One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy

Notes: This night was the first using a voice recorder for my journal. It may take a while to get used to and I might change up my DJ format to accommodate.

Shenanigans in a Park
I'm across the street from a park. It's a big grassy area with a few trees. I'm looking at 2 parallel parked cars. I third card drives up. I recognize the driver as Brian, a classmate from high school who I don't like very much. I recognized one of the parked cards as belonging to my old roommate Hugh. Hugh's car is a sliver luxury SUV, maybe a Lexus. Brian's car is one of those tiny smart cars, maybe orange? Brian parallel parks his car in the tiny spot between the two cars already there. Even though he can fit, he unnecessarily back into Hugh's SUV to push it back and make more room. This annoys me.

Brian exits his car. I cross the street. Brian, Hugh, and I start to play a round of golf. The dream skips to after finishing playing and we are returning to our cars. Brian gets in his car and again unnecessarily backs into the car behind him to make room. This time I think it's comical in a crass way. Before speeding off, Brian stops and shouts to me "Are you sure you're okay?" I am annoyed by the question. I reply "I'm like a bomb. Like a bob-omb."

Nearby, there is a white plastic lawn chair. I run and jump on it, make it slide like surfboard across the grass. I ride it toward the park entrance, disrupting several games of golf as I pass through. Before reaching the entrance, I jump off and leave the chair. I say something about not wanting to be accused of stealing it.

Camp Dorm, Part 1
I'm entering a dormitory, walking down a hallways, looking for the room assigned to me. It is either a college or a summer camp for college-aged people. I find my room and start setting up a big screen TV so I can watch the Super Bowl. Then the dream jumps around a bit. I recall meeting a man, maybe the dean of the school or maybe someone impersonating the dean as part of a con. I see him in his office. He falls the ground and starts doing pushups to hide his face from the visitor and speaks in a fake voice.

False awakening. I feel a cat sleeping on my stomach. It's very furry. I'm sleeping on the floor and feel stiff. I awake to the sound of a woman's voice. I don't open my eyes. She seems to be a police officer or security guard. She is nudging me with her foot to wake me and talking on her radio about determining when I got a cat. Apparently, pets are not allowed in the dorm. Wake.

Camp Dorm, Part 2 [WILD]
After recording the previous dream, I attempt WILD. It take maybe 5 minutes?

I enter the dream in a dorm room similar to the one from the previous dream. This time it feels more like a log cabin at a summer camp. It's somewhat dark in the room but I can tell it is lighter outside through a big window. In the room is boy about 10 years old. He looks like me at that age. Very skinny and with a bowl hair cut. I ask his name but don't recall his answer. I ask if he knows how to fly. He both phase through the window and fly into the open air.

Outside it is dawn and getting brighter. Besides the cabin we just exited, it's all grass for seemingly miles around. I fly around with the boy for a while. I spot a young woman below us. I fly down to meet her. She has elf ears and is a bit chubby. I ask if she can fly. She says everyone can fly. I fly with her too. We fly up high to get a good view of the surroundings, looking for more people.

Looking north, I see a few more chubby elf girls. They are practicing archery. I land near them and approach. They are just finishing their activity and saying good bye. But they actually say: "Fuck you!" and "Fuck you, too!" but in a pleasant and cheerful way, as if "Fuck you" is a polite way to say good bye. I ask one of them, "What does 'fuck you' mean?" I realize am in a strange world of chubby elf girls and they must have different language dialect. She replies with "I'll show you" and starts leading me west. I intuit that she is taking me to bed.

We fly for a while. Eventually we come on a wooden shelter with some beds. It looks like a campground. The shelter is only a frame with some wooden slats to provide shade, not a building. On one of the beds, there are two guys, with elf ears but skinny. I become skeptical of what the girl intents. Dream fades.

Camp Dorm, Part 3 [DILD]
I have a false awakening in an unfamiliar room. My laptop is open and there's a conference call to work that I should be listening too. I try to pay attention to the meeting. The door is open. Outside is a dark hallway. I can make out a few beds in the hallway. There's a girl in one bed and a guy in another and a row of other bed that I assume also have people. It looks like the summer camp dormitory from previous dreams. I try to close the door so that the sound of the meeting won't disturb the sleepers. But the door doesn't close right. The door is too narrow and doesn't fit in the frame. I try to move the knob toward the frame and it breaks off and slams into the frame loudly. I've obviously woken some of the people. The girl gives me an angry look. The faulty door makes me realized I am dreaming. My lucidity is not very strong.

I turn back to the meeting call. My boss is explaining that it will take a long time to download the file because the project is very big. I know the reason is not that the project is big but that it includes a lot of sample data. I try to explain this.

I give up on the meeting and move to the window to fly outside. But the window gives me some trouble. Wake.

Video Game
I am a character in a what seems like a FPS video game. I'm in a dimly lit rocky canyon. I seem that I have spawned near the enemy base. I take the long way around a rock formation to the back of the base, shooting a few guys in the process. I near the base and intuit that my objective is to capture what looks like a stone altar by standing on it. As I approach, a lightning storm starts. A bone dragon swoops in and lands on the altar. I intuit that the rules of the game prevent you from capturing the altar while the dragon is there so I have to back away. Someone yells "Dragon eggs!"

