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    Lucid-schizo-dreamer

    Dream Warrior and Explorer of the Dreamplane

    1. 6 Feb: Attempt to meditate in the luminous mind

      by , 02-06-2011 at 09:25 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

      22:00

      Helping out
      Someone wants me to save someone else from something, but I clarify we’re just in a dream, so no point to stress out. This person cries. I promise to help.

      0:00

      Feeling two bodies simultaneously
      I was falling asleep, but then something strange happened: I felt I was lying on my bed, but although I know my BF was lying by my side, I could not feel him, so I stretched my hand out to reach him. At first I felt nothing, but then I felt his knee. He moaned and asked “what?”, I say it was nothing, but I was in such a state in between sleep and vigil, that I felt myself dissociating from my body: I felt simultaneously my “real” body on my bed and I felt myself floating above the bed on a dream or astral body. I made some sound like “wooow” and he moaned to me “are you ok?”. I was hardly able to speak or even hear my own voice by then, but I kinda moaned back “wow, I have two bodies!”, then he replied something like “you’re sleepy”, I laughed exhilarated and fell completely into the “dream body”.
      [in the morning I asked him about this and he doesn’t recall it happening. It might be that it was all a dream from the beginning, that the conversation we had was already a dream or that he simply forgot.]

      Chemtrails
      Already disconnected from my waking body, I watch hypnagogic imagery. I got caught on some image where I was looking through a window to the sky. Although everything I see around is dark and undefined, the night sky outside is very clearly defined and I see an airplane passing low and leaving a large trail. When the airplane comes back and leaves another trail, I am sure he is leaving chemtrails. I know I am not awake but I am also not sure that I’m dreaming. I go through a short blackout and then I find myself outside on the street under that sky. My mother is with me. We look at the trails and I tell her we should go inside because it might be some nasty chemical. She is very worried. I pinch my arm to do a RC, I confirm I’m not awake, so I don’t feel so worried.
      I turn back and face a large residence. We’re on the back yard. I talk to some DCs who seem to be college students. I go inside.

      LDers secretariat
      I meet my BF on some room, but he is very agitated and leaves right after. He goes down some stairs to the front door. I go after him but I halt on the corridor, because I see 3 doors all with signs on the door saying ”Lucid dreamers” or "lucid dreams". One is closed, the other is open and there's some guy inside but he is busy talking to someone, so I enter the last one. There’s a lady there, but she says I’ll have to come back later because she is on her break. I see she has a badge with her name, so I ask her if I can check her name once more, just so I can recall who she is on waking up. She is in a hurry and with very little patience, but she turns to me once more before closing the door and I read: Eliza Dias.

      Students protest
      I walk to the stairs and I pass by some window that I open to see what’s going on down there after all. The police are taking some kid in custody. His colleagues are protesting. I fly down to meet them and I ask what’s going on. They say the police came with a list of names and is taking away one by one. They say they did some demonstration days before and they are coming for them. Others don’t agree it is because of that and say a smaller group of protesters invaded a bank to stage some action there and the cops are only taking them. Meanwhile the police comes back and starts calling for more names. The kids form a block together, not allowing the cops to take them. I join them for support.

      3:00

      Bus ride
      I enter a bus and it is my friend M. Silva who is the driver. I had just bought a ticket at a counter at the bus stop but now I’m having troubles finding it. She says it’s ok, but I must sit on the seat across from her and talk with her. I was followed by friends – Zilla and others – who want me to sit with them on the back but I tell them to go without me. Don’t recall what happened in detail, but either she or some other lady who sat by my side freaks me out, because through her ears I can see the inside of her head, which has a big fire raging. I run to some seat somewhere in the middle of the bus, which now seems like some conference room. My seat has a board over it full of pens and pencils and I have to organize them all before I take the seat. Then I see my friends in the back who signal me to go meat them. I go. Outside is raining and my clothes are all wet. They hand me over something to wear. I change. I wear something apparently too sexy with large boots. Someone comments I shouldn’t wear those improper clothes, but I say I have nothing else and won’t keep the wet clothes on.

      5:00

      University
      Walking around some university, wearing a white robe, like that of doctors. I feel like I’m studying medicine there and I’m looking for a colleague because I’m worried about a paper we should have worked on. I pass by some open and circular room which is like a small projection room. All is dark, but I see people sitting on the seats as if waiting for something. I turn the lights on and the projector which plays a movie. They thank me. I spot some guy I have a crush on but he doesn’t say a word. Instead, some geeky guy I don’t like, grabs my arm to thank me and asks me for a kiss. I shake him off and say no. I run to the restroom. When I see myself in the mirror, I look awfully tired. I put some make up on, but I exaggerate and then have to take it off. I go out and bump into the girl I was looking for. It’s Mónica M. I tell her I’m worried because I didn’t do anything on that paper and neither she did say anything to me on that. She smiles and says “Hey, we’ve finished our courses already. Forget about the paper.” I suddenly recall it’s true, I have my degree for years. I become lucid.

