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    1. Holographic Toy Tiger

      by , 03-14-2016 at 06:09 AM
      Morning of March 14, 2016. Monday.



      The setting seems to be my den from Stadcor Street in Brisbane where we lived a number of years ago (and in fact may actually be relevant to a play on “den” as in “tiger’s den”).

      My room seems mostly featureless though I am aware of some sort of singular holographic image of a small stuffed tiger lying on a blanket on the floor on its stomach in the center of the room. It is a little like one we have in reality but less realistic.

      Strangely, I try to bring about a tactile pretense; that is, I pretend I could actually touch it even though it is not tangible. However, I know I will feel something, which is apparently a tangible surface (of something unknown) also somehow projected from elsewhere into the same general location - or maybe it relates to expectation concerning imagination. Even so, I do not have any thought I may be dreaming. I mostly use the back of my hand and carefully move it to the outermost area of the hologram. I get a slight impression that the unseen solid surface may not be perfectly congruous with the toy hologram. I eventually have success, though - I can feel something very clearly - which correlates to the implied surface of the hologram. It almost seems to imply “real” flesh yet I also get the impression of a pillow.

      Zsuzsanna looks in through the doorway. The toy tiger hologram actually seems to move its head very slightly. I see a slight flick of its tongue from its profile. I am not wary of this though it does seem unusual, as it is supposed to be only the static projection of a stuffed toy and not “alive” or even capable of movement in any way.

      The last part seems to simply be my emergent consciousness bringing “life” into my dream during the waking point, though there is no lucidity.

      Updated 05-10-2018 at 05:14 PM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. Chat Room Tulpa? Oh, C’mon Now. FAIL…

      by , 12-23-2013 at 06:23 PM
      Morning of December 23, 2013. Monday.



      I have decided to place this dream into the “I have no brain” category, along with a much older one I have already written on where I used a digital sampling keyboard to play a special affirmation - and when it worked and I went into an extremely vivid, lucid dream, I spent the entire dream trying to find the source of the real-life sound to turn it off so that I could continue with my dream… It takes a very “special” level of futility regarding such experiences. However, I do now use certain types of audio with self-spoken special affirmations (when I choose to - I still prefer trying to hold mental states without any aid or “tools” of any kind to get ever stronger in that department - tens of thousands of times more powerful than what appears to be mostly a nonsensical placebo effect with so-called i-dosing and binaural beats, which is basically fraud for the amazingly gullible) that produce extremely precise visual and physical patterns within hypnagogic states (what people fail to understand is that it is about specific word phrasing - not a particular sound, frequency, or “beat”, which is rather absurd as the brain does not work that way - if it did, most of humanity would be controlled by random birdsong and other sounds) - something which mostly no other person (relative to commercial products), that I know of, knows anything about (other than my wife and a few select friends from my past) - which can only be a good thing.

      One of my last dreams (“Agates and holograms”) had an additional layer of composite precognition (in addition to my wife actually having looked at new holograms at the mall without my knowledge), as most do at one level or another - and is so common, it often goes unnoticed or “unremarkable” and thus not written about even in summary (although I am trying to break that lifelong habit) - as precognition and highly detailed prophetic consciousness has been a continuous day to day driving force in my life since just prior to birth. In this case, the additional precognitive element of that dream involved my brother actually posting a series of photographs on Facebook, on my own timeline (as in my dream), for the first time ever, even though we have both been on Facebook for years. One of the images was me at around age five playing with a husky (supposed wolf-hybrid, apparently) - and another, a bit older, sitting at a table with a large open stamp album. When the real-life event unfolded much as in my dream, the link did not even come to mind until later - which should be a hint as to how common and “normal” precognition is for me. It is much like breathing or food digestion in my opinion.

      Anyway, on to this dream. I appear to be at a computer in some sort of chat room (which I have hardly ever been on in real life in my lifetime), but the overall look is similar to a group-type page as on Facebook and the messages from the sender (account-holder) appear as stylized windows with various fancy writing in as opposed to just straight lines of text - although the one responding (in this case, me) sees their own messages appear as mostly just lines of text. I appear to be engaged in conversation with a younger female tulpa (I do not actually see her at any point even on the screen) regarding potential healing sessions, musical ideas, gags about “normal” humans, mental development, and so on.