Camp Dorm, Part 4 [DILD]
I am suddenly in a classroom full of students and a teacher. I am in one corner of the room and have difficulty seeing the teacher at the chalkboard. I move around the back edge of the classroom to the opposite corner to get a better view and sit behind a girl. The students are college age. I intuit that all the other students know each other but I am an outsider.

The class ends and the students socialize as their pack their things to leave. I cautiously talk to the girl in front of me. A big group of them want to hang out outside. I just want to return to my room and organize my study materials. I realize the similarity to the previous dreams and become lucid.

As usually, I find the nearest window and fly out to explore the landscape. Now the campground seems like a futuristic city. There are giant water tubes encased in glass that act like freeways. I phase in and out the through the glass, water, and air. It's fun to breath under water. There are giant sea turtles and friendly sharks.

I fly high to see what's above the tubes. Above the tubes are concrete slabs and I get stuck in one of them. I turn to look up and see Optimus Prime. I grab his hand and he helps me out. He suggests I interact with the people.

Supported above the concrete slabs is a whole other level that appears like a giant park. This time more typical air, stone, pathways, grassy patches, and pools of water. There are people walking and sitting. Most of them are the same chubby elf girls from the earlier dreams.

I approach a group of three girls wearing bathing suits, relaxing in a spa pool. I flirt with them.

Camp Dorm, Part 5 [WILD]
I recorded the previous dream and then easily re-enter with WILD.

I'm back in the camp dorm and looking to interact with the DCs. I walk into a patio where many tables have been set up like an art fair. There are many presenters but I seem to be one of the few visitors so all the presenters are trying to attract me to their table.

Here my lucidity and recall start to diminish. I recall one girl had a table full of different name tags. They all had her name on it, which was a long Indian name, but from different professions like you would see on the uniform of a doctor, a mechanic, and soldier, and police officer. I think this is very interesting. She asks me to pick one, in a sense, to choose a career for her by picking which nametag suited her best. I shift through them all and pick a coffee cup with her name on it. The coffee cup is shaped like a golf club, suggesting a career as a professional golfer.

There was another girl who I think was trying to choose a color for her dress. And another had two post it notes with the same message but in different ink and style. At some point dream fades.

On exiting the dream, I'm left in some hypnopompic imagery. I see through my sleep mask a television playing what looks like a sitcom. Three characters are in a house when there's a knock at the front door. The three of them quickly hide in a closet. Then from the closet, a four character steps out. He looks like Louis CK. The laugh track plays but I don't get the joke.

I wait through the imagery for a while, hoping I can DEILD back into a lucid dream. After a minute or so I give up, thinking I've dreamed enough and my body doesn't want to sleep anymore tonight.

fragment
I recall that I awoke from an earlier dream. Probably about 5 hours of sleep. I tried to commit some detail to memory but I can't remember now.

Mother, Sister, Basketball
I'm in a house with my mother and sister. It's like the SAV house but not totally. I walk into my sisters bathroom and see points out the new sink. It's strange. The knob for the water is very high at eye level but the faucet and basin are at my knees. My sister is happy with it.

Then there's a delivery man at the door and my mother lets him in. I meet them in the living room. The delivery man is really tall, burly, and has a scraggly beard. I think to myself something like "wow, he's a big guy." There are a few boxes opened and scattered on the floor. There's also a huge basketball the size of a beach ball. I pick it up and dribble it. It's a little flat but it bounces. My mother turns over some of the other boxes. There's another basketball, this one normal size. I take that one in my other hand and dribble both. As I dribble them, they quickly become flat.

There's a song playing that has the name Jack in the lyrics. My mother and the deliver many sing along. Then delivery man exits through the front door. On this way out, he says to my mother "goodbye Jack". She corrects him, "no, I'm Josh". After he's gone, my sister says to my mother "if thought I was Josh." I reflect that they are both pretend to be men as some kind of cover to hide their identity.

Chess, Leaf Blower
0647: Cleaning up after a chess tournament. In a backyard, me and another guy are folding up patio tables and umbrellas and picking up chess pieces off the ground. I use leaf blower to collect the stray pieces (but in the dream, I call it a wood chipper). Need to drive the tables to a new venue. A group of four girls is leaving and the other guy wants to follow them and try to pick them up. I have trouble starting the leaf blower. I say my father game it to me, like an heirloom. There is a swimming pool and a pickup truck.

fragment
I recalled this at the very end of the night. I think it fits in here. Sara holding the front door open for me at work.

Baseball Stands
0911: At a baseball game with my father. It's a huge stadium. I think it's the Dodgers vs the Tigers in Detroit. We sit way up in the nosebleed section. Then two guys I knew in high school sit near us. My father points them out: "Hey look who it is." I ignore them and don't want to talk to them: "They aren't my friends anymore." Then the scene is a much smaller baseball field like at a high school. One of the high school classmates is at bat. He bats left-handed. He hits a foul ball that bounces around our seats and I grab it. Father suggests I give it to the other guy. But I refuse and keep it.

