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    One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy

    About My Dreams

    1. Apartment Exchange

      by , 02-19-2013 at 12:11 PM (One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy)
      I have some trouble as I'm moving into my new apartment. It seems the previous tenant left some of her items and she has some of mine. My landlord tracks down where she moved to and arranges for me to go there and exchange the items.

      Flash forward a few days. I arrive at the other building at night. It is an imposing building of solid concrete, no windows, and few lights around the exterior. I find a security guard. I tell him I am a guest and have arranged to meet one of the tenants. He gives me a brown blanket and says "It's a belt." I drape the blanket around me. Apparently, I need to wear this to get through the security sensors. The guard leads me inside the building. Inside it's very nice like a luxurious modern hotel. Everything is marble and glass and steel. A cool ocean blue is the dominant color, like I'm in an aquarium. The guard leads me to the landlord of the building.

      The landlord is an older women who is impeccably dressing and sophisticated. She greets me warming and leads me to the elevator. We ride to the top floor. There's a formal party going on in the penthouse. The landlord explains she has to make a speech and I can wait at the party. I feel a bit awkward at the party where I don't know anyone. The landlord begins her speech and the crowd gathers around her. I move to the edge of the room where a few shy people are sitting away from the crowd. I sit down a take out my phone. It is the new Blackberry. This intrigues the man sitting a bit to my right. I explain that I have two phones and the store gave me the new Blackberry because of some problem with the warranty of my other phone. A few other curious people gather around me as I talk about my new phone.

      I recall that I'm here to met the apartment tenant and shouldn't be distracted. I find the landlord after her speech. She is about to give a tour of the building to some of the party guests. She tells me to follow along and she will help me after. I follow the tour group by fall behind. I find myself in line to what appears to be a museum. I circle through this line two or three times. When I get to the front, I have my credit card ready to pay. But the attendant tells me it's free and always will be free. He seems offended that I would think to pay. The next time through the line, I enter a room and sneak through a vent into an "employee's only" room. A man frowns at me and tells me this the dining room and bathroom for the workers and not for guests.

      Once again I realize I'm distracted and find the landlord. She leads me to what I suppose is the mail room. There are a few people here. The landlord introduces me to the tenant I was looking for. She is a young woman, taller than me, and strikingly beautiful. She has light brown hair and a bright friendly face. I suppose she looks like that new British princess whats-her-name. She's friendly and opens with some playful banter like, "I'm the one with your book and you're the one with my mirror!" She leads me to a security checkpoint and asks the security guard to issue a passcard to get through "for the next cycle." She then starts back, leaving me to go alone to her apartment to exchange the items. I ask her to wait, I should give her my phone number in case anything's wrong. She gives me a scrap of paper and a pen. I start to write my phone number but get it wrong. I scratch that out and start again. This time it's correct but so sloppy that it's illegible. Why is my handwriting so sloppy? Dream fades.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. 1/1 Sun: Hot Tub Revisited

      by , 11-29-2010 at 10:28 PM (One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy)
      Had other dreams but didn't write them down because I was focusing on the WILD.

      Edit: I now recall more of dream before the incubated scene.

      Flying, Teleporting, Hot Tub Revisited
      Method WILD
      Lucidity C
      Vividness B
      Control B
      Once again, I visualize the hot tub scene. I plan to return to this scene several times as I practice my first few WILDs. It's such a vivid memory for me. I visualize being in a friend's backyard a few steps from their hot tub. It's a party with a bunch of high school friends but mostly I am focused on the two girls in the hot tub who waiting for me. I concentrate on the blueness of the water and the silhouettes of the two people sitting in the hot tub.

