Zukin's Dream Journal! <3

I was hanging out at a grad party. I was kind of sad because, in the dream, my boyfriend died. And the one before him died as well. So I really wasn't in the mood for a party.

One of my coworkers noticed this, and came over to talk about it. We had a lengthy discussion, and decided to meet up the next day as well.

This went on for awhile until we became relationship status.

At that time, I started hearing a woman's voice in my head. She was narrating my actions.

This creeped me out.

The entire dream would have reminded me of Stranger Than Fiction if it were not for the fact that I realized that this woman was also following me.

"Why are you following me?!" I asked her.

"I would like to see how my story is going to pan out," she responded, cooly.

"Excuse me, your story?"

"I'm writing a new tragedy novel. And you are the main character," she explained.

Fuck. Tragedy may be my favorite genre, but I never wanted to be the main character in one.

"If I'm the main character, can I at least know the plot?" I asked.

"Wouldn't that ruin things?"

"I think I deserve to know," I whispered angrily.

She hesitated and then replied, "You are the main character of my new tragedy novel. In which you will have 5 lovers, and slowly each one of them will die. I see that you have made it to lover number three."

"And you are going to sit here and watch me suffer?"

"Yes, to capture the emotion, of course," she responded as if this was a casual, everyday occurrence.

I stared at her short, brown hair that was done into a pixie hair cut. She was only an inch or two taller than me. If it weren't for the two men following her, I would have socked her in the face. What an insensitive bitch.

I thought about ways that I could derail her plan. My current boyfriend, who was now lover number three, was probably already destined to die.

But, perhaps if we could run from her then she wouldn't be able to witness the plot. Which would mean no story for her to capture. And maybe then she would give up.

I ran with this idea. Literally.

I took my boyfriend by the arm and ran. I was trying to explain things to him along the way. Trying to piece together the puzzle and trying to escape her view.

I decided that our best bet for now would be to hide in the back of a shop in town while we were out of her view. I predicted that if she couldn't find us then she might look elsewhere, and then we could make a cleaner escape.

My boyfriend and I ran through an alleyway and I opened the door to the back of a shop and...What the serious fuck?



It looked as if we had just opened a door straight into the world of Das singende, klingende Bäumchen.

At first, I was stunned. And then I was still stunned. But we had to keep running.

And then a rhino came out behind the bush and killed him. Just like that and it was over.

I wondered if I had played right into her hands. I wondered if, perhaps, it was actually essential to the plot that I knew the storyline so that I could attempt to avoid it and therefore cause the deaths anyways, spinning it full force into a tragedy.

That insensitive bitch.

I walked out of the strange room and back into town.

I thought to myself, you just watch. I'll ruin your story. I won't fall in love with anyone. I'll keep to myself and your story will be toast.

So I did just that. I shut out anyone who tried to talk to me. I hurt their feelings. It was hard, but I had to. I had no other choice.

The hardest person to shut out was an old friend of mine. I could tell he was deeply concerned. This wasn't like me at all.

He pleaded to me to tell him what was wrong. It was so difficult to hold back. My voice yelled hurtful things towards him, but my eyes pleaded for forgiveness.

"Zukin, I don't care what it's about. You know you can tell me anything."

I had to say something that would make him leave immediately, because I didn't know how much longer I could hold back these tears.

"You don't listen or care, you're insensitive just like everyone else and I wish you would leave so that I never would ever have to see your face again!" I thought that would do it.

He hesitated for a moment before responding, "that's okay. I will leave once you tell me what is bothering you. And then, if you still want me to leave, I will."

Fuck.

This man was determined to know the truth. He was playing right into the author's hands. I couldn't hold back the pain any longer so I rationalized it with: it will all be okay as long as we don't fall in love.

So I told him everything. He was shocked and then reached over to give me a hug. I felt shivers run down my spine. I already knew this was the beginning of the end for him.

I immediately wanted to take back all the words I said. I wished I hadn't given into the pain. I wish we had never even met so he wouldn't have to experience this fate.

I knew somewhere, the author of my story was watching from a distance and smirking. I had played right into her hands again.

I immediately knew that we had to get out of her sight. I feared that we would have that same fate as the last lover.

