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Feb. 16, 2003:
I had some dreams I really don't remember,except that they weren't nightmares. Then I had dreams about woods, but they were nice dreams. Then I had a dream about a puppy. It was sort of scary but the end was happy, so it doesn't qualify a nightmare.
Then I had a sort of semi, psuedo-nightmare, but the puppy was still involved... hmm... oh well.

In my dream I was walking through the woods. They were more like deciduous woods, though. Not sure if they were Florida woods at all. I embraced a tall man with light brown hair. I can't remember what color his eyes were, or if they had a color. All I remember is saying "I remember you" and asking him his name. He wouldn't tell me his name

Then there was the dream about the puppy, I don't remember much except that the puppy was going through a temple to save some people, and in the end the puppy managed to save them. It was smallish, sort of like a terrier, with silvery black fur, only it had floppy ears. It was a VERY cute puppy, though.

Then I had a dream I was in a car with J following another car through some sort of theme park, and his brakes gave out. Somehow, though, we made it through that alive, mostly because the guy in front of us used the back end of his own car to slow us down (everything was mostly downhill so we would have kept gaining speed). The guy was NOT pleased that he had to total his car, but... hey... we didn't die.

Original journal entry dated Sept. 10, 2002:

First part is unrelated to the second, they just kinda faded into each other - I was with my family, only it was with my uncle I's extended family. My brother was there, but in the dream he was a little sister instead of a little brother. I dreamt we needed gas, but first we stopped at this one restaurant, and there were lots of badgers inside, and I talked to a waitress who was a friend of my mom's, she was complaining about her hours. Then I went with my family, we needed to get gas, for some reason they were filling up cereal boxes with it and carting them around, I told them this was really really stupid and they told me to either shut up or walk, so I got out of the car and started screaming at them and threw my box away, and made my brother/sister get out too. Then their car blew up. And Melissa Etheridge, in the guise of Alice from The Brady Bunch, came and saved everybody and gave my brother and I a ride home in her truck.

Ok, it's funny when I write it down, but in the dream I was very, very angry and upset and screaming at the top of my lungs. I hope I wasn't yelling in my sleep again.

There was a vaguer dream slightly beforehand but I don't know if it belongs with the one I'm about to describe. It was... sky-rides. You know, like the buckets that go along those lines, between the poles, and people sit in them... sort of... yeah, me and mom and my aunt and uncle were riding those, I think it was on the way to the tour... they were almost like a monorail but hung upside down on the line and they were open to the air.

Then the nightmare, less angry and family-oriented and far more creepy. I had a dream that mom and her friend, for whatever stupid reason they had, decided to go on this one tour with my uncle K and aunt L. It was through something called "The Basement", a really big haunted region, and it was supposed to be this awesome, scary tour, with the catch that all of the haunted stuff was real. Actually, "The Basement" was only a section of the total area, there were other places with names like "The Attic" and stuff, but I forgot the names, and they were pretty minor areas compared to The Basement anyway (it was the biggie). So we got split up from aunt and uncle and lost our tour group, and it was all grey and misty and totally deserted, and I was scared shitless. Mom told me that she went on the tour a long, long time ago with my dad and she didn't see any ghosts, really, except for one that bit her on the top of the head, except that was at the Carnival, which was a ways off. Lori Beth only seemed mildly disappointed that we hadn't seen anything so far. I was wishing that I could magically and instantly teleport right out of the place, since I was terrified and I hadn't even actually SEEN anything. Mom told me that if I got really scared I could go and find my uncle, since he was some sort of weird anti-ghost void type person (i.e. could repel ghosts). We were getting closer to this one old house type place and my mother's friend was debating whether or not we should go inside. I personally didn't want to go anywhere, much less any place that looked that ominous. It wasn't the usual Victorian mansion, more like an old farmhouse but a very large one that a richer family would own (like a plantation house only not so, you know, Southern or elaborate).

