Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

I watch a plane crash on the television as part of a breaking news story. The last part of the clip before they cut it shows the plane flying away from the crash site. It doesn't make sense to me, so I re-play the scene in slow motion. This time, the second plane is a missile. Both are in fact missiles. Nuclear missiles. I get on my computer and try to find the exact town in England where the crash happened, but can't find it. Just a bunch of English towns. Finally, I spot the wreckage.

As soon as I see the wreckage, I'm on a bus that's headed right to the crash site. My mom is on the bus, as well as my good friends. Up ahead is an unexpected building, billowing with thick gray smoke. Just pumping smoke out the top of it like it is manufacturing something. Our bus stops at a gate just before this building and a bunch of men with guns board our bus speaking a combo German/Italian language that I can't understand. Through their non-verbal cues, I understand that they must search our bus and everyone on it before they let us go on our way.

One of the men searches me, but gets upset when he sees that I'm wearing a belt. He passes me to the next guy who also finds nothing hidden. Even more upset than the first guy, he picks me up by my shoulders, and shakes me vigorously as if to get any pills to fall out my ass if I were a drug mule. Fortunately (for many reasons) there is nothing.

They finally let us all go. I sit down back in my seat, cautious not to draw any unwanted attention to myself. I see my high school sweet heart in the seat right in front of mine and we smile at each other. Then I see several layers of cloth all stacked on top of one another. The cloth itself begins to speak, telling me, "There are many ways to love a woman." Then the pile of stacked cloth lays completely flat on the bus seat, melting into it. Seems like good advice I suppose...

Looking out the window, I watch as we pass the building from earlier. It is a power plant that burns some sort of smoky fuel, powering the entire town around it. Set up like some post-apocalyptic utopia, the buildings are all caddywhompus, but well maintained McGuiver style. The bus stops abruptly in the center of the town, and everyone is forced off of it.

I am taken to the front of a tank column and strapped to the front of it as a human shield for the point tank. Definitely not a safe place to be in general, let alone for what I fear is about to happen. Meat shields make me sad, but I'm happy that it's me and not someone else. Completely bound, I tensely watch from the front row of the action as a group of fighters (who I assume are on my side) ambush the tanks. The whole ridge above us seems to have come alive with machine gun fire and anti-tank rockets. Sadly, they are all killed by the tank fire and .50 Cal machine guns.

Due to all the rough driving, my bindings come loose toward the end of the fray and I make my get away, running as fast as I can before they notice. I dart into the first building I come across and hide up in the attic. I get the feeling that ninja-assassins have seen me hide in here, and are on their way sneaking inside. I have to do something to prepare myself.

I magically find in my hand a plastic spray bottle with an enchanted liquid inside that causes whoever is sprayed in the eyes to face their biggest fear. I test it on a nearby cat, who goes completely wide eyed, and then rigid for a few moments before moving again. The cat seemed to enjoy this, and now is like my minion. I direct it to the far corner of the room to help warn me of anyone approaching. Another cat walks right up to my face and looks at me like it too wants to get the fear spray. I spray it in the face once, and it reacts just like the first. Before I decide what to do with it, a third cat approaches and I do the same.

I send one of the cats down the attic stairs to investigate, amazed that the cats are voluntarily helping me through our unusual connection via the fear spray. I am about to spray myself in the face with it, but before I do, I hear someone downstairs. Sneaking down the ladder, there are no lights on anywhere, just a mysterious blue glow. I step on the floor and it is really wet.

A creepy woman's voice whispers directly into my ear, "The true test is how well you can step quietly through a puddle of blood" Quite a sadistic test, especially since she could've just killed me right there instead of toying with me like this. I see now that the entire floor is flooded with about a quarter an inch deep of blood. I get a quick mental flash back of this same woman killing a bunch of soldiers in this room using knives and dodging their bullets, and then draining their blood everywhere.

Thinking about her challenge, my feet change from wearing shoes, to slippers, back to shoes, and then to socks before settling on barefoot as I consider how to stay quietest. Barefoot it is then... The cold, sticky blood is really creepy, and not more than a few steps in, the sticky noises give me away.

