Krista's Dream Journal

Dream - Lucid

I was in what seemed to be high school choir again, on what seemed to be an island, though there were many other islands around too. It was covered in short, bright green grass, and some grey rocks. It was daytime, and the sky was clear and blue.

We were rehearsing for the variety show on this island. My choir teacher was showing us the choreography she wanted us to learn for the show; we were all grouped up, and she was in front of us. She did some jumps and dance moves, but she went over it all very quickly.

We then were left to practice on our own. We all gathered in a circle around the edges of the island, and we started to do the routine. There was then a full-sized T-Rex in the middle of the island, but it was one of the students; his part in the show was being a T-Rex. It scared me at first, but we all ran around his feet and repositioned; it was all just part of the show. He then turned into Godzilla, and was much more threatening that way. Again, it was part of the show. I feel like we ran through this sequence a few times. I found myself trying to go over the choreography in my head, remembering one move after the other.

I then figured out I was playing the part of a saber-toothed tiger, though, unlike T-Rex boy, I didn't transform, but I was merely acting like a cat, or, I guess how I would imagine a saber-toothed tiger would act. I was also supposed to be the T-Rex's girlfriend as the saber-toothed tiger. Alright then, I could do that. I got down on my hands and knees, and walked around. I went over to some edge away from everyone else, sat down, and meowed. I was trying to play the part well. I thought about myself acting, making facial expressions to match the mood of the show.

We then went back to the beginning of the show to rehearse some more. I now wasn't quite sure where I was supposed to be. The T-Rex guy said I needed to stick by him, but I got in the circle around the edges of the island again anyway. I had a feeling I had taken someone's space, though I didn't think we had assigned spaces yet. Oh whatever. I wondered if there were any solos in the piece of music we were doing.

I then remember being atop a ledge on the island, overlooking the circular part, with T-Rex guy. We walked around a bit, I remember us being in a small cave for a little while. He was telling me he liked being Godzilla better than the T-Rex. He started to remind me of my IWL pen pal, Gabriel.

I was then running back onto the circular part of the island with everyone else. I remember running over some light grey rock, and thinking about how exciting it was to be back in choir and performing.

Dream - Lucid

I was in what appeared to be a cave system, but it was supposed to be at the restaurant I recently quit. The manager was evil, and was turning all the employees into zombies. I refused to let that happen to me. As the zombie workers tried to attack me, one by one, I fought them off. I remember them having red, glowing eyes.

~

I was asleep on our neighbor's front porch, underneath my sleeping bag. It was nighttime. I rolled over, and the door opened. Lisa (the neighbor) checked on me, and then went back in. I rolled back over. I wondered how I was sleeping out there and not being freezing cold.

I then remember going inside, I guess it was time to get up. The sun was just starting to come up. Lisa came down the stairs. Something about the cat needing to go outside.

Then, I was sitting on the porch with Lisa and her husband, Steve. One of her sons, Kael, was there briefly as well. He walked up to us for a little bit. He was smiling and gently swaying from side to side.

An owl then flew by, and I held out an orange prescription bottle of assorted pills, one Lisa had put together, of some antibiotics and antidepressants. The antibiotics looked like some I took last year IWL for an upper-respiratory infection. They were large green and blue capsules. The owl landed and took a beakful of the pills, and flew away. Apparently, Lisa did this all the time, fed the animals pills. It was supposed to help them. I was worried, though, since the owl had taken so many. He took quite a few of the antibiotics, which I felt like we needed for some reason. No one else really seemed all that concerned.

Spoiler for Expicit content:

Then, it was just me and Steve. On the street, lots of prostitutes filed out of a car. I thought about their jobs for a second, how it must be hard for women to go to work, knowing strangers are just going to fuck them all night. There was a girl who Steve wanted. She told him to take her in the ass. He pulled back her panties and did just that, right there where the street met the front yard.

