Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

I have a job where I have to cut the tails off of lobsters to sell them to people... I am shown how to do it, but really don't want to do that to any lobster. It looks too painful. I look back at the lobsters and see through the normal reality of things. I see a female lobster as in actuality a fairy riding a red dragon through the ocean. Then a male fairy, also riding a red sea dragon comes over and gives her a dandelion puff flower. They pass it between themselves using a dried cone flower, and swim off into the sunset. The guy jokingly launches a jet of water at her, pretending to try and soak the dandelion, but always misses.

Aboard a cruise ship with some friends, it starts to motor around in a large bay, doing a slow circle around it, gradually speeding up. It starts going faster and faster. Now on the second lap around the bay, it's going dangerously fast, and can't turn sharp enough to maintain the circular path. I hear the engines rev even higher as the ship scrapes on some rocks on the port side as we turn starboard to stay in the water, still circling clockwise.

Then, the captain takes us right off a 500 ft waterfall, and the entire massive cruise ship does a 360 degree spin mid-air before landing in the water below. Then a sharp right hand turn as it skirts along a narrow river just above another cliff. I turn to my friend and say, "We just did a 360 in a cruise ship!"
"So what..." he replies as he shrugs his shoulders unimpressed.

I hold onto the railings on the deck of the cruise liner, not sure if the captain will jump this cliff too. He gently floats us down the river and into the ocean from there. We cruise across a big body of water and get dropped off on land on the other side.

After spending some time amongst the thick green trees in some amazing warm weather, two friends and I decide it is time to go back. The two of them jump in and start swimming. I am a little hesitant because my new cell phone is in my pocket, but jump in anyway. It's water-resistant, so it might make it. We swim a ways out to a wooden raft anchored in the deep water. A small boat is parked right next to it as well. My friends climb aboard, and I begin to drive this boat. It is very small, just big enough to stand on, with a second story above where my friends hang on, legs dangling over the edge. It has a massive engine, and I take off with a spray of water behind us.

Driving wicked fast through the water, I give it full throttle as everything starts to blur. Our path home takes us from the ocean to a wide river. Still going super fast, everything is just streaks of blue and green along side of us. The river begins to narrow and turn a little in each direction. I have to really focus to stay in the water going this fast. The river narrows to not much wider than a two lane road, and the thought occurs to me that perhaps I should slow down. Instead, I increase my focus on driving, and manage to keep going super fast through this small river. Although it seems not to matter much because about half the time, we are in the air after hitting a small wave anyway. The back of the boat now has a giant propeller, like one of those swamp boats you might've seen, only about twice the size.

I sort of expect to start flying soon.

Aboard a large ship, watching as massive wooden platforms raise and lower just above and below the ocean's water level. People are on the platforms, having paid a fee to get up close and personal with some giant whales. With a 30 foot wide mouth full of sharp teeth, I am happy I am not in the water with those beasts.

All of the whales are ignoring the platforms, just bumping up against them as they swim around eating tiny whale food. The platforms are huge, so even though the people are knocked over, they don't fall into the water. The wooden platforms are being kept at just about knee deep in the water, rising only when hit by a passing whale. It is some sort of specialty cafe for people who want that sort of thing.

Then I see one of the whales bite into a platform, and pull it out from under one guy. A few pieces of debris remain floating, and the guy scrambles onto another platform. All at once, the whales have turned hostile and are trying to eat all the platforms. Another guy is standing on some small bit of board, and jumps with it onto a bigger board that is stuck to a whale's back and rides it like a massive whale powered surf board. I don't see anyone getting devoured, but it still seems dangerous.

Now aboard a helicopter sent to rescue the people in the water, we dip low enough so that the bottom of the helicopter is submerged. I am underneath the helicopter, together with about four women who have been recently rescued. All of us hold our breath as we go under. For some reason, the helicopter has to do this in order to rescue more people. It flies higher for a bit, just long enough for us all to catch our breath. Just when we start to dip toward the water again, one girl tries to radio the pilot to let everyone know it's really hard to hold our breath for so long. But before she can say much, we are underwater again. This time, there is a board right under us, and a big air bubble has briefly formed, giving us a small window to breathe again.

Flying out from the sea, we land back on shore in part of a large military building from where the helicopters originated. We clean ourselves up and prepare to go give an interview with reporters. Some workers are cleaning the rooms. One of the rooms is mine. I go in to clean up my mess, and see a few people already at it, so I leave the work to them. I help the pilots secure their helicopters using a small electro-magnetic tool that just has to be pressed lightly against many trigger points. My dad is one of the pilots, and I want to help him out. I hear it doing something mechanical, but don't really know what. Finished with that, I walk down to make an appearance with everyone, but am stopped by a reporter and her daughter. The reporter is talking in Spanish and tells me she specializes in stories like mine. I get her to speak in English, and she writes down her address for me to contact her. With, "Guten Morgen" I wave goodbye to her.

I am the new batman, just finishing up the right bat costume. Unfortunately, I still have white socks, drive an old Buick, and work at a lousy low paying job. On the way home, I drive through the park, and see someone getting mugged. I'm too tired to stop and do anything about it after work, and have to work again early tomorrow, so I drive past, trying not to let them see I'm batman. Both of them see me, especially the white socks and white undershirt. I park the car in front of my house, and blow up an inflatable decoy batman to leave in the drivers seat. Going inside, I don't yet notice that the inflatable batman has somehow managed to start the car and put pressure on the gas pedal, slowly driving away down the street.

I run downstairs, and get on the motorcycle to chase after my car and recover it. Going way too fast, I nearly crash a few times, and get some good air time off speed bumps in the road. Finally, I crash the bike, it launches off a hill, and smashes into a stone archway leading down to the ocean. I go air-born, and slam into a castle wall. Not really hurt, just stunned, I lay there for a bit. The butler comes out, and yells at me furiously. I see the car! Running to my car to get away, the butler is in hot pursuit.

He chases me through town, and tries to ram me off the road. I slow down and dodge him, also slowing to avoid the river and cliff up ahead. He keeps going full speed, like he is going to turn around up there and come at me head on. Not knowing about the river and cliff, he careens right off the edge, smashing his car to pieces and being thrown out of it, down a hill thick with trees.

I walk down there to see what happened to him, and see no sign of him at all. Suddenly, he appears behind me with a garrote and tries to murder me with it. He exclaims something about being a well known bad guy by the name of ___ (forgot it). I grab the wire from around my neck, and flip him over my head, onto the ground, and kneel on his neck to choke him out.