Then I woke up absolutely terrified

Nov. 19:

Dreamed I was sharing an attic bedroom with a roommate, but there wasn't enough space for both of our beds. She'd already set hers up, and I was trying to explain that there wasn't enough space and I didn't have anywhere to sleep, but she just told me that was my own problem.

Dreamed I had a pet ball python but forgot to get it a heat rock or food. It was living in a tupperware bin, and I fed it hot dogs. Mom had the car, and wouldn't let me use it to drive to Petsmart, but she wouldn't take me either. I was worried that my snake was going to die. Mom said that, instead, she was driving to a different city to return a keyboard she'd bought (because it sucked). I'd bought the same model and asked if I could go with to return mine as well. She still refused to stop at Petsmart.

Nov 20:
I can't recall my dreams. I have a vague impression that they involved cars.

Original journal entry dated July 7th, 2002:

A lot of people, including me, were going to this one medieval fair thing, and we all had to dress up and stuff. It was really more like a medieval fantasy deal so I was dressed up as a wizard, or something. Anyway, there was the outer fair, which was free, and then the inner fair with all of the special events was behind a wall, and you had to pay a lot of money to get in. I had a sort of miniquest thing where I had to collect various issues of Dragonball, except that I kept getting the same issue over and over again, and it was very frustrating. There was this mad scientist type guy who lived in a tower and he had an issue I really needed, but in return for giving me the issue I had to live there forever. So I figured I'd take the issue, and then run away. Then S__ and everybody else wanted to go to the inner fair and left me behind because I didn't want to pay that much money. A group of people and I tried to sneak in by crawling along the rooftops to get over the wall, but for some reason the old principal from Highschool was chasing us, and we had to get down and hide. So finally, I gave in and bought a ticket, although the real reason for it was sort of different, because in my dream I had this boyfriend (and hell if I remember what he looked like, it was just one of those things that you know when you're in a dream) and I knew this one other girl was after him, and it sort of pissed me off. I got into the fair and she was hanging all over him, and I got mad at another friend of mine for not doing anything about it since he was supposed to be my friend and look out for me. Then the dream sort of shifted and I had to enroll in a school there, and in order to do that I had to get the old crazy scientist guy's signature. So I got it and went to the highschool and tried to enroll but it turned out that I had to go and get the principal's signature too and fill out a form to enroll, and he had the forms, and his office was in the fair, and it was too late to go there because it was closed. But I was allowed to go to all of the classrooms and decide which classes I wanted to take. I went to the language class because a language class was required, except they didn't have spanish, they only had japanese, and I didn't know anything and didn't have a text book. And then I did something wrong I think, and the teacher made me stay after class and said I couldn't leave the classroom until she told me to. For some reason it was then that I realized that I was not wearing any pants at all, but merely had my Star Wars comforter wrapped around the lower portion of my body, and I thought about how silly I must have looked and how drafty it was. In any case, the teacher had to leave to do something, and I got bored and left the classroom anyway because I wasn't supposed to, and some kids started bullying me and took my backpack, so I got mad and beat them up. Then one of the other teachers came along and I got in a lot of trouble, but everything was cleared up and they let me go. I was waiting for my ride, but didn't see the car anywhere, and then wondered if my ride really WAS there but I didn't recognize the car...

...then, for some reason, I was at my grandmother's house. Except it was more like a church, and had pews, but they were all lined up in front of a fireplace. We were supposed to be singing hymns and she got mad at me because I kept interrupting. Then she made everybody move and rearrange themselves on the pews, and I got in trouble for goofing off because I was playing with a raisin.

I had a LOT of trouble falling asleep, possibly due to weaning myself off of decaf (which still has a very small amount of caffeine in it).

I dreamed I was roaming around Seattle, only Seattle had grown to the size of New York and a lot of the buildings were in ruins. I was on my way somewhere with my brother and mother and traffic was so heavy that we couldn't get onto the main road at all... it just didn't let up. We were in a parking lot and mom announced we were leaving, but she and my brother left without me.

