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    1. “Doll” Oddity and Transformation on a Spaceship

      by , 02-21-2018 at 01:52 PM
      Morning of September 9, 1966. Friday.



      I am apparently on a spaceship, though there are no others around except for a couple of adult males who are talking near the end of a hall until they go around a corner (a common event in early childhood dreams). As I wander around, not being focused on much of anything, I see what I first think is a baby lying on the floor on its back, though partly covered with a ragged blanket. I soon consider that it is probably a plastic doll that someone dropped, but upon closer look, it is a heavy metallic statue of a man in a combat helmet, though unrealistically rendered somewhat as having a baby’s body proportions.

      Later, a young girl with a lion shows me to the “front door” so I can go home. She is carrying the “statue”, which is now a ragged cloth doll with no apparent face, which is smaller than what this oddity had been minutes before. The “front door” turns out to be a semicircular ceiling (somewhat like the essence of a cave rather than a building or spaceship) that first seems to display outer space, though eventually I see the buildings of La Crosse and my apartment building. My dream fades from here.



      The night before (September 8, 1966), I had watched the first episode of “Star Trek” ever shown on television; “The Mantrap”; as well as the “Tarzan” episode “Eyes of the Lion”, which came directly before it on the same channel. This “Tarzan” episode (as well as movies like “The Lion” from 1962, which also featured a young girl with an adult male lion) had influenced a number of my dreams later on despite the fact I had confused it in my teenage years with “The Haunted Lighthouse”, an episode of “Lost in Space” that also featured a girl (Penny), a lion, a cave, and “going back home”, though that did not air until October 18, 1967. In the “Tarzan” episode, a young blind girl who lived in a cave used an adult lion as a seeing-eye animal. (I am still wary of lions in some dreams, depending on my level of unconsciousness in relationship to my dream state awareness level, as it is a natural factor of potential RAS modulation as the waking alert factor, and additionally as emergent consciousness coalescence, as a lion can swallow the dream self, though this coalescence factor has been re-symbolized as hugging in some dreams, by way of virtuous circle, as with “Changing the Lion of Coalescence into my Wife Zsuzsanna" from December 3, 2016).

      I can easily see the autosymbolism of this dream. The soldier statue was implied as a RAS modulation precursor, as RAS is often aggressive if I subliminally decide that it is not time to wake yet. However, I eventually accepted consciousness reascension and there was no conflict. Learning the nature of the dream state at an early age was very beneficial, as nightmares or even “bad dreams” are extremely rare, other than when biologically premonitory.



      This online dream journal entry was reformatted from the source material, abridged, and clarified on Wednesday, 21 February 2018.


    2. Another “Supernatural” Adventure

      by , 10-25-2017 at 07:49 AM
      Morning of October 25, 2017. Wednesday.



      There are two types of dream scenarios influenced by the “Supernatural” television series; ones in which I am “in” the show’s world (without realizing that it is fiction) and ones in which I am aware of the Winchesters as their real-life counterparts as actors and on the set of the show or another location. This dream is of the former type; I am “in” the world where “Supernatural” is imagined as “real”.



      Sam and Dean, and apparently their father, have discovered a portal to another world, though it is more like a pocket universe in the form of a large cave. They need to retrieve something deeper within the cave, such as important maps or other documents and possibly treasure.

      There are unusual features related to working near the opening of this cave. There is a small pond as well as some sort of dynamic staircase that rises from the pond and which changes in position and orientation (including upside-down).

      At one point, there are very loud footsteps and vibrations that imply a giant anthropomorphic creature approaching the mouth of the cave from inside; a giant manlike beast that wakes up when the portal is open, apparently preventing people from going farther into the cave, though I never see this giant. They close the portal for a time, though I decide to run off and hide in an orange grove. I think about which orange tree would be the most suitable to hide behind. At this point, it seems like the orange grove across the street from my Cubitis home (where I have not lived since 1978), which then implies that the portal was in about the center of the Cubitis living room, bilocated as such (environmental bilocation being a very common aspect of my dreams since childhood, yet of which I hardly ever see other people write about).

