• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. “Your Greatest Fear” (Apartment of the Three Witches)

      by , 05-08-2018 at 07:46 AM
      Morning of January 28, 1994. Friday.

      In the continuation of my lifelong focus on establishing a higher understanding and control of the dream state and to vivify settings and experiences, dream control becomes a viable factor. (On the 1 to 5 scale, I am about 80% lucid until the last scene, where I become 100% lucid, and additionally lucidly omnipresent in becoming the dream state itself and my dream is greatly vivified. However, dream control and lucidity are unrelated as, through the virtuous circle effect and lifelong knowledge of autosymbolism, I liminally modulate many of my dreams without my dream self being aware I am dreaming.) It results in a setting that is much like Daisy’s first-floor apartment (yet also has an ambiguous association with the owners’ downstairs living area of the King Street boarding house). (Daisy was an elderly lady that my mother knew. We used to go to her restaurant and have hamburgers when I was young. We also visited her first-floor apartment of which was part of a commercial building near the middle of town. She had a sister who ran a record store where I got all my 45s when growing up.)

      Borrowing the concept of the three witches from “Macbeth”, as well as Wendy the Good Little Witch’s mean aunts - especially as an older vivid childhood dream had been influenced by them (and I often like to borrow content from my older dreams to develop a greater clarity of mind), I willingly set the plot in motion. The witches are more like Halloween witches, though more realistic as reasonable people than in movies or television (or comic books). There is a vague association with Daisy and her sister for two of them, but they do not have their identities. The landlady of the King Street boarding house also seems partially borrowed for the persona of the third. Despite the setting being modeled after Daisy’s apartment in Florida, it actually seems to be located in La Crosse, Wisconsin in my dream’s final scene.

      There is a white door (of which did not exist in real life in either facet of the composite setting) in the north wall of the living room. This is my challenge. In opening it, I will supposedly face “my greatest fear” (that is, my greatest possible dream-related fear, not a real life association) according to the information given by the three witches. They also say it is to be my greatest challenge. There is an atmosphere of sustained respect and intent. Meanwhile, the witches seem to be sewing and knitting things from spiderweb, including a sweater and larger afghan or shawl. They mostly take turns sitting on a couch that faces east.

      Eventually, I go to the door (oriented to the left of their courch, though slightly west of it so that one would have to turn about to their left to see it on the north wall). I am wondering how I will (instinctively) react. I am wondering how the witches will respond to how I react.

      When I open the door, my dream vivifies rather than serving as typical doorway waking autosymbolism. I open the door and walk through and suddenly find myself enjoying a sweet breeze and immediate “rush” of clarity and very pleasant and soothing summer sounds, as if I had stepped into a different dream and different level of unconsciousness. I am on the south side of the street in the 900 block of Main Street in La Crosse (a block north of the King Street boarding house even though it seemed I had just been on the first floor of that building, though again, also ambiguously modeled after Daisy’s apartment as part of the composite). The historical Christ Episcopal Church (of La Crosse) is off in the distance to my left. I hold a vague awareness of wondering if I will see my lifelong “dream girl” (precognitive identity of Zsuzsanna long before we met in real life - and she had made contact with me in real life in March of 1994, about two months after this dream). Nothing happens after this and no one else is around other than a few unknown people in the distance. It seems to be morning (even though the prior situation seemed to be taking place in early evening). I stand there enjoying the warmth and clarity and feel a deep sense of peace, which remains with me as I wake.

      In my intentional practices since I was a toddler, to modulate the dream state with allowance for RAS modulation when biologically necessary, it can easily be determined why RAS was passive here as the three witches. I was already on my way to what would otherwise be doorway waking autosymbolism, though there was no aggressive waking alert factor. Over time, this has remained a factor of both lucidity and liminal dream control, yet I was completely open to facing “my greatest fear” and this is how my dream naturally turned out without attempting to modulate the outcome as in many past dreams.

      Tags: door, love, peace, witches
    2. The Door Knocker Transformation

      by , 01-16-2018 at 05:39 PM
      Morning of January 14, 2018. Sunday.

