Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some party with lots of people from many places. It's fancy but also in some desolate location in some ruins. I get tired and get out of there, to realize we're in an island. I ask someone what time is it and they say 2 am. I say that's not possible. They reply is the jet lag, that's why I am not sleepy. But that is not my issue, my issue is that outside it looks early morning, with sunlight. I encounter some familiar faces and they ask me if I am joining them leaving this place. I agree, because I know nobody else and don't know where I am. So they walk me to a dock and then some small row boats come and get us.
Then we're taking a trip by bus once on land again. Still not recognizing the place as the night falls. Then I recognize the sillouette of Las Vegas in the dark, despite all the city lights being turned off. I just recognize some of the iconic shapes in the dark, like the Sphinx and the Eiffel Tower replicas. When it is day again we stop at a large mall so we can eat or buy anything and stretch our legs. For some reason I encounter my father, who apparently was looking for me and traced me back here. His behavior immediately throws me off as he starts asking questions and making innuendos that I don't even understand. I ignore him for a while and I evade his questions, but allow him to follow me around as I look at the shops for fun. I am wearing a long skirt and a corset and he touches the strings on the back of my corset, asking what happens if he pulls the strings off. I am starting to feel really uncomfortable and tell him to stop. Then I look at beautifful dresses and he asks something like who I am going to wear them for. I say I don't even know what he is talking about. Then we pass by a section of lingerie, to which I don't even look at, but he starts asking if I like this item and that item, all very girly pieces with fruits stamped and not exactly for my age as if he is signaling he wants me to be his little girl again. I tell him he is sick and disgusting and I have had enough. He plays dumb. But I tell him I know his mind, I know he is sexually attracted to me and jealous that I grew up and might get a boyfriend (I say I still haven't had one, but if I did that was none of his business). He looks embarassed and doesn't deny it. I call him all the names I ever wanted to call him and move on, through a pastry shop and then a jewel shop. He still follows me and then tells me to wait while he goes check on the bus we have to take home. I do sit in a bench thinking about what to do next, but I have no intention to join him. Billie Eilish is playing on speakers and I start singing along, and so do other teens around who smile at me. Some even start doing a coreography and I am really impressed. Then some guy I know vaguely from school also sits on the bench and he is the one recognizing me first and asks me about what I am doing here. He offers me a ride with his friends that are coming. I accept but still I feel bad for leaving my dad alone, worrying he might get lost looking for me, despite all.
[Note: My dad was a bit of creep all my life and I do have reasons to feel some disgust and anger towards him, but some of the dreams I have been having are a bit too much, because I don't recall him actually abusing me or saying stuff like he says in my dreams. This is disturbing stuff.)

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Sleeping in my bedroom with a friend who's staying over. We're at my old parents house, in my parent's bed, because it's bigger for the two of us. My mom is sleeping in the couch or not at all. Then I wake up very early morning and my dad is laying behind me, I have no panties and he is penetrating my anus. I feel totally disgusted and get up in a jolt and punch him, saying that it was the last drop. My friend wakes up spooked. I make a scene dropping all my anger on him and saying I am no longer treating him as my dad and that I lost the last ounce of respect I had for him. I go to the bathroom to wash myself. Meanwhile my mom heard some noise and woke up and came to see what's up. I hide in the bathroom and don't want to tell her. My friend doesn't know what to say and my father comes up with some excuse. Anyway, the dawn comes, so I pretend I just woke up early and I am preparing for school normally. After I get dressed, I go to the kitchen to have some breakfast and through the open window enters a raven. At first I try not to scare it away but then he makes sounds as if he wants some help, so I grab some food and approach to see if he wants. Then I notice he has a broken jaw and a broken beak and looks awfully thin. Was probably hit by a car and is in pain. I pick him up and take him to my bedrooms' balcony. I look for some box to put him in but all I find is some pillow. I drop him on it and tell him I will be back soon to care for him. I think about calling the wildlife protection services when I cross paths with my mom in the hallway and she is with three male and a couple female brazilian teens from her evangelical church (when she attended church). The guys come from the bathroom where they were washing hands and the girls have a tiny kitten in their hands and they are all saying they adopted him and she begs them not to abandon him when he grows up. They seem a bit overwhelmed with the long term commitment. I see my dad again coming out of the kitchen and wanting to make amends with me and I yell that I'll never allow him to touch me again and he may stop expecting us to have any sort of relationship. My mom hears this and she doesn't understand what's going on. Thinks I am being harsh with him and makes a sympathethic look towards him. I still don't wanna tell her what happened, just say this is how it's going to be from now on.
[Note: my dad was always a bit of a creep, but I have no conscious memory of him abusing/raping me, despite my dreams about it]

I'm watching Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid movie. At the end, when I think they died I get the message that they actually never die and that there are multiple films after this one in which they always come back miraculously from their apparent death at the end of every film. I am surprised and happy to know it. The I am actually the lady who is their lover in the film and I am at home waiting for them. I casually tidy up the house which has some active fires from some small explosions that took place earlier in the movie and then I start putting food in a fridge. When they return, I scold them but I really feeling happy that they are alive.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


Part of a team planning something that implies invading someone's underwater bunker and living there for a year. But the plan fails, because the bunker is at a lake or near the shore and there is as a guy driving buy who spots us diving and he knows to whom this place belongs and what's down there under water. I think we should abort but the others decide to go anyway.
Nothing happens for weeks. We get used to living there. It's more like an underwater complex, spacious and with multiple areas, even has a living room with a piano, very stylish.
At some point we're running a full business from there and I interview 3 ladies for the secretary job. Someone even brings in a dog,
Then there is one incident, when the two guys who take shifts guarding outside, get into a fight. While they are not watching, some hired killer comes in the complex to eliminate us. And somehow I know this but no one listens to me. There are escape pods and I consider going on one, but I decide to stay and locate and neutralize the enemy.

I am at the Finances office, to clear up a doubt about my taxes, but the world looks a bit post-apocalyptic and the place looks chaotic. No one comes to help me, so I just barge in and look for employees in the lower level office rooms. I find a room with two workers behind desks covered in piles of paper and attending a 3rd person, so I wait on a bench in the corridor for a chance to talk to them. While there, the corridor behind me fills with debris, like the walls just collapsed. But the workers just keep doing their business as usual, as if nothing happened and eventually ask me what they can do to help me. We discuss income tax and they issue an invoice for the tax I have to pay, and then I leave.
I meet my dad on my way out, and I tell him about my tax issues. But then he starts tickling me and playing with me like he used to when I was a child. But not in a good way. (And this is actually real, my father never abused me, but he did harass me a lot and disguised it as innocent play) Things escalate as he starts pulling my pants off. I get really mad at him and yell at him that that wasn't ok when I was a child and it is not ok now, and that he will face consequences, because I am an adult now. I call him an abuser and tell him that what he did, was never play, it was always sexual abuse/harassment and he seriously needs treatment for his mental problem. He goes speechless. He looks down on the ground, then grabs a sandwich, but can't even swallow it because his throat is so dry. Then he changes subject and asks me about some movie he saw or wants to see, that is directed by some director he knows and Robert Rodriguez and he wants to know if I know him. But I am jut too furious and do not get distracted by the change of subject.