Blue_Opossum

Morning of August 21, 2015. Friday.



I was trying to feasibly do two things at once last night; that is, doing a bit of extra research and writing and doing dream-making preparation exercises (involving image projection and affirmations) during the same time period, which of course, lacks the fluidity of natural dream construction and does not result in extended apex lucidity. Granted, it creates lucidity and in-dream full awareness on one level, but via an unusual perspective and while lacking the otherwise automatic settings and scenes. This particular type of dream is very different than other types, where the dream-making self and the sleeping conscious self are not fully linked as in apex lucidity, yet still as if awake at some levels (and seems to be one of the only types where critical thinking skills are vaguely present at times). Of all the different levels of consciousness, this is probably one of the most annoying. Although surreal events can and do happen, there is no telekinetic ability or abilities involving reshaping of energies.

Before going into a fully rendered in-body dream, my focus was a bit unusual. I was in an atypical form of very light sleep paralysis, the type where you can hear audio pulses and see half-rendered dream settings (and even feel light phantom touches), but rather sparse in attention. A young girl’s voice says “hear me…hear me…heal me…” very clearly (actual sound rather than just the felt waveform), which seems almost like “real” contact of some kind. This brings me awake and I ask Zsuzsanna if it was her and she says no, she had not been sending, intentionally or not (and even so, there is often a minor blue flame event when that happens).

Eventually, in-dream, I am back at my computer and I know I am dreaming, yet for some reason, I am strictly limited to my physical form in the chair. Of course, being in my dream, the computer is not behaving as it should. I am trying to get to a particular tab in Firefox, but the mouse is not responding very well.

So what I do, is peal the tab I am trying to get to off of the actual glass of the monitor. Eventually, I notice about four layers, each related to a particular tab in the browser. The computer monitor starts to separate into several layers of very thin and pliable glass (though more reminiscent of plastic in pliability), and it looks like I may have damaged something. I try to push the thin layers of screen back together and my fingers go a few inches into the screen as the thin sheets of glass are a bit out of alignment.

From here, a small white furball with an emoticon-like face, about the size of a white Furby, but with no ears, falls off my desk. It seems somehow alive, as it does hop around a few times, though a bit chaotically. I try to get it to act aggressively or to make a hostile face, but there is no response. It grins at one point and I try to get it to sprout fangs, but nothing happens. This annoys me. Intense emotion is having no effect on my intent to alter dream nuances. I cannot even create a proper “monster”, not even a little one.

I get up and go outside where there are three tyrannosauruses sleeping in our backyard on their stomachs (the biggest facing north and along the east fence opposite the public footpath, the other two facing east and west). It seems just prior to sunrise, but there is enough light to see their overall shape and certain other details. Maybe I can get a dinosaur to chase me. That might be fun. I did it often enough when much younger. I try to mentally will the dinosaurs awake, but that does not work. I kick them. Nothing happens. I jump around and kick them several times (even in the eyes) but they do not stir. Finally, I use my last scrap of mental energy and wake one up. It rises up on two legs but soon is “pulled” back into its sleeping form - like an accelerated series of movie frames, with the residual impression that the sleeping form had not moved and its waking form was only a fleeting ghost image, being pulled back into itself by sparse wispy tendrils.

Instead of relaxing and staying in my dream or trying to step into a preset scenario, I deliberately “walk out of it” through the fence and make a rude gesture to the three sleeping giants behind me.