Lucid-schizo-dreamer

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

So I have decided to just post the more intesresting nights. I just have so many notes on my paper DJ and have no time to type them all to post on DV. It's a pity, because many potential shared dreams are left out, but it's just impossible for me to keep up...

23:30 GMT

Fighting a sinister character
The feeling I have is that I’m aware I’m dreaming and I’m experimenting something with the dream and with the DCs, but I don’t remember being lucid.
I remember from the point in which I’m in a very dark room with a very gloomy DC. I’m not afraid, because I have this underlying feeling it is a dream and because it has something to do with freeing other from the illusion that he can hurt them. We’re maybe measuring forces, but he wins, because all of a sudden he manages to kidnap all other DCs (I think they were dreamers) and lock them inside some sort of pitch dark dungeon. I’m left outside on some dark corridors and I can feel their presence behind a thick and humid stone wall. I can’t cross this wall, but I find a spot where I can send a rope through it in the hope people will grab it and use it to escape out. But it doesn’t work and at some point even that week spot (kind of portal) closes in and they are totally isolated.
But I don’t give up. I climb the wall and near the ceiling I find it is a kind of false ceiling and I can enter it and crawl over this room where they are imprisoned. For a moment everything shakes violently but the place holds on. I find some entrance point, just by some big lamp hanging from the ceiling. Using again the rope, I go down and I find in there my parents, grandparents and some kids with their own families. My grandpa is proud of me, but when I say up is the only exit, he gets disappointed.
Then the bad guy comes in and we fight and there’s some nonsensical scene with toy choppers and dinosaurs. I think he wins, because then he controls where we go next and he takes us all by car to my home village. There’s some sort of happening there, very public and he intends to humiliate me. There’s a group of kids dressed in a funny way singing some strange song about fruits –their group name is something like applepearnutsandgingerbread – and the guy tells me my job is to go join them and sing along. I say no way, but I’m not really feeling mortally embarrassed, I just find it stupid. But I go and I kind of sabotage the whole thing for not being so upset – it was meant to crush me, but I actually find it embarrassing-funny. And all of a sudden thousands of people appear out of nowhere and invade the village with banners and posters and they disrupt the whole thing. The bad guy disappears and me and my family take refuge in a building just on top of a staircase in front of us – like the town hall or something.

2:00 GMT

Gibberish, gibberish and Buddha’s blessings
I’m in Australia or New Zealand or even the Cayman Islands... I don't know, but people speak English. And I find my ex-friend Vera. We talk briefly about what we’ve doing with our lives and then we take a bus to go home together. Our home town is suddenly just a bus ride away from this remote place we were visiting. When we arrive there, there’s a tornado ripping it a part, which hits the bus very briefly. People are in panic and I open the bus door and tell everybody to get out. I run to the door of my mom’s building. When I get there I look back to see if anybody else is coming so I can hold the door for them, but nobody’s coming. Then a friend comes but to say “Hey, you left the bus without paying for your ticket”. “Are you kidding? We’ve been hit by a tornado and you’re worried about that?” He says everybody else paid for their tickets, that’s why they are taking so long to arrive. I think that’s totally absurd and I think I’m about to become lucid, when I see my black cat escaping through the door I left open. I run after him and catch it. I head to the elevator and intend to go to the 9th floor (although in reality, my mom’s only 4 floors). Anyway, I open the elevator door and it’s a fridge with shelves. I take away the shelves so we can enter it but then I have to put the cat on the floor and that’s when I notice this cat is totally white and with blue eyes – not my cat at all, I could I have made such a mistake? I let the poor kitten go his way and he jumps right out of a window that is on my side. Then there’s some guy packing the elevator with books. He says he is moving and I say I need to go to 9th floor and ask for priority – he can ship his books later. He disagrees and says I can go with the books. “How do you do that? No space!” He insists and pushes me in, trying to fit me with the books and hurting me in the process. I say I give up. I look through the window again and I see a park outside, green grass. I think I float outside the window and as I walk this park, this book guy ends up joining me and we’re having a very melancholic kind of walk – I’m still mad at him but at the same time I like him a lot, and we walk in silence. Then two ladies I know touch me in the shoulder and tell me there is some Buddhist event taking place just nearby and I decide to follow them. I turn back and see a bridge on my left and a building on my right. In front of this building and facing the bridge, there’s a kind of alter with something being shown – among other things, there’s a special box which I’m told contains the cornea of a Buddha. It does looks like a dried cornea and I think “If it is genuinely the relic of a Buddha, then may the blessings from seeing it shower down on all sentient beings.” I had no time to get lucid, but I was then fully conscious when I made that wish and I felt those blessings flowing to me like an electrical current, when I woke up.