Another foul ball comes to me and I catch it. Then a guy in the stands who is dressed like an umpire step out to the edge of the field. He looks at me as says "Hey, we need that ball back." I think about it and then throw one of the balls to him. Then the chuckles and walks back to the stands. He tricked me! I want to say "Nice lesson in honestly for your kid" but I don't have the chance.

Short WBTB in which I use the bathroom and recall my goals and intention

Doors
Method WILD
Lucidity C
Vividness B
Control C
Begin lucid in an unfamiliar house. My plan and visualization was a Christmas party from a few weeks ago. But this house is totally different. I walk through the house, opening doors, trying to teleport to the party. One set of doors is three sets of doors, like connected hotel rooms, but three doors instead of two. I open one set of doors and see a man who looks like Wolverine from X-Men, but shorter and less threatening.

I open another door and see a woman who looks like the girl from Boy Meets World. I kiss her and then walk past. Now I am outside. It seems like a remote mountain road and the house I was in was a luxurious winter cabin. I walk out to the road. It's daylight. I'm in the middle of an evergreen forest. Dream fades.

Shutter Island and Nice Car
Method DILD
Lucidity C
Vividness B
Control C
1114: Not sure how, but I become lucid. I am in the Daisetta house. Once again I recall my goal to relive the Christmas party. I imagine a girl there whose name is Rachel. Instead I am with a woman in the family room. She leads me into the bathroom. I kiss her (I tend to do that a lot) and look at our reflection as we kill. Then she tells me that Rachel was missing but they found her (this is from the plot of Shutter Island). She pulls back the bathtub curtain. There is another woman in wet clothes who seems frightened. The bathtub is divided into two sections, like a food lunch tray.

I lose interest in that and move on. I walk back to the family room and phase through the sliding glass door (with some difficulty). Now I am outside and walk to the front yard. It's night and the streets is lined with cars. Across the street, I see a nice car with the door empty and lights on. It's white sports car, looks like a Tesla Roaster. I walk up to it and climb into the driver seat. On the passenger seat, there is a lit candle. I blow it out. Then I shift the car into drive and peel out. I drive up the residential street as fast as I can. It's fun to drive so recklessly. I turn out on to one of the main streets of town and weave through traffic. Other cars honk and swerve. I try to go even faster but I can't seem to.

Haven't recorded my dreams for over a week. These are pretty weak in terms of recall and interest.

Spaceship, Randomness
0907: On spaceship which is one big open platform that we stand on. Something about Germans. Fighting. Kick guys down through a hole in the platform to their death in outer space. Cover the hole again to preserve the airlock.

skip

Learning a play in English instead of Spanish. Coworkers eating sandwiches for lunch.

TV
1135: TV crew interviews a couple about their [notes unclear: either "wedding day" or "missing dog"].

Indian, Newlyweds
1146: Guy from India is my teammate in a video game racer. His job is just to watch and control my resources and tanks. I win. His boss is upset but it turns out to be a misunderstanding. He gives me a printout of a bunch of Internet jokes. But they are all very old Coke vs. Pepsi gags. Interrupts me just as I am going in to the bathroom.

skip

Newlywed couple seeing a counselor. The guy is in the Marines and he has to leave for "basic."

Trespassers
1559: In a remote cabin, watching basketball with coworkers. I'm holding two people prisoner because I found them trespassing. I order McDonald's and share my French fries.

Basketball Fragment
Something about basketball. Coworkers play on a team against real pros. I am surprised that the lazy slobs at my office could be any good at basketball. Apparently, one of the coaches is a girl and she is really good at studying other teams and developing plays that find holes in their defense. Another guy I recognize plays as a forward, which I think is weird because he isn't very tall.

attempted to WILD but instead found myself in this DILD

A Small Room
Method DILD (absurdity)
Lucidity C
Vividness B
Control C
1145: Not much happened in this dream but I recall a lot of detail so my description seems long. I am sitting at a computer, typing. (Funny, that's exactly what I'm doing right now IWL as I type this. But I digress...) So in the dream, I'm sitting at an old computer with an old DOS-like terminal screen and an old clunky keyboard. I am in the middle of typing something when I decided test how fast I can type. I pause and think to type "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." Then I try to type as fast as I can, but really I'm just mashing the keyboard. I have a moment of self-awareness: Wait, why am I doing this? This is silly. Oh, I'm dreaming.

I am lucid. I stand up and turn around to get a sense of where I am. I am in a small room with no windows. It's lit by one small light bulb. There are two small desks with chairs that take up almost the whole room. Overall, it seems like a large closet or small attic space that was converted into a home office. At one end of the room, the ceiling is sloped which to me suggests I'm on the top floor of a house with a sloped roof. This remind me a bit of the closet in the bedroom of my old SAV house. But otherwise, the room is unfamiliar to me.

