Bubble

I had a dream that my old cat was alive, and for some reason, we had to give her to my uncle's ex wife because we couldn't keep her. The ex wife and her daughter cut off the cat's ears because they thought she was too pretty and someone would try to steal her (the cat was a very pretty cat).

Original journal entry dated July 14, 2002:

I dreamed I was on a road-trip with my aunt and uncle, except that it was like a video-game in that I could save at certain points and then "play" from my last save-point. My cat, Abby, was with us, and she fell out the window, but they refused to stop the car so I could go and get her, even though she was in the middle of traffic. So I screamed at the top of my lungs until they stopped the car. Miraculously, my cat had not been flattened and seemed perfectly fine, though I wondered if maybe she actually HAD gotten hit and seemed ok but was bleeding internally. Then I vaguely remember what was possibly a different dream, there was a lot of art involved, paint and colors and rainbows and stuff, and something about silk.

Original journal entry dated July 15, 2002:

It was sort of a waking-dream, a daydream, as I unsuccessfully tried to fall asleep. All I could manage was a light snooze. All the same, I imagined that I was leafing through my old Bible.
I don't consider myself a religious person; all the same, it had significance for me. I hated that old Bible because it was such an ugly teal color, and because the vinyl was cracked, and because it was dog-leafed from being studied and being in my backpack. I flipped through the pages and saw where they had been highlighted. There were a lot of highlighted passages, stuff that I was supposed to study for class. My old Bible was heavily highlighted, mostly in yellow, and I always hated how the pages were so thin that the yellow marker leaked through them and then you could see the black on the other side, and it made them so hard to read. In any case, I really hated that Bible.
I had to buy it for class - the King James version. And I hated it because my mother had had to buy the cheapest one in the store. I think I was looking for one verse - one particular verse - that would answer everything, every question I had ever had, and it wasn't there. All of the passages in smudgy black ink on cheap paper, highlighted in yellow, that I had had to study for so many hours for my classes, didn't hold the answers. The verse that I was looking for just didn't exist.

I dreamed about a cop who looked a little like one of the people I work with (but not really), and he was harassing a woman about her ID card. She'd had her ID stolen, and it was a tribal ID, and the cop was giving her trouble over it not being a valid ID while both of us argued with him that it was. I was particularly irritated since the person that the cop reminded me with would never be such a jerk. Eventually, we convinced him, and he recovered the ID, which had been discarded in a parking lot.

I kept waking up and dozing because I was cold. I finally woke up completely and put a warmer shirt on and turned the thermostat up. I tried some visualization exercises, but fell back asleep.

I don't remember much about my dream, but someone was throwing a party, and there were 3 rooms, and each had a different activity in it. One of them was scrabble, but they were using 5 scrabble boards all at once, and people would keep letters they "won" by spelling words with them. One guy had won a lot of letter tiles and had built a tiny tile city out of them. I recall there being furniture in the room in the most awkward places, like a desk that was just sitting in the middle of the room.

I wake up, back to sleep, again visualizations. I'm frustrated because they haven't been working well the past 2 nights.

I dream that I am eating an apple, and it is delicious. It's huge, the size of a grapefruit. It's soft and juicy, and it's purple inside. I somehow know I am in an alternate dimension on an alien planet, and wonder if the seeds will grow new apple trees if I discard or plant them here. I try to convince another dream character (a recurring character, sort of a witch or sorceress) that she ought to eat some of the apple.

Wake up. Lie on my back and try to relax. I'm making some progress with visualizations and then I snore and startle myself. Ooops. Back to square one. Ok, time to turn on my side so I don't snore again.

I'm visualizing and dozing off and bitching to the wizard-cat (another recurring DC) that I'm frustrated with how things are going this morning. We are both drinking coffee out of mugs. I figure that maybe if I hold a conversation, it'll help draw me in. It's actually starting to work, detail is starting to creep into things (but it's still all very hazy and not at all real or anywhere near a dream). I sniff my coffee but instead of smelling like coffee, it smells spicy-sweet. Suddenly, out of nowhere, instead of the dream gently forming around me I'm fully lucid and the mug is completely real. It startles me so badly that I drop the mug and wake up.