6:00 GMT

Jumping mirror portals
Doing tourism in what seems to be France. I’m loosely following a group, but I get stranded and just roam alone for a few streets. Then I encounter a second group and because they seem to know where they’re going, I follow them. They are being guided by a French girl who leads them into an old church. We pass a front door and an entrance lobby and there’s a group of steps to go down to a desk to buy ticket. I start floating and I look to my right and I recognize one of the guys on the tour. He looks at me like he also recognizes me and I get lucid. I decide I will not simply sit down and instead I want to go to the moon, because I haven’t been there. I can then meditate in the biodome, by the koi pond. Why not? I turn back and on my way out I see a mirror on the wall and use it to jump. First I try to summon my warrior me, but the way I look doesn’t change and I don’t care, as long as I arrive there. I jump and all goes black. I have this freefall sensation for a little longer than usual and I start feeling SP effects. Strangely, instead of loud horrible noises, I start to hear amazing celestial music, like I never heard before. I am totally high with this music, when I feel like I landed somewhere. I feel I am there on the moon, but all is still dark and when I try to open my eyes I feel my “real” eyes opening, so I stop and just wait. Then a place forms in front of my eyes but it is not the moon, but some room and there’s a couple there. The guy is lying down on the bed and she is tending over him. They are surprised to see me and are about to address me, but I’m like “No, this is not it! I have to go!”. So I get out of the room and on the hallway I see another mirror and jump again, thinking once more about the moon. Same SP effects and I feel my awaken body on the bed. Once again I wait for the image to form and I find myself again in the same room with the same couple! Bullocks!
I decide to see what they’re doing anyway. The girl is cleaning up his wounds he has all over his body and when she is about to pull his pants down to reach his leg wounds, he grabs it, in a mixed feeling of shyness and arousal because I’m there. I also feel a bit uncomfortable and aroused and for a moment a threesome crosses my mind, but I decide to turn my back on them and focus on something else, like trying to aim to the biodome or meditate somewhere else. There’s a mirror on the room and I jump a third time. This time I wake up.

8:00 GMT

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

0:55 GMT – Sleep

“Gay” friends
I’m with mom, coming out from her home, down the ramp to the main road. Once again I hope not to cross with this neighbour I had a crush for many years ago. Me and mom then drive to some city that looks like Brussels but a lot more colourful. We are looking for a place to eat but we have difficulty passing with the car to the area we want to go (because of traffic limitations) and then we spend a lot of time looking for parking. We just decide to go back home and cook something, because we’re already running out of time to go somewhere.
Later on I’m visiting this 2 friends. They are metrosexual guys in their 30’s who live together and everybody thinks are gay. I know they aren’t but they don’t seem to convince anyone else. One of them is on the phone with an old aunt and she is asking him if he still lives with his friend – hopeful that he might be finally living a straight life with a girl friend. He gets the innuendo in her voice and he replies a bit abruptly that yes he is living with his friend but they are not “living” together. He says he is tired of trying to explain but he no longer cares what they think but I don’t believe him. I sense he is still upset.

