Things to Run Away From Really Fast

07/19/10

I contemplate world domination/destruction. Fortunately for the planet, I still can't teleport.

Note: As of July 21, this is no longer true. Watch out, world.



I look down at my right hand and count my fingers. "One. Two. Three. Fourfivesixseveneightnine." I get distracted and start counting off random numbers, but I'm lucid by this point, and looking around.

Dream goals... right. I wanted to go to Walmart and open a portal to hell. No reason, I just thought it would be fun.

I try to shift to a new location, attempting to bring my companion along.

I wake up in bed. Except for the part where I'm still dreaming. I know it automatically, but I still do a quick count of my fingers. The ring and pinky fingers are alternately multiplying and fading out of existance, so that's normal.

I "wake up" again, but I still know I'm dreaming. I go outside and decide to along the sidewalk at a sprint, just to see how fast I can go. I run up a hill that doesn't exist in real life, surprised that I can actually feel a physical drag slowing me down.

I consider the possibility of using running as a reality check.

Fragments: I'm driving a Bentley. I'm either Crowley or Aziraphale from Good Omens. Something about one-ways and suburbs. Or maybe that's Suburban (the truck). I can't read my writing.

I find my keys. They're hanging from the doorknob of my bedroom.

False Awakenings. Scare Factor: 1.

I wake up. My keys are still missing. Damn you for giving me hope, Id.