Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Attending Rinpoche's teachings but I am extremely sleepy. At some point I even get up and take a break. When I come back Rinpoche is gone.
The teachings are followed by nightly entertainment. Some girl comes to me with silly talk and I yell at her that all that is total bullshit, but I am not angry, more like amused with whatever she said. We see a pretty light display in the sky. Laser projections of a spaceship flying among planets and other cute things. The display is attracting people uphill through a dirt road. it is very dark, no electric lights. Then the path ends at some kind of three walled dead end with soviet movies being projected on the wall. It's cool, until a huge number of people keep coming uphill and pushing the ones already at the dead end. People start to panic, feeling claustrophobic, pushing each other. I feel panic too but I believe there is some door somewhere and after a while I find a door at the corner to my left. We open it and people start exiting with relief. Outside is actually an inside of a venue and there are people looking at the panel with info by the door, about the exhibition we just came from. They want to come in, but we tell them not to, that people are actually needing to get out from there.

Morning and people are departing on different buses. I am on a bus already leaving and see some familiar faces outside, sitting on the sidewalk waiting for a different bus. I see monks leaving the venue in another direction. Then I get lucid and get rid of the backpack I have on my lap. Accidentally, I hit a lady on her head with it, but I realize that if I don't care because she is a dream character, she will not react. And surely she doesn't. I get up from my sit and simply get through the glass window, but don't fly away. Instead I hang in the there, in the window frame, feeling the wind and enjoying the landscape. The bus is crossing a very high bridge and it's very vertiginous, but I like it. I make the bus go steeply up and down like a roller-coaster just for fun. The other passengers don't seem very please, but I keep reminding that they aren't real. Then the bus passes by a Bullfighting museum and I get the impression we are in Spain. I get out of the bus and get in the museum and start trashing it all using only telekinesis and chi blasts. It's very satisfying. Especially seeing the visitors of such dreadful place being blasted away. As I go deeper into this place, I pass some kind of patio with really beautiful stone floor, but the stones are very uneven and I am barefoot. I make some shoes appear on my feet and go deeper. Pass to a weirder area of this building, sort of descending to its catacombs and it gets sinister.[/COLOR] Most rooms I avoid, as they look familiar and I sense very creepy energy in them. Then I see a long staircase descending deep into the earth. The stairs and the walls look very organic. I sense danger too, but do not feel so much fear. I am attacķed by a dragon coming from the depths. I find some knight armors and other stuff lying around and I think I kill the dragon. Some weird creature, like an elf appears and says because I killed the dragon I am the heir of some saint or knight that fought dragons.
Then I find an exit to outside and I am at a train station, clearly at some Mediterranean town. Very pitoresque, very peaceful, very soothing. The weather is extremely nice but very cloudy. The clouds are luminous and the air is very light. I feel like singing and dancing and without any agenda, I just make love with the air and everything around me. I think of the guru and feel that he is all around me.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At my moms, although a slightly different house. It is in the middle of a city. But still at the top floor. On her room is my late grandma, still alive, laying in bed. I am with her. On the next room is my mom, my dad and some other relatives. The wall separating the two rooms cracks horizontally. My dad thinks the house will crack more and I think there has to be a reason behind it. That's when everything starts shaking. Through the window we see other buildings shaking violently and breaking apart. My dog Soraia is with us, I keep her near. Parts of our house start to collapse, like some outer walls. My grandma on the bed falls down with part of the room. My mom cries in panic. I suggest we all move to under the doorstep. When finally things are more stable, we assess the damages in the house. After the shock I say it is time to go outside because is dangerous to stay. My mom offers to go down the building's staircase and I say it should be me going, because I think it is dangerous for her. She insists and I warn her that she might find dead people. We hear a child cry somewhere on the floors below. She goes anyway. I gather my cats on a crate. Fairly easy to do except for Cuscus which forces me to go to the collapsed room looking for him. Meanwhile my mom returns, says the stairs are blocked 2 floors below. Couldn't find the child. We consider staying there until rescue comes but it might take weeks and it is not safe. So we find there is a connection between the roof to other rooftops of buildings that fell over each other. Through there I find ta way for us to reach the street. Most people seem disoriented but we find a group which seems to have a plan and knows where to go. I consider we join them. Then I am warned that some bad dudes are trying to steal one of my pets from where I left them in crates, near a car. But it is not a cat they are taking away, it is a falcon. I run and insult them but eventually the falcon flies away and escapes them. Then I call him back and he lands on my arm.

