Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

There are spiders using telekinesis type powers to propel themselves rapidly around my house, stringing strong webs as they go. I chase after them, trying to clean the webs away and close doors to keep the spiders out of the other rooms in the house. One spider in particular is really loud, and is yelling to the other spiders. He's giving a sales pitch, talking about how he has found some high quality katana swords in several colors, he has blue, candy red, and black right now, starting at $1800. They sound cool, but I don't trust the spider.

I turn a corner and find myself in a coffee shop, cornered by a salesman and woman, trying to sell me their book that tells how to make thousands of dollars a day from home. I know that crap is all a scam, so I get up to leave, but am blocked in by several tables and chairs, stuck in the corner. I squeeze by, and the salesman makes an offer for me. If I buy the book for $45, he guarantees I'll get $500 today, and if not, I can return the book for a full refund. In the stupor of the dreamworld, I accept his crazy offer and pay him the $45.

I wake up briefly and notice that infomercials are on TV, so I turn the TV off and go back to sleep.

Riding my bicycle up a really beautiful hill through a summer meadow, the road continues into a cool forest tunnel, thick with trees and vegetation. I go a few hundred feet into it, then turn around to zoom down the road really fast on my bike. I go too fast, and can't stay on the road. Trying not to crash, I go into the meadow off to my right, and bounce to a stop before walking back to the road to continue on. Lots of fun!

I reach home at the bottom of the hill, and feel a sharp poke on my hand. I look and there are several small spiders on me, apparently biting me. My hand and upper arm start to go numb, followed by my shoulder. They seem to have a powerful venom, so I try to brush them off without killing them so they stop biting me. As soon as I brush them off, I notice more on me. Using a soft leaf, I brush those off as well.

Now that I appear to be spider free, I prepare to take a shower. Suddenly, I am covered with the little spiders, and also a single other bug, not very large, but with a painful bite. It is very strong, and I can't brush this one off. I have to pinch my skin together and grab it to remove it from my arm. Tossing it aside, it runs really fast. Not sure if it is going to get me again, I am quickly distracted by the several hundred tiny venomous spiders all over my arms and legs. I also feel something on my back but can't see it.

Trying to get all the spiders off harmlessly, as they bite me, I flinch a little, and probably hurt a few of them. It takes me a while, but I manage to get all of them off that I can see, and quickly get in the shower to the relative safety of the running water. I suspect that when I veered off into the meadow, I picked up all those spiders on me somehow.

Alarmed at so many mice all over the floor, a random army guy starts shooting at one of them. Satisfied, he walks off quickly. I look behind the chairs to see if the mice are okay back there. One of them looks injured, but none look dead. They are all tiny little baby mice, not much bigger than a fingernail.

Huge spiders are chasing all the baby mice, trying to eat them. I see a massive spider, holding a writhing baby mouse in its fangs scurry past me. The spiders' legs are thick and powerful looking, all covered in fur. About the size of a tarantula, but meaner and stronger looking. Well, the mouse problem doesn't seem like it will last for very long. I don't feel safe around these giant spiders though, so I walk out of the room.

The next room over, I see room mate struggling with some algebra problem involving food and supplement measurements, and the FOIL process. I show him the OIL part of it, then realize I forgot the F step. I try to explain that first step, but now it's completely over his head. I'm a little disappointed, because it's super easy, he just doesn't want to know how to do it.

I go into a different room, and cuddle with a girl on a couch. She is doing a FOIL problem correctly, and I'm happy to see someone get it. There is a TV on in front of us, but I don't even look at it or care what's on. I just notice the gentle blueish lights flickering on the screen like a strange lamp. Then I notice a giant spider on my left hand. It is a different kind than before. Thin spindly legs and a small body. Just really really long legs. I discretely move my hand behind the couch and fling it off. But it returns rather quickly, and is crawling over the girl's hair! I try to get it to crawl onto my hand by blocking it's path, but just as it takes a step onto my hand, she sees it, screams, and shakes. The spider is thrown through the air once again and we sit back down.