      I transition into dreaming but I am not in the incubated scene. I am outside and it is very dark. I think I am in an alley surrounded by tall buildings. I start flying to figure out where I am. I slowly float up above the buildings and see the cityscape around me. It's still almost pitch black. I see the outline of buildings as faint silver lines. I also see a few spots of color of neon signs. I practice flying a bit. I try to fly standing upright instead of laying out with my arms stretched, Superman-style. I don't see any people or movement so it feels kinda lonely. I practice throwing fireballs and sonic booms. They seem dim and silvery, like the outlines of the buildings.

      Now I look upward, hoping to see stars or the moon. But there is just empty blackness. This disorients me and, when I look down again, the city is gone and I am surrounded by blackness. It's not scary though. I think to just fly to a new scene. I recall my visualization of the blueness of the hot tub. I think of that and start flying forward. Soon it seems I am going through a tunnel with the scene at the other end.

      Then tada! I am there, in my incubated scene. It's still dark of night, but somewhat lit. It seems to be lit by some of those tiki torch things that people put in their yards. Once again, it's my own backyard instead of the girl's who is hosting the party. I look at my hands. The fingers on the right hand are long and distorted. Cool. I step down into the hot tub and sit between the two girls. I look to the one on my right, Sara. I put my arms around her and appreciate how real she feels. I look at her face. She gives me a big smile. She actually looks like someone else that I recognize, not Sara. I start to turn to look at the other girl but my body goes stiff. I try to look at my hands but the dream quickly fades.
      Tried to DEILD but no luck this time.

      Updated 11-29-2010 at 10:39 PM by 35793

      Categories
      lucid
    3. 1/1 Thu: First Official WILD

      by , 11-29-2010 at 10:09 PM (One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy)
      This was last Thursday while I was out of town. This was my first successful WILD using the common sleep paralysis technique. I've had DEILDs and I think an accidental WILD once. But this was the first using this technique. Some interesting notes:

      - I've been attempting WILD on and off for about 3 months. Probably about 20-25 attempts.
      - I was out of town in a hotel room instead of my normal bed. It's the first time I've slept in a different bed in quite some time.
      - This was the night of Thanksgiving holiday, so I had a very large meal for dinner, but no alcohol.
      - I went to bed early, compared to my normal schedule.
      - The WILD happened after about 7 hours of sleep.
      - I had other dreams before in the same night, but I didn't have my dream journal with me so I couldn't write them down or recall them.

      The Hot Tub
      Method WILD, DEILD
      Lucidity C
      Vividness C
      Control C
      Awoke naturally after a dream around 7am, decided to try to WILD. I lay still on my back for about 10 minutes and felt some sleep paralysis. Changed position to my side and let my mind wander. After a few minutes, I felt sleep paralysis again and then a strange feeling in my head. It's like when you are really really tired and you feel a swell of tiredness in your head that makes you close your eyes and droop your head suddenly. This was my cue to start visualizing. I had a scene in mind, one that I've been trying to incubate for a long time.

      This is real memory from when I was about 15 years old. I'm at a party with a bunch of high school friends in a girl's backyard. They have a pool and a hot tub. I visualize standing a few feet from the hot tub, looking down into the blueness of the water. There are two girls in the pool wearing bikinis. Mostly, I am trying to focus on the blue blob of the water and the dark silhouettes of the two people sitting in it. I start to see the blueness in the hypnagogic hallucination.

      I transition into the scene as if through a tunnel with a blue light at the end. I am in the scene and I know I am dreaming. The scene is a bit wrong. It's my own backyard instead of the girl's. And the girls are sitting in reversed positions as compared to how I visualized it. But it's pretty much what I was trying to incubate. I can't move though and I still feel my physical body. I wait patiently and the dream gets a bit clearer. I look at the two girls, now on either side of me. I am excited that I've gotten this far. But now the two girls start arguing with each other. Something about getting your own job instead of working for your father. I'm surprised. I don't know where this dialogue came from. The dream fades.