With friends, at some ancient site, like a temple or palace, awaiting for our Guru's teachings. As we wait for info about what's going to happen, Rinpoche drops by and hands over a bunch of papers with poems. He says we should go make copies, distribute them and study the texts. Then he turns away to leave, but our eyes cross and I understand I should follow him. I follow him through a corridor, I stop seeing, everything is dark and then it's like I enter another time and dimension. The floor is covered in flowers and on both sides of the aisle there are people throwing flower petals and offering precious substances. I spot Rinpoche again at the end of this path and at the entrance of a private garden area. When we are there alone, we kiss. He becomes a young, athletic, beautiful prince, with long hair with a bit tied up on top of his head. I also turn into an Indian looking princess-like beauty with a vaporous white dress. We enjoy the sensual delights of being alone and free to love in this solitary magical retreat. Apparently for a long undisturbed time. We have a son. At some occasion I am bathing in a lake and playing with my boy. From a short distance, I see my love looking at us, very serious. He is majestic and he carries a dagger in his right hand. As he walks towards me, I get in some kind of horny surrendering trance. I get out of the water and I lay down on a stone surface and welcome him in my arms. He lays down with me. But he is talking very seriously about people in some other time and dimension. He says with aggravation that they will at some point stop going to temples and looking for us. They will instead go to shopping and movies and other mundane things and we will have to be with them, among them, doing those things with them, for them. Then I black out and start drifting in what I would describe as the multiverse, a dark void where a myriad of universes are laid out in an infinite geometrical matrix and I see them unfolding in their infinite diversity, overwhelmed.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Some animal rescue organization tells me there are some cats at a derelict building, which they feed, but fear for them because the building was vandalized during the night. They ask me to go check. When I arrive there I find Rinpoche in casual clothing feeding some kittens and surprised to see me. There is no time to talk as some other people immediately also join us. We look after the kitties.

Later I walk through a park and find a baby duck walking by himself in a strange place. I kneel and he jumps on my lap. I cuddle him in delight. Then spot a lake with other ducks and take him there. But he jumps out of the water and again to my lap. I feel like adopting him but not the best idea.

Go to some expo, don't know what about, but spot some food area and go there. They have Mexican and South American inspired food, all vegan. I wait in line to order something. Try to read the menu but don't know what anything means.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


I meet Laura, think she is in some kind of trouble and needs to hide. One of her kids is in the hands of some bad individuals, which we we manage to locate and bring to our place with the kid (an office at a university). We fight and the baby ends up falling down a window. Luckily there is a mattress below and he is projected onto a cradle that happens to be in the middle of the street, in a perfect safe landing. We want to go get her immediately but there are lots of passer byes who call the police and we are unable to retrieve the baby, because for some reason, despite the kid being hers, Laura is not exactly in good terms with the law and they can't know that she is trying to get her baby. Then the police comes knock at our door and start an absurd interrogation. The office is quite messy, because we fought there with the bad dudes and they find a book about birds on the floor and start asking us scientific names of birds to prove a point. But I know quite a few bird names and say I have them in my land, hence my interest in the book. I don't understand where they are going with that. They leave and can't connect us with the kidnappers or the flying baby.

In Mexico with mom and another girl. We attend some expo in the outskirts of Mexico City. On return we find some people providing care to street puppies. One has a horrible thing in the eye but they remove instantly. It's painful to see because they don't use any sedative, but then we see the puppies after care and they are all fine, cleaned and healed. They are all black and with white spots, a bit scruffy. My mom holds and kisses one that is totally black. They will be returned back to the street and we feel so sad but we can't take them with us. We hope for the best for the puppies.

As we walk down the street, a very poor area, we feel a bit uneasy, but I focus on the beauty of their simple way of life and how nobody is disturbing us, so the fear goes away. I feel the presence of my guru and I become lucid. I open a tear in the sky, just trying to get out of the dream, but from it comes out a god, a very hunky guy, who throws green energy blasts at me, apparently challenging me. It doesn't affect me, I fly towards him and kick him on the side. He is projected and although he laughs at me he stays on the ground. And then hold I his hand and I kiss it, saying I love him.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

On a trip with mom and others to "Serra da Estrela" and it starts snowing. Mom is out of her mind happy, we take amazing photos and we will share them at Xmas with someone.