      Absentmindedly, I go back to the location where Sam and Dean are. They seem very cheerful. They have an unusual advantage now. There are two living idols that are on our side of the portal that are preventing two smaller living idols from going back into the entrance of the cave. The smaller ones are only about a foot high and the other two about two feet in height. They look somewhat like Maori idols. I watch the smaller two try to get back into the cave, but they eventually give up because of the larger two guarding it. They then go to a playground and have fun sliding down the slide, exclaiming “wee” and giggling. I watch the activity of these unusual living statues for a few minutes.

      Sam and Dean are now getting what they want from the cave. The giant will sleep when the two small idols are not present inside. He could not possibly wake up otherwise. From here, I absentmindedly wander off into a featureless field (a common liminal space setting in my dreams, especially in the last scene), which seems to be at night.

      A beautiful young girl approaches though I do not fully recognize her as a young version of Zsuzsanna (even though she is, though my conscious self identity is still subliminal and my non-lucid dream self amnesiac and of fictitious dynamics). We hug and kiss but she says something about needing to go somewhere. I assume I will see her again later as my dream fades.



      Since early childhood, other than literal prescience (including biological foreshadowing as well as premonitory factors of the waking jolt itself) and many other literal features, my dreams have easily been seen as mostly being about dreaming and waking in real time (and the symbolism as such, obviously as it is a mental process in real time) rather than the nebulous and ill-informed concept of “interpretation” that many people believe in for whatever reason. The same is true for this dream.

      The cave represents the status of being unconscious (including the redundant factor of a dream as if of “another world” that “hides” the conscious self identity) as well as deeper levels of memory (validated by the Cubitis setting, not seen in real life since 1978). The four idols represent dynamics of the reticular activating system, which mediates the level of consciousness (and is responsible for the nature of waking symbolism, sometimes utilizing real-life environmental ambiance or physical discomfort of sleeping position). The two smaller idols (emergent consciousness factors, unfeasibly otherwise modeled after the preconscious, representing the two brain hemispheres) need to be present to activate waking, yet the two larger idols (dream-based figures representing my subliminal desire to sleep longer) prevent them from causing the giant to wake. The two smaller idols still playfully simulate waking (to indicate that waking up is not so bad) by playfully going down the slide, which is akin to the common biological falling sensation of waking.

      After this, a young Zsuzsanna (mostly as she appeared when we first met in real life, though she is wearing slacks and a blouse) is rendered as the emergent consciousness factor to “try again”. This time, coalescence waking symbolism is the key and the feasible result, which symbolizes both my dream self’s coalescence back into my conscious self identity, my link to the familiar, and the dawning of conscious self identity recognition, which is not present in many dream states.



      “Beyond the Martian Time Barrier / The Martian Casket” from 1973 is a very good example of the same core symbolism. The status of sleeping and waking bilocated in the center of the Cubitis living room in mostly the same way, though in that dream, REM sleep was also symbolized as the “sleeping” Martian’s eyes being seen to move realized as being mine as reflected back. In that case, there was not an additional waking symbolism segment as here, as it was not needed.

    3. Of Magic Matchbox Cars and Intoxicating Clam Shells

      by , 10-07-2017 at 12:31 PM
      Morning of October 7, 2017. Saturday.



      This dream has a thread of a consciously created type. However, it is sustained into non-lucidity, which always skews the pattern. In a previous dream, I used, “I invite the healing power of Universal Love into all areas of our lives”. For this one, I used, “I invite the infinite healing power of Universal Mind into all areas of our bodies” and changing it to “my body” in some sequences. As long-term readers would already know, I never post fully scripted dreams online, as there would be no point. However, I do post certain dreams of apex lucidity and dreams of this nature with singular or dual scripting threads that skew into amusing distortions. (Also, a fully scripted dream would have consciously created environmental details as well as visual details and situational details, not just a foundational affirmation as here.)

      I find myself in the dream state, but unlike with apex lucidity and sustained hypnagogia, my lucidity and conscious self identity is soon absent. The affirmation thread becomes a literal thread in my dream, that is, a string attached to the front bumper of a Matchbox car. (The string, sometimes a rope, is a method I use to go in and out of the dream state, symbolic of the “line of communication” with my conscious self identity, which typically disintegrates in the non-lucid dream state when it is replaced by my clueless personified subconsciou as my dream self.)

