Blue_Opossum

Morning of February 5, 2018. Monday.



I enter an unusual state of faux lucidity, where I have the awareness of what the dream state is and how to create and manipulate dreams, but I do not have my conscious self identity or full realization I am dreaming at the time even as I am creating and manipulating my dream (a bizarre enigma that cannot be resolved in waking life thought, yet which I otherwise experience very often). This is different from states where I am aware of my conscious self at one level, yet do not recall what a dream is, though I am still able to greatly influence dream events and features. This validates that the nature of RAS mediation is not predictable due to the variations of circadian rhythms, as the biological need to wake varies depending on depth of sleep, physical needs, and certain thought processes - many of which are random (for example, threads of something seen on television or material from a book).

I step into the dream state, yet immediately lose conscious self monitoring. I find myself walking through an open area that seems to be a wide street in an unfamiliar city. I am thinking to myself about what time period that I want the dream’s setting to occur in. I think about it being the 1920s, 1930s, or 1940s, and decide I will make it the 1930s.

I watch people walk around, dressed as if they were from the 1930s (although it had been the 1920s before I willed the change). I offer to help an unfamiliar woman (of about fifty) by carrying her package, but she is not interested in me helping her.

Next, I focus on dream state indicators (still without viable awareness that I am dreaming at the time, as this is by residual threads of habit in the lucid dream state since childhood). I find myself in the southwest bedroom of Cubitis (where I have not been since June of 1978). A young version of Zsuzsanna is in the bed, which is aligned along the south wall, head at the southwest corner. I create a radio for her to listen to, but then I am trying to remember if the songs that are playing are from the 1930s or from a much later period, as I do not want to alarm her with inexplicable sounds.

I get distracted and summon a group of dream characters to then look through the door of my room. However, the doorway opens into a landscape instead of my old Cubitis bedroom. I create the essence of a dinosaur in the distance (a typical act in faux lucidity since childhood) and tell the unknown people to watch. The dinosaur eventually appears, but is like a mix of stegosaurus and tyrannosaurus. It moves over the top of a mountain, from right to left in profile (subliminal reinduction attempt), and roars. It is far away at this time and poses no threat.

From here, I go back to the southwest bedroom, but then RAS mediation temporarily increases and I go into the bathroom (and although I do have to use the bathroom in reality, it is not yet that intense a wake-up call), as I am aware the dinosaur is in the house (which makes no sense as it would be too big) and I am now wary of it (even though I had deliberately created it minutes before). I close the door to subliminally avoid the waking activation. I feel soft weight pressing against the door, but I am able to keep it closed. Still, RAS mediation triggers an offset dream of a different level of awareness rather than doorway waking symbolism fully activating.

Entering a different dream state and level of awareness, I then find myself walking with a group of people that I had summoned. Zsuzsanna is present as she is now. We are all walking through an unknown city.

Ahead, and to our right, next to the curb, is an oversized vehicle that resembles a giant stagecoach (more like a stagecoach illogically mixed with a circus train car and doubled in size). It is basically a cage on wheels in the shape of a giant colorful stagecoach. The area behind where the driver would sit is an open area where a lion jumps up and looks down at us. There are other lions in the cage in the bottom area. I am thinking that the lion will jump down near us, but it remains in its location, as something vague in the back of my mind reminds me of subliminal dream manipulation but not directly and not with viable lucidity. This is a bizarre enigma, to subliminally reflect on subliminal (non-lucid) control of the dream state without being viably aware of being in the dream state and yet controlling the dream anyway.

From here, there is an area where people are watching a gorilla walk around. P.T. Barnum is present and showing off the gorilla. There is a cage, and straw covers the street upon where the cage had been placed, but the gorilla is able to leave the cage through the open area. There is no threat however, and the people do not seem that impressed. There is an unknown girl present and I tell her to become part of the scene so that there is an additional ape for the people to view. She does not look like a gorilla of course, but I eventually decide to make her with hair all over. She goes over to the gorilla and P.T. Barnum seems slightly puzzled but somewhat appreciative, even though the girl is not actually a gorilla or acts like one. It seems the public will believe anything, which pleases him. I vaguely remember the Barnum effect, which relates to people who believe in “dream interpretation”. My dream eventually fades with no dominant RAS event. (P.T. Barnum is the personified preconscious in this case, though my dream self already has a thread of emergent consciousness evidenced by my odd state of faux lucidity, so I wake without the need for a strong emotion as the waking alert factor.)