Been needing medicine but and avoiding the pharmacy. But I really need something to feel better and someone is recommending me one particular pharmacist, so I go there and try to get something. I engage in conversation with the pharmacist, she realizes I know quite a lot about drugs and natural remedies. She mentions having colloidal silver and goes get a vial for me to take every day.

Flying over a pasture with sheep and on fire.

Part of a team that travels in time and solves situations from the past, turning around the outcomes of wars, etc. We believe we actually need to do it so our timeline is not broken. We get riddles and leads from an unknown source and we solve the cases through detective work and figuring out the riddles on site in the past. But there is another team that thinks we actually alter the timeline and they are against it and try to stop us. There is no way to know which group is doing the good thing.
We are at a church somewhere in Netherlands or Flanders. We need to reach the highest tower. We solve riddles and puzzles to open and close secret doors and activate hidden gadgets. Up in the tower there is a final riddle which activates a shower of arrows which are shot to the middle of a battle going on down below and which saves the city from its invaders. Once we complete this task, we return to our time and we are caught by the other group. Their leader is a tall handsome guy and we kinda have a crush on him. He arrests me, but I am cool as a pumpkin and he realizes we already completed our mission.

Some event with my Teacher. We're staying at a hotel or something. I meet him at the lobby and we sit at a table talking. I undress a coat and notice I am wearing a red knitted sweater just like his. I find it funny but not awkward, until other students join us and they are all dressed in white and look at us two wondering why we both wear the same sweater.

I cross a parking lot and see a dumpster full of good stuff someone threw away. I go get a van and start selecting clothes, shoes, and other stuff. A lady from a nearby block of apartments seems suspicious at what I am doing, so I tell her I collect stuff others throw away, to donate institutions and people in need, so she gets excited and actually comes to help me.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Walking a street at night with some people. I am bored to go around a building block and tell all that I am taking a short cut, so I fly over it. I am half-lucid. The rooftop becomes the inside of a castle wall, with grass and trees. The night turns into day and I decide to just have fun with this dream. My shoes drop on the ground and I think "why do I care about all the stuff I am carrying? Just let go". So I drop everything, including clothes and I fly across the trees, feeling the branches, I fly close by the castle walls, having a lot of fun, then I sink into the ground and I get buried in the soil up to my waist. [Then I become more aware and fully lucid and remember to think of my guru, but as I do, I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

With my grandpa on a bus that is on a road parallel to the Tagus river in Santarém. The river is so dry, he feels disturbed. I notice the lack of sand under the pillars of the bridge that crosses the river and soon enough part of the bridge collapses, when we were just at the beginning of it. When we fall, the bus lands partially on a platform at the river bed, but dangerously dangling. I call people to our side of the bus to make it tilt and it stays balanced. Then we realize somehow we and the bus have been shrunk and we are now tiny people in a big world. We don't know what to do but we find other tiny people like us. At first they don't want to help us, but I manage to at least converse with them. They seem fine with being tiny.

(A secret dream about my guru)

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Rinpoche comes to meet me at a University library. We're supposed to do some research on some books he previously asked me to pick up. He holds my hand and kisses it. I go pick up some more books and I encounter some people, like Axman, who want to know what I am up to. I tell them I am with Rinpoche, they don't believe me. I don't care. But when I join Rinpoche at the table he is already surrounded by other students. I have to seat quietly at another table and just hand him the books. He marks down parts of texts for me. Then we all pack our bags and have to go, but I am not in a hurry, so we exchange some languish looks as we depart.
Then a colleague comes to me with a video on her smartphone that she wants me to see, about some weird animal sanctuary. Then it becomes like a live hologram in my hands and I watch a nest of hatching eggs as if they are in my hands. Rinpoche comes to me and asks what it is. Then the hologram becomes real and he tells me to eat some of those eggs. First I say I don't want to, because it is some living beings, but then I realize it is all just a dream, so no harm will be done. The creatures coming out of the eggs are viscous and slimy with tentacles. He grabs a bunch of eggs with creatures coming out and puts them in my mouth. One I swallow immediately, then he says to chew on the rest which I do, it's kinda bitter and slimy, but I don't flinch and eventually I swallow it all.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At a house with a long corridor, like my grandparents' home in Moita. I'm going around locking up the windows. My dad is there. I also have my cats and a cougar. The cougar was raised by us but seems not to like us or the cats, and picks up fights. The cats are afraid and bite me several times. The cougar then bites a cat but lets him go, clearly not with the intention to kill. Still I yell at him and throw him out in the street. A couple of twin old rich ladies, my neighbors, see it and come to rescue the "poor thing". I try to warn then that he is behaving badly, but they don't care as they always loved the cougar.