      This Matchbox car is a 1930s convertible. At times, even without being lucid, I will it to again become a “real” full-sized automobile that I drive around in an unknown large city. I drive it rapidly through various streets to where there is a focus on the idea of being stopped for speeding. Still, the police are always going in the opposite direction. At one point, I shrink the car back down and walk to an area near a wharf.

      The wharf is rendered rather curiously. It is at the side of the road where there is a ladder down to a small platform which is adjacent to a commercial building. An unknown black male is now present as well as my wife Zsuzsanna. There is a comment made by an unknown female who also comes to the area. It relates to my magic Matchbox car. She wants to know if she can borrow it to sail across the ocean. I consider this (without realizing that “sailing the ocean” is dream symbolism for dreaming itself). At this point, I will the car to become just large enough for her to fit in it and I place it on a raft that appears. Still, I consider that the mode of transportation is not stable enough, so I tell her that I do not think it is a reliable way to travel. Curiously, my hand seems to be as big as the raft as I test it for how much weight it can hold as well as its buoyancy dynamics.

      I am standing on the side of the road and the other male wants to borrow my car. I whistle for my Matchbox car and it arrives (from the other side of town) and grows to normal size. He gives me a roll of one-dollar notes. When he returns, I feel I should give him something in return. I hand him the handwritten affirmation (without realizing what it is) that had been in my wallet. I give him some other documents that feature unusual writing and symbols.

      My awareness shifts slightly, but I do not become lucid. I end up going into a large cave which is ambiguously rendered with the dynamics of a room in a house. A tunnel, more like a long hallway, leads to the opening. I whistle for my Matchbox car again and notice the end of the string near the mouth of my cave. I pull my Matchbox car into the cave using the string. (The car in this case is dual symbolism that represents my real physical body as well as the consciously created affirmation of which is still extant, but subliminal in this level of dream state awareness).

      There is an opening in the wall to the left (when inside the cave) of the entrance. (“On the left” typically relates to dream state induction or reinduction while right is the direction waking symbolism is oriented towards, at least for me, as I usually sleep on my left side, so any sort of waking prompt or biological RAS factor would naturally be perceived on the side more exposed and “open”; my right; kind of obvious, though I have considered additional factors of why this is - as in reading English and linear time as being from left to right, as well as right being my strongest side, though governed by the left hemisphere of the brain.)

      I discover a number of ancient artifacts and fossils. One is a ritual clam shell that is covered (and somehow seems to generate) an unusual intoxicating powder. This is a “healing powder” that cavemen used in prehistoric times. Although I have never been an active drug user in real life as such, I continue to slap the clam shell against my ears to become more and more intoxicated, feeling more and more bliss and comfort.

      After a time, while I am seated on the floor of the “cave”, a shadowy caveman figure approaches, though he is more like an ancient ape with a manlike essence. He briefly touches me on the shoulder and knee and seems of a positive presence. He is more like a loving spirit or ancient “ghost” and walks on to another part of the cave.

      Soon, a classmate from years ago, Steve J, and at least three others, walks down the hallway into my cave. I tell them about the artifacts and special powder and ask if they would like to improve their minds and bodies with this “healing powder”.



      This dream only serves to validate what I have already known for over twenty years. Somehow, my unconscious mind cannot distinguish between the word “power” and “powder” (which sometimes appears as flour, a play on “flower” and dual distortion of the “flowing of power”). (This is kind of moot as most people who are not fully conscious cannot even correctly recite the alphabet or count to twenty.) Still, my unconscious has seemingly selected a “convenient” physical representation of “power” which is otherwise an abstract concept that could not be efficiently rendered in the dream state anyway, so I am not complaining. Since an affirmation is something heard by the ears, at least this explains why I am slapping the clam shells against my ears, which of course, is a metaphor for hearing an affirmation via headphones.


      Updated 10-25-2017 at 07:52 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    4. Directing Godzilla with the Book that Controls the Universe

      by , 09-05-2016 at 09:22 AM
      Morning of September 5, 2016. Monday.



      I find myself in an unusual balanced composite (more integrated than usual) of my Cubitis family home and the Barolin Street house (to where the Barolin Street house’s porch is integrated with my Cubitis bedroom in atypically smooth orientation). I have a large hardcover book which seems to be meant to be a notebook yet has the look of a novel.