      In a short time, I notice that a large thinner section of skin has separated from the back of my hand; fully, evenly, and perfectly. The back of my hand has a large and perfectly circular wound that looks much like watermelon (without the seeds). However, it does not hurt much. The tulpa tells me that if I hold the skin that came off over the wound that my hand will go back to normal in a short time. This does not seem to work, though. I have a thin white square piece of cloth by which the circular section of skin sticks to the cloth and will not stay attached to where it was separated from. I am not quite sure how she knows about my problem and do not remember actually typing such a message, and what comes next is rather futile. (In real life, only after waking, not prior to sleep, I did notice how a very small circular wound on the left side on my right pinkie was causing that small area to be a bit sore).

      A seemingly second message (after the coherent one regarding what to do about the wound - which may have come about as a result of weeding) appears onscreen that is mostly made up of “baby words” - that is - the kinds of nonsensical phrases that an adult says to a baby to “entertain” them or get their attention. I make out some of the pattern, which appears in a highly stylized window with a floral theme, as something like “coo coo fizzle fitz coo coo gooey fitz oh my goo goo foo foo fitz fizzle” or very similar. I am not quite sure what to make of this. I try to type a response, but all that comes out is random letters, apparently because my hand is wounded.

      I send about half the messages I type, but give up on half because there are too many random letters interspersed with the intended words. Most sentences, I attempt to type correctly several times over. After about ten minutes of not being able to focus enough to get any words correct, I receive the message, “Are you still there? I am waiting. "I simply cannot type because of my "injured” hand, it seems.

      So, using the ever futile “dream logic”, I try to type “I cannot type because the sore on my hand prevents me from typing”. That makes no sense, does it? I end up giving up because I cannot even get the first few words to come out correctly.

      I then spend the next ten minutes or so trying to type “I cannot type”…(oh brother)…assuming the “conversation” will still continue in a coherent or productive, possibly enriching manner. There are a few other messages onscreen that relate to wondering if I am still there or needing anything. The tulpa seems extraordinarily patient (long after most people would have went on to do something else), but then, they have to be, to serve the dreamer unconditionally.

      Finally, I decide that attempting to type and send “my hand” (hoping that somehow that message will be fully understood) might be doable. I type something close to “mjyjo hkajndjp” and send it, growing weary of the events after a seeming half-hour, at least.

      As a result, the tulpa finally starts solely typing equally indiscernible gibberish and sends a small banner-like horizontally-scrolling, somewhat sketchy cartoon of the old-style Kewpie dolls having some sort of co-operative can-can dance across the screen amidst randomly falling flower and snowflake patterns.

      The failure, overall, seems more related to my distorted in-dream hand-eye coordination rather than having a hurt hand. However, it is also as if certain keys change their letter values at times as soon as I type them.

      Updated 11-26-2015 at 11:41 AM by 1390

      Categories
      lucid
    3. Cobra in the Hayloft

      by , 08-18-1976 at 06:00 AM
      Night of August 18, 1966. Thursday.



      This is probably one of my first more precisely documented dreams over time. It was recurring and lucid in some versions. One might think this would be a nightmare, but not even close, just a sense of childlike awe and wonder and likely my first tulpa-creating attempt within a dream state.

      My dream usually starts at the Concordia Ballroom (at 1129 La Crosse Street) where my father often performed in real life. It is fairly late at night. I danced there in reality at the time, but in my dream, things are quite different. The Concordia building seems to be oriented perpendicular to actuality. There are also a lot of cars that seem more of a late 1940s style than the 1960s.

      Not only that, I end up wandering off into the darkness, yet seeing that a large barn…yes…a barn - exists just down the street a short distance from the Concordia Ballroom.

      In the barn it is semi-dark. Cobras are certainly not to be found in Wisconsin (in the wild, anyway), but there is a cobra in the hayloft (and only ever one). It is mostly black with a bit of yellowish orange. In some versions (even later on, as it got colder in real life), I wait expectantly, but wake up before it appears (almost as if it had to appear before I could leave my dream with “better confidence” - hard to explain). Sometimes it seems to be a long time for me to be standing there. No drama happens. No one comes looking for me. I do not think of climbing up to the hayloft at all. The cobra is high above in the hayloft, upright, around the middle area, and is no real threat. There seems to be a mystical atmosphere over the whole time period with similar dreams.

      Updated 07-12-2015 at 08:58 PM by 1390

      Tags: barn, cobra, hayloft, tulpa
      Categories
      lucid , memorable