Friend from Iceland
With a group of friends in some kind of waiting room. One girl in the group who has family in Iceland was supposed to be going there but I hear on the news that there was another volcanic eruption and her village is in flames and many people are dead. She actually laughs at me when I go back to the room and tell her, but I tell her I’m not joking. She then gets upset and the others are comforting her..
Later I go down the corridor of this place (looks like an airport waiting room) and I enter a staff only area. I pass by some offices and I am aware I’ll be asked what I am doing there if someone sees me. So, logically I decide to sit on a sofa at the entrance of one of the far end offices, just on top of some stairs going down. There’s someone inside the office and I am nervous but decide to stay there. I see a table with magazines and maps and pick up something. Then some lady comes up the stairs and asks me if I such and such person who has an appointment now. She is psychologist. Apparently I wanted to pretend I was such person but I fail to keep the lie and she starts suspecting. I just look at what I have in my hand and it is a map of Ghent (in Belgium). I recognize the streets and the main area around the bigger canal and I decide to jump off this dream and land there.

British royalty
I enter the map and land in front of the canal. I feel amused, I’m slightly aware that I am dreaming and decide to jump on the water with a huge splash. I have some fun and then realise there’s some sort of gathering or parade on the city. The British royalty is present and I see Prince Charles on a carriage parading in front of people. But the most interesting is that I spot the Queen and the Queen-mother under disguise following him on foot through the middle of the public. I wonder why nobody else noticed that already and I also wonder what they are up to. Then the Queen-mother feels sick. In the middle of the crowd no one seems to notice, but Prince Charles knows and jumps off the carriage and goes pick her up. The public is still not aware of what’s going on but a bunch of body-guards come from all over the place to surround them. The prince takes his granny up on his arms to a van nearby and they run fast to avoid people starting grabbing and pushing when they realise who is walking among them.

5:30 GMT

Sleeping over and sharing room
I’m sleeping over at some guy’s house with a 2nd guy. The house owner is an older guy, foreign, tall with grey hair and the second guy is Manuel, shorter, with glasses and round face, whom I know – he is a politician.
For some reason I don’t grasp we’re sharing the same room and the 2 guys are on the same bed and left space for me to join them – nothing sexual intended, just sleeping. But still I feel extremely uncomfortable and just sit on the floor writing on my paper DJ. I turn my face to sneeze and I expel really disgusting green and brown goo that dirties the wall. Manuel woke up and sees it and feels disgusted, but his reaction is to pretend he is still sleeping and didn’t see anything. I try to clean it up with Kleenexes but it’s not working. Then the older guy wakes up and helps me out. He goes get a wet tissue and I am able to clean the mess. But either he is upset that I woke him up or also feeling disgusted, he goes to the living room and watches TV. It’s around 5 am and I tell him he should go back asleep but he doesn’t even reply. I realise we are talking in English but the guy speaks Portuguese and the other is also Portuguese, so I say “sorry for speaking in English but it just comes natural for me and the guy smiles and says it’s the same for him.”

7:00 GMT

Hot air balloon
With a group of youngsters, I look at the sky and see some strange clouds, in the shape of medusas. We think it’s a UFO and then one lands on the ground nearby and from inside it comes a second bunch of youngsters. They are totally excited, they come to us and say they’ve just had a ride on an hot air balloon and that we must go to.
The group I’m with gets totally convinced and decides to go. A tram arrives to take them to the balloon. They ask me if I wanna join. I first say no, that the experience of being up on the air is not new to me and I don’t see much the point. But they insist and I finally agree. I also enter the tram. As I enter the tram, the driver, an old gentleman with white moustache smiles at me and tells me the ticket costs 6 EUR. I sit by the side of a little girl who is more scared than excited and I tell her it will be ok. We arrive at the top of a hill but the balloon is on the ground, not yet filled with hot air and we feel disappointed.