She lunges at me, trying to bite my throat in half. I get a clear look at her face for the first time, it resembles a zombie face, with dark red slime and nastiness all around her mouth, crazy demonic eyes, and greasy straight black hair. I push against her chest and stomach to hold her back and get knocked on my back over some furniture. She jumps at me, using her teeth as her main weapon as I struggle to keep her off me. Pushing against her stomach, it turns into a dark empty void like space, but darker somehow. From this void, a second pair of arms reach out to fight me. Struggling with these, I kick at her, only to find another portal open up at her waist from which a second pair of legs come through kicking at me. There is blood everywhere, and she just doubled her limbs while trying to bite me to death. This fact sinks in a bit and I wake up.

A friend and I are chased out of a Tibetan village by angry men trying to kill me with rocks and sticks. We run down a trail through the woods, straight into an old WWII tank, shooting directly at us. The tank shots don't go through big trees, but get stuck inside, and then explode, completely obliterating the trees. The same happens with rocks that we try to hide behind. We turn and run through more of the forest, off of any trail. Two people on a dirt bike are riding through the woods opposite of us, and 100ft to our right. I quickly drop to the ground so they don't see us, but they do. The person on the back of the dirt bike has a fully automatic rifle, and what appears to be lots of ammo.

We take cover behind some huge trees. I can see through one of the trees, and notice the rifle being aimed directly at me through the tree. So I crouch down as a bullet grazes my back, burning and tearing some of my skin off as it passes. This motivates me strongly to find safety from all this chaos. My friend and I run to a rope-bridge that crosses a large chasm, but soon find that we are now surrounded, people who want us dead on both sides of the bridge.

I kneel down, and draw a symbol I've never seen before, looking mostly like a 4. As I draw it, I say something about "We will be safe". It glows a bit. I trace it again, saying the same words, and it glows more. I repeat that a third time, semi-aware that we will be shot in a matter of seconds here on the bridge. The symbol glows brightly, radiating light all over, and I am immediately transported to Hell!

Standing on an invisible energy floor in the middle of a ring of gnarly floating rocks, glowing red and on fire, this whole mass just floats far above what looks like the ground level. Lots of other flaming / glowing rocks float around, most are massive, the size of multiple cruise liners. There are stone bridges and passageways leading from one to the other. I feel safe here, because I doubt any of my attackers would actually go to hell, even if it was just to kill me.

I seem to be alone in Hell, no one else around. All I hear is flames, and the creaking of really hot rocks. It all looks quite amazing. I walk down a rock staircase to a lower level, and find myself face to face with a massive demon. About 15 times my height, very thin, his feet and hands are massive blades, and he appears to be completely composed of strong metal. He steps on me, cleaving me in two rather effortlessly. Instead of dying, I find myself in one piece again nearby this same beast. Mostly still feeling happy to be free from those people shooting at me, I'm not afraid of this demon at all. Sensing this, he walks away disappointed. I walk along a rock path, either side of which is a vast expanse of molten rock, glowing bright orange and yellow, gently undulating as it flows around. I come across another giant demon beast. This one looks like a combination of a pit-bull, the incredible hulk, and a giant boulder with massive spikes on it. This demon is bulging with muscles and thick, rough skin, mostly black, but glowing red in the creases. Kind of the texture of a massive tree with big chunky tree bark. He has big spikes on his shoulders, and lots of pointy fangs, sort of drooling as he growls at me. Since I went to hell to be safe, I'm not afraid of him. He charges me, and I just watch to see what happens. He bites me, eating the top half of my body. Everything goes black for a bit, then I re-materialize right in front of him again, just watching curiously. He too gets discouraged and leaves. They seem to only enjoy mauling me when I'm afraid.

I explore around a bit, taking in the massive mountains of glowing spikey rocks, and rivers of magma. The whole ambiance of this place is a rather soothing red/orange/yellow color. I find it pleasing to my eyes.

I then wake up to my room being only a degree or two below body temperature, and I've sweat through everything. A similar temperature perception to the dream.