I had a black pickup truck, though, and I tried to drive that out of the parking lot. I ended up driving into an area that was nothing but steep inclines and loose gravel, and I couldn't keep my truck from sliding all over the place, so I got out of it and slung it over my shoulder so I could try to climb up the hill.

The whole place (which was inside of an alleyway) was full of archaeological digs, but they were all digging up stuff like old dog tags and license plates. I accidentally blundered through one of the digs and then found my way in through some tunnels to a hidden homeless shelter. I asked a woman there how to find my way back onto the street and she told me I had to navigate back through the dig site, or through the building we were in, which was full of labyrinthine hallways.

I decided this sucked and did a non-lucid rewind back to the parking lot. This time, I got into the truck with mom and my brother BEFORE mom pulled out of the parking lot.

Things got blurry. I was no longer in a truck, I was in a white car with a broken window. My friend A__ was driving. It was difficult for him to drive and steer because one of the wheels was missing a tire. I had a large kitchen knife with me, and I had it in my hand and was dangling it out the window. Part of the road was made of paper, so I was running the edge of it along the road.

I thought maybe that wasn't a good idea, though, so I hid it under the car seat as we passed a group of squad cars. Suddenly, everything was dark, like it was nighttime, and we were explaining to the cops what we were doing in the parking lot.

I was no longer with A__. I was with the Doctor from Dr. Who and we were running through the city on some sort of mission... I don't remember. I woke up.

Practices: ADA, Mindfulness, WBTB, DEILD
While falling asleep, mantra: "I am aware"

Dream #1 - I am with my friend, R__. She's driving a car - one belonging to one of my relatives, according to my dream-memory, but in real life none of them own a gray minivan. We're driving around a mall parking lot. We can't seem to find a parking space. She accidentally hits another car while pulling into a parking space, and I cringe at the sound, but she's more angry about it than worried. She decides to try to use a note left on her windshield to explain why she parked in one of the restricted parking spots, by claiming she can't walk that far, but I don't think that will hold up under scrutiny. She finally gives up and parks pretty far away from the mall entrance. We can see it from where we are, but it's quite a walk.

I briefly wake up from the dream and try to carry my awareness with me into my next dream, using my mantra.

As soon as the dream reforms, I am instantly lucid. I'm inside of the mall from the previous dream, but R__ is gone now. The lucid dream has the crystal clarity characteristic of my lucid. Since I'm not outdoors (unusual), rather than the usual sweeping landscapes and storm-swept skies, instead the architecture inside of the mall is extremely grand. Super high vaulted ceilings, probably 80-100 feet high, with graceful arches carved out of solid pale pink marble and golden inlays. Intricate carvings and sculptures. White marble floors. The whole thing looks more like the inside of a cathedral than a mall.

I look around and think, "This is definitely a dream". I inspect my hand - it's perfectly formed. I do a reality check by trying to push one hand through the other, but I can't. I shrug it off - I know I'm dreaming. I try to fly, and hover in the air above the crowds milling around the mall. My lucidity tends to fade very quickly while I'm flying, though - there's something about not having my feet on the ground that does that. So I land, and then crawl on the floor and inspect the marble tiles. There's grime between them and they feel a little gritty - this place needs to be swept and mopped.

I decide to go treasure hunting. I reach into my back pocket - for some reason, I'm wearing a skirt with pockets - and feel around for a map. I feel crumpled paper and tug. I pull out a sheet of notebook paper, folded in half several times, and unfold it. There is a map on it, scribbled in blue pen, but I can't read what it says. It also has little pictures. I decide that I need to go find a dream character who CAN read it, and if I'm going to treasure hunt, I'm going to do it in style - which means having a whole group of treasure hunters with me. I run my hand along the wall as I walk.

I walk toward the food court - well, an archway I have decided is the food court. The floor slopes downward between it in a ramp, heading underground. I can see tables in the distance. I decide that's kind of boring and want it to be something more exciting. As I approach, it morphs into a Viking style beer hall. I'm pretty satisfied - this is definitely more fun.