Then, we were back on the porch. He was smoking a cigarette, and was surrounded by the empty orange pill bottles. I picked one up, took out a pencil, and wrote "STFU" on the white label, and put it down next to him.
"What did you write?" Steve asked.
"Shut the fuck up," I said, and stormed away.

I came back a little later, and that particular bottle was gone. I assumed he got angry and threw it (IWL he has a pretty bad temper).

I was then at home, standing in my mom's office with my mom and my brother. They were on the other side of the room. I opened up the farthest left window and looked out. It was a grey, overcast morning. My brother then said
"It smells like smoke in here."
I then replied with
"I didn't smoke, Steve was smoking a cigarette," or something like that.
He then came back with
"No, not cigarette smoke, weed smoke."
I then turned all defensive and said
"I only had one hit! I'm not even that high!" though I don't remember smoking weed in the dream, unless it was sometime when I was on the porch with Lisa and Steve.

~

I was in a room with lots of people. A man who looked kinda like a guy I knew from my college Swing Dance Club, Alan, came up behind me and gently put his arms around me. I hugged his arms back. I was very comforted by his presence. I was very happy and content being around him, being held by him. At one point, he whispered "I love you" to me. I think he thought I was asleep. I'm pretty sure I said it back. "I love you, too."

I was then sitting on a hospital bed, in what looked like a hospital room. The walls, floors, and sheets were all white. Sitting on two chairs in the back of the room were my old boss from the restaurant in the first dream, and a big, tall black guy who looked kind of like a guy I went to school with when I was younger, and Kenan from the show Kenan & Kel. My old boss asked me
"So why were you in the hospital...?" She named off a few mental illnesses that could have put me in.
I said
"My depression got really bad." A vague statement.
She then said
"Oh I understand, my son deals with that sometimes," and she patted the guy next to her on the back.
I was then handed a form I had to sign. Something on it was highlighted in yellow. I also remembered I didn't have a doctor's note, but no one asked me for one.

As people walked by the room, I scanned for the guy from the beginning of the dream, but I couldn't find him.

I then was following one of the girls I used to work with down a long hallway. She explained to me that since I'd been gone, they had done some renovations, so everything was located in different places now. She then told me that I either need to stay or quit, and to not do what I did again.

As I was walking, I realized that I had no idea how or why I had come back here; I quit for a reason. But I kept on walking.

Then, I was heading to a huge auditorium with quite a few other people. I still couldn't find the guy. The leader of the group couldn't quite decide which way the auditorium was. There were two, actually, and we needed to be at a certain one. We finally decided on one of them, and walked in.

There were blue, auditorium-style seats in the audience and on the stage. The ones on the stage went up very high. We filed in the ones on the stage and sat. I was scanning the room for the guy that held me, wanting to find him again. I scanned in the rows of guys, who all appeared to be in tuxes, but I couldn't find him. I saw one that looked kind of like him with a blue baseball cap on, but it wasn't him. All I could remember about the guy who held me, besides what he looked like, was his last name being "Creech"; I had no idea what his first name was. I remembered this from seeing it written down somewhere.

We were all then watching the opera class rehearse for a show. We were watching from the audience seats now, as they performed in the stage seats. Their costumes were all farmer-ish; one girl looked kind of like she was supposed to be Little Bo Peep.

I then heard my old choir teacher from high school yell out that she needed to see me and Zach, a guy I was in band and choir with in high school. We got up and started to walk upwards (we were in the stage seats again). I then noticed Zach and I were wearing our old high school marching band uniforms, and everyone else was in my old college's marching band uniform. I felt silly, still being in my high school uniform. I guessed it was because we came in late, and had to wear some kind of uniform.

When we got to the top, my choir teacher talked only to me, and not Zach at all. She said, with a plastered-on smile, as is the norm for her IWL,
"Don't do what you did again. If you're going to quit, then quit. If you're going to stay, then stay. There are plenty of other people who would like to be up there."
Inside, I was very upset that she was saying these things to me. I have depression, and it got really, really bad, and that's why I left. She then asked,
"Can you do that for me?"
I said
"I...I don't know."
I was crying at this point.

