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    Lucid-schizo-dreamer

    Dream Warrior and Explorer of the Dreamplane

    1. 6 Feb: Attempt to meditate in the luminous mind

      by , 02-06-2011 at 09:25 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

      22:00

      Helping out
      Someone wants me to save someone else from something, but I clarify weíre just in a dream, so no point to stress out. This person cries. I promise to help.

      0:00

      Feeling two bodies simultaneously
      I was falling asleep, but then something strange happened: I felt I was lying on my bed, but although I know my BF was lying by my side, I could not feel him, so I stretched my hand out to reach him. At first I felt nothing, but then I felt his knee. He moaned and asked ďwhat?Ē, I say it was nothing, but I was in such a state in between sleep and vigil, that I felt myself dissociating from my body: I felt simultaneously my ďrealĒ body on my bed and I felt myself floating above the bed on a dream or astral body. I made some sound like ďwooowĒ and he moaned to me ďare you ok?Ē. I was hardly able to speak or even hear my own voice by then, but I kinda moaned back ďwow, I have two bodies!Ē, then he replied something like ďyouíre sleepyĒ, I laughed exhilarated and fell completely into the ďdream bodyĒ.
      [in the morning I asked him about this and he doesnít recall it happening. It might be that it was all a dream from the beginning, that the conversation we had was already a dream or that he simply forgot.]

      Chemtrails
      Already disconnected from my waking body, I watch hypnagogic imagery. I got caught on some image where I was looking through a window to the sky. Although everything I see around is dark and undefined, the night sky outside is very clearly defined and I see an airplane passing low and leaving a large trail. When the airplane comes back and leaves another trail, I am sure he is leaving chemtrails. I know I am not awake but I am also not sure that Iím dreaming. I go through a short blackout and then I find myself outside on the street under that sky. My mother is with me. We look at the trails and I tell her we should go inside because it might be some nasty chemical. She is very worried. I pinch my arm to do a RC, I confirm Iím not awake, so I donít feel so worried.
      I turn back and face a large residence. Weíre on the back yard. I talk to some DCs who seem to be college students. I go inside.

      LDers secretariat
      I meet my BF on some room, but he is very agitated and leaves right after. He goes down some stairs to the front door. I go after him but I halt on the corridor, because I see 3 doors all with signs on the door saying ĒLucid dreamersĒ or "lucid dreams". One is closed, the other is open and there's some guy inside but he is busy talking to someone, so I enter the last one. Thereís a lady there, but she says Iíll have to come back later because she is on her break. I see she has a badge with her name, so I ask her if I can check her name once more, just so I can recall who she is on waking up. She is in a hurry and with very little patience, but she turns to me once more before closing the door and I read: Eliza Dias.

      Students protest
      I walk to the stairs and I pass by some window that I open to see whatís going on down there after all. The police are taking some kid in custody. His colleagues are protesting. I fly down to meet them and I ask whatís going on. They say the police came with a list of names and is taking away one by one. They say they did some demonstration days before and they are coming for them. Others donít agree it is because of that and say a smaller group of protesters invaded a bank to stage some action there and the cops are only taking them. Meanwhile the police comes back and starts calling for more names. The kids form a block together, not allowing the cops to take them. I join them for support.

      3:00

      Bus ride
      I enter a bus and it is my friend M. Silva who is the driver. I had just bought a ticket at a counter at the bus stop but now Iím having troubles finding it. She says itís ok, but I must sit on the seat across from her and talk with her. I was followed by friends Ė Zilla and others Ė who want me to sit with them on the back but I tell them to go without me. Donít recall what happened in detail, but either she or some other lady who sat by my side freaks me out, because through her ears I can see the inside of her head, which has a big fire raging. I run to some seat somewhere in the middle of the bus, which now seems like some conference room. My seat has a board over it full of pens and pencils and I have to organize them all before I take the seat. Then I see my friends in the back who signal me to go meat them. I go. Outside is raining and my clothes are all wet. They hand me over something to wear. I change. I wear something apparently too sexy with large boots. Someone comments I shouldnít wear those improper clothes, but I say I have nothing else and wonít keep the wet clothes on.

