The Lab Notebook

Night of May 23-24, 2011

I'm at Disneyland. I'm visiting with some guy who [apparently] designs and develops roller coasters. I watch a video of a roller coaster in action. The video freeze-frames at various moments.

At Disneyland, there is a new building under construction, and it is visible from the hub. [I think] It's in that space that they can never quite decide what to do with, the space that used to be home to the House of the Future and is currently a character meet-and-greet. The new building fits in well in its location; it's built in the same architectural style as the rest of Main Street. [It made sense in the dream.]

It is dusk, and the sky is clear and incredibly beautiful. I walk slowly down a completely deserted Main Street, carrying in both hands a lit candle in a clear glass cup. I take the time to deeply appreciate the deep beauty, calm, and peace of the scene around me. As I walk, the following thought crosses my mind: No matter who you are or where you go, you'll always find your way back home.

The goal toward which I'm walking toward is a single lightbulb, mounted in a light fixture in the teal-colored, wooden wall that forms the main entrance to the park. This light fixture is right next to one of the doors by which people enter and exit the park. I set my candle down on the steps leading up to the door, then go out through it.

On the other side of the door, there is a wide, concrete-paved entrance plaza. Out here, it's still earlier evening; the sky is on fire with the golden light of a sun that hasn't set yet, but will soon. There's still nothing but a vast expanse of parking lot beyond the perimeter of the entrance plaza. I see F.J. [a real-life friend] crossing the plaza, approaching me. He's been looking for me, because he's there to pick me up and take me home.

[The dream shifts.] I'm in a fancy restaurant, [possibly] in Downtown Disney or at the Disneyland Hotel. I'm with someone who I know is actually Eames, even though he looks exactly like Leonardo DiCaprio. [:-) Plot bunny?] He picks up a drinking glass from a nearby table and shows it to me, showing me that this restaurant is where one can find the kind of glass that my candle was in. He then tosses that glass onto the floor, breaking it. I'm horribly embarrassed by him.

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Side notes:
This was a particularly clear, vivid, and beautiful non-lucid. Not only was the scenery beautiful, but so was the sense of happiness, peace, and well-being I experienced while in the dream. I still felt wonderful when I woke up from it.

Night of May 24-25, 2011 [I think; or it might have been any day between the 25th and the 28th. That's what I get for not bothering to write them down immediately.]

I'm in my current bedroom with J. [a real-life student of mine]. I'm hugging her and pouring out love and affection, as if she were my own child, even though I know she's my student. She returns the love and affection, hugging me back.

I'm at work, viewing the contents of my work e-mail account. I discover, to my surprise and dismay, that earlier, when I logged in to Petpet Park from work using my existing password and my new work e-mail address, the site created a whole new account for me and began sending e-mail alerts related to that account to my work e-mail address. Each of these e-mail alerts is marked with one of Petpet Park's pawprint icons. I'm very worried that my boss will see these e-mails and find out that I've been goofing off and playing games at work.

[Different dream.] I'm having a somewhat heated discussion with my parents about my living arrangements.

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Side notes:

I was already consciously aware that I was anxious about the topic of the second dream, but not the first one. That first dream brought my guilt and fear that my less-than-stellar work habits will be discovered to my conscious attention for the first time. I love it when dreams give me useful insights like that.

[This is a catchup post. This dream is from the night of April 8-9, 2011.]

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm in my current bedroom. I have my mom's purse, and I'm on my way to take it out to the living room and put it on the cedar chest, where it goes. I think I must have just woken up normally, so as I walk to the living room, I'm thinking something like, If this is the real world, then that's fine. But if this is a dream...

By the time I get out into the living room, I've figured out that it is a dream. No specific trigger or dream sign tells me this; I just recognize the feel of the world around me, and what it feels like to be in a dream. I set my mom's purse down on the floor next to the cedar chest and turn to walk out the front door. As I move my hand away from the purse after letting go, I can see that no part of the purse or its strap is touching my hand, and yet I feel resistance on my hand, as if the strap were caught on my wrist. I realize, I can't just carelessly set it down and walk away, like in the real world. I have to think that I'm setting it down. My mind is controlling everything, and I didn't think about wanting to put it down, so it feels like I still have it. So I consciously think about letting go of the purse, and the feeling of the strap goes away.