I felt as if she was following right behind me, smirking. I knew that she was getting steadily closer, ready to watch closely as the fourth lover died. She was ready to leech off of the pain and suffering.

Before making any impulsive decisions, I tried to plan our route of escape carefully. This time there wouldn't be any errors. We would be in control of OUR story.

We escaped to my house. I was planning on us hiding in the basement until she had left. I knew the basement well of any dangers. I knew exactly what to avoid there, and exactly how to escape if needed.

We opened the door to the cellar and...What the serious fuck? Again?



Both of us were instantly trapped in the same world as my last lover and I had been trapped in. This was creepy as shit.

"Be careful, there will be something in the bushes over there waiting to attack you," I whispered to him.

We slowly passed the bushes before an alligator emerged. It snapped its jaws at us threateningly.

"RUN!!!" He yelled, trying to prevent the alligator from attacking me.

"It's after you, not me!"

"JUST RUN!!!" He demanded.

I followed his demands and ran through the pathway, worrying about him all along. The pathway slowly transformed into the hallway of a house.

I wondered where on Earth I was.

There was a door at the end of the hallway. I opened it and hid inside.

After a couple minutes, I heard the door squeak open. It was him! He had made it out alive! I nearly screamed in joy. Her plan had failed! We were escaping and we were going to make it out alive.

"Where are we?" He whispered. The room was dark, with only a little light beginning to come in from dawn.

I flipped the light switch on.

We were standing in a little girl's room. And the little girl was laying on her bed, looking over at us - horrified.

I quickly put my hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming and whispered, " you have to promise us that you will be quiet."

She nodded her blonde head in obedience.

I had a weird feeling that this little girl was the author's daughter.

We stood there for a few minutes, debating on what to do next.

And then the door slowly creaked open. My heart pounded before I realized that it was one of my coworkers.

"...Why are you guys in here?" She questioned, completely puzzled.

"We're just hiding, we'll be gone soon," I whispered.

"From who?"

"It doesn't matter. Just promise us you won't let anyone know that we're here," I urged.

She looked at us with a blank stare for a moment and then murmured a hesitant agreement. She closed the door and left.

We thought we were safe until the door creaked open again. It was the author.

My coworker was standing behind her.

"I see you've stumbled into my daughters' room," she smirked, "thought you could run, aye?"

We didn't answer her. I exchanged glances with my partner. He looked horrified.

"Well. It looks like your actions, Zukin, have lead your partner to his untimely demise. You were going so strong, too. How unfortunate," she sneered.

Her daughter then took out a pocket knife. I lurched in front of him, shielding him from the knife.

He pushed me back, trying to protect me.

"Dammit, you don't understand! She's trying to kill YOU not me!" I screamed, still trying to protect him from the knife. I knew she wouldn't kill off her main character just yet.

He pushed me back just as her daughter stabbed him in the neck with the knife. I let out a defeated scream, devastated.

In tears, I looked up at the author and cried out, "are you happy now?"

"Quite. But our story isn't finished yet," she exclaimed, "Get up."

I refused.

"We have yet to reach the climax," she smirked.

I prayed for the energy to leap out and punch her in the face, but I was hovered over my dead lover. Mourning.

Her assistant grabbed me by the hand and dragged me out of the room. He threw me into a car where the four of us drove off.

I wondered what the climax of the story was. She said I was going to have five lovers. I had exhausted four already.

If we were about to reach the climax, then the climax would be with my fifth lover. Our love would undoubtedly be stronger than all four lovers put together, thus the fall would be much worse.

Even though I didn't even know this person yet, I knew that if our love was going to be that deep, then I would give anything for him. Including my life.

I thought about ending it.

If I committed suicide, then I would save his life.

But, could suicide actually be the climax of the story?

I knew I had two choices. I could either 1. Wait it out, fall in love with the fifth lover and then watch him die or, 2. Commit suicide and save his life.

I wasn't sure which storyline the author had in mind, but I decided to be safe and go for the second choice - suicide.

We pulled over at a gas station to stop for gas.

"Do you want anything to eat?" She asked me.

"Sure."

"What will it be?" She asked.

"Let me come in to the gas station and take a look at what they have," I plotted.