Medical centre in home town
I’m inside a village medical centre. I’m near the desk, I think waiting for my turn. My mom is also there and we make shifts on the queue. She is telling everybody I have an appointment with Dr. Fernando Nobre – he is a doctor but I don’t think he practices anymore, he is the director of an international NGO and is currently running for the presidency, so I don’t really understand why I supposedly have an appointment with him. My attention is attracted to this lady on the desk, she is in her 60’s and she is speaking Russian and German to the patients who come talk to her. I feel impressed, because from my experience these ladies on the medical centre’s desk are usually quite ignorant and impolite. I see on the desk a basket of apples for people to take. I take one and I am surprised to find it is organic. I also see these posters on the wall announcing some organic fair or convention. Are they finally teaching people about real healthy options in life? I feel so surprised. As I wonder about these things I turn to my left and meet this hippie-ish couple. I think she is pregnant and we start talking about these “organic developments”. I then go outside to get some fresh air and I pass by all these people from my home town – girls from my school now with kids, fat and totally dull. I don’t want to judge people but they are totally judging me. They look at me from head to toes, with disapproving yet jealous looks. I then see my reflection on the glass wall – I am almost in my warrior me: short dark hair, dressed in black and red, so totally different from them, like worlds apart. I think how I cherish my adventurous life and couldn’t settle with a desk job 9 to 5 and marrying and having kids and living back in home town. I feel grateful but I am also aware this is ego cherishing and I should not feed it.

8:20 GMT – Wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

0:00 GMT – Sleep

Fragment: - Something about people getting a tour around the European Parliament

3:50 GMT

Mother unlove
I am at the square just by the end of the ramp that goes to my mom’s house. [My mom had told me that police goes often around this area and she even heard shots one day.] On the dream I look at all houses, and feel that this specific one in the middle is where the troubles are coming from. Then I see this Saudi Arabian (sorry to the Saudi Arabians, don’t mean to insult, this is clearly prejudice) peeking through a semi-open door. He sees me and looks at me in a way I can’t distinguish if he’s threatening me or flirting with me. But anyway I decide not to stay around to figure out.
I go up the ramp and realise I’m wearing my ugliest pijama [which I don’t even have anymore] and floating in a really strange way – if anybody sees me, will think I’m such a freak, but if in the past I would feel totally embarrassed, now I just try not to care. Instead I think how awesome is the contortionism I am doing. I look like some alien animal.
I arrive at my mom’s building and check the mail box, trying to hurry before someone else comes [a recurrent dream for years]. Then outside I see this weird baby crawling on the pavement. It has the body of a baby, but the head of an older little girl who already talks. I pick her up and ask her what’s she doing here alone. She then tells me her mother totally ignores her. She loves her but has made vows to just cuddle her and give her care after she is baptised, so this baby girl never received mother love. I find that really stupid. I take care of her until parents arrive [also a recurrent dream] and think her mother will be upset that I’m being loving towards her baby. But she is cool about it. She doesn’t mind others do it, she just doesn’t. I then see it from the mother’s perspective and realise what a great detachment practice she is doing and I even admire her for her strength, but still I don’t think it’s fair for the baby.

Sex everyday
My boyfriend then appears and I talk to him about this previous dream baby-mother story. Then he informs me about some letter he received (from some girl, I presume) and he asks me if I feel jealous. I say I am ok, I trust him. Then he says he was with this guy from work who cannot be one day without sex and was freaking out because he skipped one day. He told me he had told him he had to be joking. He explained how for example he doesn’t see me for prolonged periods of time and he doesn’t freak out about it. And the other guy told him it wasn’t healthy not to have sex everyday and that he should have a backup for when I’m not around. Then I started looking at him a bit annoyed, not knowing why he was bringing this conversation up. Did he intend to tell me something?