I weakly recall that my plan was just to remain lucid and maintain self-control. At this moment, I feel a wave of sensation from my physical body and the dream starts to become unstable. I try to remain calm and focus my vision on the room to anchor myself back in the dream. I rub my hands and things feel okay for now. I take a step toward the wall and touch it with my right hand. It is a very typical wall: drywall with white paint. It is slightly rough to the touch and so realistic and that gets me a little excited. I marvel at how such a mundane activity in waking life can be so interesting in a dream. I run my hand along the wall for about 15 seconds.

Now I turn to the other desk in the room and notice the chair. It's a very small office chair on castor wheels, like the one I keep in my utility closet. I pull it out to sit down. For some reason, the idea off sitting down in a chair with create deliberateness and awareness appeals to me as a lucid task. This seems like the behavior of a playful person who is drunk or high. ("Oh dude! Check out this chair, man! I really want to sit in it!") So yeah. I start to sit down but then I feel another wave of sensation from my physical body. I am slowly pulled out of the dream and wake up.

Catching up after a few days without Internet.

Guests, Cookies
Method DILD (false awakening)
Lucidity C
Vividness B
Control B
0623: Start with a false awakening and I become lucid very quickly. I'm in my own room. It's dark and still. I am a bit frightened. I get out of bed and fall toward the far wall as it gravity is going sideways. Up against the wall, I think to leave this room and go to a more pleasant scene. I visualize walking out the door to be joined by my friends having fun. Gravity now seems to be normal. I turn to the door and see light through the crack. This makes me hopeful. I walk confidently through the door.

On the other side is my living room, just like my real apartment. But it's light and pleasant here. Two young kids are running around the room having fun. I don't recognize them but I am friendly toward them. "Hi, I'm so glad you guys are here!" I walk up to one of the boys and stoop down. "Hey have you seen my girlfriend? Why don't you go look for her in the hallway. The kid runs out the front door. I look around the room and notice the strange wallpaper. It's bright yellow background with brightly colored patterns. Maybe plaid. I walk toward the front door and peek outside. I see the kid with two other people. One is S from work. The other is a short middle-aged woman that looks a bit like my mother but is unfamiliar.

I am pleasantly surprised to see S, considering I spent a long lucid dream a few months ago trying and failing to summon her. She looks a bit strange, like she just woke up. Her hair is messy and her face is rough without makeup. But it's definitely her. I kiss her a few times, gentle pecks on the lips. I welcome everyone in. I notice the kids still running around. I walk to the TV. "Hey, I'll turn on the XBox for you guys." I bend over and turn on the the game system, but it's actually a PS3. I think for a moment that I'm silly to make that mistake. I start to correct myself but then think, whatever, and let it go.

I turn back toward S and walk to the kitchen. There, I see a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. "Oh my God, my favorite!" I say. I take one and take a bit. It's so soft and gooey and sticky and delicious. I turn to S and smile. She says that the old woman made them. I thank her. I beckon S to come closer so she can try one. But the dream fades.

Another False Awakening
Method DILD (false awakening)
Lucidity C
Vividness D
Control D
0727: Playing soccer. I throw-in the ball from near our own goal. My team's defense sucks and the other team quickly steals the ball and scores. I get mad and attack the goalie. I knock him down. I turn to the rest of the players and they all shocked and staring, afraid of me.

False awakening and I become lucid. My room is dark. I sit up but can't move my legs. I look around and fixate on the door. I remember the previous dream and how I got out by using the door. Then I look at my hands and rub them together. I alternate between looking at the door and my hands. I'm trying to inching along the bed but I don't seem to be getting any closer.

I think to summon someone to walk through the door. I look at the door and become distracted by what looks like a mirror hanging on the door. It's about the size of a sheet of paper and it's hanging just about a foot off the ground. In front of the door, there seems to be a video camera on a short tripod. Also just about a foot off the ground. The camera is pointed toward the mirror and there's a dim spot light shining. I think, what the heck is that?. Dream fades from my confusion.

Football Fragment
1016: I'm a football player in the middle of a game. I'm playing tailback. The quarterback hands the ball off to me and I run left and dive over the line to the goal. It's very vivid and exciting.

fragment
1048: Something about using a computer to erase memories of dreams. But you can't erase dreams with you are dreaming of while you are accessing the memory of the dream, so you have to be thinking of something else.

fragment
0715: Running in a marathon. One coach suspects another of cheating.

WTF, Incomprehensible Notes
0757: Hulk goes back in time to stop a secret ... dates him. They work for ... deface some paintings with red paint. Then training for war. V for Vendetta. Brad Pitt. Sunglasses. False awakening.

Talking To Girls
0927: In school. It's a military school. I am called to another classroom. Baking cakes. In class. Flirting with Erinne from high school. Then another girl. Sara? Or maybe Erin from college. Talking about going crazy. Erinne sits on a swing set and starts bother me and the other girl who I am now talking with.

