Lucid-schizo-dreamer

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID


22:45 GMT - Sleep

Subway
I am going to the subway. Apparently I don’t want to pay and try to enter anyway, but I have no choice but to go to the ticket machine and buy one. Then I slide it through the validation machine and it is rejected several times. I am getting pissed off and when it finally opens up I run to the train. Then I realise I’m on the wrong side and jump to the tracks to get the train that is about to close the doors and leave on the other platform. I manage not to get killed and I get into the train.

A fairy tale
I am this poor shepherdess girl but beautiful like no other. All men, from all walks of life, want me and desire me. The latest one trying to conquer me is this rich sheik offering me a palace and riches. He says I’ll be the first and most important lady of his harem. Yeah, yeah, but I decline. They keep coming but I am in love with this other poor working guy. He is so brave and all but because I’ve been courted by so many princes and rich guys he just decided I’m too good for him and he chickens out. So one day I decide to launch a challenge – the one who takes all my sheep to sell somewhere far away in an exotic land and having to cross all sort of dangerous places and experiences, will be the one I’ll marry. I’m totally convinced he will manage and all the other rich guys in their palaces have no chance. But then I also wonder: did I do the right thing? I mean, the other guys are just city dwellers but they have the resources and this guy just has his passion and his guts... Oh well, let’s hope for the best.

0:30 GMT

Breakfast outside
The beginning is fuzzy. I was entering this lobby of a building that looked either a clinic or an office building. There’s a desk in front and some columns. I contour them and realise it is a circular corridor around this desk, along which there are doors leading somewhere. There’s also this sliding window-door leading to an interior terrace/garden. I have no clue what I am doing here. [gap]
Then the next scene seems to be in the outside terrace/garden. There are long tables with food on it. People are having breakfast there and I decide to join and eat something to. I find no place to seat but just grab some food. Strangely there are fried fish and other fried salty foods. I’m not used to that, I always eat fruits or muesli. I find a plate of “pataniscas” (a Portuguese dish that actually originated the Japanese vegetables “tempura”) and I grab one. I circulate around the tables looking for some more treats.

Laser show on a corn field and compassion for a heart broke
I’m now on the outside of this big building, looks like a huge barn or maybe it is the inn from previous dream. Now the long tables and long benches are in front of it and I’m sitting in one, turned to a corn field just in front. There’s a lot of chatting and laughter and I realise just close to me is my prep school sweetheart M. I am aware he just looks like when he was a kid and I know I am no longer a kid. Although I don’t become fully lucid, I know this is not real. He is just playing an old scene that happened with us. Because I’m not paying attention to him, he is also ignoring me but I see that he wants desperately to talk to me. So there is something that triggers general amusement and makes him look to my side and he uses the opportunity to smile at me and start conversation. I feel so much compassion for him. I feel “Gosh, poor guy, the suffering he went through those days just to get my attention.” I really loved him, I really did. But for some really complex reasons I said no when he later asked me to be his girl. This breaks my heart even more when I look at him there, so innocent. I feel no other emotions but compassion for him and some sadness that I can’t go back and tell him it was all so unnecessary, that he was loved, that he was free and that he didn’t need me.
At this point I shut him off from the dream and look to the corn field thinking how nice would be to see some UFOs in the sky, or making a crop circle or whatever. So then I see this lights moving around in the field and get excited. But then the lights forms the shape of doves and I realise it’s just some laser show projected on the corn wall. It’s cool but not what I had in mind.