      5:00

      University
      Walking around some university, wearing a white robe, like that of doctors. I feel like Iím studying medicine there and Iím looking for a colleague because Iím worried about a paper we should have worked on. I pass by some open and circular room which is like a small projection room. All is dark, but I see people sitting on the seats as if waiting for something. I turn the lights on and the projector which plays a movie. They thank me. I spot some guy I have a crush on but he doesnít say a word. Instead, some geeky guy I donít like, grabs my arm to thank me and asks me for a kiss. I shake him off and say no. I run to the restroom. When I see myself in the mirror, I look awfully tired. I put some make up on, but I exaggerate and then have to take it off. I go out and bump into the girl I was looking for. Itís Můnica M. I tell her Iím worried because I didnít do anything on that paper and neither she did say anything to me on that. She smiles and says ďHey, weíve finished our courses already. Forget about the paper.Ē I suddenly recall itís true, I have my degree for years. I become lucid.

      Trying to rip the dream fabric
      Dream fades and I end up on some place on the countryside where medieval dressed people seem to be building up a fair or a tournament site. There is a very high podium where two big guys are holding down some black guy and telling him he can choose either to be decapitated or thrown down that podium. He thinks the fall might give him some chance of survival so he chooses it. But itís not going to happen yet, they are still rehearsing for the big date. I notice the black guy is some known comedian, so I guess this is all just a movie set and not a real thing. I walk down a road and at some point some people pass by me running because someone stepped over some beehive and the whole colony is after them and now after me, because they brought it in my direction. But I feel no stings, because I am still ware Iím dreaming. I am bored, I jump really high over some rice paddy fields and then decide to rise in the air. From up above I try to rip apart the dream fabric. I wish to get out of the imagery but not end in the blackness. Instead I wish to go to the luminous state of mind, free from imagery, where I can meditate free from distractions. But it doesnít work. The best I can achieve is opening with my hands a little gap on the scenery from where a brief flash of light irradiates. I give up and decide to just plunge in the rice paddies, visualizing the light, hoping to meet it.

      Slaughterhouse
      I go through the blackness and suffer brief SP vibrations and sounds (a long time since it happened), then I find myself on a belt of a slaughterhouse, among dead bodies of cows, heading to a giant saw. I know itís a dream, but still the idea of being cut in half creeps me out so I jump out of the belt. There are parts of animals everywhere, blood splattered on the walls, the image is horrendous, but I try to keep calm. I make a prayer for those beings and recall the light once more. Some light invades this dark creepy room through some slits on the walls.

      The Light
      Dream fades again and I go through SP one more time. I hear a Bollywood song playing in my head and I feel gentle vibrations throughout my entire body, rising from my feet to my head. It ends with vibrations on my 3rd eye. I hold on and find myself on a very luminous landscape. Below I see grass and trees, but above the trees thereís only a very bright, radiant white light pervading everything. I wish there was only the light, so I rise up in the air, to leave the ground behind and be totally immerse in the light, with no images to distract me. I imagine myself sitting on a lotus flower in mid air. But once thereís only light in all space, my mind starts to drift and I am dragged once more into SP. Then my BF moved and woke me up.

      7:00
    2. 8 Sep: two towers town, meeting friend and social contrasts

      by , 09-09-2010 at 01:07 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING


      0:10 GMT – Sleep

      The two towers towns
      Was having a funny dream about being in this fantasy village in the woods – looked like out of Tolkien’s. On this village there was a big wooden tower and I go to it’s top. From there I can see great distances and detect that there’s another twin town of this one, with a similar wooden tower with the same height. They are like defying each other.
      I am sitting on the stairs, looking through an opening on the wall, seeing the villagers down there, the canopy, when a lady appears and I ask her about this other village and the meaning of the towers. She says it’s taboo to talk about it, they just ignore each other to avoid trouble. I find this ridiculous and I want to know more. So I fly down the tower and decide to go to the other town. I take a car and drive there (yeah, dream idiocy).
      The other town is surrounded by a fortress and I have to go up a tight zig-zag road to get to its gate. When I arrive there nobody opens the gate, nobody seems to hear me calling. So I go back in the car and fall asleep on the back seat.
      Finally at dawn I wake up hearing this guy talking to some girl, outside the car. They are looking at me and wondering what I want. I recognise the guy as being Paulo (a guy I know in RL) but he doesn’t recognise me. He seems unfriendly and upset with my presence and I want to tell him “Hey, it’s me”, but in this context I feel it would sound absurd (I am more or less aware I’m in a dream), so I just stay quiet. He decides to allow me in, but he supervises each step and actually I can’t leave his side for a second. I still have no answers and actually haven’t yet asked any questions, because he is definitely not open to conversations.


      6:30 GMT

      Meeting a friend
      I’m somewhere in a countryside town, surrounded by farmed fields. I have this impression that villagers are not very open or friendly and I just dwell. I then find this group on which I recognize H.E. (a friend I don’t see for some time).
      I remember I used to have some funny dreams with him, when we were together in college, on which we flirted
      [I believe they were shared dreams, because on the next day he would be very smiley to me and even call his real girlfriend my name by mistake, pissing her off big time. LOL. But I never asked him, afraid of looking ridiculous.]
      Because he is now working on politics (he is in RL) there’s a bunch of people around him, wanting things from him, wanting to be his friends and so on. I ask him if he can spare some time for his old friend. He is not with much availability but he agrees and we go for a walk. We talk, we fly over what seem to be daisy fields. Then we cross some tiny village streets, with clothes hanging dry, very pitoresque. He needs to go to the toilet and enters some house. I wait outside. I cross and arch at the end of the street and find a road leading out of the village. Then I see a bunch of stray dogs strolling down the road. All is fine, but then 2 or 3 cars are coming and not very slowly and I fear for the dogs, so I run to shoo them. One of them is almost hit, but escapes. Then from behind me a procession of strange animals, looking like dogs and pigs, but with geometric coloured patterns (blue, green, yellow) on their skins pass by. I wonder what is this and I follow them. Passing another arch leading to an entrance to what seems to be a farm, there’s a bunch of kids sitting on the floor, with glue, fabrics, inks and other materials. They are making these animals, like stuffed animals and when they are finished, they become alive and walk around! I find it lovely.
      I go back to get my friend to see this and then we join them. I am helping this kid making a big animal that looks like a cute monster. When his head is ready, I put it in front of my face, as if it’s a mask and make funny remarks to my friend, and it almost feels like old times. But then I get into physical affection (as a friend, not with second intentions) and he gets dead serious, not so amused anymore. He is clearly trying not to get too involved emotionally. I guess now he’s taking his relationship with his girlfriend a lot more seriously and he’s afraid we might fall into flirting like old times. I think there was no need to be so worried about it, but that his choice.
      I actually start feeling bored and again fall asleep in the dream, but since I am sitting, as soon as I feel the fall, I wake up (in the dream).


      Social contrasts
      I’m walking to some place and I pass in front of a 5-star hotel, when some handsome middle-eastern filthy rich guy gets out of his limo to go to the hotel. For a moment I feel a bit intimidated of my colliding course with him, but then I think that the sidewalk is still a public place and why should I feel intimidated just because the guy is rich? So I keep moving normally. We pass by each other and the guy actually looks very interested in me, he can’t take his eyes of me. I enjoy his attention, but know that it would never lead anywhere. For him, I might be nice to look at, but not good enough for actually get inside his life. We live planets apart. Still, I feel that this guy is about to say something to me when I hear someone shouting my name. I look around, curious and find that behind this guy’s limo is now a really ugly and old car, full of guys and they are calling me. I don’t recognize them but apparently they are my friends. They ask me if I want a ride, since we’re going to the same place (which I have no clue where it is). I think about this other guy still on hold, looking at me, but I decide to accept their invitation and hop in. I think this will show the guy I'm not really interested in his money.
      There’s not really any empty space in the car, so we basically stack on top of each other. I feel amused – there’s this guy alone in a huge limo and here we are in a tiny car like sardines in a can, but in the end I decide this life is so much more fun and rich in experiences!


