Things to Run Away From Really Fast

I'm at some sort of retreat, and I'm on a break outdoors, spending some time by myself. A van with a logo painted on the side stops at the side of the road, and I walk up to ask what's wrong. The driver says that he's making a delivery to the local Co-op, but he can't find it. I look over the hill in a couple of directions, and, as it's a dream, the Co-op appears on the horizon. I point it out to him and he moves on.

In a hall made of stone from the floor to the ceiling, Dumbledore gives instructions about the tournament. At the beginning of each round, we pick an element, and then we have to use that element in a free-for-all to tag the other players. If you're tagged, you're out of the round.

I start the first round with a more difficult element that I'm used to (air, I think). I'm mostly focusing on complicated defensive uses of the power, and I'm out of the round fairly quickly. Irritated, I prepare for the second round, bringing up a wall of flame.

I'm visiting the IT department, and I realize that they actually have a desk for me there. I tell them that I've had a desk upstairs for some time, and that I'm actually leaving the company in a week (in 2013), so they can probably give the desk to someone else. The desk has years-old mail that's been waiting for me, so I start going through it.

There's a certain type of fight that exists in fiction just to show off how overpowered the major players of a setting are, compared to the main character. This is one of those fights: Maleficent versus Dumbledore. Only... Dumbledore hasn't shown up, and I'm the only one standing in her way. I drop my hands to the side, palms up, and burn with power, until suddenly I'm Maleficent as well. (I have a moment where I go through: wand, wandless, crook staff, staff with bobble on the end—perfect.) I bang the staff into the concrete, sending up a shockwave at my opponent, and twirl the staff around into a ready pose, lime-green light streaming from the tip. Bring it.

My brother talks me into following him to a pool, but it turns out that once you've entered the pool area, you can never leave. I walk calmly over to one of the glass windows, face it squarely, and punch it. A crack appears in the safety glass. I punch it again, and again, until we're running over the roof of a park canteen/cafeteria to get away.

I realize that I forgot to post in the class discussion forums this week to get my participation mark (even though the class is over...)

I've left my glasses somewhere, but I know that searching for them the traditional way in a dream is a lost cause. "Accio, glasses," I say, and they fly into my hand from wherever they were hiding.

It's about five in the morning. The early morning sun shines onto the gravel of the parking lot, casting long shadows.

My brother and I sitting in a car. I'm in the driver's seat, but the car is parked, and the two of us are just looking at the houses on the street over.

There's some kind of argument, and idly, I imagine a spark near one of the houses.

Suddenly, there's smoke billowing from the windows of the house closest to the spark. Good job, me, bringing innocent bystanders into our argument.

I jump out of the car, shouting "Come on!"

My brother follows me to the house. I ring the doorbell twice -- come on, come on -- and a sleepy-looking woman answers the door.

I point out the billowing smoke, and she thanks me for my concern but tells me that's it's normal.

***

Later, I'm with my mom and brother visiting someone.

"We should get back home," I tell my mom, looking at the approaching storm.

The thunderstorm approaches at the speed of a semi truck, the first pellets of heavy rain hitting the ground in a continuous wave.

"Too late," says my mom, and we duck to the floor of the room (which is on the top of the house) and I'm holding up a floor mat to try to shield us both from the mud splattering into the room.

I'm at a networking event that's in someone's living room. In this dream, the very nice houses in the city are on a peninsula overlooking the water, and the host has a big house that fits everyone. It looks a lot like my house, but bigger.

---

I'm at the dumpster in our complex, and I've found a couple of really cool chairs that I could use in my studio. My husband is not happy with the prospect of dumpster chairs. I now realize that the chairs that were really nice a minute ago actually have broken lifting mechanisms.

---

I'm sharing a dorm with my mom and my brother. This is not a happy arrangement. We've just moved in, and the management is now telling us that we need to move to another one of their properties because they're renovating.

I'm arguing with my mom over whether we should rent a U-haul or take several trips in the truck. She vetoes my U-haul suggestion and says that we can make the truck work, but I say we have two hours to move and we need to take at least three trips in the truck.

A panel that we're loading into the truck snaps, and it flies with force towards my mom's throat.

Pause.

I realize that I'm dreaming.

With my mind, I catch the broken pieces as they fly towards my mom, absorb the kinetic force, and let them drop, harmlessly, to the ground.