Hill on fire, random stuff and the fairy’s house
Now it is daylight and warm. I’m also in the countryside, but I recognize it as some hills not far from my childhood home. I see red flames behind the hill in front of me. A fire! I want to see it closer and help whatever way I can to end it. I am with my mom and other people, but the others don’t care and keep moving on. My mom is the only one joining me.
I find firemen but the main fire is still far. Just a few patches of burning grass here and there and I grab some wet towel and starting extinguishing these little fires. As I go uphill I encounter a playground full of children and I wonder how it wasn’t yet evacuated. I keep going up and now I find a big white tent and inside is my aunt Lisa fighting a small fire to. I help her and keep moving up. Then I find a precinct where some festival is taking place and once again I wonder why aren’t people being evacuated. There are some reporters looking for someone to interview and I hardly manage to escape them. “MY god, there’s a huge fire raging just behind this! Does nobody know?” On some other tent there are a few fat guys eating and watching a movie about pig farms. They are discussing how useful it is to cut the pig’s nose. I see the images of that and I feel disgusted - like, what else are these guys going to come up with to inflict pain on the animals? I interrupt their lunch and tell them what I think. They are completely caught by surprise and think that I must be crazy.
I get out from the back of the tent and I find myself in a house. Tiny, with dirty corridor and I see this guy looking at me with very unfriendly. I have to find and exit fast. I find this interior yard and try to get out of there – I’ll have to climb the wall. So I start climbing and it’s not really a plain wall, it’s more like a very steep hill, with rocks, concrete blocks, all sort of pipes and wires... Then a couple joins me in the escape – it’s the guy’s wife and her “friend”.
When I arrive on the top, I am on top of a cliff looking over large planes. To my left though, there is an even higher ground. There are a few stairs that I climb and then I’m on this patio in front of a very cute house with vases of flowers. It’s lovely. I recognise it as the fairy’s house! I remember being there before and I feel very emotional.

2:20 GMT

Stalking Björk
I’m with my mom eating breakfast in an Inn and watching TV. There’s a story playing about this polish (?) guy who is in Portugal shooting a movie with Björk. They interview her and she looks so cute: By coincidence they are interviewing them at his home, which apparently is close to where I am with my mom. I am a huge fan so when we’re driving around during the day my mom keeps an eye of every house trying to spot the one of this guy. I think that’s stupid, but then she spots it behind some bushes. She turns right to that street. I see kids playing in the front yard a lady coming out of the garage and they do look polish or something like it. I really feel uncomfortable – what are we doing exactly?
So we go back to the Inn. After a few days we are cycling around with a friend in a funny bike for 3 people. I spot a group of strange people and I think I saw Björk disguised in the middle of them. Whoever that was, they had fun when they saw us biking. I thought I was going to sop with the stalking.
I pass a crossroad and stop on the side of the road for a while. Coincidently again, a car stops and a bunch of girls, two of them my old friends from school, Lic and Patty. They want directions to somewhere and I tell them we’re on vacation in the area but we also don’t know much about the surrounding places. We have a quick chat and I come back to the Inn.

4:50 GMT

Dutch people and stray animals
Maybe still on the same village as before, I’m walking around with mom and some friend of hers. We pass by a sports club, but it is dutch. There are these board on the wall with names and dates and my mom asks me what it is and I explain it looks like football matches. I get bored and ask to leave. So we keep walking and find an entrance to a residential with restaurant, followed by an entrance to a farm. All seems to be of the same dutch people.
Then I see my father. What is he doing here? Apparently some work related to the dogs and cats in the area. He tells me of how many pets are abandoned by people in this area but also that there’s a shift in people’s mind because there’s also an increase in people who report the cases of their neighbours who do it.
Later we’re on the road, I guess to go home.

Crystal out of my nose
Then a dream fragment. I was cleaning my nose and a huge crystal comes out of it – nice. Then I make some health recommendations to someone.

6:00 GMT

Family reunion
I am at home and my uncle F. and his wife are there too. I am ironing clothes and I hear them talking about absolutely ignorant things and I say to them something like the market and capitalism being a total illusion and that for them to be happy they had to completely let go of that illusion and just be free. I say it is something basic and obvious and not a matter for discussion, but they don’t buy it. Oh well. I later go to the toilet to find out that one of the walls is now half destroyed. I am told someone fell agains the wall and I think “wow, should be a really heavy person”. I touch it and it ends falling apart completely. So, no toilet.