While the author her two assistants payed for gas at the register, I took a look around. I pretended to be looking for something to eat, but in reality, I was looking for anything that I could overdose on.



I hid behind the isle and opened up a large packet of pills and shoved all of them into my mouth as fast as I could. The more - the better. I didn't know how much time I had left before they would come around the isle and see.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" The author screamed and threw the bottle of pills from my hand.

It's too late for you now, I thought. And smirked back at her.

"You fucking prick!" She shrieked.

I had swallowed more than enough needed for death, I knew that for sure because I had already gotten half way through the second bottle.

"You've ruined my novel! Fucking asshole!" She stomped around before grabbing me by the hair and throwing me onto the ground outside.

Sleepiness was beginning to overcome me, I felt a sense of dread as death approached, but I knew that in the process my reasoning had been correct, and by killing myself I was saving the life of a person I would have loved immensely and otherwise given up my life for.

I felt everything slowing down and getting black as death approached - and I knew that I had won.

If the first sign of craziness is going crazy in dreams then I'm screwed.

Cut Cut Slash Slash

I was in Dread's room. Dread, Jin, and I were watching TV.

I start hearing voices.

They are voices of demons talking to me telling me that they are going to kill my friends.

What the serious fuck?

The voices of the demons tell me that they are coming. They tell me that there are three of them and there isn't any escaping my fate. They will kill my friends and then me.

I want to leave.

Dread and Jin ask me what's going on, but I'm too ashamed to tell them.

I look around the room. I'm seeing faces everywhere. They don't exist but my mind is picking up on patterns and translating them into faces.

I see the face of a burnt doll in Dread's closet.



I want to leave now.

The doll smiles wickedly and tells me that it is the first demon and the more powerful of the other two.

Dread and Jin take me back to my parent's house, sensing that something wasn't right with me.

When I come home, I find that we are celebrating someone's birthday. I look out the window of the front porch and see two little kids playing together. They are probably three or four years old.

When my mom sees them, she invites them inside. I instantly sense that there is something malignant about these children. The little girl is playing with a lighter and the little boy is just standing there strangely.

My mom puts the cake on the table. The little girl takes out her lighter and tries to light the candles.

I'm freaking out. I'm convinced that the little girl is one of the demons that the voices had talked about, and that she is a pyromaniac and wants to light the house on fire so that people die.

Everyone is telling me to calm down but I can't. I want the two little children to leave. I want everyone to leave. I want to leave.

I feel like there's something wrong with my brain. I can't tell if I am so delusional that my reality is completely warped or if what I am experiencing is true intuition telling me to leave. Nothing makes sense anymore.

After the birthday party, the little girl kills Dread and Jin. At least that's what I perceived to happen.

I run down the stairs and tell my mother that I am leaving now. I can't take this anymore! I don't know where I am going but it at least won't be here!

She gives me a strange look.

I try to explain what just happened but she looks completely perplexed.

I'm not even sure of what just happened, but I'm in a total state of disarray.

I get in the car.

But not before checking it twice.

I'm completely paranoid that the little demon boy is following me. I'm still seeing faces everywhere so I can't tell what's real or not. I catch a glimpse of a face in the trunk. The little boy was trying to come along with me.

I removed him from the trunk. He then killed my mother.

If I wasn't experiencing a psychotic break before, I was now.

I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know what was real or not. Voices were screaming at me and luring me into places. Everything wanted to kill me. I wanted to kill myself before the last demon could kill me.

I took a bottle of sleeping pills and laid down on my bed hoping it would all be over soon. I just wanted to die.

I watch as the last demon comes up to me. She has grown from her original doll size to the size of a large child. Her face still looks burnt and contorted.

I can't tell if I am hallucinating or not.

With a small burst of energy, I shove the remaining sleeping pills down her throat.

Fuck this. I don't feel like dying tonight.

I don't have any weapons except safety scissors. That'll do.

With all of my force, I stab the safety scissors into her skin. I can barely rip her skin. The safety scissors aren't sharp enough.

She laughs wickedly.

I shove her to the ground and start stabbing her with the scissors. I want to cut her heart out. I don't want this to be the way I die.

She just keeps laughing maniacally.

She tells me that even if I manage to kill her she will just come back for me again. And again. And again. And again.