I remember that my next task is to teleport—and that I want to teleport to a neighbour's house to fulfill two goals at once—but the dream is getting fuzzy and I'm starting to drift towards consciousness. Blearily, I think that it seems silly to teleport into a neighbour's house when it's right next door. I wake up.

---

Malfoy is sending a robot after me. It would be a physical threat, but as long as I pick it up and hold it on its side, it can't actually get to me, so that's a bust as far as evil plans go.

The robot follows me uselessly around the room.

We're in a playground, and I've hijacked Voldemort's followers by pretending that I, Harry Potter, am actually the next incarnation of Voldemort. (Or maybe I am?)

Malfoy is teetering on top of something that looks like the Cirque du Soleil-inspired stunts from Mad Max: Fury Road. He's trying to prove a point. He falls, but he's currently invulnerable.

Decorating the ceiling for Halloween, because the floor-to-ceiling decorations at the entrance aren't festive enough for this important holiday.

Characters from the Addams Family. I'm a man who has apparently gotten engaged/married to Morticia, and my character's mother comes over to harass me occasionally over what a bad idea this is. (She bears no resemblance to my real mother and is more like Moira Queen in Arrow.) My character also has an (adult?) son, who resembles Pugsley. Wednesday is still Morticia's daughter. Grandmama likes me, though.

I threaten to cut Pugsley and my mother out of the will if they don't leave me alone over this whole thing.

My black cat is being bad in the dream (and was also being loud in real life) so in the dream, I temporarily put him in the entrance hall of the farmhouse we're now in and close the door with him in there. The other cat is not happy with this arrangement, as she's also in the entranceway, and she crawls into a passageway under the house so that I can't reach her.

Adventure: 2/10
Control: 2/10
Fear: 1/10

This one's not very exciting.

08/28/10



We're speeding down the river, and I'm at the front of the boat, grinning and clutching my paddle in a death grip. Spray from the river hits my face and I blink against it. We hit a bump in the water -

We're no longer in a boat. Our group - made up of my immediate family - glides through the calm water of the last stretch. We're sitting on what appears to be an oversized crazy-carpet. It's purple.

We float past the finish line and climb out of the water. I think we placed third. We have to wait for the rest of the contestants, so we go inside a cabin filled with picnic tables.

I take a beer from one of our coolers and twist open the lid. My cousins are gathering at one of the tables, so I go sit with them.

I'm holding a plastic cup. Inside is a pet - a tiny swimming thing that could be either a plant or an animal. It looks a bit like an anemone. I'm showing it to the others and it's growing before our eyes. At one point, we're playing with it, and it grabs onto a lock of my hair (that has mysteriously grown long). It's pulling on it, but I tell my cousins not to worry, it doesn't hurt.

My preteen cousin takes a knife and cuts the creature's orange tentacles off at the root. It flails and falls back into the cup of water.

"Deanna, what did you do that for?" I ask shrilly. I take a second to glare at her, then turn back to the cup and will it to start growing. The creature has to grow roots and sprout before it can swim again.

I keep doing this until the sun sets.

Scare Factor: 1/10
Rating: 2/10

Funny thing. A couple days ago, I couldn't find the can opener. Now, I have a swiss army knife with a can opener, so I reached into my pocket to find it. I knew that it wasn't in my pocket, but I figured I could will it there.

Wait.

I reality checked and realized that I was awake.

Boring dreams ahead.

08/06/10

I wake up, hearing the phone ring. I stumble out of bed, cursing because I was planning to sleep in and order room service.

Oh, yeah. I'm staying in a hotel. I've been driving for a really long time, and I'm in a big city in the US, I think.

Where is that damn phone? I run out of the hotel room and into the living room. There are a bunch of blue-uniformed maids in there, standing in a circle and gossiping. I ignore them, vaulting over the couch to get to the cordless phone in the far corner of the room.

I pick it up on the last ring, and the answering machine clicks on. The tone goes off, and my uncle Roy starts to leave a message.

"Hey, there. We thought you'd be in town, so -"

"I'm here, Uncle Roy. What's up?"

Roy tells me that the rest of the family is in town, and they want me to come have dinner with them. I tell him, stiffly, that that would be fine. Really.

"Great. We'll pick you up in a half hour."

I try to protest, but he hangs up before I can. Sighing, I hang up the phone, wondering if I have enough time to order room service before I leave. Chances are, nothing my family is serving will be vegetarian.

I'll have to survive on the side dishes, though. I'd rather have a shower.