More WTF
1049: ... sex with Bridgette. Meet her two brothers. Then want to fight with our cars. So I drive around them and cover the shopping mall car wash food. I am driving a convertible. This is so one-sided. I ask if I can use real bullets.

Catching up from a few days away without Internet.

"F*** you, but nice sweater!"
0855: Hugh takes a job at my company. He has something to do with the reactor. There is a meeting in the office and the CEO is talking to Hugh. Then my desk is moved to the left turn lane of a street intersection. Now I walk to the reactor. Something about Iranians and a school. Now the buildings seems like a college campus with an impressive library overlooking a grassy area with trees. Group of people waiting for a large gathering. They are practice their speeches that they will give before the crowd. They are all young adults, like college students. I sit down ... map. ... I say "fuck you, but nice sweater!" He falls on is chair. I find a colleague I know and we laugh.

Ugly Glasses, Soccer
1014: Playing soccer with a mix of coworkers and high school classmates. One guy shows off his new glasses. I see they are way too thick and unattractive. I think at first to be polite, but I realize it's better that I tell him the truth that his glasses look ridiculous. The soccer game is on a grassy area in front of a building that looks like a old church or library. There are trees and water fountains in the middle of the play area so people have to run around. They are tripping on the roots of the trees. Our team scores. Then I get the ball alone with a long way to dribble toward the goal.

short WBTB+MILD

Tequila and Stuff
Method DILD
Lucidity D
Vividness C
Control D
1103: I don't recall how I became lucid. Nor did I stop to think of my plan. I mostly just observed this lucid dream. I'm outdoors at night. I am in a grassy area near a building. There's also sidewalk around the building. Reminds me of a spot on my old college campus. The area is lit by street lamps and lights around the building. There are a few people around and I am chasing them, like we are playing tag. I intuitively think that two of them are twin girls and they are both my wives. I grow tired of running and spot chasing them.

Now, the buildings near me seem to be restaurants and bars. There are impressive full length windows and outdoor patios. I walk up to the entrance of one building and it's a bar. There is a line of people waiting to get in. I pull a bill out of my pocket and smoothly hand it to the bouncer as I walk past the line and straight in. It's crowded with people inside with low lighting. I walk around the bar hurriedly, looking for anyone I recognize, but I don't find anyone. I come around to the bar and squeeze in to get the attention of the bartender. The bar is really high but with a glass case. It reminds me of the case in a Starbucks or a donut shop. Anyway, I order two shots of tequila (strange, I'd never order that IWL). I shoot one immediately. I take the other glass and walk away from the bar. I walk toward the front door. I shoot the second glass and toss it away. I step outside, back on to the sidewalk and start looking at the people around. I see people coming out of the restaurant next door. I hear music play as I start to approach a girl. She is wearing pink knee-high socks that catch my attention. Dream fades.

0748: Some residue here from watching Sarah Conner Chronicles lately. I'm playing a 1v1 basketball game against a terminator. It has no skin or clothes, so just the robot body. We are playing indoors. I am leading with a score of 17-16. The terminator has the ball as the buzzer is about to go off. He shoots a long jumpshot and... misses! I win! OMG, I beat the terminator. I was way too proud of this fact. Even when I woke up I was surprised and giddy. Anyway, then I show the terminator how backspin affects the arc of the shot and that's why he missed.

P vs D
I'm in a video game. It's a futuristic shooter. I'm just wandering through a spaceship when I come upon two teams fighting a match. One team has the clan tag P, the other D. P makes me think of Protoss, and for some reason I think D means Terran. The players where space suits like the marines in Starcraft. D's suits are blue, P is red. They aren't shooting each other though. They are playing a sport where you throw a ball, a bit like basketball but more like water polo without water (which, interestingly, is nothing like the game we call polo, but I digress). The glowing blue ball is in the hands of a player from the D team. The game is stopped and the two sides are arguing about something. Something about one team being rude. Then something about old forums posts for a clan called 3DM which later turned into D.

The Girl in the Window
Method DILD (false awakening), DEILD
Lucidity C
Vividness C
Control C
Short lucid here. Still got sex on the brain lately. Don't recall before, but start with a false awakening. I quickly realize I am not in my own room so I become lucid. I seem to be in a hotel room. The bed is near the window which is unshaded. It's sunny and bright outside. I look out the window. I figure I am on about the third or fourth floor. The window overlooks a swimming pool area which is surrounded by more hotel rooms on all sides. Down one floor and to the right, I see in through the window of another guest's room. It's an attractive young woman wearing just a towel. She sees me, we make eye contact. She smiles.

I step out through my window and directly to her balcony, all the way across the pool courtyard. It's as if the scene through my window is just a flat painting and I violate the fake 3D perspective and just step the short distance in 2D space. Does that make sense? Anyway, I somehow unrealistically get to the girl's room. Once I am in, things return to be more realistic. She is laying on a bed, still wearing just a white towel. She is brunette and nicely tanned. She smiles at me seductively. There's another bed in the room and another girl who I don't really pay attention to. I flirt with the girl in the towel:

Me: I'm the guy from the window.
Her: (laugh) I'm the girl from the window.
Me: Did you just get out of the shower?
Her: (nods, she stands up, walks behind me, takes my hand and starts to lead me away)
Me: (now aware of the other girl) Your roommate won't mind?