      On the threshold of doorway symbolism (a door being a liminal space divider between the dream self and the conscious self), by which I always either leave the dream state or trigger a higher level of lucidity, I focus on an antique bronze lion face door knocker (lucidity stabilizer which also gives respect to the nature of RAS mediation). Placing my hand upon it, I feel a curious vibration, with a vague awareness of humming. (This is a common perception in dreams of augmented awareness.) It vibrates a bit more when I touch more of it. I feel very aware, secure, and loved.

      Thinking back to a vivid childhood dream, the lion head becomes a triceratops head. I consider the horns as being an odd feature for a door knocker, but it does not concern me. I move my hand over it and it recedes into the door itself (a possible influence from the pin art desk toy that our youngest son owns).

      I become aware of liminal space to a greater extent, the autosymbolism being a parking lot (a very common liminal space marker for me since childhood). I see a large metal model of a triceratops in the area. As I focus on it more deliberately, it becomes “alive” to some extent (emergent consciousness factor). It reminds me vaguely of a Transformer (Dinobot “Slug”), and speaks in a layered metallic voice (though I do not grasp the words, though I get the impression it relates to my physical body; my muscles or cells). However, without paying much notice to the waking transition, it resolves as being our youngest son, cheerfully talking about Transformers in his normal human voice. My dream brought me comfort and no dominant or aggressive RAS mediation was rendered (due to my willingness to let my dream fade on its own). (This relates to the “transformation” of the dream self back into the conscious self identity.)

      This dream’s autosymbolism that represents the waking process is the same theme as various past dreams since early childhood, where the RAS mediation factor, starting out as potentially threatening, transforms more smoothly into the human emergent consciousness factor. (The supposed potential “threat” is often only by implication of its form, not necessarily with my dream self seeing it as such. One example is the dream where I had a passive pet tiger that eventually became anthropomorphic and slowly transformed into Charles Bronson who I talked to in friendly conversation, also ending near a parking lot. Another example is the dream where I stared down a lion in the living room until it became an unknown male that I had a conversation with.)

    3. An Unlikely Door

      by , 09-04-2017 at 10:31 AM
      Morning of September 4, 2017. Monday.

      I am in our present bedroom in our house as it mostly is now. Curiously, at one point, I see that I am drinking a Frozen Coke with a straw. (I no longer drink cola in real life.) My wife Zsuzsanna, who is sitting to my left on the foot of our bed (the same orientation as we are in sleep, that is, she is on my left in our bed), had bought it. I consider possible health issues, but I decide that just this one, within a long time period, would not do that much damage to my health, and thus I enjoy drinking it (which proves that dream self “reasoning” is unrelated to conscious self reasoning).

      I should have seen this situation as a dream state indicator (since I would never drink a Frozen Coke in reality), yet I did not, and because I did not, the preconscious kicks in, in a typical imposer role of the exact same type (and same overall mood and level of dream state awareness) since early childhood. (This of course, is one of many reasons I have never believed in “dream interpretation” as the term is usually used, simply because I understand what dreams are and how they work.)

      This time the preconscious personification occurs as a young unfamiliar male, he comes into our lounge room and gazes at me from near the front door. Of course, this greatly annoys me and I get up to chase him back outside. As he goes back onto our porch, I notice it seems late at night. I jab his chest and chin with my Olympic barbell (which has no weights on it, but is my weapon of choice in many dreams), pushing him backwards. He walks out onto the street, but I shout to him that I will “get my shotgun” if he comes back.

      Zsuzsanna joins me on our porch. I notice a number of unfamiliar people walking in both northerly and southerly directions at the intersection in the street perpendicular to ours. I consider that there is some sort of public event going on. This may be why the unknown male ended up absentmindedly coming into our house.

      Without remembering that there is no door to the entrance to our porch in reality, that is, the doorway parallel to our lounge room door (front entrance), I attempt to close a wooden door. The dynamics of this otherwise solid door make absolutely no sense, but my dream self does not catch on at all.

