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    Lucid-schizo-dreamer

    Dream Warrior and Explorer of the Dreamplane

    1. 22 Jul: Engaging with my teacher's attendants

      by , 07-22-2020 at 12:29 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Attending my teacher's teachings, sitting front row. There are 3 Asian ladies, including his current partner EC, attending to his needs, but there is the rumor that I might be trying to steal their position. I assure I am not. My teacher exchanges just a few quick looks with me, his eyes eager to see me, but nothing else. Later on, some lamas or monks take me for a walk and say they heard I am an humble person and want to know if that is true. I say I am not sure and think about it for a while. I reply that I am aware of who I am but yes, I am humble in the sense I am also very aware of my character flaws and I don't feel like I am better or above anyone else. They take me to a kind of room in an attic. When I am there I recognize it is the meditation room of JKCL. I kneel on the floor and touch some pretty tiles where he sat practicing, feeling emotional. I then see a journal on a table with his notes about travels and some old pics of exotic places he went. I am met by two of the ladies from before (but not EC) and they are now being kind to me. They invite me for a weekend at some really nice place, to make plans with them about something. I accept.
    2. 29 Dec: Learning a ritual dance from my guru

      by , 12-29-2018 at 04:04 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Attending my guru's teachings. I am sitting right in front of him, then there is some initiation in which I am given something, not sure what, Then I am alone with Ioana who teaches me a ritual dance. Then she says we were supposed to have met others again at some new place and that we are late and she runs out to ger her shoes or whatever.
      I follow her outside but don't see her anymore. I find myself in a pateo in what seems like a monastery. I feel something weird. I start floating, dancing in the air, moving weirdly, end up on the ground doing sensual moves with some objects in my hands. A bell is placed on my pelvis and with each movement it rings and arouses me. I am getting horny with the dance, when all other students appears with our teacher and I feel embarrassed and stop. But Rinpoche asks some other lama what he thinks of my dance and the opinion is that I did good, considering I just got brief teachings immediately before. Then I learn that it wasn't Ioana who had taught me, but Rinpoche himself, that I had been under some spell to see a different reality and see her in his place.
      Now we will continue the teaching, We all walk to inside the building. There are flags hanging and waving everywhere and graffiti with certain symbols I can't decipher on all walls.
    3. 22 Dec: With my guru, things coming out of my mouth

      by , 12-22-2018 at 11:39 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Going to some Buddhist teachings and staying at some hotel in front of the teachings place. The buildings are New Orleans type. The hotel is just by the side of a gay bar.
      By chance, or not, I am put next door to my teacher's room, who is staying at the same hotel, but I don't know it until I go hang some clothes to dry at the balcony and realize it is a common balcony and I see some attendant preparing a tray with tea for him. But I don't see him. Then it gets confusing, with people circulating through my room thinking it is an extension of his suite. Although, in fact there are connecting doors between the rooms.
      I get dressed and later go join group lunch, which is in a long table where everybody eats together, some 30 people. I don't see my teacher, but there is only one vacant seat at the top and I sit, hoping it is not his place. I know the girls sitting on both sides, they tell me it is ok to sit, we chat, we have a good time. Suddenly I look up and as some people got up from their chairs or are leaning backwards and I see my teacher to the left, in the middle of the table, staring at me and I feel embarrassed. I smile but then look down, then look up at him, then look down and I repeat it a couple more times. His eyes are locked on me. Then he gets up and goes to balcony over our heads to tell some story and a couple people act the story out.
      On the balcony wall appears a giant slug, yellow or orange, leaving a mucus trail and then appears a sea cucumber, also in flashy colors. Some girls are going crazy over our teacher and like famished beings they lean against the wall and stretch their arms until they reach the base of the balcony. In their rush to kiss their guru's feet, they lick the animal's slime and apparently swallow the animals. I find it gross, but then again, I also think why I find it gross. It is just my perception. Except for the poor animals, I worry that they swallowed them out needlessly. So I also reach out to look at the floor of the balcony and I see the slug and the other animal languishing on the floor and I feel relief.
      Meanwhile I feel something coming out of my mouth, it's disturbing and I also feel embarrassed, because my guru is still looking at me. I start pulling a small white embroidery from my mouth and keep pulling a white thread behind it. But it's not over, then my mouth is full of beads and I collect them out one by one. My teacher is looking with admiration, so I assume it's not a bad thing.
    4. 27 Apr: looping

      by , 04-27-2014 at 12:11 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I'm attending my guru's teachings and a sequence of odd experiences happen. At some point he plays a drum in a certain beat pattern, without explaining its importance or decoding its meaning. Then he leaves his seat and a midle-aged lady student moves in to play the drum, trying to recreate the same sound. She thinks it's ike a mantra, that we can replicate to help our meditation. But she doesn't play it right. I feel some uncomfort, like knowing she shouldn't be doing it, but it's not my business to decide that, so wat I do is correct her and guide her to play the right beats. At this point I feel my guru's eyes on the back of my head. I turn around but he isn't there. I also leave.
      Then I am with my guru, but the timeline is not linear. I left with him and a group of select people who will stay with him for the next hours as he meditates and eventually doozes off in a more private place. He sits in the middle and we sit around on mattresses. We will be there supposedly for 17 hours, meditating and sleeping. At this point the lady hasn't plaid the drum yet, but then we hear the sound. The guru is a bit upset. Not only it disrupts this quiet moment we're meant to have, but this drumming sound is a sacred sound that shouldn't be plaid by just anybody. From this place here he sticks his eyes into the back of my head on that room, knowing all too well that my good heart enabled that lady to play that drum.
      So he closes his eyes, but he also gets out and personally ensures this lady is punished with temporary incarceration on a cave nearby. I just know all of this because I see it all happening in my mind. As soon as he leaves the cave (and during all that time he was just sitting straight, eyes closed in front of me), I sneak out from this room, to go see the lady. i feel guilty, because I encouraged her to play and taught her the right beats, so I should be incarcerated, not her. I sneak out of the room silently, everybody is meditating eyes closed or sleeping, so I assume no one seems me going.
      I find a way to communicate with the lady inside the cave and to say I'm sorry for her torment.
      I can feel the presence of my guru, of course he knows I'm there, the whole time we've been in more than one place at the time and our actions seem to be all interconnected. She is me and I am him and he is me and I am her. He is smiling from afar.

      Updated 04-27-2014 at 01:05 PM by 34880

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