Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

Being chased by super-human bad guys, I feel like I'm in the matrix. Running full tilt to get away, I turn a corner and end up in the street, with a hummer right in front of me. Without breaking stride, I dive forward through the air like superman, and smash through the windshield of the hummer, landing in the passenger seat right on top of a baby in a child seat, next to its mother.

Realizing that the agents can take over the mother's body in her spot if she is too startled, I lovingly move her baby to the other seat, and give her a reassuring look. Then I help her into the seat next to her baby, and take the wheel, driving very quickly to try to escape.

Locked in a small, very dark room with my wife; I am assisting in her giving birth. All sorts of demonic shadows appear all over the wall. Ridiculous faces, ghosts, figures, and everything terrifying I can imagine appears in shadow form on the walls. Clouds of smoke and mist also briefly pass by out of no where. Just obscuring everything, and then gone a few seconds later. My wife and I suspect that she is giving birth to a demon baby. I am a little concerned about what the neighbors are thinking if they can see these shadows too.

The baby is born, and already has fierce teeth, a crazy look on his face, and solid, black eyes. Growling, it tries to bite both of us. I grab the umbilical cord, and swing it off my wife from there, dodging his fangs as he flies past me. While trying to swing him in circles above our heads to buy some time, he kicks a wall, causing him to fly toward me and land on my right arm. Before he can sink his teeth into me, I grab him by the back of the head with my left hand, pull him off, then grab his body with my right and just squeeze. This causes the umbilical cord to disconnect from him, and is really gross. Black liquid squirts out of it, and I jump back, losing grip on the demon baby. I feel my stomach turn to knots as he jumps down to the floor.

He runs around the room, free from my grasp, but still contained inside the room for now. Literally running really fast, while growling, and even jumping higher than I am tall, he chomps his teeth together like a dog, making loud biting noises. My wife and I skootch back on the bead some more as he jumps up next to it, biting the air, and looking at us. He seems to enjoy scaring us with his powerful jaws...

The next jump, I catch him, and try to kill this demon with a knife. But due to some dark magic, any knife wound immediately heals itself. Struggling to hang onto this creature, I grab a small axe that is hanging on the wall and sever the menacing head from the red veiny body. The demon dissolves into sparks and dust, crumbling to small ashes and then vanishing back out of this world.

I sit back down on the bed, enjoying the brief peacefulness of the aftermath.