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    Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

    No order or method to the madness, just random dreams that I found interesting and worth keeping track of.

    1. Epic Nightmare: Demons, Tanks, Magic

      by , 10-05-2014 at 03:39 AM (Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness)
      I watch a plane crash on the television as part of a breaking news story. The last part of the clip before they cut it shows the plane flying away from the crash site. It doesn't make sense to me, so I re-play the scene in slow motion. This time, the second plane is a missile. Both are in fact missiles. Nuclear missiles. I get on my computer and try to find the exact town in England where the crash happened, but can't find it. Just a bunch of English towns. Finally, I spot the wreckage.

      As soon as I see the wreckage, I'm on a bus that's headed right to the crash site. My mom is on the bus, as well as my good friends. Up ahead is an unexpected building, billowing with thick gray smoke. Just pumping smoke out the top of it like it is manufacturing something. Our bus stops at a gate just before this building and a bunch of men with guns board our bus speaking a combo German/Italian language that I can't understand. Through their non-verbal cues, I understand that they must search our bus and everyone on it before they let us go on our way.

      One of the men searches me, but gets upset when he sees that I'm wearing a belt. He passes me to the next guy who also finds nothing hidden. Even more upset than the first guy, he picks me up by my shoulders, and shakes me vigorously as if to get any pills to fall out my ass if I were a drug mule. Fortunately (for many reasons) there is nothing.

      They finally let us all go. I sit down back in my seat, cautious not to draw any unwanted attention to myself. I see my high school sweet heart in the seat right in front of mine and we smile at each other. Then I see several layers of cloth all stacked on top of one another. The cloth itself begins to speak, telling me, "There are many ways to love a woman." Then the pile of stacked cloth lays completely flat on the bus seat, melting into it. Seems like good advice I suppose...

      Looking out the window, I watch as we pass the building from earlier. It is a power plant that burns some sort of smoky fuel, powering the entire town around it. Set up like some post-apocalyptic utopia, the buildings are all caddywhompus, but well maintained McGuiver style. The bus stops abruptly in the center of the town, and everyone is forced off of it.

      I am taken to the front of a tank column and strapped to the front of it as a human shield for the point tank. Definitely not a safe place to be in general, let alone for what I fear is about to happen. Meat shields make me sad, but I'm happy that it's me and not someone else. Completely bound, I tensely watch from the front row of the action as a group of fighters (who I assume are on my side) ambush the tanks. The whole ridge above us seems to have come alive with machine gun fire and anti-tank rockets. Sadly, they are all killed by the tank fire and .50 Cal machine guns.

      Due to all the rough driving, my bindings come loose toward the end of the fray and I make my get away, running as fast as I can before they notice. I dart into the first building I come across and hide up in the attic. I get the feeling that ninja-assassins have seen me hide in here, and are on their way sneaking inside. I have to do something to prepare myself.

      I magically find in my hand a plastic spray bottle with an enchanted liquid inside that causes whoever is sprayed in the eyes to face their biggest fear. I test it on a nearby cat, who goes completely wide eyed, and then rigid for a few moments before moving again. The cat seemed to enjoy this, and now is like my minion. I direct it to the far corner of the room to help warn me of anyone approaching. Another cat walks right up to my face and looks at me like it too wants to get the fear spray. I spray it in the face once, and it reacts just like the first. Before I decide what to do with it, a third cat approaches and I do the same.

      I send one of the cats down the attic stairs to investigate, amazed that the cats are voluntarily helping me through our unusual connection via the fear spray. I am about to spray myself in the face with it, but before I do, I hear someone downstairs. Sneaking down the ladder, there are no lights on anywhere, just a mysterious blue glow. I step on the floor and it is really wet.

      A creepy woman's voice whispers directly into my ear, "The true test is how well you can step quietly through a puddle of blood" Quite a sadistic test, especially since she could've just killed me right there instead of toying with me like this. I see now that the entire floor is flooded with about a quarter an inch deep of blood. I get a quick mental flash back of this same woman killing a bunch of soldiers in this room using knives and dodging their bullets, and then draining their blood everywhere.

      Thinking about her challenge, my feet change from wearing shoes, to slippers, back to shoes, and then to socks before settling on barefoot as I consider how to stay quietest. Barefoot it is then... The cold, sticky blood is really creepy, and not more than a few steps in, the sticky noises give me away.

      She lunges at me, trying to bite my throat in half. I get a clear look at her face for the first time, it resembles a zombie face, with dark red slime and nastiness all around her mouth, crazy demonic eyes, and greasy straight black hair. I push against her chest and stomach to hold her back and get knocked on my back over some furniture. She jumps at me, using her teeth as her main weapon as I struggle to keep her off me. Pushing against her stomach, it turns into a dark empty void like space, but darker somehow. From this void, a second pair of arms reach out to fight me. Struggling with these, I kick at her, only to find another portal open up at her waist from which a second pair of legs come through kicking at me. There is blood everywhere, and she just doubled her limbs while trying to bite me to death. This fact sinks in a bit and I wake up.
    2. Party Takes a Deadly Turn - Ninja Ambush

      by , 09-15-2014 at 11:18 PM (Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness)
      Wandering around a busy party at someone's house, my friend and I sit down at a table. Someone brings us both a beer. After just half of it, I feel pretty tipsy and get up to walk around. Upstairs, I find the bathroom, but instead of a toilet, there is a large pond, with urine instead of water, and two people on hover crafts racing around a small island in the center. I relieve myself, and do my best not to pee on the hovercraft racers, even though they nearly splash me with urine as they zoom past.

      I go back downstairs and see a strange looking animal outside. It has the body of a vicious wolf, but the legs of a gazelle, and it doesn't know how to use the legs very well. It is quite slow, and looks like it is going to fall over. I watch as it goes from house to house looking for scraps to eat. Touched by its predicament of not being able to find any food, I ask my friend if he has anything I can give it. He gives me a piece of his sandwich. I go outside, and walk right up to the wolf-gazelle (Gazzolf / Wolfzelle?) and poke it in the rear leg to get its attention. I practically shove the food in its face, then put the food down next to it before running back to safety. The Gazzolf beats me to the door, and begs for more food. Out of no where, I pull a massive pile of food out of nothing and give it to the Gazzolf who chows down happily.

      Going back inside, I learn that my friend is the target of an assassination. I too am a potential target. He has taken off to safety, leaving me in his room where the assassins are approaching. I am given an optional task of securing files from his MP3 player by uploading them to a public server where everyone can access them, thereby protecting them from being destroyed. I just want to run, but feel that this would be very helpful. Even though I am unfamiliar with the software involved, I make it happen, focusing with all my might so I can get it done before the assassins get here. I notice a few suspicious characters that look like ninjas approaching from the fields outside, sneaking toward the house at a dead sprint.

      Running out of the room, I sense someone is just about to break through the window. I close the door and run downstairs to find my friend armed with a gun, pointing it right at me. I tell him I'll help him, and not to shoot me. Walking around the corner, I see a ninja, so I telepathically tell my friend, "There's one around the corner to your right." As the ninja turns the corner, my friend pre-fires him, shooting him immediately. I check out another nearby room and see another ninja, so I again tell my friend telepathically, "Behind you, another one with two swords." My friend again turns and shoots him before the ninja gets a chance to surprise him.