She has been partially disfigured by the safety scissors but it's not enough. I'm feeling the effects of the pills. Shit. The pain began to build up and I was going in and out of consciousness while she continued to laugh.

Fuck you.

With the only energy I had remaining, I shoved the scissors through her heart. She was silenced.

And so was I.

This dream was HYPER-vivid.

I'm standing at a bus stop. It's dark outside. It's cold. And it's raining.

"That asshole stood me up," a girl remarks, pissed off.

"Can't you just teleport to him?" Her friend replies.

"Fuck, I can teleport here and there, but not TO him."

She demonstrates to her friend how she can teleport around the area.

"I don't know how to teleport to where he is," she whispers, shamefully.

"Then we'll just have to leave without him. Screw him!" Her friend calls out.

Around this time, another girl enters the scene. The two girls start walking away and I feel inclined to follow them. I feel stuck to their presence.

The fourth girl tags along with me.

It's raining really hard outside and I can feel the rain seeping through my shoes. My socks are getting really wet. I can hear the squishing of water, and it really bothers me.

All four of us girls walk into an entirely new scene. It's daytime outside and it's snowing now.

One of the first girls smirks as she looks out past the sidewalk and into an abandoned lot. The lot has piles of snow buildup.

She turns around at us, smirking, and says, "I hear a girl committed suicide here. They say she left hundreds of suicide notes and buried them in the snow. Everyday she would make a new note, hoping that someone would find it and respond to her cry for help."

We start walking over the hilly, snow covered terrain.

Before my eyes, I can almost see the sad hills bursting out with her suicide notes, unable to hold back their paper tears any longer.

"I think they removed most of them," the other girl remarks and sits down in the snow. We sit down with her.

She casually brushes off the snow from the ground and reveals a letter that must have been left behind.

She opens it and grins, looking to her friend who seems to acknowledge her.

"I should have known before," she says, grinning, "that all of this really doesn't exist."

"Yeah? And?" Her friend encourages her to go on.

"And that really, none of you exist apart from my own mind," she continues, "that I am the main character of this narration, and all three of you are just the supporting roles here."

Her friend smiles at her discovery and adds, "Except me."

"Right," she replies, though I sensed uncertainty.

A character in the dream determined that I was a dream character in her dream, and it DIDN'T EVEN REGISTER WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK.

I am now one hundred percent convinced that we could actively be senseless dream characters in other people's dreams. Because her telling me that didn't even phase me in the slightest. That's messed up.

"I think we have some things that we need to attend to," her friend adds after a moment of silence.

"Right! If he doesn't come to us, then we should find him instead," The Lucid Girl replies.

I eventually gather that The Lucid Girl and her friend are searching for her exboyfriend because he wronged her in some way. The fourth girl, who will be named later, and I are so far just tagging along.

We leave the snowy remains of the realm of the hills who are bursting with paper tears and come upon a castle almost hidden in the snowfall.

We walk through the garden and into the front door. It seemed easy enough.

Until everything went HORIZONTAL.

"WOAH!" All of us suddenly scream. Instead of walking on the floor, we are walking on the walls!

"I think it's a trap to deter wanderers," her friend announces, "if we keep walking it should go back to normal."

We walk through the next door. Gravity returns to normal, however the surroundings of this room look worse than the first.

"He's been here. I sense it," the fourth girl, who has been relatively quiet up until now, whispers.

The room is dim. It has a checkerboard style floor, but the only things in the room are a broken TV and a ransacked armoire. The television is buzzing with static. One of the girls turns it off.

The room is dim and dark. The vibes here are not only strange, but disturbed.

"He's definitely somewhere in this castle," the fourth girl adds. I can feel that she seems to be bursting with psychic energy.

"This place is a maze."

We walk out the front door and summon a ladder to access the second floor through the window, as we can't find any staircases which lead up to it.

The second floor is darker than the first.

"I feel as if he's not the only one in this castle," The Psychic One whispers. Indeed, I feel it too. There is a dark energy here. And it's lurking all around us. Following us.

I hear a strange noise coming from a nearby room. I split from the group to investigate it. The noise leads me to a bathroom and towards a drain. I watch as the drain regurgitates water and green muck.

