Sailing the Noosphere

5 separate entries? Good night of recall...

1. I'm watching the Simpsons, where Moe and Barney are the only two in Moe's Tavern. Both are fairly drunk and feeling vulnerable, and after a bit of dialogue they exchange a single kiss. Moe admits he was curious, and as soon as he does the bar begins to collapse around him. Dream cuts to "South Moe's," recast as an upscale drinking spot. However, pots of a black goop bubble behind the surface of the bar. Drinkers are littering the floor with their empty bottles, and as they do so the goop reaches out of its pots to grab them. The drinkers seem to dissolve before my eyes; Milhouse (dressed as Admiral Ackbar) screams "It's a trap!," while his mother's head lulls sickeningly on a bleached-white spinal column. Eventually Moe is the only one left in the bar, and he angrily tips over the pots. All the drinkers emerge, unharmed, and Moe orders them to clean up the mess as a lesson in environmental stewardship.

2. My high school friend S.M. has asked me to text him on Facebook, but I ignore his request. The next day, he and M.B. show up at my house bearing Magic cards, and as we play they both admit that they've been crushingly bored. I false awaken, then go to the computer and log on to Facebook. I see his text request again and ask myself, "Is this a dream?" I fail the reality check miserably and fail to go lucid.

3. I'm reading about Tarot readings I've done in my journal, only to realize that I've forgotten the staff portion of the Celtic Cross.

4. I'm at a flea market with the family, and we enter the main building through a sort of farmer's market area. Most things are reasonably priced, but bananas are $8 a pound and my mom flips out about it. Dad, fed up with her, enters a room containing clothes and life jackets. My brother has a smartphone with him, and dad wants to use it to check prices. The internet at the market can only be accessed through a medieval themed game interface, which costs $35. He buys it, but finds it very hard to enter web addresses, as letters change after entry (failed RC). Eventually he succeeds, and sees that his parking can be validated if he goes to the student union at my new graduate school. As he logs off, the game reports his session as a "royal history."

5. I'm at college, where I'm taking "History of Baseball." I get destroyed by the first test, and walk out dejected when I meet my old roommate, J.L. He carries a Whiffle bat and ball, and we play a little.

1. I'm engaged in a massive pillow fight at the old research station. All of the fellow researchers are there, along with a couple of high school chums. After a while, I jog off into the dark to explore, where I meet one of the researchers, E.D.

2. I run onto the Cincinnati ballpark's right field. No one seems to act immediately; the announcers booms out, "They don't tell us this shit." I make an arc to center field, where there's a wall and a door that lead out to the river. A burly black security guard with glasses makes a move to stop me, but I easily maneuver out of his way. I vault the wall and head for the door. The guard appears again; this time he actually grabs me and I'm forced to punch him. My getaway vehicle is a Burger King delivery car.

1. My friends from a recent RPG campaign have gathered to perform a work of music I've written. I am leading the ensemble with a marimba, while C.W. plays flute, V.W., K.R., and M.G. all play various percussion instruments. The work is energetic and the conductor is very much into it; there's an extended section of dueling percussion soli.

2. I get a bulky letter from a great-aunt and uncle I hardly know, and on the outside is written something like "If you love us, you'll be much more important." We go to visit them at their sprawling southern plantation-type home, approaching through a huge bluegrass field with a great oak tree as a centerpiece. The great-aunt sees me from across the field and beckons to me; I run away, although I'm not sure why and am a bit embarrassed.

3. I'm in downtown Cincinnati with my brother for some reason, when I realize that I'll miss the opera if I don't go home and change into nice clothes. The crowds outside Music Hall are horrible thanks to the traffic of a Reds game and ticketing problems at the venue. As I walk to the ticket window, MB. T. and her friends jump out of a car and begin to walk behind me. I double my pace to avoid them, but she calls me and I turn around to hug her anyway. A random acquaintance from college, Jessica B., remarks "smooth move," but no one else present thinks this remark is appropriate.

4. I again run into MB at a games club/cigar making club?

5. I'm playing pro baseball, which is serious business in the dreamworld. I miss an important catch, which leads our team to a loss. I am summarily expelled from the team and jailed. In my cell, I get a call from another criminal asking if I want to sell drugs. I act like I have some to receive visitors, then take advantage of the open gate to run like crazy. I get shot but keep running anyway.

1. I'm on my recent girlfriend's Facebook, where I see her pictures from field school. She's shaved her head, and she's standing with an old friend from college S. T. I laugh, shut my laptop down, and head into the night. I go to a bank, where I'm trying to get a summer job. On my way in, I see the same girl, but she has a full head of hair and is wearing our green senior class shirt. She says softly to me, with a bit of worry in her eyes, "I was never here." I don't know what to say, so I pass her and enter the bank. I don't get the job, but my parents are in the bank and walk out with me. She's still there, although my parents don't seem to notice her. She affirms, "Seriously, if we somehow meet I was never here."

2. I'm at the opening game of the World Series. Joseph Stalin is opening the ceremonies with a rant about Russia's nuclear capabilities.

A large crowd of kids from my high school have planned to go to a mall, then the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame and a ballgame. I am with them, but am rather low on cash and already have the giveaway bobblehead from the Hall of Fame. When they leave for the Reds, I stay to bum around in the mall. I head to a Barnes and Nobel to buy a copy of the Tao te Ching. When I get to the shelf where it's kept, I'm accosted by a clerk who says I tried to shoplift it earlier and thus am not allowed to buy it. I get angry and start to make a scene. I notice that mixed with the books on the shelf is a poorly written journal (text RC failed); its owner, a cute black girl, returns to claim it and takes the Tao te Ching along with it. Now I'm really pissed, and I go to pick a fight with a random customer. I soon realize he outclasses me in every way, but I refuse to back down and lose pretty badly.