      8:15 GMT – Wake up

      Updated 09-09-2010 at 01:14 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. 1 Sep: Dates and attempt to lucidify dream companions

      by , 09-02-2010 at 10:53 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID


      23:00 GMT – Sleep

      No dreams recalled

      1:30 GMT

      Late to a movie and cloned cat
      I’m with my cousin C. on her car on the way to the movies. It’s late evening and we’re already late. She is speeding and I don’t feel comfortable. I ask her to slow down. Then we really get too late and she ends up dropping me home, no movies.
      When I arrive home my cat is now two cats, although the same one. He/they are on top of the table in the living room. Then I notice the window is open and run to shut it – the cat might fall 3 floors if he decides to go for a walk. Then the table is also wobbly and I fear it breaks, so I just grab the cat – only one, the other copy runs away.


      2:30 GMT

      Stone house
      I am seeing this old stone house with Riverstone and Nighthawk. An old guy shows us the property. I don’t know what we’re doing there. The old man then leaves for a while and we start exploring every inch. Nighthawk opens a squeaky, mouldy wardrobe and finds a really old scrapbook. He invites me to sit down and look at it, as I always like this kind of stuff. So we sit down on a small dusty sofa and we start turning the pages. I really didn’t pay much attention to what is was inside. I was more focused on the body heat from the guy by my side, if you know what I mean. Then someone screams with a loud pitch voice through a small window just above our heads. I am cool, no reaction, but Nighthawk freaked out. He gets up abruptly and goes out grumpy. We approach him, making a bit fun of the situation but he is really not in a good mood. I really hate seeing him like that, looses all the charm, so I go out through an opposite door, leading to a terrace. I see the area around for the first time. It’s amazing. There’s a river way down there and a path at my right leading to other part of the village where we are. I then become lucid and instinctively fly down to this road to explore. I look to the sky and the landscape around and I am awed with the brightness and white light that permeates it. But then I look up again to the house, and there are the guys still on the other terrace looking now to me, maybe wondering how I got down there so fast. I realise they are not DC's but are actually sharing a dream with me so I decide not to go explore the dream but to go back and try to lucidify them both – would be awesome!
      I fly back and enter the house through the door I came out from. They are inside now. I tell them to go sit that I have something to tell them. They look curious and excited. They go out to that second terrace where I haven’t yet been. They sit at a wooden bench on this terrace. The landscape here is also breathtaking. Everything looks so damn real. For a moment I am in doubt if I am still dreaming – what if this is actually real and I say it’s a dream and they will mock me forever? So I do a reality check, just to be sure. I look at my hands. They look normal, besides being a bit more red than normal. But something goes wrong! “Oh no! I am waking up!” So, I woke up and despite my efforts, I couldn’t come back...


      Starting life over and love in the hay stack
      For some reason I am Rory from the Gilmore Girls and I fell on water with some other person. It’s night on some port and the situation is dangerous, although I never feel I am in danger. My mom Lorelai is looking for me, screaming for help, but I’m just there and I can get out of water whenever I want. I just decide not to. I think how convenient that everybody thinks I’m dead. This way I can be free and start all over somewhere else.
      So I leave myself be taken by the current to a place more down river. I get out and there’s a big storage house, with lots of big machines and I’m not Rory anymore, I’m myself. Then I see police coming. I think they are looking for me but no, there’s some other guy, a criminal, also coming to hide here. What are the chances? I try to hide but realize there’s no time and they will see me. So I decide to lead them to the guy, this way distracting their attention from me. I do so, the guy is arrested and they are so thankful, they don’t ask me any question. I lay down on some hay stack and rest for the night.
      Later on, it’s morning and I wake up with the sound of voices. There’s a group of people talking by the door and I spot Nighthawk among these people. Coming from the other dream? He comes to me, holds me, seduces me and asks me if I want to be his girl. I’m delighted and I play along. We’re all mushy mushy, I am enjoying it a lot, but then the dream transforms.