The rooms have morphed into a hostel-like configuration, with a shared bathroom and living space. Kitchen, too. I rush into the shower before an older woman can take it, and she stalks away, sulking.

When I get out of the shower, at least four of my relatives, all women from my mother's side of the family, are doing dishes in the kitchen. I tell my grandma to leave them alone, since those aren't my dishes, but whatever.

I'm at the supper when I realize my grandma died a few years ago. I rationalize this by deciding that the woman must be her sister (but I use my great grandmother's name).

***

I'm on a ski hill. My skis keep crossing.

I remember that I wanted to go on a hike. One of the trails leading up the mountain will take me to a part where it's summer.

I go to drop off my skis in a locker, then head over to the chair lift. A preteen girl is nervous about getting on the lift, but her family is coaxing her on.

***

I'm wandering around, taking down my posters. They all have writing on them, which is research for the high school newsletter I apparently publish. I'm worried about finishing it before the summer break next week.

The building is supposed to be high school, but it looks more like my old university campus.

I posted a map of the ski resort from the previous dream, but it's a really bad photocopy. A memory plays through the room. A teacher speculates on the source of the posters.

Potluck. Scare Factor: 1.

07/09/10

They'll never let you leave.

I'm in a department store with a bunch of people. We're trying to escape, but a malevolent presence won't allow it. A few people find an exit sign, but when they open the door, space loops back in on itself, sending them back through a door on the opposite side of the room.

I wake up, briefly, and automatically chain myself back into the dream. I'm standing in front of a set of steps leading straight into the ceiling - a dead end. I take a breath, and hurl myself into the air, over the obstacles blocking my path up the steps. I land on my right foot, spring up over a metal bar, flipping upside down and twisting. I land at the top of the steps.

There's an attic access now. I pause to imagine blue skies, and gently push the melamine panel out of the way. I stand up, and look at the sky. It's nearly blank, with a decidedly greyish tinge. There's a bit of blue mixed in.

I decide that if I fly, the dream will resolve itself. I take off into the air, fly up and up and up. The grey shifts into clouds, and the blue becomes stronger and stronger as I get higher.

A DC joins me in my flight. He has a warning for me, but I don't remember it.

I ponder on how interesting it is that I can turn into other characters in my dreams, and then utterly become the character. I land back on the ground and shapeshift. I'm Neil Caffrey from White Collar.

I wake up again, but I fall asleep right away. I'm back in the dream, muttering about dream-chaining and going over the events of the previous dream so I don't forget them.

I talk to a DC who's supposed to be a newborn cousin. She can say her own name, but is unable to pronounce most words. It's an interesting conversation.

Sears. Scare Factor: 2.

Misha Collins advances his plans for world domination. Parents do not approve.

So, I'm sitting on the couch in our old apartment in Ixburg. My dad and I are making fun of an awful movie we rented, which makes for the majority of our father/kid bonding time. Minus work, of course.

The phone rings.

My dad picks up the cordless, and I can hear the voice on the other end, asking for Jack. I recognize the voice and make a grab for the phone, but my dad holds it out of reach. Why is everyone taller than me?

"Who's calling?"

It's Misha, says the voice on the other end. My dad scowls and hangs up on him.

"What?" I say, waving my arms. "Why would you do that?" I snatch the phone away and look at the call display, then throw him the phone and stomp off to my room.

I send a text to the number I read on call display.

Yeah, sorry about that. You should probably just call my cell.

Telephone. Scare Factor: 1.

This is getting out of hand.

I was amused to note that my tag cloud this morning said "boring sex".

I go grocery shopping in the kitchen.

I'm cooking dinner for my family, but I'm missing a few ingredients. Fortunately, our kitchen is in the middle of a grocery store.

I run around the grocery store, grabbing vegetables mostly. I'm very happy when I actually manage to find some sesame seeds (which are in short supply around here).

I start scanning the items through an empty checkout, but one of the employees says she needs to help me with that. We try to figure out if we should scan the eggplant, which has already finished cooking.

I'm in the living room of my oma's old house in Ixburg. We're playing a game that's kind of like pictionary or sharades, except you're writing keywords on a chalkboard. My dad throws a VCR tape of Star Wars under the chalkboard, and I try to remember what the rules are.

"Dutch word for 'father'", I write on the chalkboard. My teammates don't get it.

ETA: Also, a Sailor Moon-related fragment. Serenity may have been involved. I don't know; something was trying to destroy the world again.