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Morning of March 13, 2017. Monday.



The first scene involves wandering around in a mostly empty circus tent that is connected to at least one other one. We had apparently bought two-dollar tickets (for all the members of our family) to see some sort of comedic monologue and perhaps something else, but it appears that there is going to be no event as such when the time approaches. There are not that many people around. I am very annoyed that they are not going to honor our tickets. It seems like very bad business practice. The ringmaster walks into a different featureless area and talks about random subjects unrelated to their original plans and even seems annoyed by people expecting them to do a show. I get the impression that he does not care at all about honoring any of the tickets ever sold at any time in the various locations they travel to.

My family and I leave and soon find some sort of odd Halloween display at a park. There is a scene where Zsuzsanna is sitting in a swing on one end of a swing set (to my left as I am at a distance, though walking closer to the situation, approaching from behind them). Our youngest son is in the middle swing but there is an unknown boy (slightly older than our son) who is bullying our son (and to his right) and grabbing at the chain of his swing. Our son is trying to push him away. The unruly boy has bruises and scratches on his face and arms (though likely not caused by our son). As I approach, I tell him to leave and he does. I then comment, “Some parents sure do not know how to watch their kids or teach them anything”. Oddly, an unknown female who I first thought was the unruly boy’s mother unexpectedly agrees with me. (She had been sitting on the ground on the opposite side of the swing set, facing my direction) However, she turns out to not be the boy’s mother after all and has her own son nearby (to her left).

There is an unusual scenario where (stereotypical) Halloween witches are running around and randomly screaming at people. There is a short time where I decide to take on this role myself (and put on a Halloween witch outfit and wig) but I soon become bored of it as I cannot seem to scream correctly. It comes out rather course and not that loud. The patrons just look at me with slight amusement.

There is an unusual scene where an unfamiliar younger male in minimal Halloween makeup is playing two alternating notes on an electronic keyboard. It sounds similar to the “Jaws” theme. At the same time he is playing this motif, a set of French doors on the opposite side of the playground area open and close in perfect time to the note patterns. I do not find this scary but it does seem a bit curious. It is almost as if he is trying to give me some sort of clue about something (likely the preconscious indicating that I can leave the dream by going through the doors - or perhaps cause it to shift, even though I am not lucid).

There is a scene of a tall cylindrical structure that seems to be somewhat like an enclosed pile driver. A small metal structure comes down as our youngest son goes inside the building when he seems curious of it. It is just big enough for one person to stand inside in the center. The lowering structure pushes on him but does not seem that heavy or forceful even though I was wary of it at first. Still, he seems to have difficulty with his legs in attempting to get out, but does not seem injured and gets out on his own. (It almost seems like an unlikely composite of pile driver, elevator, farm silo, and a circus strength tester where the bell is rung. It may be loosely based on the playground rocket I sometimes explored as a child in La Crosse.)

In the last scene, I feel very cheerful. It seems to be nighttime. I am with Zsuzsanna and I eventually notice a huge object towering in the sky about a block away. It looks like the underside of a giant microscope with about eight objective lenses. However, I consider that it is some sort of movie equipment for recording a crowd of people. I find it awe-inspiring and try to get Zsuzsanna’s attention for her to look at it, but there seems to be something that is somehow blocking her view of it.

The second-from-last scene is an obvious but distorted waking precursor. It is like an incomplete elevator, and of course an elevator serves as a waking precursor or sometimes induction (just as in guided meditation and certain types of hypnosis). Still, the last segment indicated the consciousness shift (and a higher clarity) and a curious subliminal association with my conscious self in the habit of examining my dreams and dream self (as if with a giant microscope).

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