      High speed skating and a wild hog
      I find myself inside a car, in the driver’s seat. The car is parked on a steep hill and the break fails, so it starts sliding backwards. Yaics, I have to stop it but can’t find the break! I almost hit this group of people walking their dogs, but move the wheel barely missing them, until I finally break. I get out of the car and I go half-lucid. I don’t know where I am and why I went there from this other so pleasant dream, so I decide to have some fun. I put some inline skates and slide down the rest of the hill at high speed. I am having so much fun, I scream of contentment. I pass through a group of youngsters who is sitting on the floor meditating. I feel a bit bad for disturbing them and almost killing them, actually. I remember the face of one black girl in great detail.
      The hill ends at the gates of some park. I am trying to see what this park is when a girl with a wild hog on a leash passes by me. I am like “wow” and is everybody else around who is both afraid and fascinated with this scene. People gather around the girl and the wild hog at the gate and I can’t come in. Then a couple asks me if I know if the copy house in front is open or definitely closed. I have no clue but just by looking at it, it looks like it’s not open for a long time. I suggest they look somewhere else.


      5:10 GMT

      Fetish with traffic
      There’s this two couples who like to make love in the traffic. So while one couple drives, the other is usually on the back seat doing it. But the police has already caught them a bunch of times so they came up with this truck with a cabin made of glass walls that you can see to outside but not to the inside and they have a bed there and all – really elaborate stuff just for this fetish thing they have. I am watching them having their way from inside this cabin they are driven along a highway and across a bridge. Weird stuff. I swear I have no fetish of this kind. It reminded me the movie Crash.

      Romantic walk becomes crappy
      I find Nighthawk again and we’re in the middle of some park. It’s already late evening. I invite him to walk with me, hand in hand and try to find a quiet comfy place to sit and nestle. The walk is being quite nice but then it starts to rain. I don’t care, it is not wetting me, it’s just dream rain. But he doesn’t believe that, he is getting soaked and gets really annoyed. Tells me he wants to leave. Oh boy. Ok, let’s go. We find his mom outside the park and they decide to go have dinner at a restaurant. The dream started to suck.

      7:30 GMT – Wake up

      Updated 09-11-2011 at 10:45 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , dream fragment
    4. 25 Aug: museum city, countryside pension and a bunch of random stuff

      by , 08-25-2010 at 01:54 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

      I have been having the possibility to sleep longer, which compensates the constant awakenings during the night to write down my dreams. Still, I feel a bit tired as sometimes I wake every hour or so. My wish to recall dreams is programming my mind to wake up frequently to record them.


      23:00 GMT - Sleep

      Work meeting
      Iím at a meeting. Tables form a hollow square and I just sit in the first available place as Iím late and it already started. Itís an NGO meeting arranged by one of my former bosses. Thereís some important reason why I was invited, but I canít recall. He sees me arriving and feels a bit disturbed. Then a gap.

      Feeling sick
      All of a sudden I am sitting in a small table with food. There was someone else sitting with me but not anymore. I am on a hurry and I eat fast. Then I feel extremely sick and feel like puking. I run to the toilet, it is disgustingly filthy, but I want to puke, so who cares. When about to do it, I get better and donít arrive to do it. Two ladies that were on the toilet ask me if Iím pregnant. I say I donít think so and that Iím just sick. Then it looks like everything is balancing back and forth and I wonder if Iím on a boat. Then a girl appears (maybe she was with me before?) supposedly to help me but just says some mockery about me being sick.

      3:06 GMT

      Thoughts about having a baby
      Maybe following the previous dream in which someone asked me if I was pregnant, I remember some dream in which I was thinking/considering or imagining myself having a baby. It was more a thought than a dream.

      Priest and a talent show
      Very sketchy dream that I feel it was going on for some time but I only recall that a lady was being invited by a priest to come to Rome for a show. First I felt that this lady was my mother, but the content of the dream doesnít match her in anything. He was looking for someone with a special talent to star on some fairground show and this lady was very colourful and musically talented. Then he reinforced the invitation saying he wanted her to be there not for just one show, but indefinitely. Weird that a priest would also be a talent hunter...

