Blue_Opossum

Morning of June 23, 1998. Tuesday.



I am not sure of the time but the front door to our apartment is rattling as if someone is trying to come in.

I carefully check it out and open our front door. Our (real-life) landlord is there doing something with a ladder in the hallway of the apartment house.

I say, “Oh, it’s you. I thought someone was trying to break in here.”

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A ladder usually represents an autosymbolic precursor for the return to full consciousness, which is something I clearly understood even at four years of age. The hallway setting is mostly incidental but still represents a “conduit” associated with the waking process in a similar manner as an alley.

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Either our landlord or an unknown intruder would still represent RAS personification, which represents the preconscious state. Still, as our landlord, it would suggest that I perceive my emergent consciousness as the “owner” of the dream state (at least to some degree) whereas burglars (or unexpected or unwanted intruders) suggest that I am not non-lucidly controlling my dream to the extent as in this scenario. However, in non-lucid dreams, intruders or imposers are sometimes more assertive and knowledgeable than my temporary dream self, which confirms the (precursory) essence of the conscious mind my dream self lacks and of which the preconscious only has to a limited degree. Being near a doorway also represents being closer to the waking point in many cases (though can also serve as induction into apex lucidity and full awareness and control in the dream state).

Checking a door to see if it is locked in a dream (or an event that implies potential intrusion) is usually RAS (reticular activating system) mediation, sometimes caused by a real environmental noise at the time of the dream and sometimes with preconscious concern over whether it is locked - as I once discovered that our door was indeed unlocked after getting up after a waking start from a similar dream as this one. This is otherwise a common type of waking process autosymbolism, which I label “doorway waking symbolism” (though remember that dreams are not symbolic in the way of popular misconception, and that this refers to the dream state, not waking life, and my dream’s dynamics in real-life context are literal here).

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Morning of January 2, 1969. Thursday.



This is a very vivid dream, though at one point it seems I am watching myself from a few paces south around the middle of the Cubitis hallway while disembodied; the other me looking in awe at the coat that is suspended in air (in the same area and position as if it were otherwise hung by a hanger).

I am looking at a coat in the hall closet of my Cubitis home. It is my winter coat, but it is eerily floating in the air with no hanger (though it does not seem to be worn or held up by an invisible entity at any point - the “magic” is in the coat itself). There are only a few other clothes on each side of it (but pushed to the side against the closet walls). My father is making references to this in a sort of narrative manner (seemingly only vaguely wary of the coat’s dimly glowing essence of a very pale green) as if it is important for me to learn about (he did used to tell me ghost stories in real life but I am not sure if this coat is purely “haunted” or is to be useful with its special powers). It seems to be in the middle of the night or very early morning an hour or two before sunrise. My father and I are the only two characters in this dream. I do not sense or perceive any other being.

The above childhood dream, upon present reflection for some reason, now brings back a very vivid memory of going to get my coat in the school closet in real life (kindergarten) on the last day of school, and there was one other winter coat that a chubby male student (Robert, I think) had left behind, so I informed the female teacher (“Yandell” or something like that - but I mentally changed her name to “Yardstick” in my dreams). I remember the eerie sense of “finality” and the false sense as if the coat was “hovering” there “without the boy in it”. Both the childhood real-life event and this later very vivid dream of my later childhood seemed to hold a similar mood, and the real-life memory may have been the “trigger” (though there are likely other factors). For some reason, my memories of each last day of school (regardless of the grade) seem to be much more vivid and clearer than the memories of other days, even if nothing significant happened.

See also: “Empty Boots”

Morning of January 6, 1976. Saturday.



This dream’s focus is quite ambiguous and uncertain at most levels. I am not sure of the location; it seems either undefined or an extreme distortion of my Cubitis living room relative to the east side of it. Two narrower hallways, but not cramped (the entrances only about four feet apart) go off to the east but each also seems to be a type of long kitchen - I am not sure of the distance but it is quite long (longer than the west to east length of the house I would say - although again, the area other than the hallways seems a bit undefined). Each hall seems mostly the same, with sinks, a few ovens, at least one refrigerator, and so on, with cupboards along the wall closer to the ceiling for the most part. I get the impression that there may be a television at one point - farther along. There may also be a storage area for documents near the opposite end. There is no actual plot, just wandering around. The appliances are all white. One would assume a door to be on the opposite end due to the hallway’s length but this does not seem to be the case. No one else seems to be around. There is a sense of familiarity but no clearer emotions of any kind. In reality, we only had a very small kitchenette off the southeast corner of the living room.

Relative to the unusual fictional setting, see also the following dreams:

Short dream of a house of mystery

Submarine

Night of August 29, 1971. Sunday.



A small dinosaur (possibly a young Ornithomimosaur) that is only about as tall as I am, and of which I think of as an ostrich dinosaur, is running back and forth in the hallway of my Cubitis home, trying to get into one of two rooms (and rattling the doorknobs each time), the bathroom or the hallway closet (the doors of which are on opposite sides - and near opposite ends - of the hallway; the bathroom door perpendicular to the back door and the hallway closet perpendicular to the living room opening). I feel sort of sorry for it (regarding its seeming confusion or indecision) but stay out of its way (and it does not seem to become aware of me at any point or at least act as such). There is no threat of any kind. I seem to be viewing the event from near the bathroom door though in the bathroom at one point, somehow seeing through the closed door.



Due to a particular vague association in my dream, I think this may have been influenced by an old cartoon (possibly Betty Boop or Silly Symphony; though even after extensive research, I have not been able to locate it) which showed a kangaroo going to the door of an airplane (while in flight), not being able to open it, and soon going back to sit down again, I think because of being bored or annoyed with a singing character, though this may be a false memory regarding certain details. I am not sure, as I neither wrote the name of the cartoon nor time seen at any earlier point in my journals.

It is probably relevant that this year, starting fifth grade on the 30th of August, I mostly got my school clothes from the hall closet and changed in the bathroom before sometimes “racing” back through the hallway to the living room to leave to wait for the school bus. (For the year after this, the volume of clothes I had took up more space and they were mostly kept in the room-length sliding-door closet in the southwest room - my father’s room at that time.)

(There may be a subtle connection with my “Poor Little Dinosaur” dream from 1965, from about a year before attending any school, and “identifying” with it on one level - it was of the same general size and appearance as here.)