Staying at a hostel, changing the sheets in the bed. Someone caught a mouse in a jar.

Go to school and I am looking for my classroom. I am late, Ana Sofia and others also are just arriving. Not many places or chairs available. I sit in the back, can't hear the teacher. A girl in front row is an ass kisser to the teacher.
Then in the middle of the students, I spot my guru as a young boy, he is being teased by a indian kid pretending to be fishing.

A guy who's been stalking me disappears, but I think he faked his own death and will come back to haunt me again

Start dating my childhood crush Marco. We've been flirting for a while, I sit in the back of the classroom and so does he. One day he sits at a piano to serenade me and I sit by his side, feeling warmhearted.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

A Miami Vice dream. Sonny is in trouble, there is a bomb under his chair, pressure activated. A team comes on helicopters and he is saved. A rich guy offers Sonny a high tech helicopter that looks like Millennium Falcon in black, but he has some trouble learning how to fly it and at first he bumps against everything. Then the helicopter turns into a Transformer and while morphing, Sonny is left hanging outside the helicopter as it goes away.
Then a chase on yachts and helicopters, I am on a yacht. On another yacht is the dead guy from Weekend at Bernie's.
Then I also get on an extremely high tech flying gear. Some secret agency hasn't found good pilots for it and I kick ass on it. It does vertical flying, instant speed changes and is controlled mostly by the mind.

Go down a hill to a riverbed, some kids playing there and freaking out over a tiny frog. I put the frog back in the water before they hurt her. Some dudes on horse are coming fast to where we are and I scream to the kids to get out of the way and take cover in the bushes nearby. The guys have assault weapons and carry someone's bloody arm. We're not sure they saw us or not. We go tell the police. Then we all take a bus home together and these guys hop in and sit by our side. The kids freak out.

A dream with my guru. (secret)

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Going to the movies with Riverstone. He thinks it's Star Wars, but it is some parody sketches on Star Wars. And the sound is shitty. Then I am the actor playing it live on the theater. But the other actor that should be there interacting with me did not appear and so the whole thing falls apart. I try to invite the audience to enact the jokes with me but it is a total disaster.

I am with my guru, sort of accompanying him. He doesn't sleep, he also doesn't stay around much, is always going somewhere, meeting people. A monk comes to keep me company, talks about alien abductions and some book author we both seem to know but whose name we don't recall. Then he gets too fond of me and wants some action, but although he is actually cute, I don't want him to break his vows and I say no. Then a giant wave comes from the sea outside, doesn't break the windows, but engulfs the building which gets under water. We pick cell phones and documents and leave. We go to higher floors and get out somehow to dry land. Then we see Rinpoche's students heading to a town square, all dressed up and I ask what's the occasion but nobody says. I sit alone at a bench and I realize I have my cat Buddha hiding in my purse and I hug him.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

In high school but with adults. Gym class is a contest of push ups in the yard, two teams against each other. The other team wins, but we are all in great shape. We take a shower and dress to attend next classes. I have a funny t-shirt with some nerdy sayings. I notice a guy looking at it and it is Markl (a nerdy comedian). We have a new class together, I think it's arts and crafts. I don't say anything to him because everyone is treating him like everyone else. But later on our way to with no nerdy messages and he is still looking at me with interest. I decide to send him later a message on Instagram to break the ice. Then on my way to english class, some colleagues are behaving like teenagers and a guy kisses one of my friend in the lips. Then some other guy to my side comments that I looked at it with jealousy and looks like I am needing some action. I feel embarrassed and get out of the group and cut through to the class. Teacher is sitting at her desk waiting for everybody and looking upset. I say sorry for delay but see no tables for the students. She points to a line of chairs against a wall, but they are all taken. I go outside look for more and warn my colleagues to bring some along but all we can find are some stools.

