Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some victorian house, sort of half asleep and seeing the scenario fade away, but I realize it is actually a dream and that it is the dream itself that is fading. I hold on to it, but the darkness doesn't go away and I know this is when sometimes the monsters come up. And then I see a woman coming over and whenever she crosses a more shadowy area, her face becomes monstruous. I warn a friend that is also sleeping nearby to wake up. She doesn't know what I am talking about and she looks at the woman. The woman says in a hypnotic tone "look into my eyes". I grab my friend and say "don't look, it will kill you". I get in front of the woman and I say assertively "Now, you look into my eyes!" at the side of her face that is not disfigured. She looks puzzled and loses a bit of her power temporarily, so I open some curtains to let light in and I drag my friend to the outside. The woman still tries to reach me, but she can't stand the light. I decide to lift off and that's when I go fully lucid. I don't know what to do, so I decide to just watch the dream. Below me it now looks like some big american city. I also see a huge roller-coaster in the distance. There is some retro vibe to it. I just amuse myself by flying over people and watching their dramas. I feel very melancholic thinking how all these people are just DCs. I sing and dance in the sky above them.

Visiting my mom at her old job at the Union. They are at some warehouse with piles of boxes with files and lots of stickers, calendars and other stuff I used to steal from them and collect as a child. I am mesmerized by all the retro things they have, not fully aware that I am dreaming, but aware I am seeing something gone from the past. I grab a box with some stickers to take with me as mementos. For some reason my dog Hachi appears and all is fine until someone else also comes in with 2 dogs and a baby. I grab Hachi immediately and try to take him somewhere where I can keep him isolated. Unfortunately there is only a small room with no windows and I don't want to lock him there. So when the other dogs follow us and we get cornered there, I close them inside instead and take Hachi away.
We go to my mom's and he roams around the house free. After a while I am looking for him and find him in the balcony injured with a bad open wound in his front right leg. Nearby is a robotic snake I keep as a toy, also severely "hurt". Turns out she can bite and it is a powerful metallic bite. I try getting close to him, but he cowers and hides his leg. I go get hydrogen peroxide and throw copious amounts on his wound. He ends up accepting my treatment and even puts his front legs over mine to thank me, I guess. Then I also want to help the snake but need something to grab it safely. I didn't know she had such a dangerous self defense mechanism.

At my childhood home, alone, and I become lucid. I go into my room, honestly just wanting again to dwell on the melancholic feeling of seeing things from my past. But then I feel crazy horny and feel the urge to remove my pants. I look around for objects I might use creatively, but all I see is a wooden spoon over the bed for no good reason. So I give up on objects. Instead I decide to experiment what it would feel like if my clitoris grew to become a very long penis. Long enough that it reaches my mouth. And then I suck it. I almost wake up with the sensation but I manage to come back to the dream. Then I jump scare when through the balcony door I see 3 Rinpoches sitting outside. They are not looking at me, they are to right side, almost out of sight. I can only see a bit of their faces but I recognize them ckearly. They are facing forward as if listening or watching someone to my left side. I pull my pants up quickly, deeply embarassed, hoping they didn't see that. I get up and walk slowly towards the balcony sliding doors. Then they turn their heads towards me and nod at me wtth a smile. As I approach, I see many more of them and recognize almost all of them. Then some more pass by from my left side and disappear behind the ones sitting. The balcony is no longer a balcony, but some room somewhere else. They all aknowledge my presence, nod and smile, but none says a word. Then I walk forward a few more steps and I see my teacher to my left. He is standing there and he is the one all others were looking at or listening. They hint that I should come in and I do. Rinpoche comes to me and we immediately hug. Then we kiss. It is a shy confused kiss, because I want to kiss him on the lips but I am not sure if it is ok, so I kinda go for the cheek but still touch his lips. He seems surprised but pleased. We continue hugging. Then he kisses me on the lips properly. It feels incredible and totally real. We continue hugging tight and saying how much we missed each other, while I caress his back and head. I can even feel the smooth edges of his robe on his back and do my autistic thing of stimming by feeling the calming texture of the seam.
Then he moves on and we are in some kind of library or classroom and I realize we need to get out because a class or lecture is about to start. Lucidity fades a bit from here. Outside he is with his entourage and they are heading to some place to lunch with, but he specifically says to his attendant that I am to have lunch with the more private group and sit by his side in the upper room. The restaurant is asian, but I can't tell from which country. Rinpoche and the private group disappear upstairs as I am distracted looking at the food they have on display. Then I am not allowed to come up. When finally that is cleared up, I arrive there, but Rinpoche has disappeared again, maybe to go to the bathroom or something, I think. The people there look me sideways and want me to sit me at the "kids" table. I see three empty seats and figure that's where Rinpoche will sit so I say I think I am supposed to sit there to, but they mock me and bully me. Some lady is being incredibly rude and gets into my nerves, so I bang my hand on the table, wanting to punch her, and say "one of these seats is for me, just wait and see". But I feel bad for my ego outburst, so I just go and sit at a bench near the window, at the far end of the table, but where Rinpoche can see me when he returns. Then we hear his voice on loud speakers, interviewing some indian fella and it is about Russia and some allegory with volcanos and people wonder what is this about.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am a very rich girl, travelling around with a retinue of warriors through India, looking for lands to buy. I encounter a remote kingdom, fortified within walls, a shadow of its past glory. It is ruled by a celestial being of pale green skin who has fallen from grace and no longer is able to bring good fortune to its kingdom.
Houses are falling apart, farmers don't grow crops, artisans don't do their crafts. People seem to have given up on living. I offer to buy the kingdom and to provide the means to put people back to work. People rejoice and the green king, who is still a bit proud, but is too weak to oppose, opens his palace for us.
Things are getting better, farmers are again in the fields planting, merchants are selling fresh goods, houses being rebuilt. When suddenly we are under attack.
They had failed to tell us that some evil army (maybe from a rival kingdom, or from dark forces from another realm) was the reason of their misery, through its constant attacks and destruction of livelihoods. Me and my warriors rush up to close the gates of the kingdom. There is a sort of tunnel system around the external fortification, which they manage to break and we have to battle them while retreating through the tunnels. We finally manage to barricade the passage at some point, but we need a plan to keep going.
The siege goes on and we are sent to seek the help of an enlightened being. We go out of the kingdom through a secret path and on our quest we arrive at a village on a hill. Nobody seems to talk the same language and nobody seems willing to even talk to us strangers.
Close to a stone wall we take some rest and there is an orange tree on the other side, from where one of my warriors tries to get some fruits. A wasp stings him, but he is compassionate and spares its life. Then a bunch of wasps arise from the tree and fly towards us. We get up to run, but as they approach us, they transform into giant dark iridescent bugs and then fall on the ground in the form of rounded rectangular black magnetic stones. I receive in my mind the information that these are to be gifts to the Buddha that we are seeking. Then in the sky a path of bright constellations lits up and one that touches the top of a mountain nearby is in the shape of a Buddha. Now we have a "map" to follow. I pick up the stones and we start walking.
On our way we encounter two evil witches blocking the path. They look beautiful and they summon quite a few other goddess-looking creatures who completely seduce my men with some magic spells. Possessed by lust they forget who they are and what they are here for and engage in an orgy with these girls. Very few seem to be strong enough to escape the spell and help me going through. Then the witches unleash a storm of biblical proportions. Drops of water the size of apples and hard as rocks, fall on us, sending the rest of the men to seek cover somewhere and dispersing us. I protect my head and keep going despite the pain. Then I see a little angelic girl crying in terror, trying to protect herself under some crevice on a rock. I forget about my intent, I run to the child and take her in my arms down the mountain and back to the village. I look for her home to reunite her with parents. She never says a word, but she leads me to a house. I realize the witches managed to divert me from my mission. Can compassion have become my weakness? When the door opens, I wake up.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG SHARED

00:40

Loafs for the poor
I’m at the office where my mom used to work. It was a strange building with office rooms along two parallel corridors and I’m going back and forth on these corridors, looking for something, I think the kitchen, because I’m hungry. I encounter Beta, a lady from my childhood, but I try not to be noticed by her. I go after her, quietly and she eventually leads me to a lobby where a huge pool with bread and cookies is set to be delivered to hungry people. Well, I’m hungry so I think it’s ok to take a loaf of bread, which I do, but then some young guy also decides to do the same and he is picky, sorting the whole grain bread, sliced bread and so on, to chose one he likes. I think maybe I could also choose a nicer bread, but in the end I feel bad, because I'm not supposed to take anything at all.

Giant parasite wasps
Then I meet my friend Top Gun who offers a ride somewhere. I accept and he drives me while we talk. I find out he is now father of a baby girl, but when I ask about her mother, he says they aren’t together. He still has a crush on me and is not in love with her. We’re going uphill and we cross a funny bridge made of lava, over a river. I fasten my seatbelt when I see we’re entering a strange and rough terrain. On top of the hill, on the other side of the bridge, we then go through a stone paved road with a steeply sloping downwards. The environment here is completely different, moist and warm, and I spot exotic animals all over, like giant orange butterflies and strange birds. In common they all seem to have one thing: they all have giant wasp-like insects parasitizing them. The poor butterflies have to carry around a bug which is their own size. Unfortunately one of these wasps decides to parasitize me to. It flies into my face and nails itself to my nose, almost like a piercing. It hurts and freaks me out. I wake up.