I enter the beer hall, which is smokey and full of warriors eating and drinking. There is an empty space in the middle with a fire-pit that looks like it's used by entertainers - wrestlers, musicians, etc. The benches on either side are elevated on steps, sort of like bleachers, so everybody can see. Nobody is performing right now, though.

I see a group of 5 or 6 Tolkein-style Dwarves over to one side. They look like they're having a pretty good time. I approach them and introduce myself. Their leader is a pretty buff looking Dwarf. He has long, thick braided brown hair and is wearing a sort of heavy brown leather harness that has what looks like a lion's mane stitched around the neck and shoulders. He greets me respectfully:
"I am Lokmin, son of (I can't remember his dad's name)." He thumps his chest (which is more Roman, I guess, but whatever).
I hold out my treasure map. "I've found a map to potential treasure, but it might be dangerous."
The Dwarves deliberate over my wrinkled sheet of notebook paper, making sounds of interest and approval. Lokmin looks like he's about to make the decision to follow me...

But unfortunately, we never got to find the treasure. I live near an airport - one of the EXTREMELY LOUD jets that I LOATHE flies overhead, waking me up and ending my lucid dream. I was pretty upset. Even now there's another really loud jet flying overhead. I hate those things, and the airport by extension (it wasn't always noisy here - they moved the flight paths).

I go back to sleep, trying to re-enter the dream, but I'm too irritated to focus.


Dream #3 - I dream that I am taking naked photographs of myself using my laptop camera and didn't realize the curtain across the sliding glass door in the living room was sheer. I figure either nobody saw me, or they didn't care.

I attempted to induce a lucid dream tonight but I was too tired, as well as having some sinus pain (and the headache to go with it. The weather is not being kind to me.

At ~7 pm Pacific time, I lie down to sleep and curl up on my side. This is usually my initial sleeping position, prior to WBTB attempts. I fall asleep easily, reminding myself to be aware of my surroundings and do reality checks.

I dream that I am driving down a highway with my brother. Judging by the landscape, it's somewhere in southern Kentucky. I'm driving a very nice car, a BMW with some sort of fancy name (I keep forgetting throughout the dream and having to ask my brother). It's black, with charcoal grey detailing on the interior.

Now my brother is driving. He pulls the car over to the side of the highway, turns it off, and gets out. I assume something is wrong with the car and follow him. We walk down the side of the highway for a few minutes before I ask him, "What's wrong with the car?"
"Nothing," he says, and shrugs.
"I thought it broke down or ran out of gas," I say. "I'm going back to the car, we can't just leave it there."
We turn around and walk back to where the car was. There are several other cars by the side of the road - some older cars, Toyotas and Kias and the like - but my car is gone. After searching up and down the road for a while, I come to the conclusion that the car must have gotten towed. I'm upset with my brother about it, because now we have to go and get it from the impound lot, which will take a lot of time and money.

I wake up. My head hurts. I perform a reality check. I attempt WILD; I fail. I fall back to sleep and re-enter the same dream.

My brother and I are still trying to get the car back from the impound lot. We see an apartment complex, and head there. It may or may not be our home. As we enter an apartment, I realize that my laptop was in the car when it was towed. I'm very upset about this. All of my work is done on my laptop, and all of my files are on it. Without it, I won't be able to work or pay my bills. Even worse, I'm also worried someone will be able to bypass my password and other security measures and access confidential files and information.

I decide to take a shower. There is a small control panel in the shower, and the shower head also functions as a speaker. While I'm showering, I receive an email. I check it on the shower control panel. It's someone saying that they have my laptop and all of the files on it. They have recorded a message for me, and I realize that this person is a 12 year old boy. They are claiming that unless I pay them $1 per file, they will post them all on the Internet.

I'm glad that I have the recording and email as evidence; somehow, the manner in which my shower head/control panel functions also allows me to get their IP. I send them a message back asking them to please meet with me so that I can pay them a hefty sum of money and recover my laptop. They agree to do so. I set about filing a police report and contacting the proper authorities regarding extortion and the b.s. that this kid is trying to pull.