I turn my attention to the front door. The main door is open, but the screen door is closed. It's a beautiful, sunny day outside. "This screen door..." I say to myself. I decide to take this opportunity to work on my goal of becoming intangible and walking through things. I concentrate on the ideas that door is not solid when I will it not to be, because this is a dream, and I am able to pass through it, and start walking through it. It works! I get part of the way through it, but I'm so pleased to find that it's working that it takes some of my concentration away from those ideas, which immediately causes the door to become solid again. I end up with the door stuck around the middle of my body. The door is now parallel to the ground, and my body is sticking through the hole I've created in the middle of the door. I can feel the ends of the metal wires poking me in the stomach and back. I feel very silly.

I give up on that for now and decide to just go flying again, since I know I'm good at that and it's fun. I turn back toward the interior of the house, take a step inside, and kick off the floor with my ankles, like always. I launch myself toward the ceiling and find I can easily stay up there, flying just under it in a lazy arc. I laugh out loud, feeling contented, pleased with myself, and so happy to be back in another lucid dream.

[Dreamskip.] My mom and I are riding on a train through our old town. The train runs along Church Street, which is lined with very large, elaborate church buildings in a variety of different architectural styles. [In real life, that street only has one, fairly small church building on it.] Some of the churches are still open, but others are empty and closed, and still others are now being used for other purposes. One of them is now a Ralphs grocery store. My mom says something about how our church is still open, even though several of these are closed.

The train comes to a stop. I say, “Isn't this our stop?” [I think I was still aware that I was dreaming throughout all this, but it completely didn't occur to me to do anything other than follow along with the dream plot.] We get off the train and walk through the high-ceilinged train station until we get to the entrance of a bird exhibit. The exhibit consists of a series of crooked, jointed tubes through which visitors have to climb upwards. There are chains hanging down from the ceiling of the tube near the entrance. There are windows in the tubes so that you can see out into the birds' habitat.

I start climbing up into the tubes. There is a guy climbing in front of me. There are lots of small handles attached to the walls in convenient locations for climbers to grab on to. As I climb, I notice that one of my hands [my right, I think] is partially numb. My ring and pinky fingers, especially, feel like they've fallen asleep. This makes it more difficult to get a solid grip on the handles with that hand, so I have to rely more on my left hand and arm.

[Dreamskip.] I'm now in this shop/museum exhibit place. I see a procession of people leave the room through one exit, including Willy Wonka as portrayed by Gene Wilder. I turn back to the interior of the shop, and see that my mom is at the checkout counter, buying something. There are several other people gathered around it. I ask an employee standing in the middle of the shop for directions to the exit. She makes a sarcastic reference to flying to get there. I reply, “Besides that.” She gives me directions to another exit. I follow her directions into another room of the shop. [At some point during this sequence, I don't remember when,] I see a page with lines from a musical written on it.

[Dreamskip.] I'm flying through an area where there are a whole bunch of big rectangular swimming pools, each with giant humanoid robots designed to look like sports players standing at either end of the pool.

[Dreamskip.] I'm flying up into space, flying backward and watching the view of the Earth below me. I go up high enough that I can see the entire round Earth at once. Then I decide to start going back down again. As I do so, I pass through a field of light-brown, rocky asteroids that surround the Earth. I see the ground getting closer and closer as I descend. I'm heading toward the center of North America.

I end up someplace in Kansas. I find myself in a large room with a bunch of other young women, all of whom are wearing old-fashioned green-and-white dresses with aprons. I tie a green cloth around my waist in an attempt to blend in with the crowd. A white pattern appears on the cloth as I watch.

The group of young women walks out of the room, and I go with them. The room proves to be underground; we exit it and go outside by walking up a sloping tunnel into the sunlight. When we get outside, I see that we're in a very well-done historical theme park with a richly detailed environment. I decide to start flying again, and I fly over the theme park, admiring the view of it from up high.