      Zsuzsanna watches me as I attempt to close the door over the porch entrance doorway. I do this in the understanding that it is actually our lounge room door. This makes such little sense, it is utterly absurd, because our lounge room door is actually a few feet from the porch doorway and not even hinged anywhere in that area. Still, it does not matter to my dream self as I try it anyway. (The door actually somehow seems free-floating in one way, though still has some sort of virtual hinging at times.)

      I push the door to close into the right wall of the porch, but it does not quite fit. In fact, the otherwise solid wooden door bends a bit, leaving impossible curves in the top and bottom, though seems to resume its shape when pulled back out. I pull it back out and push it back in a few times, but I do not think it will serve as a viable door. I look at the items on our porch, including the dresser, and wonder if people will take

      This dream renders the waking transition as typical doorway waking symbolism of the same basic type as since early childhood. Such dreams, like many other dreams and their inherent waking symbolism, are unrelated to waking life in any symbolic sense. (I do not believe in “dream interpretation” in that sense anyway.)

      What about this dream relating to waking life in any way? Only my wife Zsuzsanna in this case has any connection to waking life, yet the fact we are sitting at the foot of our bed signifies that even this is a dream state indicator (symbolizing, in real time, that we are asleep).

      A door is typically the implied exit point of the dream in both lucid and non-lucid dreams, though a dream can also be vivified by going through a doorway or opening a door (and in fact this is one of my main ways to induce apex lucidity). This one was more illogical than in virtually countless past dreams of the same type of waking symbolism. There are probably at least two incidental reasons, one, the door pressing and crunching against the porch wall upon attempting to fully close it as was the door to my Cubitis bedroom (thus a subliminal dream state indicator relating to a “return” to bed - that is, subliminal acknowledgement that the physical body is in bed), two, the wobbliness of the door being analogous of having a heavier blanket over me at the time (as of course a blanket yields to physical movement but can be smoothed out again when a bed is made).

      Of course, as I have written hundreds of times in my personal journal since childhood, a porch symbolizes (in real time) higher liminal space and is unrelated to waking life symbolism other than the literal implications of what a porch is (between fictional dream self identity and true conscious self identity). Additionally, the preconscious is transpersonal and always consequently the least like the dreamer (until merging with the emergent consciousness if such is the case) or otherwise there would not be the emotional contrast required to induce waking (yet I am always astounded by people who do not understand this as this is a dream’s main function). While in some cases, the preconscious takes the form of a person the dreamer may have an actual conflict with, for me, it is often far less true, as there will be conflict with the preconscious no matter what conscious self dynamics are extant. Whether or not a person has any current conflict in waking life has nothing to do with the nature of the preconscious as many people unintelligently presume (though is but one of many of the inherent falsehoods of “dream interpretation” by way of the very common Barnum effect). If I were to “get along” with the preconscious, this would possibly sustain my dream indefinitely, which is not biologically feasible or healthy. However, when I do passively coalesce with the preconscious, which is then no longer the preconscious but the emergent consciousness, I wake anyway (coalescence waking symbolism). The only real difference used to be the coloring of mood on whether my dream had a positive or negative outcome. Since I now have a greater understanding of my dreams than ever before, that coloring of mood being potentially negative, regardless of preconscious dynamics, has lessened significantly.

      Updated 10-12-2017 at 12:20 PM by 1390

    4. Walls within Walls and Beyond Walls

      by , 05-09-2017 at 02:51 PM
      Morning of May 9, 2017. Tuesday.

      I am in a setting which seems to be modeled somewhat after the Loomis Street backyard, though there is the typical ambiguous feeling of being indoors and outdoors at the same time. The north fence is present but higher than in real life. There are a few unknown people present.

      I am aware of a set of parallel walls. There are at least five or six in a row and only about four feet apart. The first wall, farther south from the real fence, is made of old stones. A couple walls are more like the inside of a house.

      There is some sort of sense of wanting to explore. The main scene involves an unknown male opening a door between two walls, and this event is somehow duplicated simultaneously between two different walls, and yet it is also the same man. I believe this is the first time this has occurred in a dream.

