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I couldn't remember the night before when I tried, so I neglected making a post.

Last night was pretty disjointed. I woke up partway through, trying to remind myself to remember my dream, but I'm not sure I really do. I do remember some stuff, though.

I woke up partway through and considered trying WILD but I was tired and making up for sleep debt over the week. And I just didn't feel like putting in the effort. I'll definitely do it tonight, though.

Anyway, I recall a fragment about... having Skittles, and eating them, and then I was digging through someone's laundry. I had dropped my Skittles in there.

I was doing this outside, kind of in front of a beach area, and it was kind of dark out but not nighttime. Sort of after sunset but before actual night sets in. And it was kind of cold and rainy out.

It was someone's brother's laundry. All of the clothing was a drab olive, or gray, or black, and there were skittles in them that weren't mine, and I was trying to be careful to eat only my Skittles and not the ones that were already in the dirty laundry, but I wasn't sure if I had accidentally eaten one of those, and it kind of grossed me out. I could sort of tell the difference because those skittles had gross spots on them, etc... anyway, I finally just spat out what I'd been chewing into a paper towel that I somehow magically found behind myself.

Then, some of my friends had moved into some low-rent apartments. They were very nice. There were persian rugs all over the floors, the floors were marble and natural wood, there was a nice fireplace, etc. I was amazed by how nice the apartments were. They were a 2-bedroom and even had a nice balcony. My mom complains that "people trash them" so not all of the apartments are this nice.

I wonder if it's possible for me and my boyfriend to rent one of these apartments, but we probably make too much money. I go outside for some reason that I don't remember, and walk a few blocks. I pass a little outdoor eating/socializing area with black cast iron tables and chairs, and think that it would be a nice place to hang out with neighbors. I'm trying to get back to mom's apartment, but realize that I don't remember which one it is or where it is, and it's very dark outside. The complex is mazelike, and I wander around for a long time looking for her building.

Then, I dream about a movie that all of my friends and I have been anticipating, but it's also actually a TV show, and it's about a bunch of underwater people/mermaids. And the special effects are TERRIBLE. The actors just have badly painted face makeup, and the whole thing feels half-assed and unconvincing, and we all feel ripped off. I recall a scene of one of the actors surfacing from beneath the waves and the makeup just looked so terrible, and I was very disappointed.

The next dream... now I am some sort of mermaid, and I live in a high rise, but I'm stuck there and don't have very much freedom, and the whole place is run by some millionaire.

I stand in front of a glass window and look out at the city. I am also floating, because I have no legs.

I sometimes steel a very small plane... but it's not a plane, it's more high tech, like a flying bike or something... and go fly around.

Flash back to another dream I had that this one dredged up:
I am in an apartment complex. It's a very run down complex. I'm going up and down the stairs, wandering around in this place. The carpet is very dirty, the walls are dingy, the whole thing is run down and it smells like food someone's cooking... that sort of general "I smell someone's food" smell where you can't figure out what they're cooking and whether or not it smells good or nasty. I remember the carpet being kind of... yellow brown...

So I go up these stairs, looking for some apartment, but I'm also not really looking for anything. The layout is a lot like an apartment I lived in when I was 13. It is not exactly dimly lit, but not well lit either. The stairs are claustrophobic and narrow and enclosed by walls. And for some reason, there are no doors for apartments. I get up to the top and there's a ledge against the wall running between the stairs, and nothing else.

Then, possibly in the same dream, I walk into an apartment building... it is dark inside... with the same sort of layout, but also falling apart.

And now this leads to recalling a fragment of yet another dream. I don't know if I've written about this one already, though.

I am in a sort of hospital place. Possibly a mental institution. The architecture is very prison-like, bars across the windows and everything is very washed out. I recall going down some stairs and gaining lucidity as I did so. I know this is a dream, but I'm not sure what to do about it. I go through a door at the bottom of the stairs.

I don't remember any of my dreams last night, beyond waking up and reminding myself to remember what I'd just dreamed about.

d'oh.

However, while trying to remember at least a few fragments of it, I somehow dredged up an ancient dream from when I was like... 4 or 5 years old.

I was in a store in the mall with my aunt S. It was a clothing store, think of like Ross's but a much older one... the name escapes me... the chain has mostly faded away. I don't think I've seen one in a long time.

Anyway, I lost my aunt somehow. I'm wandering around through the aisles looking for her, when I see a yellow Mylar balloon with a smiley face on it floating in the middle of the aisle I'm looking down. A balloon is interesting, but I'm looking for my aunt. I continue looking down the aisles. When I turn around again, the balloon is behind me, a few feet away.

As I go through the store looking for my aunt, every time I turn around or look down the aisle, the balloon is there. I start to feel like it's following me. It goes from interesting to weird to unsettling.

I finally find my aunt and complain about the balloon. I can't really articulate what's going on or why it's upsetting me, though. Either way, she either doesn't believe me or doesn't care. Little kids say weird shit all the time, after all.

I follow her out of the store and we meet up with my grandmother and my cousin outside in the main area of the mall. There is a giant yacht in the middle of the mall, just sitting there. It's huge. Not quite the size of an ocean liner, but definitely way too big to just be sitting there in a mall. I recall that the lighting in the mall was very dim, and the ground was very... kind of fake brown marbly. Very "generic mall". The yacht was very white.

I wouldn't quite classify it as a nightmare, but I remember that it was an upsetting dream. At the time that I had it, I still didn't have a firm grasp on the idea that dreams are different from reality, so I spent a while believing that a balloon had really chased me around a store. I didn't like Mylar balloons for quite a while after that.

Sept. 2, 2003:
I had this dream that my uncle had a fish-tank, only instead of fish there were hamsters swimming around in it. When I asked, "Aren't you worried they're gonna drown?" and he was like "No, they've lived in water all their life, they fell in there when they were babies". Then I dreamed I was in an office doing secretary work. There was some other stuff, but I've forgotten it already.

Sept. 4, 2003:
I had a dream, but I don't remember very much. My alarm clock went off and I hit the snooze button. Then I had a very realistic dream that mom called me on my cell phone, and the reception was really really bad, but I woke up halfway through the dream (so I know it was a dream).

I've had weird dreams, and I haven't been sleeping well... I don't know why I feel so ill but I just can't sleep. I reached that state of overtiredness that isn't caused by a lack of sleep, so much as too much stress. I mean that state where you're actually almost hallucinating, and you're paranoid because you're jumping at stuff that you see out of the corner of your eye, but isn't actually there. And all of the freaky dreams don't help either.

I mean, aside from the hamster-fishtank dream, I had a dream I was talking with Mom on the cell phone, but I had a nightmare too. I had a dream that I woke up and somebody was standing in my bedroom, but then I dreamed that I fell asleep again, or something. I know there wasn't anybody in my room, for several reasons. The first: my door was locked. I always lock and close my door when I go to sleep. Second, none of my roommates are like 6'3 or 6'4" tall and male. Third, it had that nice, surreal quality that makes you think "Hmm, I'm dreaming."