      I am aware that Godzilla is approaching from the west (Cubitis orientation) and will reach the house within a short time. I am clearly focused and write in the book how Godzilla will not damage the house and will pass by without destruction.

      As I write with a pencil, more like making annotations above my previous writing at some points, I hear Godzilla approaching. Soon, he is somehow in the house but only about as tall as the ceiling. He does not bother me and instead, ducks down and goes through the doorway. He turns to the left and shuffles through another doorway after hunching down. No damage is done. I find this interesting but I also realize that he may come back in his full size and with a more monstrous presence depending on how I write the events in the book I have.

      I get the sense of there being an island in the distance (northeasterly), which Godzilla will mostly destroy all the buildings on, yet I am not focused on the idea of a body of water separating it from the region where the house is. I write about how Godzilla will march in a rectangular path so that he will eventually come back from the same direction, but supposedly not near the house. I walk to an area that is like an underground cavern but still seems part of the house (and “actually” above ground). In Cubitis orientation, this cavern would open to the north and is probably analogous to the hallway of that house with a vague bilocation. An unknown dark-haired female approaches me from the mouth of the cave while holding a pillow horizontally (obvious dream sign) with a black gemstone with an emerald cut sitting horizontally on it. It is about six inches long. This character seems like an odd composite of Xena and Kira from “The Dark Crystal”. (There is an association with my wife Zsuzsanna here. Her middle name is Gabrielle, which is also Xena’s friend’s name. Kira is also the name of a “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” character and “Star Trek” featured in another dream of today.)

      She seems very concerned about the supposedly inevitable approach of Godzilla and yet is also wondering if the crystal should ever be used to control such creatures, as it is implied to be of great power and may fall into the wrong hands. She talks about hiding it instead, so that no one would ever be able to use it for anything.

      “It doesn’t matter at all,” I say. “I can control everything in the universe with this book. In fact, I made everything in the universe.”

      The girl eyes me curiously while seemingly dismissing that the crystal has any consequential aspect at all but seems puzzled and somewhat wary about being an entity I had created or she may be uncertain how I may shape events concerning Godzilla’s approach towards her people or alternate world. I wake before writing any more.



      This was interesting in that I had total control by what I wrote in the book yet was not even slightly lucid at any point. A book represents the nature of consciousness (or the transmuted conscious mind within the dream state) and the critical thinking skills on the conscious identity side of liminal space.

      A pillow is an obvious dream sign, not at all a symbol, that is, a residual memory of having fallen asleep (as is a bed and being undressed in public). The crystal seems to symbolize focused lucidity here (as it is dark and sits on the pillow and thus is analogous to the sleeping mind), yet full dream control is still present without lucidity or even a greater perceptual clarity. As Kira has wings and is a muppet, this is an atypical form of the otherwise very common “return flight” waking metaphor which also reflects the artificial nature of the dream state (and a puppet or muppet obviously represents potential dream control).

      The cave represents the dreaming side of liminal space (or the depths of the unconscious while sleeping) and thus on the primary level the emergence of the female character symbolizes my wife Zsuzsanna waking up next to me. Godzilla was the base coalescence metaphor (dream-swallower for the return to whole consciousness yet also represents heartburn in this case which I had to a small degree after waking, especially as Godzilla hunches down with his left paw on his stomach at one point), yet something within my dream self focus was able to shape my dream differently without being lucid.

      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. The Last Human Settlement

      by , 09-24-2015 at 10:33 AM
      Morning of September 24, 2015. Thursday.




      Firstly in my dream, I seem to be living in the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane, but it eventually transforms into a much larger structure that seems partly embedded in a mountain, as there are rooms that are like caves later on. Prior to the shifting setting change, there is a young male that appears to have some sort of medical problem. He claims to have a toothache that is supposedly related to a headache even though the “headache” (the source being near the top of his head and related to a protruding blood vein) is somehow in his jaw. The male reminds me of a younger version of my wife’s brother George (Gyorgy). I ask him if I can help in any way, but he seems more annoyed by the present living arrangements than his continuous pain and potential nearing demise.