[Fragment – not sure where in the sequence this was, but I remember dreaming it.] I'm in the ocean, with waves moving around me. The waves are washing me up on to a shore. I think, Oh, crap. Is this the shore of my own subconscious? [I don't remember what came next, though.]

[The next thing I remember,] I find myself back at the area with the pools and the giant robots, still flying. I fly up in front of a robot who looks like a giant football player. He throws a football to me, and I try to catch it, but miss. He says something like, “That would have been complete for 10 yards!” I answer in a smart-alecky tone, “Yeah, it would have been complete... if my feet were on the ground!”

[Dreamskip.] I'm now in an airplane hangar, still flying. The hangar has very large windows that can't be opened. I decide to try to fly through them. I succeed.

“Holy s***! I did it!” I exclaim aloud. I've finally successfully gone through a solid object without leaving a hole in it! I'm very excited and pleased.

I fly around a bit more outside. I see that the hangar is one of many like it, all painted tan on the outside and all built in a big, dusty lot.

I woke up to discover that I'd fallen asleep with my forearms still resting against my ribcage, thus cutting off most of the circulation to my right hand and forearm. I realized that in the dream, when I had been climbing and noticed that one of my hands felt partially numb, it must have been because of the sense data coming through from my real body.

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Side notes:

Wow! This was a really long, elaborate lucid. The dreams that I remember probably lasted a total of between 15 and 30 minutes. I accomplished this via two means:
- setting a WBTB alarm for about 6 hours after I'd gone to bed and staying up for about 5 minutes, reading entries in my paper DJ
- MILDing for longer and with more tenacity than I have been lately, using phrases that included "I will have a lucid dream tonight," "When I'm dreaming, I realize that I'm dreaming," and "I bring awareness and clarity into my dreams."

When I woke up and was recalling my dreams, I made a connection that I hadn't made while I was dreaming: I've passed partway into mirrors in dreams on two separate occasions before. I always know that they're going to be intangible to me, and they always are. Mental techniques and expectations similar to the ones that have allowed me to pass through mirrors should also allow me to pass through other solid things, like walls. In fact, going through the screen door worked similarly: I knew that it would be intangible to me, at least when I first set out to go through it. In the future, I just need to sustain that thought/belief/knowledge for long enough to get all the way through the object.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I wake up in my current room, go out to the kitchen, and start attempting to make coffee. The coffeemaker is big and complicated, with lots of buttons, and I can't figure out how to use it properly. While it's percolating, I decide to take the carafe out [I don't remember why], and press the Stop button, but it doesn't stop completely. Six thin jets of coffee continue to come out of it, streaming down onto the heating element and boiling and sizzling away. I look in the cupboard for breakfast, and find lots of mini-donuts and other packaged foods there. All the time I'm getting breakfast, my mind is on the fact that I have to get out of the house in time for my 8:00 A.M. meeting. [I actually had such a meeting coming up in the morning in real life, and it was on my mind as I went to bed, so, not surprisingly, I dreamed about it.]

I have another false awakening in which I check the time on my cell phone and see that it's only 6:17 A.M. Good; there's still plenty of time to get to the meeting.

I woke up, for real this time, at the end of a sleep cycle, and said sarcastically, “Well, that was wonderful.” I didn't bother to get up to check the time on my phone.

I'm on my college campus, walking around outside the dorm buildings, which are big and L-shaped and multistory. I'm trying to get to my room, which is room number 16999-A (that is, bedroom A in suite number 16999). I stop and talk to a resident assistant (RA), who asks me where I'm going. I tell him [her? not sure], and he [she?] consults a list and says that someone else is already in that bedroom. I know I'm supposed to be in that room, and I say so, showing the RA the key I have to that suite. He [she?] permits me to continue on and go to the room.