      Tags: door, fence, stones, walls
    5. Loomis Street Door Mishap

      by , 09-01-2015 at 10:38 AM
      Morning of September 1, 2015. Tuesday.

      My wife and children and I are living on Loomis Street, it seems (though my wife and children have never been to America). At least that is where my entire dream takes place; in the front part of the house. However, the house is mirrored from north to south - the first distortion of the Loomis Street house in this particular way that I remember. It does not trigger any degree of lucidity that the house is mirrored from my right to my left as such. My family seems to at least partly be living in the first small bedroom.

      My sister Marilyn makes an appearance as she was perhaps in the early 1970s (before I even moved back to Wisconsin). She seems healthy and happy. She goes to open her bedroom door and the door mostly falls off the hinges but is still partly attached at the top. She is annoyed and mentions something about how she wanted to listen to Neil Diamond with her door closed (apparently so as not to bother others, including her sickly husband). (This is odd, as she had never listened to Neil Diamond in real life regardless of her huge record, reel to reel, and cassette tape collection.)

      I go over and make the offer to fix it, but her husband Bob suddenly shows up as if having just arrived (possibly dropped off by his relatives or perhaps my sister Carol - this is not certain). He insists that he can do it. He looks very ill and begins at the top of the door frame. The hinges are not as they would be in reality. Each of the two hinges in the door frame (the ones that came loose) is held by two silver sets of nuts and bolts, the bolts facing outward from the door frame. He begins to work on the top nut by tightening it with his hands. The other nut below that is there but very loose. The other two nuts (for the bottom hinge) are somehow somewhere in that bedroom on the other side of the door (which is not logical, as the nuts would have rolled into the living room relating to how the door mostly came off, not the other direction). Just as he is tightening the top nut, he drops his left arm (the hinges are on the left side of the door from the living room perspective). He then seems to go into some sort of pseudo-ritualistic trance. I notice that there are dark reddish circles around his eyes and he is wearing no shirt. (He is just in his underwear.) He had arrived in only his underwear and had apparently been in the hospital for a week or more.

      He just stands there looking very ill. He starts chanting “Have a headache…don’t care…have a headache…don’t care…” (which seems to mean he does not care about anything in life, even continuing to fix the hinges). I get the strong impression that he is very close to death. I decide that I will manually tighten the other nuts myself, but just as I contemplate tightening the bottom nut of the top hinge, my dream fades.

      Zsuzsanna woke with a slight headache and a bit of nausea so it is possible our empathetic link projected into a different dream character (as this has happened before) - even though her character in my dream seemed healthy and happy. In fact, this metaphor (a door not being on all the hinges) does seem to have something to do with empathetic links that need to be strengthened for the health or vitality of both (including at different levels of thought). A door itself is a point between two rooms and often takes a dreamer into different levels of consciousness or awareness.

      Precognition unveils. Right after my wife had the television on (and just as I was ready to post this), the first thing she hears is “Neil Diamond…(pause)…No, it wasn’t Neil Diamond”. My wife just smiled at me and said “You’re funny”. Of course, this is a natural event via the Source, like digesting food, not an active “ability” for the most part (at least in this particular case).

      Updated 09-01-2015 at 01:33 PM by 1390

    6. Door or Not?

      by , 06-05-2015 at 07:30 PM
      Morning of June 5, 2015. Friday.

      My wife Zsuzsanna and I are watching at least three teenage girls from an unknown family, possibly (fictional) relatives. These girls seem to be curious explorers without caring much for other people knowing where they are at any point. The main part of my dream seems to be set later at night. For some reason, we are near an apparently abandoned building in an unfamiliar and unknown (unnamed) town or region. The building is somewhat reminiscent of a barn, but longer and could possibly be some sort of industrial warehouse, though the walls are not that high.

      There is concern about a possible criminal in the area, though this is not clearly focused upon. I go into the building, which is completely made of wood and mostly featureless, and seemingly with a dirt floor (though this is not certain). I spend the rest of the time trying to work out where the girls went, trying to learn if they may be in danger or not. I do not feel directly threatened at any point, but I do not see anyone, either.