      4:08 GMT

      Politician
      Just recall that I was trying to reach some politician and someone helps me getting inside the parliament or congress and Iím on the corridors looking for the right office.

      Mom ironing
      My mother is ironing some clothes and the cat wants to play with her.

      Award ceremony
      Some award ceremony scene, like the Oscars.

      Visit to aunt and my momís cat
      I park my car under a bridge close to my auntís I. home (where I donít go since a teenager). Itís night and itís a creepy place, so I keep my eyes very open to eventual robbers behind the pillars. A lady seems distressed about some cat she thinks is in trouble, not able to descend from a roof. I go to the place to check but after a while the cat jumps down, so allís fine. Then I keep going and see my mother close to my auntís garage door, our meeting point. She also brought her cat with her, which I donít think itís such a good idea. Itís a crazy unpredictable cat that gets scared at anything. But she says sheís taken him for a walk before and I trust her. The problem is that the cat decides to hit the middle of the road and I see cars coming. I freak out and run to shoo him away from the road. He does and hides under something on the other side. After the cars pass I go get him and he is so scared that he is totally peaceful and sweet Ė usually he is like a Tasmanian devil ) It was nice to cuddle him, even if it is only possible in dreams, LOL.

      6:00 GMT

      City of museums
      Iím going down a street with my mother in some foreign country and unknown city. This particular street is amazing, with dozens of museums of art, antiques, archaeology. Impressive buildings. We decide we canít visit them all but at least the last one on the street catches our attention. Itís modern art and inside I remember see this big mosaic pictures representing the elements of the periodic table. I remember clearly the Pb one (a clear derivation from a conversation I had the day before, about an ass as heavy as lead, LOL). At the museum shop there were for sale cute wind up toys and I try one out, breaking the coil spring inside. I try to fix it but it only gets a little better. I behave badly and try to get away with it, but a friend of mine comes out of nowhere and picks the same toy to try it out. I fear she is going to figure out I broke it, but she doesnít say anything. I still feel guilty and when leaving a security guy blocks me and my momís exit. But of course it wasnít because of the toy Ė he had seen her taking pictures with flash and also we were carrying backpacks, which is not allowed in the museum (somehow at the entrance they had failed to check that). But thatís all and we leave.

      7:19 GMT

      Freaky countryside pension with a secret
      Iím staying at a countryside pension, a very old looking and typical construction but I donít know of which country. Small wooden doors and windows and very low roof which I realise itís because the house goes below ground level, so we need to descend some stairs to get inside. When we enter we go directly to the kitchen which is also like common/living room, large and spacious. To go to the rooms section we need to climb 2 or 3 steps at the right side close to the back of the room.
      I feel I am here as part of a group of tourists/excursionists and everybody left already. The owners are also leaving and closing everything behind them. But for some reason (I donít remember what had happened before) I am suspicious of something going on and I want to go inside the house when theyíre not there.
      So they leave and I go back and get to enter the place. But all of a sudden the lady owner appears, with very menacing look on her face. She wants to know what I am doing there. I say my backpack is too heavy and that I came back to leave a few things behind or I wonít be able to hike around all day as expected. She weighs my backpack just to check if Iím not lying with all my teeth, but luckily the thing is really heavy and I take a few things out and leave them on the kitchen table. I leave.
      Some other day I was in the room with my boyfriend and we start kissing passionately. I throw him on the floor and want to make love to him, but behind the door there are lots of voices and I know someone might enter the place at any moment, so I refrain myself.
      On even some other day I am finally alone in the place, waiting for some fellow guests to arrive and I open the door for them. I guess I finally found what I was looking for because I am drawing a scheme of this symbol that I guess I found somewhere and means something important. Itís like a 3-leafed clover and the top leaf has a heart inside it and there are things written inside every leaf. Thatís all I can remember, because it was too detailed.


      8:00 GMT Ė Wake up

      Updated 09-06-2010 at 01:15 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment