Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Something with werewolves.

Stuck in a reality made only of "me". The floor is me, the walls are me, space is me, there's me all over and nothing else exists besides me. Talk about being egocentric... But it was afflictive and claustrophobic! I shoot some rays from my hands to blast with this reality and to get out of it.

Something about inaugurating an exhibition with some friends, but to visit it, people have to walk a thin pathway high up in the air. It's not a big success, people get really scared up there.

Something about a contest. My friend ZIlla wins the 1st prize of 45.000 EUR and the 2nd and 3rd place are disputed between me and some guy but it's about grabbing as much stuff as we can get from a pile they put in front of us. Ok, the problem is that the stuff is exclusively pharmacy stuff, like creams and band-aids.

Invading some mansion with friends. Something to do with overthrowing a sinister government. But the house is protected by an intelligent system who recognizes faces, detects intruders and shoots lasers at us. One of the girls, who looks like Carrie-Ann Moss, is pierced by a laser in the chest. It is not a fatal wound, but leaves her close to death anyway. We retreat and try to carry her with us, but there are guards everywhere, so we have to hide her at some kind of wooden box in the garden with some bread to eat and we have to leave, promising to come back to rescue her.
Eventually, me and another guy are caught and jailed, but one day, at an infirmary at the 2nd floor, we manage to escape through the window. We are cuffed to each other, but we manage to run away into the city. Soon the entire city is under siege and we have to hide, so I leads us into some nearby friend house. Although it is a private It is more like a commune. It's always full of people, discussing politics, poetry soirées, etc. My friend lets us in very discretely without anybody seeing and takes us to the attic. At first we just planned to stay a few hours, but he discusses this with 1 or 2 trusted friends and they decide to hide us there for a couple of months, do us a make-over and organize our escape when things have calmed down outside.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

21:30 GMT+9 – sleep

My biggest fear
On some strange shop (like some Japanese shops I’ve been at) with really attractive cakes and sweets, but I couldn’t really tell if that’s what they were. Then a guy on the shop is taken down a corridor and told there’s a test to him. Behind a big door at the end of the corridor is the scariest thing that has ever haunted his dreams. In his case he says he used to play a game with his friends in which they’d hide and seek and the one seeking the others would incarnate a scary character they’d call the fog-man, a mythical creature that would take away the soul of the one found by him – and then this kid would replace the fog-man in his role. The man said he used to have nightmares with the real fog-man taking his soul. Then the people overseeing this test told this man that whatever he’d find behind that door would be his own mind’s creations and therefore if he was certain of that, they wouldn’t possibly harm him, but if he failed to recognise that... The door opened and out of it came a dense thick fog. He entered and the door was closed.
I also wanted to play. I opened the door and there was still fog but no signs of the man. The fog disappeared. I tried to think about what is that scares me the most and had this vague feeling of something unknown and scary coming out of the darkness and attacking me but before it would materialise I decided I was in the control of my mind and therefore no fear would take over. Then all the fog and light darkness dissipated and I found myself in an empty room with a mirror and a door. I positioned myself in front of the mirror, saw my reflexion. I was dressed in white and yellow and although I looked a bit strange it was still my normal look, no monstrous face or anything of the kind. I’m semi-lucid and I dance a little bit both to increase lucidity and test my image on the mirror. I manage to prolong lucidity but it is still weak in terms of control. Not sure about what to do I decide to summon all of the people I know through the door. Soon I start seeing people from my past, present acquaintances, family, “enemies”. I can’t tell if everyone is there, it would be impossible, but soon they start interacting with me.
I lose lucidity. I am with my aunt India and my friend Zilla. Zilla decides to call my old friend Mara, whom I don’t see since her wedding. Her brother answers the phone. Zilla doesn’t say a word and he gets upset. He hads the phone over to Mara in the hope the person will talk to her. She asks “who’s there?” and I can see both people on each side of the line now. I tell Zilla this is a stupid game and I don’t see the point of it. Mara then thinks she knows who can be and gets very worried. She says “don’t worry, I will come for you. I’ll help you.” Obviously she thought someone in distress was needing her help. I tell Zilla to please stop it and just say something on the phone!
Then I am engulfed by a lot more people I know and there’s this lady, who’s my opponent in my work and hates my guts, among them. When I see her I remember we were both at a same party some past time and we talked to each other when we were so drunk already and our hate transformed into attraction and we had kissed. I was wondering how could we still be mad at each other after that. We had been stripped down from our divergences and connected as human beings, but here we were still as enemies.
Then I’m outside in some big city with skyscrapers and neon lights. I enter a van and someone else is by my side. Zilla is on front seat by the side of the driver. She hands me over a synthesizer she bought but I already have other things on my lap I also bought and she feels angry with my refusal to take up more stuff.
Then on some kind of mall I see a lady doctor famous in my country who is giving an interview about birth and how women should embrace hospital methods instead of this trend of natural child birth at home, cause so much can go wrong and they need medication and blah-blah. I go to her and make a phenomenal speech to counterbalance – not radical, but very well balanced I refute her ideas that seem to approach giving birth as being seriously ill. Then my friend Zilla and others come with a more radical attitude and start making hate speech and mess up everything. I later ask why they did it and they said I sounded to compromising. I told them I had simply used skilful means to pass the message across without conflict. By then I have a group of followers and admirers but among this group there are a few who don’t understand my way of doing things and always create a fuss. I’m on some high room with view over some kind of inner court. People are down there celebrating the result of some football (soccer) game and I comment loudly about the frivolity of such celebration. They get upset. They accuse me of being peaceful and moderate to the outside but quite radical inside and that the radical activists that are around me just reinforce that I am a secret extremist. As I seek to be alone to digest such accusations, these two radical friends of mine follow me and I scream at them to leave me alone, that it is their fault people think such things of me. Walking down a street I encounter another guy that went to school with me. We talk and I conclude the big issue here to be solved is if I am becoming what my father said I would become or the opposite of that. Am I an extremist under disguise or am I really becoming moderate and if so, am I moderate in the sense my father preached (which resembled too much with conformity) or am I moderate due to wisdom and maturity? As I wander through these philosophical matters, I conclude, after all this dream sequence, that my biggest fear of all, is to become like my father or the person my father wants me to be.

03:00 GMT+9

Cat stapled
My cat is showing some discomfort. I cuddle him and find a staple on his belly. I take it off gently. My mom is upset and worried and I search for more. I find lots of staples on his skin. We don’t know how this happened and feel sorry for the poor fellow.

Friends and relationships
I’m in the middle of a crowd who’s watching a movie on an open air cinema. I am by the side of two old girl friends from school and all is fine until it starts raining. At first it’s ok, but my friends start complaining it’s raining too much and open an umbrella. Then not even that is enough and they want to leave. But I’m just fine. The rain is not really wetting me and I say it is just dream rain. Still they leave and I decide to go along. Didn’t go lucid.
Then sitting around a wooden rectangular table with my friends. One is Mara and she says her husband calls her names and I assume he is also violent with her. She asks for advice and I say she needs to get away from him, but she doesn’t want to. Then he also joins the table and I change subject but she says we can go on, that she doesn’t want to make it a secret. My other friend present doesn’t understand this, thinks he’ll get mad and beat her up later but I say maybe she wants to confront him but can’t do it alone, so we should help. He says he likes her, but she didn’t reveal to be the woman of his dreams and so he gets angry sometimes out of frustration. I ask him why doesn’t he simply leave her and go look for that dream woman? I say if my dream guy was Brad Pitt, I would go after him, no matter what and not beat some other guy for not being Brad Pitt. He feels embarrassed by seeing the ridiculous and we laugh together.
Then my boyfriend comes up and he insists on having sex immediately. I don’t think it is appropriate and also I feel like he wants to force me like a punishment for something. He drags me to some room and rips my clothes off but I get really upset with his attitude and I escape from him. Outside I meet this guy who I had a crush for in highschool. I am happy to see him and I follow him. He is climbing some steps to go inside a house. I go to. It’s like an antique shop but with rooms. I lie down on some sofa, my friend who was with me on the wooden table before is here now again and notices my interest in this guy. She says I should go for it right now but I feel bad, I just said no to my boyfriend. Then the guy comes to me and ask if I have some deodorant. I find that question completely dislocated but my friend says he is really into me and wants to be fragrant for me. I feel yuc!

06:00 GMT+9 – wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

0:55 GMT – Sleep

“Gay” friends
I’m with mom, coming out from her home, down the ramp to the main road. Once again I hope not to cross with this neighbour I had a crush for many years ago. Me and mom then drive to some city that looks like Brussels but a lot more colourful. We are looking for a place to eat but we have difficulty passing with the car to the area we want to go (because of traffic limitations) and then we spend a lot of time looking for parking. We just decide to go back home and cook something, because we’re already running out of time to go somewhere.
Later on I’m visiting this 2 friends. They are metrosexual guys in their 30’s who live together and everybody thinks are gay. I know they aren’t but they don’t seem to convince anyone else. One of them is on the phone with an old aunt and she is asking him if he still lives with his friend – hopeful that he might be finally living a straight life with a girl friend. He gets the innuendo in her voice and he replies a bit abruptly that yes he is living with his friend but they are not “living” together. He says he is tired of trying to explain but he no longer cares what they think but I don’t believe him. I sense he is still upset.

Friend from Iceland
With a group of friends in some kind of waiting room. One girl in the group who has family in Iceland was supposed to be going there but I hear on the news that there was another volcanic eruption and her village is in flames and many people are dead. She actually laughs at me when I go back to the room and tell her, but I tell her I’m not joking. She then gets upset and the others are comforting her..
Later I go down the corridor of this place (looks like an airport waiting room) and I enter a staff only area. I pass by some offices and I am aware I’ll be asked what I am doing there if someone sees me. So, logically I decide to sit on a sofa at the entrance of one of the far end offices, just on top of some stairs going down. There’s someone inside the office and I am nervous but decide to stay there. I see a table with magazines and maps and pick up something. Then some lady comes up the stairs and asks me if I such and such person who has an appointment now. She is psychologist. Apparently I wanted to pretend I was such person but I fail to keep the lie and she starts suspecting. I just look at what I have in my hand and it is a map of Ghent (in Belgium). I recognize the streets and the main area around the bigger canal and I decide to jump off this dream and land there.

British royalty
I enter the map and land in front of the canal. I feel amused, I’m slightly aware that I am dreaming and decide to jump on the water with a huge splash. I have some fun and then realise there’s some sort of gathering or parade on the city. The British royalty is present and I see Prince Charles on a carriage parading in front of people. But the most interesting is that I spot the Queen and the Queen-mother under disguise following him on foot through the middle of the public. I wonder why nobody else noticed that already and I also wonder what they are up to. Then the Queen-mother feels sick. In the middle of the crowd no one seems to notice, but Prince Charles knows and jumps off the carriage and goes pick her up. The public is still not aware of what’s going on but a bunch of body-guards come from all over the place to surround them. The prince takes his granny up on his arms to a van nearby and they run fast to avoid people starting grabbing and pushing when they realise who is walking among them.

5:30 GMT

Sleeping over and sharing room
I’m sleeping over at some guy’s house with a 2nd guy. The house owner is an older guy, foreign, tall with grey hair and the second guy is Manuel, shorter, with glasses and round face, whom I know – he is a politician.
For some reason I don’t grasp we’re sharing the same room and the 2 guys are on the same bed and left space for me to join them – nothing sexual intended, just sleeping. But still I feel extremely uncomfortable and just sit on the floor writing on my paper DJ. I turn my face to sneeze and I expel really disgusting green and brown goo that dirties the wall. Manuel woke up and sees it and feels disgusted, but his reaction is to pretend he is still sleeping and didn’t see anything. I try to clean it up with Kleenexes but it’s not working. Then the older guy wakes up and helps me out. He goes get a wet tissue and I am able to clean the mess. But either he is upset that I woke him up or also feeling disgusted, he goes to the living room and watches TV. It’s around 5 am and I tell him he should go back asleep but he doesn’t even reply. I realise we are talking in English but the guy speaks Portuguese and the other is also Portuguese, so I say “sorry for speaking in English but it just comes natural for me and the guy smiles and says it’s the same for him.”

7:00 GMT

Hot air balloon
With a group of youngsters, I look at the sky and see some strange clouds, in the shape of medusas. We think it’s a UFO and then one lands on the ground nearby and from inside it comes a second bunch of youngsters. They are totally excited, they come to us and say they’ve just had a ride on an hot air balloon and that we must go to.
The group I’m with gets totally convinced and decides to go. A tram arrives to take them to the balloon. They ask me if I wanna join. I first say no, that the experience of being up on the air is not new to me and I don’t see much the point. But they insist and I finally agree. I also enter the tram. As I enter the tram, the driver, an old gentleman with white moustache smiles at me and tells me the ticket costs 6 EUR. I sit by the side of a little girl who is more scared than excited and I tell her it will be ok. We arrive at the top of a hill but the balloon is on the ground, not yet filled with hot air and we feel disappointed.

