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I wake up to find my roommate and his girlfriend in the living room of our house watching a television show and making food. The house is much messier than I left it that night. I look around and assess the damage. My roommate walks outside and downstairs. I hear the clattering of men at work in our back yard. I look out and the place is a mess, but it's always been messy.

His girlfriend looks at my guiltily and I scowl at her. She asks if there is something on my mind. I hesitate for a moment, then small my hands down on the tabletop and begin to vent. "Did you see how nice this place was when you came in? I hate making a big deal about it, but I can't just not say anything. Couldn't you have at least brought your plates to the sink?"

My roommate walks in. They both stand next to each other and look at each other. His girlfriend says "Well, it looks like you made a little mess of this organ.." To I respond very defensively "We stuffed that towel in there so the cat wouldn't crawl in there." The strangest part about this dream was the consistency of the events. Even the dirty plates were in the same place. The only discrepancy is the timeline in which it all occurred. I walked in to the same messy house and then cleaned. Hope this isn't a pre-cognitive dream!

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The dream fades in very faintly. I leave my dorm room and head towards the lecture halls in search of a bathroom. Turning in towards an open door, I notice the room is filled with students and their parents sitting and socializing as though the class hadn't yet begun. I walk to the back of the room, where the teacher is seated, shuffling through papers.

"Mind if I use the bathroom?" I ask.

He looks me in the eye and asks me straight out if I am stoned. Immediately I respond, "How about I pee on your face?" The room fills with laughter as I explain to the instructor's shocked face "If you have no problem asking if I am stoned in front of an entire classroom, then you certainly shouldn't have a problem with me asking to pee on your face."

At this, he stands up and directs to the corner of the room where we meet with my friend Victoria. He proceeds to ask me a series of questions to determine if I would be a suitable candidate for his advanced music classes. For the first question he asked me to identify the significance of a several sets of numbers divided by colons. Victoria tries to answer in my place, but the teacher glares at her. I answer, time signatures. The second question he asks is more of a riddle than a question.

"What is an abused ukulele?"

"A cello!"

He seemed thoroughly impressed and dismisses his class and myself. I walk back to my dorm room and run into my in-dream neighbor. In order to open our locked doors we must fuck them, as though the keyhole is a vagina and my penis is the key. It feels great and we both continue to fuck our keyholes for several minutes, never climaxing. I open to door to find a gigantic mess of puke and blood. The door and room are the size of a crawlspace, but in a desperate panic to save my roommate I crawl in until I realize he isn't inside. I look out the door and see him half asleep under a bed in the common area.

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