      Now awake, but I can DEILD. I try to visualize the blue water again for a few moments. Then I am reminded that I am laying in bed, so my hallucinations change. I am in a bed with white sheets with the two girls instead of in the hot tub. It's pleasant but I try to concentrate back on the blueness of the water. I re-enter the hot tub scene and wait for it to solidify. I am calmer now. I am able to look around and appreciate the scene. It's bright daylight. I look at one girl and feel her skin. I look at the texture of her brown hair. I am aware that I am sitting in the water, but I don't quite "feel" the wetness. I try to focus on my body to feel the water. The dream fades again.
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    4. 2/6 Tue: Focusing on Tasks

      by , 11-03-2010 at 11:34 PM (One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy)
      So I'm trying to get back focused on my tasks. My lucid rate has been ok lately but they have all been kinda aimless and accidental. I want to get into my fun and rewarding tasks. Didn't actually succeed in any this night, but it was a good effort so I feel good about it.

      First Cycle Randomness
      0755: B. First cycle. Bunch of randomness here. Not sure of the order. I'm in an airport, picking up lots of loose change. I think there was just a party of something and there's a bunch of change left. There are also pushpins with people's names written on them. I think the one I read said Bill. I am careful to keep the coins and pins separate. Then my father is here and he's haggling with a man to buy a coin sorting machine. I really want him to buy it to make my job easier. The fact that he's haggling over the price makes me think he is cheap. Then I'm talking to my father about the pushpins and the names on them. They were part of some party event where each person is given a pin and you're suppose to find the person whose name is on it. Or something like that. My father and I are talking about the psychology of it. Something about how people's anticipation always leads to disappointment and therefore people's happiness is always going down. Weird. Then I'm at another party or maybe back to the party that started it all. A group of people are sitting on couches around one guy. He looks like a frat boy with a backwards hat and t-shirt. They are talking about the pushpin game. He's bragging about how good he is at these party games. Last time, the game was to annoy people and he won four times in a row. He also has his own internet video feed on him all the time called "HD Hale." Then I'm watching a TV commercial for MetLife with a statue at the top of a building. The voice-over is talking about how they have solid investments on Mars. The statue is of Abraham, Jesus, and 4 other monks holding torches. But then the commercial turns into a comedy skit. Jesus is now Robert Downey Jr. and he's talking to the Abraham statue, who is played by someone named Carmack. He's saying, "Hey Carmack, why do you always get to be the father of God?"

      Street Fighter Documentary
      0927: C. Hugh is watching a documentary about Street Fighter. The original stages were in an underground hideout of a gang called the Panthers. But they abandoned it because it was radioactive. Then it talks about the possibility of a sequel and what will happen to the characters after many years. I see an older Ryu with his face starting to wrinkle and his hair starting to go gray. It says Blanka won't be around because he can't have children.

      Counter-Strike, Lucid
      Method DILD (spontaneous)
      Lucidity B
      Vividness B
      Control C
      0949: Very quick time from the previous dream. I'm in a game of Counter-Strike. I must be T because all my enemies look like CTs. A guy is camping upstairs in a building with the Para machine gun. I sneak in through a window and kill him. I take his machine gun and start camping the same building. I'm at the top of a stairway, overlooking the front room of the building which has a front door and several broken windows. Many CTs try to attack me from this front door and windows. One has a shield. But I mow them all down with my machine gun.

      As I'm doing this, I sense that I'm narrating the action in my head. It's as if I'm trying to help myself recall this later for my dream journal. Now one more enemy comes to the front door with a flashbang in his hand. He throw it up the stairway and it goes off near me.
      This sudden flash combined with the self-narration makes me lucid. I stop fighting. I walk down the stairs and outside. I still see the CT enemies around but they are just standing still doing nothing.

      I look at the scenery. Vividness is pretty good. It's bright day. It seems like a small town in France or Italy with cobblestone streets and stone buildings. I'm in a large city square or courtyard, with impressive buildings on three sides and a street lead up a hill to the north. I've been walking up the street on the slight incline of the hill. I start to remember my plan. I rub my hands and look at them to stabilize. Feels pretty good. Next task: summon music. For some reason, I think I should be indoors for this. I turn around and see one of the buildings. It's an old stone church with stained glass windows. Think Notre Dame. It's beautiful and vivid. I start walking toward it, but the dream fades.