      Trying to rip the dream fabric
      Dream fades and I end up on some place on the countryside where medieval dressed people seem to be building up a fair or a tournament site. There is a very high podium where two big guys are holding down some black guy and telling him he can choose either to be decapitated or thrown down that podium. He thinks the fall might give him some chance of survival so he chooses it. But it’s not going to happen yet, they are still rehearsing for the big date. I notice the black guy is some known comedian, so I guess this is all just a movie set and not a real thing. I walk down a road and at some point some people pass by me running because someone stepped over some beehive and the whole colony is after them and now after me, because they brought it in my direction. But I feel no stings, because I am still ware I’m dreaming. I am bored, I jump really high over some rice paddy fields and then decide to rise in the air. From up above I try to rip apart the dream fabric. I wish to get out of the imagery but not end in the blackness. Instead I wish to go to the luminous state of mind, free from imagery, where I can meditate free from distractions. But it doesn’t work. The best I can achieve is opening with my hands a little gap on the scenery from where a brief flash of light irradiates. I give up and decide to just plunge in the rice paddies, visualizing the light, hoping to meet it.

      Slaughterhouse
      I go through the blackness and suffer brief SP vibrations and sounds (a long time since it happened), then I find myself on a belt of a slaughterhouse, among dead bodies of cows, heading to a giant saw. I know it’s a dream, but still the idea of being cut in half creeps me out so I jump out of the belt. There are parts of animals everywhere, blood splattered on the walls, the image is horrendous, but I try to keep calm. I make a prayer for those beings and recall the light once more. Some light invades this dark creepy room through some slits on the walls.

      The Light
      Dream fades again and I go through SP one more time. I hear a Bollywood song playing in my head and I feel gentle vibrations throughout my entire body, rising from my feet to my head. It ends with vibrations on my 3rd eye. I hold on and find myself on a very luminous landscape. Below I see grass and trees, but above the trees there’s only a very bright, radiant white light pervading everything. I wish there was only the light, so I rise up in the air, to leave the ground behind and be totally immerse in the light, with no images to distract me. I imagine myself sitting on a lotus flower in mid air. But once there’s only light in all space, my mind starts to drift and I am dragged once more into SP. Then my BF moved and woke me up.

      7:00
    2. 7 Sep: a portal and a long lucid (both wasted)

      by , 09-08-2010 at 10:20 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

      In general, these last days I have been recalling fewer dreams and totally missing good opportunities when they arise, but we all go through these stupid phases, I guess.


      23:20 GMT – Sleep

      Can’t really recall a dream, but I woke up with obsessive thoughts about dream control and the serial dreaming RPG tasks, so either I was dreaming something related to that or not at all and felt frustrated on waking up.

      3:58 GMT

      Random fragments
      I’m with a group of kids, brothers and sisters and apparently we are very famous. There’s a huge group of fans stalking us and we just have time to hide in some house. Inside there’s a maid who becomes our friend and keeps our location secret. For some reason we stay there for the night and it is absolutely imperative that nobody find us there.
      Then I am on some balcony trying to disentangle something (?)
      Then I’m on top of a skyscraper in N.Y. I feel a bit of vertigo.
      Then I am with some blond guy and we are making a pact to help each other keep some secret only to ourselves.


      4:30 GMT

      From a train to a slaughterhouse
      I’m on a train station platform and from inside a train a friend calls me, says it is last call for this train and if I’m not getting there immediately I’ll have to go on the next. I don’t know where we’re going, but I hop in. I sit and realise that in the seat in front are my friend R., L. and some other person. They are bragging about their dreams. One of them says she can easily use the train ride to snooze a little and will surely come up with at least 2 lucid dreams. Initially I feel envious, but I shudder this feeling, don't want to give in to envy and just ignore them. I look through the window and I see bulls on some field. Half-lucid I start thinking which animal suffers the worst: the bull that roams free his entire life and is then slowly tortured and bleed to death in a bullfighting arena or a cow that lives an entirely miserable existence of pain in some factory farm but then dies supposedly quicker? My doubt lies now in the effectiveness of stunners that are used to leave the animals unconscious before slaughter. So I find myself in a slaughterhouse holding one of such devices to test it. I thought about trying it on myself, but I felt a bit scared of what I would feel, so I just test it on an apple – not a very clever idea, it just gets some burning marks on it. [chicken!]

      A portal
      I’m on some house of an old couple and their son. We’re in the middle of an empty room and there’s a portal open in the centre of the room. It just appeared out of nowhere. As it shines and waves in the air, in tones of blue, like water, we wonder what it is and if it’s dangerous to cross it and what it is on the other side. The boy gets behind it and throws something across it in our direction. It was like a piece of garbage. Instead of crossing, it just stays there, suspended in the portal, but it performs a strange mystical dance and then becomes a perfect circle form. Then I don't remember much, but I had no will or courage to actually cross it and think I just left this room and house and continued dreaming outside. [idiot!]