At my mom's home. I am by the window and I see the sky getting darker with storm clouds and pink lightnings. I am drawn to it and I fly through the window. Getting closer to it, I get lucid. First I consider diving on the ground but why not stay here instead? While I am touching the ground, I grab some dirt and call for the guidance of Guru Rinpoche and from the dirt comes a mini bronze statue of him. The darkness becomes nastier, like a blanket starts covering the whole sky and I also summon my teacher. He appears behind me, touches my shoulder and says something incomprehensible. I ask him to repeat but he is on the move and sounds like talking from very far away. I understand something about seeing him / meeting him at eleven, but where and how? Then he disappears and from the dark clouds a scary face appears and many arms stretch out and grab those in the way. I decide to fight it and I shoot light from my hands. It hardly affects it. He sends two human like beings to attack me. I get a knife somehow and stab one, but no blood, no wounds, he is not human. It grabs the knife and threatens me with it. I kinda surrender, but when he thinks I am defeated I find a way to break through the kind of spell this demonic being is putting on other people. I see a bunch of people locked inside some tiny house made of illusions they were tricked into believing were real. Once I show them the illusion, walls and doors start to crumble and they realize they can come out as they were never really imprisoned to begin with. This caused way more damage to the demon, who loses power and goes away.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At some house, looking through clothes my mom found in trash, then also some toys which are to be donated to a kindergarten, checking if they are complete and playing a bit with some of the games.
Then for no reason I see my teacher sitting at the end of this room, with it's back turned to me and I get lucid. I go towards him and surprise him by touching him softly in his back. He is wearing a light brown shirt and he looks to the side to see me. I move my hand down his arm and gently caress him. He shuts his eyes in total surrender. So I kiss him. I notice his lips a bit dry, but soon our salivas mix and our tongues intertwine, while I caress his shaved head. I enjoy every bit of it.
Then I realize there is someone else in the room. We stop and I turn to this person. It looks like my dad, he doesn't seem to recognize me. He turns away quickly and heads to a door. As he opens the door, he looks back one more time and his physiognomy changed. He is taller, slimmer, more tanned and dresses like an Indian man. I follow him but lose him in the movement of people outside. My attention also gets drawn by the majestic landscape and I don't follow the man anymore. In front of me are some amazing mountains covered in luscious green vegetation. And there are people going up and down the mountains, apparently carrying things, picking up fruits, going about many different activities. Strangely, the mountains seem extremely tall ,but people have the same apparent dimension whether they are at the top of it or down at its base. I see a huge strange black bird flying over my head. It is the size of a big eagle, it has a beak like a toucan and strange wings that make a half-moon shape with the first two feathers on each side slightly round and color red. I follow its flight and to my left I see what seem like clouds made of liquid water, which give the impression that everything beneath it, is underwater. There is a type of tree whose top touches the liquid cloud and behaves like kelp in the ocean. Then I turn my attention again to the mountains. I realize the contours of the mountains, the hills and valleys, the rocky surfaces, are all fractal shaped. I decide to take off and fly to see it up close. I am mesmerized by these patterns, and the psychedelic colors they have and then I almost wake up, but instead I have a FA in a totally white empty house. I remember I left my teacher back in the other house and I go around this house calling out his name, hoping to summon him back. Going through some corridor I spot someone that looks like him and other people going after, but when I get closer, it isn't him. But he is also a teacher to these people, who admire him and are respectfully walking him out as he leaves. I am starting to feel the LD fading away, so I decide to get out of here and do my own hing. I find a window and jump to outside. It's again a beautiful landscape with green hills, but this house is right on the slope. I have to climb some moss covered rocks to reach the top of the hill. Some lady who had made some comment to me inside, followed me out the window and insists on asking me something about mind training. Something like, if I feel that realization is a consequence of how much time you practice. If it is an inevitable consequence of your time dedication to practice, because she is feeling frustrated for not seeing results. I don't remember exact words I said, it was very short answer, but it was something in the line of "no, it's not just time related, more about quality and merit."
Then on the top of the hill I see a valley below, but really far below, like we are many kms of altitude up. I decide to jump and fly some more. I enjoy it for some time, once again absorbing the details of the majestic landscape. Until I start descending and land in some city below. I land in a town square between some classical buildings and there is a giant painting on the floor with a reproduction of some classical work of art. I dig my hands in the floor and have fun picking up elements from the painting and throwing them in the air to watch them slowly fall like confetti. Then I want the painting to become a giant trampoline and I have fun jumping and doing flips in the air.
When I am done with it, I walk down a street. The LD is weaker and I don't remember exactly what happened but I end up in a TV studio, where a famous morning show is being recorded and I am sitting with the live audience. The show hostess is demonstrating some modern appliances and its uses and we are offered some bread cooked by a bread machine. I taste it and it is completely bland and tasteless. I feel this is boring and once again I aim for a window to change scenario At some corridor outside the recording area, I see a window. I look through it and down below I see a moat or a lake. I am about to jump to it, when I notice it is full of big animals swimming. First they look like crocs, but on a closer look, I see they are mainly big fish, turtles and some mutant creatures, like fish but with tiny arms and hands. I decide to go get the tasteless bread and feed it to the animals. The bread wasn't a lot but seems to multiply as I split it into bits, so I keep feeding the animals for quite a while. Then I wake up. .