      More Gunfighting
      1108: B. It starts a bit like the end of the last dream. I'm in a quaint European town, but now it's near the ocean. I'm in a large courtyard again. In one direction there looks to be a shipyard. In the middle of the shipyard is a futuristic airplane that looks like a giant green and purple hornet. Hugh is here and I guess it's his plane. He's sort of like Batman and the hornet plane is like the Bat-Mobile. Hugh says he just got all the armor upgrades for it. He gets in and it flies way.

      Skip. The scene is now similar to the beginning of the previous dream. I'm in an old building that feels like a church. I'm on the second floor balcony that overlooks the large room below. I'm alone with a machine gun and I'm fighting off enemies below. This time, I think they look like marines from Starcraft. After a wave, I am reinforced by my friend H who leads a small group of his own marines. He says we need to move out. Before leaving, I pull out my dream journal, lay on the ground (still in the dream), and start writing in it about this dream.


      Bus Station, Failed Task, The Moon and Mars
      Method DILD (false awakening)
      Lucidity C
      Vividness C
      Control C
      1201: I think I am in a suburb of New York City. I am near the river at a bus station. It's early morning and it's mostly light but the sun isn't fully up yet. I'm looking around for someone or something, not sure what. There are a few DCs around and in the booth selling tickets. I walk all the way around the building and give up on what I was looking for. I am wearing a black sweatshirt and sweatpants but white shoes. I exit the bus station through a chain link fence. I get on a skateboard and start skating away toward a residential neighborhood.

      False awakening. I'm in an unfamilar bedroom with very little furniture. I'm sleeping on a cheap cot. There's just a bit of morning sunlight coming through a window to my right. This is all wrong so I become lucid and back it up with a nose-plug RC. But for some reason I question whether I am really dreaming. I nose-plug several times, each time confirming that I am indeed dreaming.

      So I finally accept that I'm dreaming and try to remember my plan. Rub my hands. Ok, I do that but I bit rushed. Summon music. The song I have in mind is "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. I imagine it in my head for a moment and expect it to keep playing on it's own. No. I try to will the universe to play it for me. No. I gesture with my hand, as if pressing a button on a remote control toward a stereo. No. Hmm. Not working. Discouraged, I abandon the rest of the plan.

      Instead, I hop out the window and hover and land on the street. It's a quiet residential neighborhood, like in the scene before the FA. The street is framed with big trees whose leaves have turned orange and brown for the fall. The sun is just rising in the distance and the sky is still a bluish-black with stars visible. I can also see the moon and Mars, which is right next to the moon and almost as big. The colors are so rich and it's a beautiful scene. I think to fly to the moon or maybe fly to Mars instead. I run and jump and get some height but then halt. It's like my rockets ran out and I slowly drift back down to the ground. Now I'm stuck and I start the feel my physical body. I can feel the sleep paralysis and so now my dream body can't move. Even my neck is stiff but I'm still looking up toward the moon and Mars. I know I'm waking up soon and I can't move, so I start bring the moon down to me! I pull the moon closer with my mind and it's getting bigger and bigger. It's about to fill my view and crash into the Earth when I wake up.