Then I wake. Damn it. I DEILD back. I'm in the same room, but the towel girl is gone. The other girl is still here. The towel girl had left my field of vision while I was looking at the other girl, so I guess this kinda makes sense. The second girl is blonde and pale, quite the opposite of the other girl. She walks to me and says nervously: "I'm not as good at this as she is", referring to the other girl who seems gone for good. We start to have sex but I'm still thinking what happened to the first girl. Dream fades. I try to DEILD again but no success.

Cats
Method DILD (absurdity)
I'm indoors, in a room, talking to someone. Maybe my sister? Oreo, my old cat from years ago is here. She bites me arm and stretches my skin with her grip. My skin stretches unrealistically. This is weird. I must be dreaming. I RC to confirm. Ok, I'm lucid. Remember plan: Summon B. I walk out of the room to a hallways. From the hallway, I see windows to other rooms. I try to imagine B in one of those rooms. But I fail to summon her. I wake up.

Weird Weapon
1228: I think I am with H's younger brothers. They show me an interesting weapon. It's a gun. You load it with a coin, such as a dime. It fires the dime and the bullet bounces against a soda machine. It bounces back and melts. It comes back to the barrel of the gun and turns into a bullet. You turn a crank to fire the gun. Larger coins, like a quarter, make larger bullets. I show this to Justin, who is a bit of a gun nut. He turns the crank really hard and the gun fires so hard that it breaks the soda machine and breaks the cycle.

Then there is some religious ceremony that is disturbed now that the gun is temporarily broken. People are upset because they has expectations for the religious ceremony.

Then I am with friends at a football stadium. The game just ended and we are leaving. They want to stop at the arcade to play a fighting game. I would only want to play Hearts, but they don't want too.

fragment
Roommate's mail has a case of beer. It's in his school locker. I move it to the mail slot. Then at a gas station. To activate the pump, you have gesture with a smile and thumbs up.

Decent night. Working on building my recall and discipline back up.

The Girl Moves Out
1122: A very emotionally charged and memorable non-lucid. I live in the Daisetta house. My roommate is S, a former coworker girl from real life, with whom I had a very brief and destructive romantic relationship. That experience was about a year ago and we've never spoken since. So in the dream, she lives in my house. Her room is next to mine. It's nighttime. I walk into her room. She is watching TV. There are a a few piles of laundry waiting to be folded. On top of the clothing, a couple of cats are hanging out too. I sit and watch TV with her for a while. Her and I seem to quietly accept each other's company. She doesn't freak out or act upset like I am afraid she will. We are actually having a good time hanging out together.

Then she leaves the room, I expect her to be right back. Maybe she went to the bathroom or to the kitchen. But time fast-forwards an hour or so and she hasn't returned. I walk out of the room and around the house looking for her. I run in to a strange man who startles me. I ask: "What are you doing here?!" He replies: "I'm one of the movers." Oh. I realize that S is moving all her stuff out. I walk out and find her in the backyard. We have this exchange:

Me: What's going on?
S: I'm moving out.
Me: But I thought things between us were just starting to be okay again.
S: (shakes her head)
Me: So you're really leaving? You know I'm sorry....

She walks away and back to her room. I stand still for a moment. I am crushed. But at the same time I realize this was inevitable. I probably deserve it. I follow her back to her room. She is packing up things. I start to help her. We have this quiet moment where I sense we are both sad but also realize this is for the best. Soon, she's ready to go. I walk with her to the front door. At the last moment, she turns to me, looks me in the eyes and asks: "Why?" I know what she means. All I can say is: "I don't know. I guess... I just really really really liked you. Too much, I suppose."

She gives me an understanding smile. She lets me kiss her on the cheek. We have one of those I-can't-believe-this-is-really-goodbye-forever moments. Then she turns and walks out to the street where a taxi is waiting. I close the door and reflect on what happened.

Then I think I wake up for real. But my mind is still really wrapped up in the dream, so I continue in a daydream, which seems obvious because of how the plot changes from something natural to something artificial and movie-like. I'm still standing just inside the front door, reflecting on all that is happened. I miss her. I don't want her to go. But I also feel guilty and ashamed. Then I hear the door bell ring. I open the door and there is S. Her face is full of anticipation, like she's about to burst. She says "I really really really like you too!" And she kisses me passionately. End. I suppose that's how I'd like it to end, but it didn't seem satisfying. It didn't seem genuine.

fragment
School field trip to a secluded private park. Trying to watch birds mating. Most people are off playing football. I ask if they are playing a real game but they are just tossing the ball around like 3-flags up. I join and throw a few times. My throw is really weak.

Umm... Yeah... I think I'm dreaming
Method DILD (absurdity)
1237: I'm coming home from work. I'm walking along a bike path. I stop at a public restroom. I walk up to a urinal. I look down and I have two penises, one lined up above the other. Oh, I really must be dreaming. I nose-pinch and I can breath. But I wake up immediately.