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Attending my guru's teachings. I am sitting right in front of him, then there is some initiation in which I am given something, not sure what, Then I am alone with Ioana who teaches me a ritual dance. Then she says we were supposed to have met others again at some new place and that we are late and she runs out to ger her shoes or whatever.
I follow her outside but don't see her anymore. I find myself in a pateo in what seems like a monastery. I feel something weird. I start floating, dancing in the air, moving weirdly, end up on the ground doing sensual moves with some objects in my hands. A bell is placed on my pelvis and with each movement it rings and arouses me. I am getting horny with the dance, when all other students appears with our teacher and I feel embarrassed and stop. But Rinpoche asks some other lama what he thinks of my dance and the opinion is that I did good, considering I just got brief teachings immediately before. Then I learn that it wasn't Ioana who had taught me, but Rinpoche himself, that I had been under some spell to see a different reality and see her in his place.
Now we will continue the teaching, We all walk to inside the building. There are flags hanging and waving everywhere and graffiti with certain symbols I can't decipher on all walls.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Going to some Buddhist teachings and staying at some hotel in front of the teachings place. The buildings are New Orleans type. The hotel is just by the side of a gay bar.
By chance, or not, I am put next door to my teacher's room, who is staying at the same hotel, but I don't know it until I go hang some clothes to dry at the balcony and realize it is a common balcony and I see some attendant preparing a tray with tea for him. But I don't see him. Then it gets confusing, with people circulating through my room thinking it is an extension of his suite. Although, in fact there are connecting doors between the rooms.
I get dressed and later go join group lunch, which is in a long table where everybody eats together, some 30 people. I don't see my teacher, but there is only one vacant seat at the top and I sit, hoping it is not his place. I know the girls sitting on both sides, they tell me it is ok to sit, we chat, we have a good time. Suddenly I look up and as some people got up from their chairs or are leaning backwards and I see my teacher to the left, in the middle of the table, staring at me and I feel embarrassed. I smile but then look down, then look up at him, then look down and I repeat it a couple more times. His eyes are locked on me. Then he gets up and goes to balcony over our heads to tell some story and a couple people act the story out.
On the balcony wall appears a giant slug, yellow or orange, leaving a mucus trail and then appears a sea cucumber, also in flashy colors. Some girls are going crazy over our teacher and like famished beings they lean against the wall and stretch their arms until they reach the base of the balcony. In their rush to kiss their guru's feet, they lick the animal's slime and apparently swallow the animals. I find it gross, but then again, I also think why I find it gross. It is just my perception. Except for the poor animals, I worry that they swallowed them out needlessly. So I also reach out to look at the floor of the balcony and I see the slug and the other animal languishing on the floor and I feel relief.
Meanwhile I feel something coming out of my mouth, it's disturbing and I also feel embarrassed, because my guru is still looking at me. I start pulling a small white embroidery from my mouth and keep pulling a white thread behind it. But it's not over, then my mouth is full of beads and I collect them out one by one. My teacher is looking with admiration, so I assume it's not a bad thing.