      My dream becomes rather ambiguous concerning a wall on my right and a hall on my left, near the entrance into the building. I get the impression that at least two of them may be behind the wall, yet at the same time think they cannot be, because there is no door in that wall. At one point, I imagine a light shining underneath from the entire wall (though again without discerning any door).
      Tags: door
    7. Under the Door

      by , 03-18-2015 at 02:25 PM
      Morning of March 18, 2015. Wednesday.

      My wife’s mother comes to our house and it seems her youngest half-sister is also here with her (likely being the one who drove her here in her car). Of course, we do not open the door or respond at first. There are a few different points where the door is not rendered correctly and has a wider gap at the bottom. This gap is big enough to see a person’s face when they have the side of their head pressed against the floor on the other side of the door, which is what happens at least twice in my dream. My wife’s youngest half-sister seems so much older and mean-looking that I first mistake her for her mother. Her features and expression are disturbing, though my mood and energy level does not make this a nightmare.

      At one point, her mother puts something under the door. At first, it seems to be a greeting card or letters, but the view changes to seeing at least three paintbrushes. There is an awareness that the paintbrushes should not be placed in the mouth or tasted or even touched at all because of who they had belonged to. (This may come from a very old memory of possibly an episode of “Dragnet” or another crime show where a painter implied to be on drugs puts the paintbrush in his mouth as if to suck the paint off - for some reason, this scene stuck in my memory as a child).

      Eventually, I end up yelling at them through the closed door but it is not as intense as it could be. Meanwhile, my wife is talking casually to the police on the telephone, though we do not have a restraining order against her mother or youngest half-sister though I mention getting one. (It would not matter anyway, as restraining orders in this town mean nothing, as my wife’s sister had one against the mother in reality - and it proved to be useless.)
    8. From Buzzing to Lucidity to Transparency

      by , 11-01-2013 at 05:01 PM
      Morning of November 1, 2013. Friday.

      I am in a non-lucid dream and near the Cubitis kitchenette, where I have not been (in real life) since 1978. I start to wonder about what I had been doing or was going to do, as my memory is not viable. I decide to lie down in bed to relax, becoming somewhat aware of where I really am (at our present address) but I am soon annoyed by a sound I have never heard before; a mix of high-pitched buzzing and squealing with fuzzy dynamics. I hear it three times, about four feet away from our bed but at slightly different heights each time. It is apparently not a noise from our fan, as it is on the other side. I feel I am nearing sleep, so I assume I am hearing hypnagogic sounds.

      Several minutes pass. I am near an oversized snowmobile that is covered in snow and unlikely to go anywhere, as the skis and tracks seem frozen below ground level. I start to move the snow away. It seems to be a reasonable task as if I am somehow engaged in some sort of advanced photo projection and instead of just feeling and examining all of the environment, I am actually more immersed in it and mentally manipulating it. I move a lot of snow away but wonder how I will get the snowmobile out. I see that it is not a snowmobile at all but John’s Martian tank (from the Cowsills Harvey comic book). After a time I start to wonder why I am bothering as it will probably never run again anyway, and had been abandoned by the owner.

      I “wake up” but I am still in the dream state, though it is not like a typical false awakening. I am sitting at a computer in the living room, near the kitchenette, in Cubitis. My computer is displaying an error window that moves across the screen. I try to read it, as I become semi-lucid and I want to see what my dream is “saying”, so I study the imagery as closely as possible. However, the letters keep changing as I watch (as is usually the case in dreams) and the error window still moves about in random ways, although I almost think I see all the letters of the pattern, “You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!” from a book from my childhood (and get an image from another window that appears to be on an Internet recipe page for cakes and cookies).

      The size of the error window changes a few times. I get an illogical idea that I should fix the problem in my dream and it will change the real-life situation (though my computer was not on in real life and never displayed such an error). I look around the room, amazed at the clearness of my perception and how alive I feel. I start to question if I am still dreaming or somehow woke up and went to my computer without realizing it (yet illogically without the understanding that I could not possibly be back in Cubitis).