Dysfunctional TV Family
1346: Watching TV show on VHS tapes, on the big screen TV from the Daisetta house. The show is about a family with 2 daughters and a son. I think the parent is a single mom. The oldest daughter just finished high school. She had to take summer school classes to finish. The son drinks. The youngest daughter is a bratty and rebellious teen. In one scene, I sense I am in the car with the mom. We are in a grocery store parking lot. She backs out and then goes in reverse all the way out to the street. So we're driving down the street in reverse. Then she brakes and turns hard. The car starts to skid around and ends up going straight forward on the street. But it's a one lane street in both directions and we narrowly miss hitting an oncoming car.

Now I'm back in the house, watching the show again on TV. I am worried that it's getting late and I need to leave soon. I look and see several clocks. On on the TV, one on the VCR, and a couple other alarm clocks on top of the TV. They all show different times. I don't know which one to believe. So I leave the room to find a clock I can trust. End.

Been out of practice for most of the week. I can see my dream recall suffering. This was a good night though.

Practice RCs, Dream Guide
Method DILD (prospective memory)
Lucidity B
Vividness C
Control B
0626: I don't recall the beginning very well. I'm laying on a bed. My roommate is in the room. I push off a bunch of small wood blocks from the bed and they fall on the floor noisily. Then I pull the covers over me and my roommate leaves the room. I don't know why, but I remind myself to do a reality check. I nose-plug once and don't believe it. I do it again and now realize I am lucid. I remember my plan: do nothing, practice reality checks, let my dream guide find me.

I walk out of the room. I now seem to be in the Daisetta house. I walk out to the backyard and then around to the side of the house. I try a list of RCs. Many of these I've rarely or never done so I wanted to experience what they were like in a dream:

Nose-plug: I can breathe.
Count fingers: I have double-vision as I look at my hands but I still count 10 fingers.
Finger through palm: doesn't work.
Memory: I couldn't recall how I got to this house.

The next few needed some objects, so I walked back inside the house to the kitchen.

Clock: numbers were changing crazily, and I could will them to change.
Text: for double-spaced lines, the text seemed normal. Fsingle-spaced lines, it started to dance and look crazy. But for both I don't recall actually reading or remembering the words.
Light switch: I notice the light turn on and off but the light level doesn't really change. But there was also sunlight coming through the window so I wouldn't expect a lamp to make much difference.

Cool, that was interesting. Now what. I notice my roommate in the house, so I decide to will him to leave. I look at him and imagine that he is about to leave for work. He does starting moving toward the front door and out to a car in the driveway. I follow him with my eyes and my will all the way until he is gone.

Then I recall the bit about letting my dream guide find me. On cue, the door bell rings. I open it and a man enters. He's maybe 35, slightly overweight, with tan skin, black hair, and a goatee mustache. I don't recognize him, nor is he very impressive. He just looks like a random guy. In his hands, he has a brown paper bag. From the bag, he pulls out a candle which he presents to me like a gift. He says something like "Here's something that helps others in your situation." I try to interpret what that means but don't get it. He opens the bag and shows me what else is in there: a bottle of sake and a fried rice cracker treat that you might get at a Japanese restaurant or market. I'm trying to figure out what these things could mean and I wonder if this guy is really my dream guide.

The door bell rings again. This time, it's another man, a bit older than the last, with pale skin and a cleanly shaved face. He's wearing a blue business casual shirt and slacks. I imagine he is an accountant and I vaguely recognize him as a type actor who plays small parts in TV shows and commercials. He doesn't say anything. I look at him and back at the other man. Confused. Not sure what to make of this. Dream ends.

New AA At Work
1207: Living with my mother. New work office. I sense that my work is a TV show and we've started a new season with some new characters and a new setting. There's a new administrative assistant who is an attractive blond woman who reminds me of an actress. I need to fill in a overtime paycheck request form. I do this and give it to the woman. She checks and and sees I forget the date at the top. I take it back and realize I've filled the whole thing in pencil but it should be in pen. I feel embarassed.

Complaining About The Team
0144: In a dark office with Lance. It's raining outside. We are talking about the company football team. The quarterback was replaced by C and we are joking about how bad he is. He can't throw a spiral. Lance finds a radio broadcast of the game on the internet. Our team is losing. Now it seems to be college football instead of the company. We talk about what are team should do. Now it seems to be Starcraft instead of football. Lance says all they do it mass tier one units. I suggest something tricky like a DT rush.

Baseball
0551: C. I am playing baseball again after a long time. I start with batting practice and my swing is all wrong. I'm not holding my wrists through the swing. But the coach corrects me and it gets better. Then he instructs me on bunting. I realize I can't run as fast anymore either. The catcher is complaining about catching all day and his knees hurt. Then the coach tries to strike me out with some crazy screwball pitches.