      There are two other people in the house who may be younger versions of two of our children (oldest son and daughter). At one point, I teach some Russian, but it is mainly only two rows of audio-based prompts on a computer screen and primarily relates to pronouns, including variations of “I” and “me”; “ya”, “menya”, and “mne”. Over time, I become aware of there being more people around.

      There is seemingly a nuclear explosion in the distance, but very loud in my dream’s immediate setting. When I look out, however, it looks quite odd, like narrow clustered columns of pink and orange smoke rising high into the sky in the distance, right on the horizon (from an unknown city). This seems to mean that modern society, for the most part, no longer exists. I notice our home seems to be isolated and within a composite of desert and meadow, with no signs of any other buildings. However, I still hear several dogs barking at the distant explosion, which almost seems to be a good sign.

      We now live in an unusual composite of large cave and house, though with a layout somewhat like a shopping mall, with a public court and an additional adjoining building or group of buildings. Someone (unknown) says that the monster can now leave - which relates to the nuclear event somehow or the fact that there are not many people left in the world for it to terrorize. A door is opened somewhere in the cave-building that had kept the monster trapped, and the front door to outside is also opened. The “monster” leaves on its own accord after randomly wandering through various rooms to find its way out. It looks like an ordinary warthog as it passively walks out the main entrance. There is no threat or drama or concern of any kind at all at this point.

      Later, I go to another building (part of the same settlement) and wander through the halls. I warily notice an unusual lump and weight pulling down the skin of my left forearm as well as minor burns and scabs. I realize I have something inside my arm. I carefully shuffle the hard object forward and out through the scar on my wrist (from my accident as a toddler) and it is a rectangular piece of thin metal, almost as wide as my wrist. Another similar object comes out after, which is like partly reflective glass of a similar size and shape (possibly part of a small mirror). The sensations and progressive movement are extraordinary “realistic” (though possibly more like pushing something under a shirt sleeve out through the cuff as I do not feel much pain). I feel my arm to make sure no other objects are in it. I “realize” that this probably happened when I was sleeping on a bed full of junk and the objects somehow got into my arm without me noticing until now (which is of course, a false memory as I do not sleep on a bed full of metallic junk, sharp objects, and wires as implied).



      I go back and give the objects (and a few other bits of junk I found in the building) to the leader of the settlement (who seems to be actor Clancy Brown). At this point I tell him how the objects perhaps grew inside me somehow with regard to chemicals in the air, perhaps. He seems only mildly interested in the event but still wants everything I have. As we walk through a doorway back into the building (no longer with cave features) I had been staying in, I see two fancy car keys lying on the floor just inside the doorway with some apparently discarded documents. They have an atypical appearance; other than somewhat floral regarding the shape on one end, very slightly paperclip-like in part of the form only. I consider that if I pick them up and keep them for myself, the leader might not like it when he finds out, so I point them out saying, “look at those keys”. The leader says, rather egotistically, “I’ll just take these keys”. His behavior brings mild amusement. He then asks me what year they are from as if that is important and I say “1961” but then consider that “1961” might actually be a serial number unrelated to the date (though do not mention this). (The imagery is curious, as the number looks the same right-side-up as it does upside-down.)

      In the final scene, I am sitting in a hall with several others of various ages. One (unknown) teenage girl in the opposite corner (opposite an implied perpendicular continuation of the hall) starts complaining about everything in a pessimistic and defeatist rant, and, even though there are only about a hundred people left on the planet, I tell her that I do not want to listen to her “f–ked up fantasies” (in the sense that they are negative and of no use, including trivial gossip and pointless opinions of others in the hall). From here, I feel cheerful and completely optimistic and ignore her otherwise depressing prattle, especially as I get the impression there will be a self-sustaining community expanding soon.


    6. Vulnerable

      by , 08-02-2015 at 02:02 PM
      Morning of August 2, 2015. Sunday.



      There is a small hill on the side of a larger hill sloped down to my left with a single tree growing on the top and a small cave within the smaller hill that is slightly to the left at first. Looking more closely upon approach, tree roots hang down from the ceiling of the cave. This creates somewhat of an unusual impression that I cannot put words to. It gives me pause to think that, even though the tree is possibly very old, many of its roots are exposed within the cave, even more-so by anyone who wants to mess about in the cave. In fact, I even get the impression of an unsavory character looking around the side of the hill to my right.