Eggplant. Scare Factor: 1.

In which Dad's driving lands the family in deep water. I think I saw this on Mythbusters once.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Give me five minutes, Dean - I just got off work."

I head inside and pull off my white t-shirt, and get changed into a black t-shirt and jeans. When I come back outside, Dean (and his dad's truck) are gone.

I call Sam, because Dean never answers his phone. He's laughing at me.

"Did he just ditch you again?"

"Apparently. That bitch."

***

Uncle Roy and his daughter, Natasha (who appears to be about three, here), are running up backwards escalators that are taking them to our family reunion. I join in, jumping over railings and taking the most efficient route.

I'm at the house, looking over the food table for vegetarian stuff. A younger version of myself is standing on the other side of the room. I go over to talk to zir*, but zie's avoiding me. Eventually we have to pose for a picture together, arms thrown across each other's shoulders. Well, the universe didn't explode, so we're doing fine.

I think up elaborate reasons as to why there are two of us, but I don't remember what they were.

***

I'm in the car with my dad and Roy's three daughters. They're all under ten in this dream. We're driving through a city, maybe Halifax, and I'm giving my dad directions from the back seat.

"Okay, now you're in the wrong lane," I tell him. "Turn right here."

The road takes us down to the harbour, and I tell my dad to turn left.

Instead, he decides to do a powerslide down the dock.


Oh god, oh god, we're all going to die.

We've almost made it to 180 degrees, and I decide to trust my dad, because he's a better driver than I am, really. I'm still gripping tight onto the seat, watching the world spin around us.

The momentum throws the car right off the dock. We land with a splash in the deep water, and I have a moment of disbelief. Seriously, my brother just totalled our last car.** Now this?

I'm searching for my bag, knowing that there's something important in there.

Found it. I'm holding a flashlight.

My dad tells me to aim for the window controls next to me, and smash them with the flashlight. Three of us start pounding away at our respective window-ledges with our respective flashlights. I stop for a second and see pedestrians on the boardwalk, watching us dumbly. The car is half full of water by now, and I hope one of them has the sense to dial 911.

I smash through the controls and the important wire. The window disappears. I help the girls out of the car, as the water has almost reached the window. I slide out of the window, and my dad is right behind me. I swim to the dock and pull an unresponsive (but physically unharmed) Natasha from the water.

Later, I talk to someone about the reason I didn't panic. I shrug and tell him that I figured someone would rescue us if we couldn't get out. He's doubtful, but I tell him that it didn't have to be true - it was something I told myself so I'd be able to function.

Sinking Cars. Scare Factor: 4.

*ILU, gender-neutral pronouns.

**No, really.

I'm checking out a gym in the new city I've apparently moved to. It's based in a university/college/high school, and membership is affordable.

A group of (mostly female) students are being led around by their female teacher. Some of the girls need to use the bathroom, so the group is collectively looking for one. They're in subway tunnels now, and the teacher is talking to a bouncer outside some kind of establishment, who won't let them in because they're women or minors or both.

I'm talking to my brother, Ben, at some kind of family gathering on a farm, when he starts quoting The Spoony One verbatim while we're talking about a game. Movie. Book. IDEK. Anyway, I call him on it, but he has no idea what I'm talking about. My cousin Reg, who's the same age as my brother, says he got to see a screening of that once. They're online videos, I tell him. What the hell.

We're trying to watch The Daily Show, but Ben tells me that we can't watch the episode because it's only on the US version of the site. I explain to him how you can use an add-on for Firefox to - ahem. Never mind.

Running up the stairs at the farm.

Someone explains to me that the farm is in danger and we have this plot going on to save it. Jill rolls her eyes and tells me to run because I'll never hear the end of it.

"I'm dreaming." I realize at some point. I blink in surprise. "How am I lucid?" I wasn't planning on having any lucid dreams tonight.

I'm going for a quick meal in Tim Hortons, trying to decipher the menu and remember what I can eat. I really want some chicken noodle soup, but I can't eat it since I'm vegetarian. I could get a bagel, but I don't really want a bagel. When I step outside again, I continue with my dream. Apparently I'm a student in some Squamish/Halifax hybrid. There are mountains in the not-so-far-away distance, and one in particular is relevant to the plot. So are the houses I'm biking towards.

Unconscious Desires to Move to a New City. Again. Now. Scare Factor: 1.