Dreamjumper

A man plays an Old West guitar… or “gee-tar.” He plays alongside a small band in a typical run-of-the-mill saloon. Like everyone else in the building, they chew and wear chaps and cowboy hats. Dust covers everything. I am an outsider, (from the town, and literally outside of the saloon) riding my horse through this future ghost town. My horse suddenly collapses and I spill into the middle of the road. My horse is dead. I look around the road and town’s buildings and see countless other horses have died.

I look at my horse and watch it go through the entire decaying process in a matter of seconds. My horse is now just a skeleton. All of the other dead horses are also skeletons. I look on at all the dead horses, still in shock, holding the reigns of my skeleton horse… and tie it up to a post. I enter the saloon, the band still plays and I order me a drink to clear my head. A large cowpie jerk of a man starts shit with me and antagonizes me because I ain't from around here. Chaos ensues.

A large, full-scale old-fashioned wild west bar fight breaks out of epic proportions. All of the classic Western moves are there: man falling off balcony, the Madame’s girls screaming, some guys too drunk to fight; and on top of that adding a healthy dose of classic dream power: telekinesis. All the while the band never stops playing. Finally, at the climax of the fight, the song ends and I am left the last man standing. Exhausted, I am clobbered over the head by the singer/songwriter by his gee-tar, and he is deemed REAL last man standing.

Sleep Paralysis Wormhole


Originally Occurred - February 2003
So I wasn’t quite sure what to make of all this. I had quite an interesting experience. When I was in bed, I felt that I was astral projecting, and it felt more extreme than it ever has... However it makes more sense that I was LDing, I think my mind was just playing tricks on me, because the landscape seemed much more to me like a lucid dream… just the most amazing lucid dream ever (Because I had such an aware state of consciousness)

I had the notion I was astral projecting because of the incredible energy buzzing sensation that I was having, and it wasn’t something I had felt in my dreams before. I was light as a feather, and I was floating around my room… although I forgot to try and look at my bed to see if I was still laying there.

Anyway my level of consciousness was bizarre, because I was so AWARE… and anything I would think about would happen. Anything I was afraid of, or thought about, manifested. Like I felt a loose tooth, and got worried that my teeth would fall out, and they did. I could reverse the process by tricking my mind into being worried that my teeth would go back into my mouth, and suddenly voila! And for some reason, the thought of vomiting just crossed my head, I wasn’t feeling sick, or anything, but just the idea of throwing up came to me, and immediately I did, all over my floor. I knew that things were totally off, because when I’d look down, there was no vomit or teeth on the floor at all.

So I did some tests to see what realm I was in. I plugged my nose, and found I could still breathe, and that time was irrelevant to any of the machines that ‘produced’ it (CLOCKS, bitches!) and I even tried experimenting with the physicality of things, which was basically a fucking illusion, because I could put my hands, arms, and my whole body through walls like butter. So the more I reflect the more I feel it was a lucid dream, that I may have just interpreted as astral projection, or an Out of Body Experience. So I decided to have some fun, and jumped through the wall and made my way a few houses down to this house of hot girls, who happened to be having a party. And the only thing that kept giving me the impression I was astral projecting, over lucid dreaming at this point, was the fact that nobody could see me, or feel me…

but it went both ways because as I was trying to cop a feel on this girl Molly, my hands would just go THROUGH her tits, which weirded me out. Then I realized, I should move my intent from perversion to something a little more constructive. So I focused my energy on bringing a friend to me, and it worked! My best friend showed up, and god… I focused all my energy to try and make him lucid in my dream too so that we could co-create… but I couldn’t break through to him… I might have just gotten over-excited, and bit off more than I could chew.

This was one of first of the most conscious control of this ‘dream’ . If there was an object I wanted, or a place I wanted to go, all I had to do was basically turn around and EXPECT it to be there, and it was. And when I was outside trying my movements, I would imagine that instead of running, I was on a conveyor belt that just took me to places, and my FUCKING GOD…. That thing was the most intense thing I’ve ever been on in my life. It was like a goddamn ROCKET-SHIP. I felt the buzzing energy the faster and faster I traveled on the conveyor belt to my friend’s house. It was awesome, amazing, and beautiful, and I had to share it.

Let's All Go to the Lobby!



I found myself in a large lobby of what could be a business building in a large city. The lobby was expansive and tiles and had massively tall ceilings, even though there were many, many floors in the building. I spent some time walking the halls and various floors, as if I were searching for something.

At some point, parts of the corporate building began to merge into something of a convenience mart, but a palatial one. Finally I came to a front desk type of area and felt that this was what I needed to see, and I had in the back of my head that someone told me I needed to pick up a piece of 'legal' paper, something that looked like a receipt.

However, the woman at the desk, or receptionist was VERY curt with me and yelled at me, telling me something along the lines of "instead of being courteous, why don't you try doing the right thing?" or something.

I became upset because I was doing what I felt I was supposed to do, by filling out this yellow card. I got very angry, maybe it was the 'customer is always right' mentality, but I was furious. I walked around some more trying to find what I was supposed to do, until I came back to the front desk, and another person 'helped' me, by telling me that I needed to fill out a this specific yellow receipt paper pad... the same one I was just denied.

At this point I said 'fuck it' and had made quite a scene. I started yelling about the incompetence of these people and how they just like to yank people around, and I went over to a section that had nothing but these yellow pads, or papers and I furiously ripped them up.

As I did so, I realized that I just might make a couple people unhappy, so I turned and made my way to the door so I could exit, but I was on the second floor and I couldn't find a good way down. there were 3 escalators, but they all came up to me from the floor below, or went up from me into the floor above...but with a little searching I was able to find the escalator that went downstairs, and I headed towards the large revolving doors, when I saw that it was stacked with security, I doubled back, and headed down a different hallway on the first floor

I could FEEL the security coming after me, and since I wasn't running I thought I'd be able to get away alright, but the security was gaining and gaining on me. It was then that I realized, "wait, I'm dreaming... I can rectify this simply."