Medical centre in home town
I’m inside a village medical centre. I’m near the desk, I think waiting for my turn. My mom is also there and we make shifts on the queue. She is telling everybody I have an appointment with Dr. Fernando Nobre – he is a doctor but I don’t think he practices anymore, he is the director of an international NGO and is currently running for the presidency, so I don’t really understand why I supposedly have an appointment with him. My attention is attracted to this lady on the desk, she is in her 60’s and she is speaking Russian and German to the patients who come talk to her. I feel impressed, because from my experience these ladies on the medical centre’s desk are usually quite ignorant and impolite. I see on the desk a basket of apples for people to take. I take one and I am surprised to find it is organic. I also see these posters on the wall announcing some organic fair or convention. Are they finally teaching people about real healthy options in life? I feel so surprised. As I wonder about these things I turn to my left and meet this hippie-ish couple. I think she is pregnant and we start talking about these “organic developments”. I then go outside to get some fresh air and I pass by all these people from my home town – girls from my school now with kids, fat and totally dull. I don’t want to judge people but they are totally judging me. They look at me from head to toes, with disapproving yet jealous looks. I then see my reflection on the glass wall – I am almost in my warrior me: short dark hair, dressed in black and red, so totally different from them, like worlds apart. I think how I cherish my adventurous life and couldn’t settle with a desk job 9 to 5 and marrying and having kids and living back in home town. I feel grateful but I am also aware this is ego cherishing and I should not feed it.

8:20 GMT – Wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

0:15 GMT – sleep

Nothing...

4:45 GMT

Tango and vampire attack
I’m on a dance classroom. People are learning tango. Teacher evaluates us and I suck. I leave the floor and decide to go to a window check the outside. I am wearing a black cape and then I see a bunch of vampires about to enter and attack everybody.
I remember clearly one vampire sucking the blood from one girl who is actually delighted. The vampire sensed her joy and stops to ask her why is she happy. She doesn’t say but I guess she is happy with the prospective of also becoming a vampire. They take her away, don’t know if to make her wish come true, but all the others are killed. I realise then I’m one of them, because they don’t do me nothing. Still, I don’t kill, I’m a benign vampire and in fact feel bad about this killing.

5:40 GMT

Ego burst and reconciliation
I’m walking with mom and my friend Christof by my side. We cross a train station platform and I see this bunch of card boxes full of stuff someone abandoned there. I guess for others to take whatever they wish. I start taking a look at it but mom discourages me, thinks it’s not suitable for me to do it, that’s for poor people. How stupid, I love getting used stuff from others. I find a nice vase and a minipimer. She is now really pulling me away from it but I insist in seeing the rest. Then I find boxes full of my childhood stuff. I feel totally upset – these are things that only my mother could have taken here. But when I want to confront her, she is gone somewhere and my friend says we should go meet her now. But I feel totally angry and can’t really face her right now, so I just leave to the opposite direction. But first pick up some of my stuff, put it on a bag and hand it over to my friend.
I then pass by this people from my village (that’s when I realise all this is taking place there) and they are talking about me on my back. I hear them commenting how I work abroad and so on, like if it’s a big deal for small town folks. But then I hear a sarcastic comment saying “Yeah, but I heard she doesn’t make much money.” What??? I’m totally pissed – what do these people have to do with my life anyway? I scream to them that I make loads of money, travel a lot for free around the world and have an amazing life. Then (WTF) I scream that I am also planning to join the army or the navy (whatever).
I keep walking way but this anger and hurt ego do not last for long and soon I worry that my mother will freak out not knowing where I went and my foreign friend also. Can’t make them feel sick of worries, so I just go back. I find my friend on the door of this shop where my mom was, trying to get me on the phone, totally despaired that his cell phone is almost battery dead and that my mom doesn’t speak english. He hugs me, relieved. My mom is inside. We don’t talk, as she is still mumbling about all that stuff being just garbage that I’m attached to, but I’m already totally cool about it. Already let go of the possessions she gave away. People matter more than objects.
Then Christof tells me the shop keeper (a cute lady) has been totally nice to him, asking his name, where he comes from and so on. But I tell him that’s not the normal way they deal with costumers and that she was totally flirting with him.

6:55 GMT – wake up