I then walked away, planning on just removing my uniform and leaving, never to come back again, when I remembered I wanted to find that guy, "Creech", again. I turned around to go back. People were filing out of the auditorium, including the farmer-dressed opera members, who were talking about singing. I scanned the line for Creech, but couldn't find him.

I then ran into the girl that led me down the long hallway. She said if I was going to quit, to hang up my uniform. Sigh. I didn't even want to give them that.

I was then in the back, and there were some fat, ugly girls in full-length black choir dresses. They were apparently on the "sidelines" of the choir, so to speak; if I quit, one would get to sing. I remember one with curly hair and glasses talking about it. I took off my uniform (no longer the band uniform, though I'm not sure what uniform I was wearing), and was wearing clothing underneath. One of the girls took off some chunky light brown sandals, and asked where her "wide shoes" were. I put on the sandals she took off, first making sure they weren't the "wide" shoes; their size said something like 7/6 or 7/8, but no "W" to indicate that they were wide. They were kind of wide on my feet, but fit well otherwise. I knew that one of the girls was excited to sing; they seemed very happy, and were going on about it.

I was then walking back down the long hallway, free of my uniform. I felt lighter without it on. I looked down at the light brown sandals as I walked.

I was then behind the counter making a sandwich for a little girl. As she came up to me, I didn't say anything. She spouted off her order. I cut the bread pretty easily. This was what I had signed up to do, not run around and do some weird choir thing too; I was supposed to be making sandwiches! But I realized that I didn't want to be there either. I started putting some gloves on; they were small, and hard to get on my hands. I debated just walking out.

Oddly enough, I loved choir in high school, and would love to be in a choir now if I could.

The sandwich job though, I fucking hated it. Just for the record.

Dream - Lucid

I was auditioning for some choir class, and the teacher, a woman, wanted us to do something crazy and dangerous before we could get into the class. I wasn't gonna do anything but sing for my audition; that was just overkill for her to ask us to do anything else. If that meant I couldn't be in the class, then so be it. I saw a girl stand in this one spot to start the audition.

~

I was in a basement sitting at a round table with some people, Rachel T. from high school being one of them, and Jake may have been there too, I'm not sure. I don't remember who else was there. We all had baggies of weed. I had a very tiny amount in mine, Rachel had a ton, and whoever else was there had a bag with a ton.

Then, all the sudden, I'm talking to my mom, who's freaking out. Apparently, the basement had partially caught fire. For some reason, in the dream, I pictured the inside of a car partially blackened from a fire, like it wasn't the basement, but a car. It was nighttime outside around the car.

No one got hurt in the fire or anything, but my mom was freaking out nonetheless, more so about the weed. She said, through tears,
"I thought you quit doing that stuff!"
I said
"I still do it sometimes," and I was thinking to myself that I did it once a month, but I don't think I told her that part.

Then, we were in the basement again, the same people, the same situation. I thought about asking Rachel T. for some of her weed, since she had so much, and, since we were hanging out, maybe we were good enough friends to where it would be ok. I decided not to, however. I saw her putting the weed she had dumped out back into the bag.

Someone was then lighting up a pipe, and, out of the top of the bowl, I noticed something molten, like lava, was about to drip out onto the carpet. I told whoever it was to be careful, and then saw it drip out onto the carpet. A small, glowing, orange spot was then on the carpet, and I feared the basement would burn again.

I was right; the same thing happened again. Only this time, it was like I was in Minecraft, and all the sudden, I was floating around through tons and tons of lava blocks like I was in Creative Mode. I was afraid I was going to die, but I wasn't even getting hurt. I saw lots of lava and stone blocks, and lots of fire as well. It was like I had gone underneath the basement, and was trying to fly back up. It was weird.

~

I was at my old college, standing outside one of the restaurants, one I worked at very briefly. It was very bright in the room. I saw someone standing around the register area on the other side of the counter, a woman, reviewing an application.
"You are the best person for this job," she said to another girl. The girl, who was standing by the side door, I think, was very excited. They told her to come back there. I could barely watch; I hoped they didn't recognize me there.

I then ran through the side door and behind the counter. I guessed they were closing; it appeared as if they were shutting down. Everything seemed neat and clean. There weren't many people back there, I think, actually, there was just one girl that I remember working with. She wasn't in uniform, she was wearing jeans instead of black pants, and she looked quite a bit more mature and calm than how I remember her. She was doing some cleaning. I only got a brief glimpse of her, however, and then, I ran out an opening on the other side that doesn't exist IWL.

~

I was playing some game that appeared to be, upon first glance, a Roller Coaster Tycoon game. The game was set at nighttime. I was building a coaster that had a huge, steep hill, and then a drop. I built the hill extremely high, I think the game said it was like 100 meters high.

I then was picking people to ride my coaster, from what looked like a Minecraft inventory. No one had names, but they were named by their occupations, and the images in the spaces in the inventory were close-ups on their faces. I picked a few people, and started the ride. I watched the cars go up and up and up, into the blue sky and clouds, even though it appeared to be nighttime. I was nervous, as if I was actually riding the coaster (IWL I'd be freaking out at the extremity of the height, though I do love roller coasters).

As soon as the cars started to go over the hill, a bunch of them disconnected and flew off. Only the first one or two made it to the end of the drop, and then, the end of the ride. Oops. I guess the drop was too fast or something. I watched a car fly off into the distance, heading towards a mountain. I then got a notification in the top left corner of my screen, saying that part of my coaster crashed or malfunctioned, something like that. I then was on the inventory screen to pick more people to ride the coaster. I remember picking "Doctor", whose image was a close-up of the light thing they used to wear on their heads. I remember lots of white in the picture. I picked a few more, but can't remember exactly who they were.

~

I was listening to myself talk to a psychiatrist, but I wasn't in body, nor could I see myself or the psychiatrist. I felt like I was in the office at some point. My view kept looking around as I listened to myself talk. I was trying to explain to the psychiatrist that I've always tried to do things right and avoid getting into trouble, and that I did this ever since I was a child in school. At first, she didn't understand what I meant, and repeated back to me a false assumption. I had to re-explain it to her. My view was then of a Minecraft cave, with some very shiny, silver blocks with a curved, spiky-looking pattern on them. I was excited for some new materials to mine, some that I had never seen before.

Dream - Lucid

I was in what looked like my 11th grade English classroom. The teacher handed us back a test that we had been working on before, but hadn't finished. I started to pick up were I left off as I talked to the girl sitting beside me.

Then, I figured out I had a choir concert that night. One of the girls in the class, a black girl with pretty, short hair said she wasn't going to the concert and that she hadn't been to any of them (apparently she was in choir too). I couldn't decide if I wanted to go or not.

Then, I was in my car, driving down the road one of my good friends lives on. Her neighbor, Nick, the first guy I ever had a crush on in waking life, was outside by the mailbox. He had his back turned to me. As I drove by with him on my right side, I slowed down, reached my hand out the window, and touched his back, kind of rubbing it to get his attention. I noticed that his green shirt was very soft. I then kept driving down the road. I didn't look back to see if he turned around or not.

I was then at my house in the kitchen, debating on whether or not to go to the choir concert or not again. My mom was all dressed up and ready to go. I then noticed the time. 7:30pm. The concert had already started. I told my mom I wasn't going to go, and that it was ok for me to be missing the concert. She said something, but I can't remember what.

I was then in my room on the phone with Nick. He was trying to tell me about his memoir that he was apparently writing. I was listening, asking him where I could find it to read it and such, when I got interrupted by my brother. I told Nick to hold on and for my brother to go away. I then got back on the phone and kept listening to Nick. The interruptions kept coming as soon as Nick would get going telling me about his memoir. I kept having to tell him to hold on. I felt really bad; this had to be getting annoying for him.