      Going partly into the cave though mostly staying by the entrance, I discover that the roots are actually not roots, but the trunk of some sort of miniature exotic tree (possibly a fruit tree of some kind). The top of the tree is in fact very green and I now see that the roof of the cave has nothing hanging from it as was seen just previously. Now I think that this special tree may even be more vulnerable than the tree above (even though it is unlikely it would have flourished in a dark cave as such) as it is seemingly much younger and certainly smaller.

      However, it soon dawns on me that I am, in fact, in the cave myself (rather than looking in from just outside) and am looking out at a normal-sized tree in a field that is a fair distance from the cave, as I realize I am looking at a blue sky from my viewpoint rather than the dark recesses of a cave. (There is a brief sense of deja vu relating to something about commentary on dream journals, yet I cannot quite focus and I am in no way lucid and the idea of a dream journal, especially a digital one, falsely seems somewhat abstract and “out of reach”). I am wondering if I should feel vulnerable now that I am in the cave and am not sure if I should exit. I do not really focus on the illogical changes of perspective and imagery and placement that I would otherwise just enjoy in light sleep paralysis (during the speedier imagery before it slows down enough to “enter” when a more interesting setting or location appears).

      When I was very young, I played near a recess in a hill on Chipmunk Coulee, though the “cave” was not very deep. I remember at least one photograph where I was sitting in the area, which is probably with at least one relative now. I remember the unusual perspective I had at that age (which carried over into some later dreams) of being “between worlds” just by sitting within the entrance (part of me outside, part inside).

      Updated 08-08-2015 at 09:19 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. "Hot Stuff’s Day Out"

      by , 11-16-1974 at 05:16 PM
      Late morning of November 16, 1974. Saturday.



      This dream started out seemingly in my room in Cubitis. After a short time, though, the entire west wall seems to open up into a sort of sky view (as if our house is elevated somewhat). I walk over to the “edge” of my floor. Somehow, I slip - and go rolling down a steep embankment with a lot of thick grasses and shrubs (an accurate “replay” at least in physical sensations and implied direction of a real-life event when black classmate Ray G pushed me over a hill when we were out looking for arrowheads).

      When I reach the bottom after a sort of “slow-motion” movement down the hill, I look up and see what is reminiscent of an Easter Island statue, but a bit smaller and with more realistic features. Oddly, I hear a loud Caucasian male’s voice (British or Australian) as if he is actually narrating my dream in real time. His voice booms from “nowhere”, talking about “African Gods” as if he is describing something in a PBS documentary.

      After a short time, I am aware of three male explorers (probably in their forties) in beige safari outfits who are going into a cave not that far back from the supposed cliff I had just fallen from. Somehow, I am “back on the cliff” (I do not remember climbing up). The three men look terrified. An adult version of Hot Stuff (a Harvey comic book and cartoon character), still wearing a diaper, comes out and walks up to them (Hot Stuff on the left and the three men to the right). They seem to remain in shock and horror, though nothing dramatic or dangerous results, but I am vaguely considering at what point did my dream became a comedy farce, especially considering the dramatic narration and eerie mood prior to this scene. (I had been thinking about an adventure about finding a treasure chest.) Throughout much of my life, I could not help having Hot Stuff appear in my mind’s eye when anyone used the word “devil” and as a result, I have rarely had a disturbing dream of a more feasible or threatening “devil” as such.

      This was one of the only times a dream had a more “realistic” in-dream narrator, though another case being in “Cats…” (from the morning of January 4, 1969) in which the unseen male voice also came from the upper left as if through a loudspeaker (though in this dream the voice seemed to be louder).

      This dream’s primary segment was induced with the “rolling down the hill” metaphor which of course has no “interpretation” as it is simply the form of transition and induction, but which was far more common with my sister’s dreaming style. I was not quite sure if this should be classified as a typical DDR dream, especially as my emergent consciousness (via a secondary dream self hybridization) is rendered as the “devil”. Obviously however, this “devil” is a comic book character, which is “mundane” and silly from a realistic viewpoint.

      Updated 03-02-2016 at 09:01 AM by 1390

      Categories
      lucid