Space research institute
Then I’m visiting this centre, it looks like a research institute or a university. I’m on this big room with guys sitting at desks and prototypes everywhere. There’s a really interesting movie playing on a computer screen and I sit down watching it. It is a mix of Blade Runner and Star Wars, but supposedly refers to real life. They are talking about this Death Star that is in orbit on our planet – really? Apparently it is pointed to or being commanded by the White House - this part was not clear.
Then I realise I’m sitting at this guy’s desk and he comes in and looks at me like “What are you doing here?” But I don’t say a word, I just sit in another chair and try not to get in his way. Then a group of students come and grab chairs and also come to watch this film. They all look at me like I don’t belong there and I know I don’t, but I’m having fun, so just let me be! Then a door opens behind us – there’s a toilet there – and a totally naked guy comes out of it. People find it bizarre, but not enough to stop him or cover him. He is complaining that he can’t shit, that he has a serious case of constipation and I find all this hilarious. I follow him and then I understand what’s going on. He was trying to save his marriage but he caught his wife cheating on him with this colleague from the institute and just freaked out. Now he is a bit nuts. Eventually he even crosses with his wife on the hallway and she is chatting with her lover when she sees her naked husband. I feel pity for this guy. Probably a brilliant mind that flipped.

7:45 GMT – Wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Yesterday was exhausting, so I had difficulties in recalling last night's dreams. On the first dream-phase I know I had 3 or 4 dreams, but no matter how much I try to recall, I just have vague feelings. In the morning all I could remember from these first dreams was one bit that was lucid.

Lucid mirror manipulation
Not a big deal as I have had many lucid dreams a lot more interesting, but hey, it's was lucid so it's important to mention. I got lucid when looking in a mirror. It happens a lot, even if the image is just perfect. There was somebody else with me and I wanted to show this person we were dreaming so I put my hand on the mirror until it became soft and I could put my fingers and hand through it. Then for some stupid reason, I decided I wanted to try its taste! SO I grabbed a little bit of liquified glass in my hand and touched it with my mouth. It got stuck in my teeth, as caramelized sugar and solidified around it. Imagine, glass teeth! I'm sure it would look cool, but the sensation was not so comfortable, so then I lost lucidity trying to get it off my teeth. How stupid.

Guesthouse with lots of guests I know
On my second dream-phase I also don't recall the beggining. But I was visiting some city (recurrent dream I have, always travelling somewhere). I can only remember well from the moment I entered the place where I was lodged. I had to insert a code on the door to be able to enter and I was afraid I didn't know what it was and would have to sleep outside. [semi-lucid] I kinda knew I was in a dream and that is why I had no idea of the code. But I tried the one from a place in Germany where I was staying a few months ago and it worked. Nice. So I entered this place, it was very late in the night and there was no soul around. I went to a room that was available - no idea if it was mine or not, but I had to rest. I thought it was extremely nice place and apparently costed 50 EUR per night, which I thought was not that cheap but also not so expensive for the conditions it had.
I hear some voices in the corridor so I open the bedroom door and I saw a bunch of my old colleagues from the university. Somehow they were now like some characters from Grey's Anatomy. They were interns in med-school (althoug we are actually biologists) and were all leaving in the middle of the night to go watch and learn some important surgery.
I go back to my room and there is this strange vintage curtain over the bed. I pick it up and realise it would make a lovely dress (dresses seem to also be a recurrent theme), so I try to transform it and try it out, when two girls start entering my room. Apparently it was theirs or they are also trying to find one that is empty. But one of them is a girl I know for many years called Diana. We talk a little bit but the conversation ends around the dress I was trying to make. I look in the mirror and I look incredibly fat on it - usually in my dreams I'm incredibly hot - and they seem disgusted, and comment that such nice dress on a fat lady is just wrong. I think that I'm not that fat but didn't realise it was a dream-effect.