      I walk down a hall, realizing I am now at our old address on Barolin Street. Knowing I am dreaming, I decide to have a sensual interlude with Zsuzsanna. It is afternoon and a few random dream characters are present in the house. Zsuzsanna and I are soon together and I turn around, mentally willing the door to close.

      I loudly say “Lock!” and hear a loud metallic sound from exactly where I expect it within the doorknob, and so our door is locked. I could have done it manually, but my dream obeyed me and I get the sense that not only did the door lock, but created an impenetrable seal along the door frame itself.

      Later, my dream begins to lose cohesion as I focus on the illogical thought of where my real body is or what it may be doing. In some lucid dream types I have a concern about where my sleeping body is and what position my head is in, and whether or not a pillow is too close to my mouth or even if I am absentmindedly wandering around in the middle of the street while in my lucid dream.

      I “wake up” into another lucid dream (which is only a continuation of the same dream sequence, though at another level of unconsciousness, closer to waking consciousness), thinking about how real it seems. However, I see that I am back near the Cubitis kitchenette again as in the first part of this sequence. I cannot believe how real it feels, with augmented physicality.

      I decide to go and see my beautiful wife for the second time, ending up at our present address. However, Earl (an older half-brother on my mother’s side who had died in real life in 2007) seems concerned about me when I say how my dream seems so real. I consider that it is “too real” to be a dream, but then I notice that our widescreen television looks different and is sitting on the wrong furniture. Curiously, Earl being alive does not convince me it is a dream. I wonder if he has something interesting or intelligent to say, but he continues to watch television. I see another widescreen television sitting atop a tall narrow bookcase, and curiously, this is what confirms for me that it has to be a dream.

      I decide to be with Zsuzsanna again. This time though, Zsuzsanna and parts of the environment become somewhat transparent, so I decide to let it go and wake.

      Updated 03-07-2018 at 09:03 AM by 1390

      Tags: door
    9. False Alarm (No Burglar)

      by , 06-23-1998 at 12:23 PM
      Morning of June 23, 1998. Tuesday.

      I am not sure of the time but the front door to our apartment is rattling as if someone is trying to come in.

      I carefully check it out and open our front door. Our (real-life) landlord is there doing something with a ladder in the hallway of the apartment house.

      I say, “Oh, it’s you. I thought someone was trying to break in here.”

      A ladder usually represents an autosymbolic precursor for the return to full consciousness, which is something I clearly understood even at four years of age. The hallway setting is mostly incidental but still represents a “conduit” associated with the waking process in a similar manner as an alley.

      Either our landlord or an unknown intruder would still represent RAS personification, which represents the preconscious state. Still, as our landlord, it would suggest that I perceive my emergent consciousness as the “owner” of the dream state (at least to some degree) whereas burglars (or unexpected or unwanted intruders) suggest that I am not non-lucidly controlling my dream to the extent as in this scenario. However, in non-lucid dreams, intruders or imposers are sometimes more assertive and knowledgeable than my temporary dream self, which confirms the (precursory) essence of the conscious mind my dream self lacks and of which the preconscious only has to a limited degree. Being near a doorway also represents being closer to the waking point in many cases (though can also serve as induction into apex lucidity and full awareness and control in the dream state).

      Checking a door to see if it is locked in a dream (or an event that implies potential intrusion) is usually RAS (reticular activating system) mediation, sometimes caused by a real environmental noise at the time of the dream and sometimes with preconscious concern over whether it is locked - as I once discovered that our door was indeed unlocked after getting up after a waking start from a similar dream as this one. This is otherwise a common type of waking process autosymbolism, which I label “doorway waking symbolism” (though remember that dreams are not symbolic in the way of popular misconception, and that this refers to the dream state, not waking life, and my dream’s dynamics in real-life context are literal here).

      Updated 11-18-2019 at 09:06 AM by 1390

      non-lucid , false awakening