4:30 GMT

Epic flood
I am part of a research team that is predicting extreme weather events. At the moment there’s a catastrophic drought where we are but we predict that a huge flood, of biblical proportions. Then the head scientist goes nuts and decides to leave the team to build an ark. But not like the naïve Noah’s ark, it’s a fully equipped, ultra-modern submarine. At some point we all get involved in helping. He is building it on top of this canyon, which used to be a riverbed and is now a completely dry valley. People have settled houses on its bottom and we predict that it will be flooded and all the people will die if they don’t get out of there. Then one day, when the sub is ready, just needing minor adjustments, I see this gigantic wall of water wiping through the valley and people running and screaming, but they stand no chance.
Only a few who were around the sub - many curious people have come to see it regularly and kids play inside it – they have a chance to escape but we have to close the doors, because we cannot get them all inside and also there’s no time. Three kids who were playing inside get separated from their parents who got stuck outside. The parents are knocking on the door and looking through a window, desperately trying to get in. But I can’t open or we all die. At least the kids are inside. Then I worry, when the water hits us, that some door I was working on, still needed a few adjustments and might not cope with the pressure, but so far is holding.
Then starts a social experiment inside the sub. After some time locked inside it, people start to reveal what’s really inside them. For example, there’s this black guy who has been harassed by two different girls who feel attracted to him. But he is not interested at all. They keep pushing, they even seduce him together, but he really doesn’t care about them. Then another black guy, shorter and much more extroverted, thinks he has the solution to his problem. He goes to his room when he is resting on the bed, pulls of his pants – the other guy offers resistance, but not very convincing – and then performs fellatio on him who is fully erect and clearly enjoying. Still, he feels so embarrassed that he kicks the shorter guy out of the room. Then he becomes very quiet and unsocial, not accepting what has become clear to him.
There’s also this guy who is in love with these two girls who tried seducing the black guy. He is talking about this with some friends on the common room – the black guy is sitting on the back, looking to the floor – and he asks his friends what they think about that. Then one replies amused that as long as all the people involved agree on that, there’s absolutely no problem. The social constraints went down the drain with the flood, inside the sub all that matters is that everybody is happy and lives love freely. Then he raises his voice a bit so the black guy can also hear, that everybody is cool about everybody else’s choices, no matter whether is to love 2 persons or someone of the same sex.

8:30 GMT – Wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

0:15 GMT – sleep

Nothing...

4:45 GMT

Tango and vampire attack
I’m on a dance classroom. People are learning tango. Teacher evaluates us and I suck. I leave the floor and decide to go to a window check the outside. I am wearing a black cape and then I see a bunch of vampires about to enter and attack everybody.
I remember clearly one vampire sucking the blood from one girl who is actually delighted. The vampire sensed her joy and stops to ask her why is she happy. She doesn’t say but I guess she is happy with the prospective of also becoming a vampire. They take her away, don’t know if to make her wish come true, but all the others are killed. I realise then I’m one of them, because they don’t do me nothing. Still, I don’t kill, I’m a benign vampire and in fact feel bad about this killing.

5:40 GMT

Ego burst and reconciliation
I’m walking with mom and my friend Christof by my side. We cross a train station platform and I see this bunch of card boxes full of stuff someone abandoned there. I guess for others to take whatever they wish. I start taking a look at it but mom discourages me, thinks it’s not suitable for me to do it, that’s for poor people. How stupid, I love getting used stuff from others. I find a nice vase and a minipimer. She is now really pulling me away from it but I insist in seeing the rest. Then I find boxes full of my childhood stuff. I feel totally upset – these are things that only my mother could have taken here. But when I want to confront her, she is gone somewhere and my friend says we should go meet her now. But I feel totally angry and can’t really face her right now, so I just leave to the opposite direction. But first pick up some of my stuff, put it on a bag and hand it over to my friend.
I then pass by this people from my village (that’s when I realise all this is taking place there) and they are talking about me on my back. I hear them commenting how I work abroad and so on, like if it’s a big deal for small town folks. But then I hear a sarcastic comment saying “Yeah, but I heard she doesn’t make much money.” What??? I’m totally pissed – what do these people have to do with my life anyway? I scream to them that I make loads of money, travel a lot for free around the world and have an amazing life. Then (WTF) I scream that I am also planning to join the army or the navy (whatever).
I keep walking way but this anger and hurt ego do not last for long and soon I worry that my mother will freak out not knowing where I went and my foreign friend also. Can’t make them feel sick of worries, so I just go back. I find my friend on the door of this shop where my mom was, trying to get me on the phone, totally despaired that his cell phone is almost battery dead and that my mom doesn’t speak english. He hugs me, relieved. My mom is inside. We don’t talk, as she is still mumbling about all that stuff being just garbage that I’m attached to, but I’m already totally cool about it. Already let go of the possessions she gave away. People matter more than objects.
Then Christof tells me the shop keeper (a cute lady) has been totally nice to him, asking his name, where he comes from and so on. But I tell him that’s not the normal way they deal with costumers and that she was totally flirting with him.

6:55 GMT – wake up