      Buddhists and new agers
      I'm in this foreign country and my mom came to visit me and I decide to show her around. I’m dressed in orange, top and long skirt and with my purple hat. I tell her lots of monks and Buddhist teachers are also in the city at the moment, for some gathering. We see a group of people waiting for a bus on the other side of the road and I tell her “See over there, it’s Mathieu Ricard with some other Tibetan Buddhist monk”. A bit further we pass by another group of monks, and I tell her “And see, look who’s in the middle of these monks, it’s Tich Nhat Hanh.”
      Then we see a large entrance to some place, like a garage, not entirely inviting, but lots of new agers gathered there. They invite us in, they are eating what seems to be lentils and vegetables, so we join them. After the meal they behave a bit childish, like when they start doing this clapping hand game I used to play in camps with other kids.


      5:30 GMT

      Alone in the city
      I am again in this foreign city and I know my mom is visiting, although not with me at the moment. I know it is quite far from home and I wonder how she enjoyed the flight. I feel that flying is becoming quite normal to me and I wonder if I’ll ever be afraid of flying. Then it occurs to me that maybe if I fly to Nepal, I might feel scared because lots of planes fall in that area as their flying companies are not so safe.
      While I think about all this I am entering a building, following two other girls who enter a public toilet. It is quite big with large mirrors on the wall over the sinks. The girls are mocking me or something, but I ignore them. I go to the mirror and I spend a lot of time there, looking at something in my face as I continue thinking. Because I’m abstracted, the dream transforms and I am now on top of a hill sitting with a guy and a girl on a few steps and the mirror transformed into a glass wall by my left side. Through it I can see a road down the hill and a city on the other side of the road.
      Me and this guy and girl are so packed together (don’t know way, as there’s lots of space around) and the guy is flirting me thinking I’m interested.
      But I couldn’t care less, I get up and decide to move. I go downhill and cross the street. From there I see than on the side of this little hill, there's a bigger mountain with a forest and old houses in the horizon, outside the city and for a moment I consider going there. But hesitated, and decided to just fly around the city. I am lucid but honestly can’t really tell when it started (think it was gradual, from the moment I moved away from this couple of friends).
      For a moment I find myself inside a house with a bunch of other people and I change clothes – now I wear a sexy transparent black shirt. Then I’m outside again and I’m a bit distracted and a car almost hits me. I pause on the sidewalk for a while, just looking to the sky and the buildings around. It’s all so luminous. Then I see lots of jets lifting off and I have this impression there’s a lot of rich business people on this city. The jets lift off, one after another, there’s maybe an airport nearby. But then they start behaving strangely, like they are not flying in a straight line, but a bit randomly and then they transform into giant metal birds, with colourful painted wings.
      A Russian guy wakes me up from my mesmerisation and tells me he will drive this car, which is parked right by my side and I’m sitting on the sidewalk, so he’s just warning me to get out the way. He is a bit rude, but he is actually concerned about my safety and I feel he is a nice guy. He is a driver, not the owner of the car.
      Then I cross the street on the pedestrian walkway. I didn’t look to see if it was green for pedestrians and a wall of cars comes in my direction from both sides. But I am not afraid. As they approach I think "cars keep coming at me but this is my dream and they can’t hurt me, I’ll be like Moises opening the red sea and crossing safely to the other side". It didn’t quite happen that way. It just happened that the cars would pass in front of me or in my back without ever colliding with me, very elegantly. That was nice, but not awesome, so I stay there and decide the cars will lift in the air and freeze and make a wall of cars. This time I point my hand to them to make it happen, but all it happens is that they started levitating, but not with the desired effect. I think “Oh crap, I really suck at this control thing.”, but it wasn’t that bad - at least it was a very sucessful levitation of cars.
      Then for some irrational “reason” when I am in the sidewalk I decide I’m not over with this gimmick yet and I walk a bit further down the road until I find a spot that for "some reason” looks good. There I decide to send a purple light ray – actually more like a laser, hard to explain - to the ground, marking an invisible line where the cars will create this wave or wall of cars, when they reach it. But by this time, the traffic diminished a lot. It’s already dawn and I also realised there’s very few people on the street. A guy coming out from a building – looks like a bank – just saw me sending out “laser beams” and with his eyes wide open he freezes on the sidewalk and moves back inside. I can’t believe he is afraid of me!
      I lean on some raised flowerbed outside a building, waiting for some car to pass, but nothing! They totally disappeared. Now I feel pissed. I was sure this time it would work! Then I feel so incredibly lonely, as if I was the only one of my kind in the world - nobody with whom to share my reality and my tricks. Then my cat appears by my side and I hug him, but I don’t feel much better.

      [Then I felt totally disappointed that I didn’t remember to do any of the tasks I was supposed to do!]

      7:15 GMT – Wake up

      Updated 09-08-2010 at 10:34 PM by 34880

      Categories
      dream fragment , lucid , non-lucid