The other girls wonder where I am and find me standing here in the bathroom, puzzled.

"What's wrong with that drain?" The Lucid Girl asks.

"Don't go near it," the Psychic One whispers darkly.

"Why not?"

"That drain reeks with dark energy. Whatever entity is living in that drain will pull you down with it," the Psychic One replies.

The two other girls listen to her warning, but not closely. The dark energy coming from the drain lures them closer. The drain gurgles as it spits up water and green muck.

I can't take what I'm about to see. I try to pull them away from the drain at first, but their curiosity is peaked. The Psychic One tells me not to bother.

I run from the room, knowing also what is about to occur. And I don't want to see it.

I run out of the bathroom and past one of the mainrooms where the Psychic One is standing.

"Wait!" She calls out, but I run past her.

I run out to the garden where we came in. I am perplexed to find that it is night time.

And before me are hundreds, if not thousands, of twinkling fireflies.

They buzz before me in the garden where the morning glories bloom on a white trellis.

The fireflies surround me. They unite as one and become a beautiful blooming flower, which takes me on its petals and floats into the air.

I fly on the petals of the flower higher and higher into the sky and they lead me to the highest point on the castle - a single tower.

I see as the Psychic One becomes alarmed at my disappearance. She runs out to the garden and another army of fireflies takes her away.

They fly her across an ocean of lava and gently set her down on a single island amongst a sea of lava. On the horizon she can see a castle. It is a different castle. It is the enemy castle.

Both of us are concerned as to whether the fireflies were trying to help us on our journey, or if they are just another curse in the castle.

Got awoken right then.

It was a little before school, and I decided try a new route to school. I was really hungry as well, so I decided that I would go by Dunkin' Donuts and get a donut for Joe and I. I got on the highway and in a few minutes I pulled off and tried to get in the left hand turn lane. I couldn't maneuver the car right and turned left too soon.

I found myself in an empty parking lot with a few trucks. My car stopped working. Great.

I got out of the car. In the not-so-far distance there was a wall with broken pay-phones. Everything was brown. I walked towards where the Dunkin Donut's should be and everything just got worse.

Everything was overgrown and destroyed. Houses were burnt and the windows were shattered. I was in the ghetto's ghetto. I heard a rustling and footsteps. Men were going in the house. They were dressed in black. It looked like the meeting place for one badass gang.

I attempted to sneak past this burned house and try to find a phone or something.

After finding a safe area with a pay phone, those same men came at me with swords. WTF.

"Here, you'll need this!" Someone yelled as they ran past me, and gave me a blowtorch.

...So I was now supposed to fight off a large gang of oddly dressed men with nothing but a blowtorch?

I fired my blowtorch at them, and the fire encompassed a few of them. I was pretty surprised with the strength of the blow torch, but it was still a little weak.

They chased me back to their headquarters. The inside of the buildings were the same as the outside - burnt to a crisp. I ran through the maze of blackened hallways until I came to a bathroom. There was a light on so I opened the door.

I found a young adult girl looking back at me. She took one look and slit her throat. Guess I came in at the wrong time.

I kept running until I had pretty much annihilated the freaky gang. I sprinted back out to the highway and rested beneath an overpass to catch my breath.

"Hahahaha hey dude we did it!" A man shouted. Two men had came up next to me. They looked like something straight out of a video game. The man who had just talked to me was wearing red armor.

"Yeah, we did!" I shouted back.

"Yeah, it would have been so much better if you knew that you were dreaming though!" He said.

"Right on!" His friend exclaimed.

"Wait...What?" I stammered, shocked.

I was apparently lucid somehow, and I had it in my mind that I was going to jump off a bridge - you know just to see what would happen. So I'm clinging to the side of the bridge (because apparently all bridges have ladders on the side of them) and I'm looking down thinking Dang that's a long ways down, so I go down the ladder a little further. A guy and his friend yell up to me and ask me what I'm doing. I tell them that I'm gonna jump off this bridge here. Right. He tells me that if I wait until July 4th to jump off the bridge then he'll video tape it. Well that sounds like a good deal to me, so I do one last reality check and find that I have 5 fingers on each hand. Good thing that I didn't jump off the bridge cause apparently I wasn't dreaming!