      Zerg, Driving, Bar
      1247: C. Was patrolling for Zerg (Starcraft again). I found some but forget to write down where on the map. (I think that was a false memory in the dream and I didn't actually experience it.) Anyway, I'm beating myself up for that mistake. Now I'm driving home in my car. The street looks like the area around my real office. I want to stop at a bar. I have to make a left turn into the parking lot and I have to wait a while as other cars are pulling out of the lot. I think I cut someone off. I walk into the bar and it's very small. Everything is wood paneled. I accidently bump into a guy near the door. He's with a group of rowdy people. They must be college students and I want to avoid them. I walk to the bar area. The stools are all out of place. I pick up one and place it at the bar and sit down. I'm sitting next to a middle-aged guy to my right. I think he says hello to me. There are two bartenders which I think is weird for such a small bar and only a few people inside. They are both young guys with short black hair. One says hello to me and asks what I want. I think for a moment and order a Corona Light (which I though was weird because I'd probably never order that in a real bar). Dream fades.
    5. 0/2 Mon: Uneventful

      by , 10-27-2010 at 04:47 AM (One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy)
      Had an energy drink and coffee late in the day which made it difficult to sleep.

      Wedding, Belt
      1130: C. At a wedding. Forgot my belt. Go to a closet to get one. It's too small. It looks like an Ace bandage. I put it on anyway. Lucas is in the room. He's upset about something and he's singing an angry song that sounds like Eminem. I consider asking if he is okay. But instead I just ignore him. Then I go back to the wedding party. An old couple asks me if I have a girlfriend. The man has a small statue in his hand.

      1337: F. Two sentences on illegible notes.
      Tags: coworker, party
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    6. 0/1 Wed: Longest Dream Ever

      by , 10-07-2010 at 09:55 PM (One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy)
      I want to say this non-lucid dream was an hour long. It just kept going and going. And in cycle 2? Vividness was only average or below. It was memorable, but kinda boring at the same time. I'm just going to skim over it here yet it's still a wall of text.

      B-Complex vitamin one hour before bed, drank natural apple juice

      Longest Dream Ever
      0637: B.
      Paradoxical Architecture and Drug Party
      I'm in a strange building with several floors and many staircases. It's hard to get to the room you want because each staircase takes you to a different place than you expect. I'm living here while going to college but I'm moving out soon, I'm trying to find someone to take my apartment. Then there's a family that moves in and I befriend their young 10-year-old son. Lots of deja vu feeling here.

      Then I'm hosting a few friends in this strange apartment and we are doing drugs. Then it turns into a formal party for a community of strictly kosher Jews. Everyone is doing drugs and talking about being kosher. Then the landlord shows up and I'm supposed to give him the keys. But I remember the drugs in the bedroom so I sneak back in and put them in a briefcase. I run away from the building with my friends.

      Mugged and Suspected
      Now I'm alone, walking on the main street of a small town. Reminds me of Monterrey. Instead of a briefcase of drugs, I'm now holding a bottle of whiskey, open and half empty. I sense there are cops around and also a criminal. I let the criminal steal the bottle out of my hand as he runs by. The cops stop me. They think that I gave the criminal the bottle, like a planned exchange. They think it's hard drugs dissolved in water. But I'm so scared and clueless that they realize I'm no criminal and they let me go.

      Bear-Lion Mating Season
      Now I'm walking with the friends again and we still have the drugs. We're in the middle of nowhere on a dirt path through some grassy hills. We stop and one girl snorts it all. She turns into a bear-lion kind of thing. Looks like the head of those big Chinese lion parade costumes with the big floppy mouth. She has thick black fur like a bear. The rest of us stand back, not sure what to do. A male bear-lion appears nearby and stares at the female, as if to mate. I try to make eye contact with my friend to see what she's thinking. She can't speak. I think perhaps she is afraid of the male and wants my help. She gestures with her eyes, which I interpret to mean "you guys leave, I'll stay". So I leave and the male pounces on her.

      Now I'm walking alone toward the nearest town. I see my bear-lion friend running down a hill toward the same town. I chase after her. She seems upset and I figure out that she didn't want me to leave. She wanted my help. Her eye gesture actually meant "let's all run that way." Now she won't forgive me. As we arrive in the town, she turns back into a woman. I plead with her but she'll never forgive me.

      Dalai Lama in a Diner
      Then, I'm sitting in a diner with Lance. He is reciting a quote from the Dalai Lama with a perfect voice impression. The quote (which seemed real, but I looked it up and couldn't find it IWL) is about idea of spiritual salvation contrasted with the distractions of modern culture. At the very end, Lance is just staring at me intently and I let the quote and the whole dream just sink in for a moment.

      Updated 10-07-2010 at 10:01 PM by 35793

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    7. 0/3 Thu, Both Sides of the Law

      by , 09-17-2010 at 08:41 PM (One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy)
      Good sleep habits lead to good recall. Zeo shows just three really long sleep cycles and I recalled a dream from all three. This is the first time I've recalled a dream from the first cycle. My pen is running out of ink.

      I was really confident I'd have a lucid and I had a few tasks lined up to do. Oh well. Tomorrow will be even better.

      0445: Sleep

      0635: C. I sense that I'm at work but the building is more like an apartment. It's dark outside, maybe raining. I am sorting laundry in a bedroom. I came to the office to work on the weekend? I was hoping to be alone. I have a bottle of Jack Daniels. Hugh is there. Lucas also works at this place. I am actually an undercover cop and Lucas is a criminal. We are both using aliases. I tell this to Hugh. He's getting ready to leave to drive home. I ask to wait so we can leave together but he leaves without me. Then Dave pops in (with Laura maybe?) He is going to a dinner party or something. I also tell him about being an undercover cop. I show him two photos are me and two of Lucas and tell him the real names. Lucas looks like Wolverine in his photos. Another couple enters the office. I vaguely recognize them but don't remember their names. Dave blurts out "Hey, Michael is really Lieutenant...!" but I forget the name I used. The couple doesn't really hear this from across the office. I shush Dave and he stays quite.

      0655: Back to sleep after WBTB

      0916: A. This dream was quite vivid and I felt I had an above-average degree of reasoning capability (although what I do in the dream is pretty stupid). Zeo reports that this dream happened during a epic 75 minute long REM cycle. But what I recall seemed about 15-20 minutes. I'm in a house in a nice suburban neighbor, but it's unfamiliar. I'm in a bedroom on the second floor. It's night outside. I'm talking to a girl who is leaving for a house party in the neighborhood. She suggests it's going to be really wild. She leaves. I look out the window and see two plastic baggies on the sidewalk near the lawn. I go outside and pick one up. Inside there is pot wrapped and labeled in plastic wrap and in vials. There's also rolling paper and a condom. I sense that these are for the party. Someone is spreading them around the neighborhood for people to bring to the party. I take them back up to my room and look at the them, reading the labels of the strange ingredients. I hide them under my bed, go outside to get the other bag, and bring that one up too.

      I open a laptop and find a live streaming video of the party. I join a live lecture. A guy is going to explain how to use the things in the bag. I feel nervous so I take the stuff down to my car which is parked at the curb across the street. I hide the bags under the passenger seat and lay down in the back seat. I see police cars rolling through the neighborhood. I pretend to be asleep but I know I'm going to get busted. A cop opens the front passenger door and takes the stuff from under the seat. Then they open the back door and I fall out. They charge me with... burglary? It seems the pot was bought with stolen money so having the pot makes me an accomplice to the burglary. I ask, "Isn't that 'accessory to buglary'?" The cops laugh and say they've never heard of that. I argue, "What if you're the guy driving the car from a bank robbery?" Then they say, oh, that's a good point.
      (IWL, I don't think any of that law or logic makes sense). I am walking with the cops down the street and they are friendly. It's starting to get light as morning comes. They are talking about gambling.

      1135: D. I think my recall was good but I was disturbed by my alarm and the dream faded very fast. I tried for several minutes to remember because it felt so close on the tip of my memory. All that was left was a fragment. Something about cooking food and wrapping it in bags.

      Updated 09-22-2010 at 07:21 PM by 35793

      Categories
      non-lucid