3:00

Magic battle I
Can’t recall the beginning but I’m inside some castle which is under attack and I’m someone important, like a princess, because everybody is protecting me as I am the main target of some evil forces who breached the castle. I am being escorted by maids and body-guarded by some knights. When going down some hallway to a safer place, we’re attacked by some warrior mage holding in his hand a narwhal’s horn as a spear. He pierces through a knight that puts himself in front of me to save me. Me and a maid are cornered and trapped between the dying knight and this attacker, and he is trying to push the horned spear deeper through the knight, trying to pierce me to. He almost gets is way, but this brave knight is using his last bit of energy to pull him away from me so I can escape. I manage to escape that corner and I fight the guy and steal his narwhal spear. I use it to kill him. It is so sharp that it cuts through flesh as if it is butter. The guy dies but with an evil grin on his face, as if he found some delight in the way I surprised him and killed him.
The maids and knights are again escorting me down this hallway when we sense a dark energy above our heads and we run before it attacks us. They then push me up some spiral stone staircase that goes up to some more private chambers, where I should be more protected, but as soon as I arrive up there, I find an Hawaiian witch (don’t ask me, I just knew she was Hawaiian) who tries to kill me with a curse. Luckily I react pretty fast and I throw back the curse at her. After all, I don’t seem toned that much protection, I can protect myself very well. The witch runs from the reversed spell and flies out of the window on a nearby balcony. She is a bit disoriented, so she falls down on the ground below the balcony. I run to the edge of the balcony and I attack her, pointing my hands at her and using some magical powers to hold her down and inflict excruciating pain on her. I’m pulling her body parts in all directions (that must hurt) but without ever really breaking it apart, so she doesn’t really die, ‘cause we must interrogate her. When she is finally under control, I leave her to the knights.
I turn back to see my maids all looking at her. They seem scared with my powers and I feel maybe I’m not such a good soul, if I can inflict so much pain and suffering to someone. But they all smile timidly, trying to show me it’s ok, because it was self-defense and they are the bad guys, not us. I guess...

5:30

Magic battle II
I’m walking up some village, holding two tiny bottles with some potions on my hands. I pass by some old guys sitting on some church stairs and they seem interested in the bottles, so I hide them in a pocket and decide to fly back home and avoid exposing myself longer to the outside dangers. I fly high so I spot my home – it’s a fortress by the sea. When I arrive there I see strange pot-like structures floating in the waters around it. I grab one or two and they don’t seem threatening, instead they look like beautiful works of art, some raffia pots with contemporary shapes. I take them to my maids and they love it, they want to put some plants inside it. Then we keep taking strange objects from the water, like a never ending knitted thread that reminds me of Joana Vasconcelos’work of art.
Then I have a gap in my recall, but soon after we’re under attack again. We run to inside the castle and we try to lock the gates. Some warlock with an army has come to try to kill me again. Man, they really don’t like me for some reason!
The gates are barely holding and some brave knight is holding it shut with his own arm strength. I try to help him but he tells me to go away and save myself. But the warlock outside sends a shot of electricity through the gates and the knight is being electrocuted in front of my eyes. He holds the gate for as long as he can, but he eventually falls. I then see this warlock with the army breaking in and about to start killing any person they find on their way. I think I must stop it and I try to shoot fireballs from my hands. I then remember I just read and discussed on DV about this during the day – how rationalizing too much blocks it from happening successfully. Of course, by now, I’m lucid. I then concentrate, but not in the actual design of the fireballs, but on the gut feeling of wanting to shoot them and I form the most amazing fire blows I’ve ever been able to shoot. I feel their warmth and their power and I see the army and the warlock burning into flames. It’s a resounding success.
Free from the immediate danger, we all go up the ramp behind the gates that lead to the main entrance of the fortress on highest ground. I fly to pass all the maids and knights. We’re then looking over the castle walls to see if there’s any other imminent attack but we see no one, so people celebrate.
I think my work is done here and I should try to do the ToTY while I’m lucid. But in the hurry I forgot to make it very clear in my mind. I simply jumped from the castle walls to the ground below, wishing to dive in the ground and exit on the “other side”. But when I was going through the “wormhole” I realised I hadn’t yet formulated my destination. I tried to think of a yellow brick road and Dorothy’s red shoes but it was too late.

Pissed off for being (falsely) awaken
I feel myself waking up and I try hard to stay in sleep. I hear someone knocking the door and my BF getting up to open it. It’s really early morning and I wonder who it is. It’s my mom, aunt Lisa and my dad. What do they want? My BF left the door open, so the cat comes inside as he always does in the morning and tries to wake me up. I still fight to stay asleep and go back to LDs. But they are talking loud in the corridor and my mom and Lisa eventually come inside and sit on the bed, trying to wake me up. I feel pissed. I give up and open my eyes. They are fired up with conversations but I feel grumpy. My aunt decides to leave again to speak to my father and I stay with mom. I tell her please not to do that again, because she knows how my sleep is sacred and I tell her I was just having LDs and they interrupted it. She says she is sorry, that she didn’t remember that but she knew how important it was for me, so she would be more careful next time. OK. Now I’m getting up to dress myself and I listen my father and Lisa outside the room talking. He is happy to explain her his theories about killing ants and eliminate this plague from her home – he has not been successful convincing me, ‘cause I don’t want to exterminate the ants in my home...
Then I really wake up and I am truly surprised that before I was still dreaming.

8:00