Disturbing
0728: Ugh. This dream was weird and disturbing and it ruined my whole night. I don't even know how to describe it and I can't recall much detail now. Weird about my family and camping and people dying and accepting death and abused women.

was anxious from previous dream and couldn't sleep and ending up staying awake for hours

Movie, Cat, Alarm
1231: C. It's a movie with Sara Jessica Parker. She is dating a man and they are staying with his folks. A brick falls in the house and causes a chain reaction which hits the main character in the mouth and knocks out like 10 teeth. I have a false awakening in a bunk bed in the same house as the movie. There is a cat and a mouse and I am trying to keep the cat away. It is very vicious and has very sharp teeth and claws. A false awakening again to my phone alarm reminder to pick up the friend from the airport. But that should be in the evening. Is it really that late? Wake for real.

Enjoyed a lot of alcohol the evening before, so no recall for the first several hours. Then I had some REM rebound and recalled these short dreams. In bed for a total of 12 hours.

Chelsea Clinton Playing Lacrosse
0527: C. I have to write a report on Chelsea Clinton. I am looking at the wikipedia page, but I am upset because someone deliberately removed all the images. Later I realize that it's just a written essay and I don't need images. Then I'm watching a women's lacrosse game on TV and Chelsea is the star of one of the teams. Her team is up 7-2 and she gets taken out to rest. The other team scores two quick goals to make in 7-4. I think I'm watching with my father.

GTA in SAV, Hangover
0630: D. I'm stealing cars and escaping cops in SAV, like Grand Theft Auto. Not much recall.

False awakening that I totally missed. I'm in my own bedroom and I'm still drunk (day residue). Everything is really weird, but I account for it as drunk stuff I did last night. I'm under the bed comforter but not under the sheets. I get up. I'm wearing a heavy jacket and a pair of swim trunks. My bedroom door is wide open. The water in the bathtub is running. I walk into my closet to change. I see something in the corner of my eye to my right. I think maybe it's my own reflection in a mirror. I move, but it doesn't which freaks me out. Turns out to be Dave who was hiding in my closet.

Comedy Show, Wrong Page
0808: D. I'm at a Dane Cook show in New York. In the first part, he's in front of a small crowd. Then as part of the big opening, this small section of seats separates and moves down into a large theater. Dane Cook continues with his act but it's like a classroom and everyone is following along with books and notes. I don't know what page we're supposed to be on and I panic. There's a girl sitting to my left and one in front of me. I guess we are in a group. They are upset with me and trying to get me to the right page. As I flip through the book, it becomes my dream journal. This happens a few times. Now Dane wants someone to read aloud from the book. We are at the far right of the theater and there is a microphone nearby. The girl to my left is supposed to read but she has lost the page too. I am embarrassed.

Touch Football, Libido
0921 D. I'm with a group of people. I sense they are friends but I don't recognize anyone in particular. We are in a convenience store, goofing off. Running through the aisles and knocking things off the shelves. The employees are upset. Then we divide into two teams to play football (day residue) in the middle of the store. I'm on a team of another guy and a girl. The other team is 4 guys. I don't think that's fair.

We have the ball first. Me and the other guy on my team alternate as quarterback. We basically ignore the girl and just pass to each other. The first time I catch the ball, I turn and see the other team running toward me. I think, wait, we said touch football, right? Not tackle, I hope? It's touch football and no one gets hurt. My team is successfully driving down the "field". The endzone is the freezers at the end of the store. I get the ball, run to the freezers, open the door, and place the ball inside among the frozen pizzas and ice cream. We win!

At some point I become lucid. I'm still in the convenience store but no longer in the group of friends. I have no control and the dream is not very vivid. I just know that I'm dreaming and there's no consequences for whatever I do. So my libido takes the lead. Naturally, I look around for the nearest woman and tear her clothes off. She looks to be in her thirties but I'm not bothered. Her underwear turns out to be some rather scandalous light purple lingerie. I move in and kiss her but this narrows my field of vision. I close my eyes and the dream fades away.

Lucid Supermarket, Libido
1021: C. I'm in my car, driving at night. I'm hungry and stop at a supermarket to get something to eat. The supermarket claims to specialize in lucid dreaming. I think at one point the store is called Lucida Monica Market. Then later it is La Lucida Market. But it's in Culver City (day residue), not Santa Monica. Inside it looks like a typical supermarket. I search up and down the aisles for something to eat but nothing seems appetizing. There are quite a few DCs browsing the aisles and also way too many DCs behind the counters working. It seems like they are all staring at me, waiting for me to ask for help. I feel a bit paranoid and shy.

Then I come to the aisle that is supposedly for lucid dreaming. The signs above mark the sections with various lucid dreaming topics. The one I remember is "Expectations". But the items in this section are just a bunch of mirrors, knick-knacks, and craft supplies. I struggle to see exactly how this is relevant to lucid dreaming.

Once again, I'm bored and my mind turns to sex but I'm not lucid as in the previous dream. I scan around me for the nearest woman. Like the food, nothing seems particular appetizing, so I continue to wander for a woman. Before long, the dream fades.