There's a weird interlude before I fully wake up where I'm trying to find my arms and they're invisible. I know I'm dreaming, but at the same time I'm not sure, and I'm also half awake, so it's more like a weird semi-OBE than a lucid dream. I finally manage to actually move my arm and wake myself up.

Naturally, I'm irritated. I sigh and work on visualizations again. I explore an imaginary room. I'm in the great room of the cottage near the fireplace when I start to slowly ease into sleep. I'm sitting in front of the fireplace, wondering why there's a fire going and logs in the fireplace, but there's no pile of wood. I reach behind myself, produce some logs, and set them in the bin next to the fireplace. There's suddenly a desk in the middle of the room, the one from the scrabble dream, for pretty much no reason at all. Unfortunately, I lapse into unawareess.

After a gap in time I'm on a bus. I realize that it's almost a completely fully formed dream, but it's so thin and I'm so close to being awake that if I make the "push" that I need to make it super-real (i.e. feel like reality rather than a super vivid visualization) I will probably wake myself up. It's all very flat, like watching a scene rather than being in it. There is another DC there, a sorceress, but she flickers and turns into the warlock character (recurring DC). He is a smart-ass but generally helpful when it comes to gaining lucidity. The bus flickers and fades. I wake up and doze. I am now in some sort of weird geometric environment. Everything is made of white square tiles but it's also like something out of Escher. Warlock DC is there with me, silently walking with me through the scenery. Again, it is close to clarity but not really "there". Instead of trying to brute-force it and try to push through the membrane of the dream all at once to bring it into full focus, I dive to the ground and start running my hands and face on the carpet (that wasn't there a moment ago). I can't make anything focus or make it clear, the sensation is a lot like being really drunk. I go through a door and try to will a scene change even if the dream's not fully formed, hoping it will be easier that way. The room only half-changes, and everything is still white. I rub my hands together, hoping to make things more vivid, but it doesn't really do anything. I get frustrated and wake up.

Original entry dated March 6, 2002:

I had another one of my weird dreams, I had a dream that I was in Mrs. F's class again and we were in this huge old building evaluating essays, but the essays were all mixed up and impossible to read in order - and she demanded that we write a paragraph on what we thought about each one. The building we were in was very large and very old, but looked kinda like Ringling Museum, and the Fair was going on at the time so there were all kinds of trucks parked outside. That was the relatively normal part of the dream...
In my dream, I could turn into a cat, but I didn't have control over it most of the time. Sometimes I could will myself to do it, but usually not. There was a tom-cat who, if I was around him, I could easily transform myself. Anyway, so I had a son (yes a son) in the dream, and I was trying to save him, only the room he was in was pretty heavily guarded, so I figured that if I could turn into a cat getting in would be easy. Unfortunately, I couldn't will myself to become a cat, so I decided to do it in human form. As I opened the door to the room, several automated guns detected a human form and swiveled on me, I knew that if they began firing they'd kill both of us, so I willed myself harder than ever before to become a cat, and then -

the phone rang.

So I never got to find out what happened...

Original journal entry dated Feb. 22, 2002:

Ok, to begin with, I had a nightmare (what's new?) that I lived all alone in a weird dorm with a basement that had creepy stuff in it. I had a cat, too, but wasn't supposed to. It was a very sweet cat. It was like Abby, only gray.
Then my dream shifted, and I dreamt I was a grandmother. We had packed our two grandchildren (both boys) up into the car when I noticed that one of them looked sort of funny. As in, you know. Headless. So, naturally, I started shrieking at the top of my lungs until my husband came over and showed me he was ok. Apparently, I'd been mistaken (about him being, like, headless). Then I looked over and the OTHER one was missing the same vital part of his anatomy. So, again, I flipped out. At the end of the dream, it turned out that I'd been hallucinating... not that this was much comfort.

The worst part about the nightmare was that I'd wake up, look around, check what time it was, then go to sleep and resume the same horrible dream. This continued from about 7 a.m. until 9:30.

I recall part of a dream from the other night: involved a massive mansion, purchasing it or staying in it or something, a bunch of super prissy girls I hung out with, too much partying, and someone puking in a purse.

Then I wandered with my family up the stairs at the mansion into a Jurassic garden full of dinosaurs.

Last night's dream was more mundane, a run-down farm-ish/trailorish building, horses involved somehow, then I was riding a bus while hugging my aunt's cat Jones (who was digging her claws into me).