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    1. Confronting the Beast of the Unconscious

      by , 11-07-2010 at 03:30 AM
      I think the symbolism in this one is a little too obvious.

      I was walking down Parramatta road along where Sydney uni had its buildings and noticed a newly renovated building that I had never seen before so I went inside it. I seemed to be with a friend, probably Kynan. We explored around this newly renovated building which had clean white walls and lots of students walking around busily. We went up some stairs to a mezzanine where there were a couple of elevators. When we went into the first elevator we found it only had 2 numbers in it, and that we were already at the top one (the bottom one being the ground entrance level), so we went into the other elevator which had several more numbers (our one being the lowest this time). Inside this elevator the storeys had names, after no. 1 in which we started (its name I can’t remember), no. 2 was called “nondescript balcony”, no. 3 was called “the unconscious” and no.4 was called “the rational ego” – I can’t remember the other levels further up. A woman in the elevator asked us to choose our destinations, Kynan chose “the unconscious” whilst I chose “nondescript balcony”. Whilst the elevator was moving upwards, Kynan and I took notice of some illegible graffiti on the wall behind that seemed to be being projected in front of us faintly via some unknown light source. I was vocal about an observation that at times the light projections of the graffiti were in the motion of sliding downwards, other times they were rotating.

      Since the level that I picked came first, we got out at level 2 “nondescript balcony”. It unsurprisingly lived up to its name and there was basically nothing here that I can remember, so we went by stairs up to level 3 “the unconscious”. This level consisted of a very large balcony type area that connected to the building where it assumed clear glass walls, and inside the building there were several designated ‘holes’ so that it was also like an inner balcony looking down into the levels below us. This whole level seemed to be way bigger than the building seemed in the lower levels, and it was populated much less, with only sparse clusters of people standing around and not much noise. It had an eerie feeling of only being half renovated, with no furniture or appliances around, just empty areas with a raw, unpolished aesthetic. The only people around were from the blackwattle cohort. I also saw Mr Williams briefly near one of the interior balcony ‘holes’. I followed Kynan to a gathering of people out on the outdoors balcony area near the building walls who were playing a game of basketball, and Kynan started joining in. He tried to get me to join in, but I refused to play, and so they told me then I should move away because it would be detrimental to the game if I stood around idle in the trajectory of the players (Pat Ormsby was among them and when he had the ball he bumped into me a few times). I left them and ventured out towards the expansive outdoors balcony area where the majority of the cohort where sitting around on the floor.

      They were engaged in some sort of wildlife demonstration. All I can remember of the guy doing it was that he gave off an indigenous vibe. The only animal he had was some giant dinosaur kind of animal which apparently was brought from Japan. It was a huge saurapod kind of beast, at least twice the size of a lion, with dinosaur scales and a head shape reminiscent of that of an axlotl, slightly salamenderish, and its behaviour was reminiscent of that of a dog. Even though he had claimed to have tamed it, to me it still seemed very dangerous and scary, and if it wanted to it could easy turn on any of us and fatally harm us with just one pounce with its muscular body and a bite of its very large reptilian mouth. I sat down next to a group of friends. I got very anxious whenever the beast moved closer to us. The demonstrator stressed that its tameness relied a lot on our interactions and reactions to it.

      At one point he made everyone there sit around in a rough circle and the beast went around putting its huge head in front of each person, demanding that its head be stroked gently by each and every person. This made me very nervous because the though of putting my hand and self near its huge head meant that I was in the most vulnerable position where it could bite me if it wanted to. Whilst doing this it seemed to be in a very gentle and friendly disposition, more so with each subsequent stroking from each person. In my attempts to avoid it, I strategically positioned myself at the end of the broken circle of people so that I would be the last one who’s turn it was to interact with it. When it was finally my turn I was too scared and I refused to extend my arm and stroke its head. At my rejection the beast’s disposition rapidly turned more aggressive, and it snarled its teeth at me, suddenly looking more like it was about to bite me. The demonstrator urged me again, and I flinched and could not do it again, and the beast snarled its teeth at me again – it could sense my fear and was readjusting its disposition exactly to propagate this. I got increasingly worried that the beast’s anger would increase to the point where it would attack me, and the demonstrator urged me more urgently that I must stroke the beasts head or else it might decide to attack me (the demonstrator didn’t have absolute power over the beast, but rather he relied on trusting its generally tame nature). I finally had the courage to hesitantly put my hand on its scaly head and began stroking it, like one would with a cat or a dog, and it immediately returned to a more gentle disposition, enlargening it’s eyes once more, hiding its teeth and bowing its head – the demonstrator encouraged me then to extend my stroking to the horn-like formations it had at the back of its head, which the beast enjoyed in a cat-like fashion. I was immensely relieved at having done my obligation to it and I was now free to leave it, which I did so with haste. I woke up shortly after this feeling very relieved and unusually refreshed, and completely forgetful about where I was until I eventually opened my eyes.

      Updated 11-07-2010 at 04:10 AM by 29661