Timothy Paradox

I don't recall where it started, but I took off from somewhere. I flew over what could have been dunes, or desert shrubland. I noticed a bunch of beheaded kamikazes from Serious Sam down below, so I wanted to kill them. Once again I struggled with mid-air controls a bit, things like changing direction and stopping inertia. Anyway, I landed and attacked the kamikazes. I wanted to use a power on them but I think it didn't work, so I had to kick down a dried-up (dead) tree and use its trunk as a spear. I impaled a kamikaze on the tree trunk, which was satisfying. In a later scene, I was in a MASSIVE underground cave, still flying, fighting Voldemort and his massive army of giant eagles (from Lord of the Rings). I attacked them by ripping the feathers from their wings, and causing them to crash to the ground. I had acquired a letter of sorts. This letter had to be destroyed to "complete the plot" and vanquish evil (consider it a stand-in for the One Ring). I knew it was someone's mission to destroy it, but now that it was in my possession, I figured: "why can't I do it, and do it much faster?" So I got the letter, and dove down some kind of empty elevator shaft (still flying). I smashed the letter into the bottom of the shaft, and this supposedly "destroyed" it. However, I had a part of it still in my hand, and the text on it had changed into a message aimed it me: the letter could only be destroyed at the right time and in the right place, and presumably, by the right person. No shortcuts. I couldn't just skip three 3-hour movies and finish the whole plot in 10 minutes. Someone else had to actually complete the entire journey.

One last scene involved having to make out with a girl who had questionable mouth hygiene, and a few other details I don't care to write down here.

I'm somewhere at some kind of event, it's 11PM. I remembered I had to return my rental car, but it was already too late (it was my own car, though). I had to leave ASAP. I packed my backpack with my laptop & other stuff, and drove off in a hurry.

I was smacking some bad guys/humanoid monsters using a bag (?). I was trying to keep them stunlocked so they couldn't counterattack. I was trying to protect my allies, who were following me.

Then, I was attacked by loads of beheaded kamikazes (enemy from Serious Sam). I shot at them with double revolvers, but they all hit me anyway. I somehow survived. I'd visited the 'Seriously' forums the night before. It's a fan site for the Serious Sam franchise. That explains that...

In another scene, I was besieged by a lifeform that could assimilate and possess inanimate matter. I cargo shit, 'taken over' by the strange slimy lifeform (attached to the hull) rose up to the sky, standing on its rear end somehow. I fired on it, hoping to kill the creature, but it fell on top of me and crushed me.