I wake up. My head still hurts. I perform a reality check. I try a WILD anyway but am distracted by the pain, and I just fall asleep.

The dream resumes. I have decided to phone the impound lot to make sure that they actually have my car. I have to ask my brother for the make and model, as I have forgotten.

I now have a motorcycle. I am trying to get to the impound lot to recover my car. I am riding the motorcycle through the apartment complex. One of the tenants is upset that I have been riding up and down the stairs and riding through her apartment as a shortcut. She's decided to catch me doing it, but she's always waiting at the wrong door and I always get around her. I drive over her bed, which left a tire track on the comforter, but didn't. The entire apartment is done in shades of off-white and pastels, and the comforter is a very light (almost white) cream color. There are fake pastel flowers in vases everywhere. I drive out the back door of the apartment, and she is asleep next to the steps. I drive down the steps but accidentally hit the throttle, and go down the steps on my rear wheel. I drive down the highway toward the impound lot.

I wake up. It's 6 a.m. My head still hurts. I attempt to WILD, but everything distracts me. I get up, take an ibuprofen, and go make breakfast.

(this dream is current, as of last night)

Side notes:
WILD attempt unsuccessful. I felt the onset of paralysis, but the sound of the heater distracted me, so I was unable to "dive". Ugh. I need to not let those things distract me! I may have to turn the heat down, although then I'll have issues with being too cold. I can't wait for summer.

The second time I woke up, I just couldn't tolerate remaining on my back. It's hard to describe the sensation, beyond discomfort coupled with a compulsion to roll over onto my side.


The dreams:
1. I was wandering through a hospital, which was also a university somehow. The elevators didn't work properly. The math professor accidentally locked me in the classroom; I don't remember how I got out. I remember that there were a lot of ledges and narrow bridges you had to climb in order to navigate even the most basic parts of the building, such as the library, and thinking to myself that it was unsafe.

2. I dreamed that M--- and I were driving through a city. It was an unfamiliar city, but it was on a bay or sound of some sort. I wasn't paying attention, and M--- was driving. He drove up the metal framework of an unfinished bridge, and over the edge, into the water. I bitched at him and told him that he needed to pay attention to where bridges end. Rather than letting the car sink, I dragged it along behind me in the bay so that it floated and started the engine, using the car's engine to push us through the water faster.

3. I dreamed I was lying on a mattress with Mom and G---, and G--- was trying to tell me that if you add red paint to yellow paint, it makes green paint. I was arguing with him that it did not, although at the time I couldn't articulate why. Mom began playing with actual paint, like finger paints, and made a mess.

(Woke up, used bathroom)

4. I dreamed I was in a city with high rise buildings. The light was shining off of them.

5. I dreamed I was talking to a rheumatic old man. He had oddly-colored eyes, one was a deep blue hazel with brown in it and the other one had a brown iris shaped like a flower, where each petal had 2 dark brown dots in it, and no pupil. He had a cloth that was soaked in bleach that he would sniff, and told me about how comforting it was to him to smell it, then pressed it in my face - I wasn't too thrilled with it, although I do like the smell of bleach sometimes. He then told me about how the gene for his weird eye was recessive, and asked if any of my relatives had the recessive gene. I told him no, because he was creeping me out. His eye reminded me of a weird cat I remembered seeing (dream memory, not real), a black cat that also had oddly-colored and oddly-slanted eyes.

(woke up and went back to sleep)

6. I dreamed I was grocery shopping, and trying to select food that I thought both my brother and I would enjoy. The grocery store was dark and dingy, and the freezer cases had cloudy glass and didn't seem to close correctly or be working properly. I was loading up on junk food, thinking that we hadn't been able to afford it lately and he would be pleased. I also bought Fresca. I wanted to buy a small sample pack of different sodas, but someone had stolen 2 out of one of the sample packs and another one was nothing but grape (I hate grape). I was disappointed.

Woke up. I need to remember to perform Reality Checks more often upon waking, though.