So I stopped running and stepped into the wall, as if it weren't there. Calmly I stood and watched through the wall as the security continued down the hall, completely unaware of me.

I confidently stepped out from the wall, accomplished, and woke up.

Tricking the Prankster Bear King in Space!


I found myself in space, fighting in an epic space war. I flew my own craft, that looked like a small flying saucer with a bubble top. (Spaceman spiff style) .


I did not want to fight anymore, as I didn’t find any worthy point in sacrificing my life for a war I knew nothing about. So I deserted. I "woke up" and I left the war and decided to indulge in my own explorations of space and the thrill of adventure. I flew far from the war, in the empties of space when I was attacked out of nowhere and shot down. I crash-landed my ship onto a nearby planet.

After leaving my ship behind, I explored the terrain and came across an attractive and sexually stimulating woman. I became excited and tried to seduce her. It was then that I realized the “woman” was made out of oranges and orange peels. I became upset, infuriated that somebody would deceive me in such a manner. I was determined to find out the culprit, and upon further investigation a forgettable dream character told me that the trickster was The Bear King. The Bear King reveled in pulling pranks and tricks, and that was how each Bear King was crowned: by pranking the previous King to become a much feared leader of the Space Bear Kingdom. I had never heard of The Bear King, but I didn’t care because revenge fueled my every move, so I decided that I would pull a prank on the King of Bears and Pranksters…and in turn I would become King. I was told that I was insane for thinking of trying, and that I’d never be able to accomplish such a feat, and that I would be killed.

I returned to the Bear Kingdom, royal bears lined the palace -- The King’s Subjects. The Bear King himself sat upon an elegant and elevated throne further into the palace. Thousands of soldier bears stood in line between myself and the throne. I then approached the throne, carrying a covered silver platter in my hands. I walked up the epic flight of steps and humbly approached the Bear King, and bowed. I told the Bear King that I gave up, that he was the greatest King ever. As an offering of my subservience, I showed the Bear King the platter. I uncovered the platter, upon which my penis lay. My dick was exaggeratedly huge, about three feet long and the width of a fire hose.

I offered my dick on a platter, and told the Bear King that it was a lollipop, a human treat of the grandest scale, that he had to suck. So, after having his ego thoroughly stroked, the Bear King accepted my surrender and started sucking my dick. Another bear realized that the King fellated me, and the Kingdom went in uproar. Ashamed and defeated for sucking my cock, the Bear King left the Kingdom as the crown was placed on my head. I became the first human Bear King to uproarious cheers.

Mission Accomplished: Corporate Complex Breakout


I was undercover, yet I had been walking along the streets, talking to various people, keeping tabs. I turned around the corner, and there is a man from somewhere that I recognized. I knew that this man was trouble… and "a total fucking douche bag." (very specific memory of this). He was an enemy agent

I turned around and started going the other way, but his partner was around the corner, resting on a motorcycle. Fight or Flight set in, and I decided to both. I ran across the street to a small work site, that was littered with piles of lumber, concrete, rebar and other various debris. I grabbed a big rod of rebar, and I heard a dream character yell out some advice, and told me that it was probably the best idea to get rid off the asshole on the bike.

I was already on the same train of thought as I go back into the middle of the street, and welcome the men to fight. In the middle of the street, the cyclist was circling me, and I tried a few times to shove the rod into the front tire, so that that it would get caught and flip the motorcycle, but I failed. However, after a little bit, he dejectedly left… and I moved on to the mission I was supposed to carry out.

I didn't see either of the enemy agents nearby, so I ran across the street and into a corporate complex. My mission was to break somebody OUT of the large and epic complex. I made my way, undetected, though the ducts of the building. The strange thing about this complex was that in a section, they kept and maintained holding cells, like a mini jail. I sneaked into an empty holding and I pretended to be a prisoner, just long enough to construct something, or do something.

The cell was actually unlocked the entire time, it was just merely the illusion that I was an inmate. The reason I was in the cell was because down the hall, directly across from my cell was another cell, one with someone actually in it. I monitored the inmate.

After a little bit, I left the cell through the unlocked door, and went down the hall. I picked up what I thought be a large wooden rod, as well as a nice little dagger or knife, ‘just in case.’ I had no real intention to use the knife. I went down another hall to where my destination was, an office room

In the corner was a desk with an older man with white hair and a white mustache sitting behind it. I ran up as quickly as possible wielding the wooden rod, and swung it hard over my head, and brought it down on the man’s head, trying to knock him out. The wood splintered, thin and weak, and had absolutely no effect on the old man. I swung again, but to no avail… and he called out to the guards for help.

Panicking, I pulled the dagger out and stabbed the man once in the chest… but I felt guilty about it, so I didn’t plunge it any more to ‘finish’ the job. The problem was that I stabbed him when I was in view of the guards that were approaching, so my cover had been blown.

I ran like a bat out of hell, and somehow, the person I was there to rescue or recover was with me, running with me. We outran the guards and made it out of the complex, with the guards in tow, but further behind. Out in the street I pointed to work site across the road.

Suddenly we had hardhats and bright orange vests, as we ran to a car similar to the PG& E Service Truck, with the elevated box is lifted to high places, like a telephone pole.


We climbed up the arm and into into the box, and got into character as if we’ve been working the site the whole time.

From above we saw the guards and men spill out into the street, looking around. They ran through the work site, and directly underneath the two of ‘us’ who were completely incognito… and we ‘won’ and escaped.

Mission Accomplished