The Pope and buddhist monks
Later on I am wandering on this guesthouse which is now huge like a city in itself. I found myself in a part of it that is castle like. I don't remember the details but I am now with my buddhist teacher and some buddhist monks. I am wearing robes like the ones of the monks but actually they have 3 colours: red, yellow and aqua-blue. When I am still starting to figure out how I and them got there, passes by us on a corridor a bunch of catholic priests and monks and then the Pope. Lots of people with candles follow them and we do that to. We all end up on a room. [This was clearly resulting from a conversation I had with my dad during the day. He doesn't accept very well that I'm buddhist so I asked him if he'd feel more happy that I was catholic. He is an atheist so that would be even more hideous to him]. The Pope is conducting a mass and even the buddhist monks are paying attention and respects and I think, maybe I should do the same, but for some reason I don't feel any devotion towards this guy as I do feel for my teacher. Then I hug my teacher wholeheartedly. Of course he is only my projection and that is why he doesn't react. I notice that his robes are the exact opposite of mine (in terms of colour disposition) and I can't help to realise the parallel with the Da Vinci code theory about the clothes of JC and Magdalene on the Last Supper. I hear all of the mass and then the Pope and everybody else leaves. When I pass in front of a giant mirror in a hallway, the way that my half-buddhist robes are now falling, instead of folded, I realise that I look so much like Virgin Mary. And I look beauuutiful.

[ Prince of Persia
I'm now on top of what looks like a curtain wall of the guesthouse turned into castle. There's a lot of commotion on the street down there. The earth is shaking a bit and a huge scar appears on the ground. On the other side of the street there's more of this castle like construction and a gate leading to its inside. There's a big banner announcing Prince of Persia (I guess the movie). A guy appears behind me and invites me to go cross the other castle. Apparently it is already closed as it is night but he knows some way to get inside. I go think about it but first I go back to the guesthouse inside to rest or change clothes or whatever.

Peeing and the black hair girl again
Again in the guesthouse, which is becoming more palace like each minute, I try to find a toilet. I finally get to one but when I'm already going to seat on the toilet I realise there's a girl in the shower. But she is just sitting there, with clothes on and I'm not sure what she's doing there. I look at her and recognise the girl with the long straight balck hair from yesterday's dream on a cave. She just tells me to go ahead and pee. I do it and it actually relieved me a lot. But here I got semi-lucid and realise that I could be peeing myself in bed! I think "I hope not". but continue living the dream.

Marriage
After the toilet scene I was again going up and down exploring the guesthouse and found myself in a huge ballroom where a marrige was being celebrated. Mostly old people were there but also a few youngsters. I realise everybody is looking fancy and I'm on sabrinas with socks and decide at least to take the socks out. Some young girl laughs at me because I took at least 5 socks from one foot. Then I sit on a table with the young people and one the boys invites me for something. Actually I think it's the one that wanted to visit the castle in front. Apparently he is quite a playboy and only the hot girls get his attention so everybody is either surprised or envious that he is flirting me. I mean, not that I'm ugly, but I'm in a palace, on a marriage, with 5 pairs of socks...

Kill Bill
In the last dream-phase of the night I was inside the Kill Bill movie. I don't know if it started before, but remember only being under the ground with Uma Thurman. I felt like I was her but watching her from the outside at the same time. She was pissed and trying to get to the surface. Unlike the movie, in this dream there was a guy by her grave just ensuring she was really dead and buried. Then, like in a zombie movie, she put her hand outside, the guy freaked out but had no time to run, she grabbed him by the neck, beat him up and threw him on the grave hole left by her. He was K.O. for some time but when he was waking up, she threw on him an explosive. His eyes popped out with despair when he saw death coming and she pressed a button and kabum! Then I though - wow, that was mean and I would definetly not do it. I'm just watching, I'm not really her. Then I was not having fun anymore and woke up.

When I woke up and was trying to remember all the details of the dreams to write it down, I then opened my eyes and the face of this girl in black hair was still hovering in front of me on the ceiling. Who is she? Maybe she's been on my dreams for a longer time but only know that I'm recalling many more of them I noticed her presence. Or maybe she is just a dreamer that started now sharing dreams with me. If you're out there, I hope to find you