I continue walking, outside, among the dorm buildings. I pass another RA at the entrance to a new part of the complex of buildings, and speak to her as well. She tells me that there's a game of Sardines going on in that part of the complex, and offers me a raffle ticket, which shows that I'm participating in the game. I accept it and continue walking. I find the entrance to suite 16999, which is at the corner of the long, narrow building, on one of the longer sides. I stick my head in the door, but don't go in. [So I never did find out whether or not anyone else was in my bedroom.] All throughout this part of my dream, my mind is still focused on the fact that I have to make it to an 8:00 A.M. meeting.

I continue exploring around the sunny side of the building. There are basketball and handball courts there; it looks a lot like the playground of an elementary school. The sunlight is very bright and cheerful. On the other side of the courts from the building, there is a chain-link fence on the border of the playground. On the other side of the fence is a river.

Not far from the playground is a covered pavilion housing the queue for a tram that offers tours of the campus. It's the same kind of tram used at the parking lot at Disneyland. The tram passes through, setting out on its tour. A group of five students with ski masks on, their heads wrapped in white cloth, and dark sunglasses are walking alongside the tram. They're tour guides, and this is their on-campus job. They're holding a series of signs that say something like, “Be sure to pay your tram driver.” I wave at them as they pass, and they wave back. As the tram pulls out of the pavilion and drives away, a group of five or six people runs out of the queuing area, trying to catch up with the tram. They wanted to get on it for the tour, but they got there too late.

[Dreamskip.] I'm walking across a parking lot. I recognize that I'm dreaming, and that I've had this dream before. [Now that I'm awake, though, I don't remember having had it before.] I begin to concentrate on my feet, watching them move as I walk. I'm wearing dark red-brown, slip-on, closed-toed shoes with big bows on the toes that are made of the same shiny, leather-like material as the rest of the shoes. As I approach my car, I attempt to ensure that my computer backpack will be in the trunk when I get there by expecting it to be there this time. It doesn't work. Other stuff is in there, but no computer backpack.

Some guy starts talking to me as I look into my trunk. My boss is there, too. The other guy gives me a long, ornate, old-fashioned, brass key with a long, thin black string tied to the loop on one end. When he gives it to me, he says something like, “These instructions are very important. You must never let this item leave your possession.”

“Because it represents my soul?” I ask.

“It represents a lot of things,” he answers. I infer that my soul is one of those things.

[I don't remember the rest of the instructions, but they probably included the following information, because I do remember knowing it:] I understand that this key is a skeleton key. It's not just an ordinary skeleton key, either; it is magical and can unlock any door in the dream world.

That guy, my boss, and I go exploring somewhere else together. I use my key to unlock a door at one point. At another point, I ask that guy, “Do you have a name?”

“Karim, or...” he begins.

“Karim,” I say. “Okay.” To me, the way he said “or...” after his name implies that he has many names, and I'm welcome to use any of them, but I just go with the first one he says.

Karim, my boss, and I are climbing a ladder up through a narrow shaft. I look up and am intimidated by how long the shaft is, but I can see the top of the ladder, far away. [That's the last thing I remember from this dream.]

When my alarm finally went off, I was relieved that I was back in reality, and that there was still plenty of time to get to the meeting.

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Side notes:

I don't remember having the high level of conscious self-awareness in this dream that I've had in past lucid dreams, but if I started trying to use dream powers, I must have known that I was dreaming. Also, when I was receiving the instructions about the key, I was definitely aware that the context to which those instructions applied was my dreams, which I was in.

Have I met my dream guide? I can't say for sure. I feel uneasy about it. What I can say is that I hope Karim and the key show up in future dreams.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm taking a shower at my current house, getting my hair wet [I actually had short hair in a dream for once! I think that may be a first], when I notice that the shower curtain has these white mold florets (they look kind of like broccoli florets, except with an open space in the middle) growing out of it, in addition to the flat, green mold that was already there. I say, “Pretty!” when I see the white ones.

I woke up and remembered my dream. I thought briefly of going to check the actual shower curtain to see if it was moldy, but then said to myself, “That would require getting up, now wouldn't it?” I didn't want to get up yet.

I'm in my old neighborhood, the one where Houses #1 and #2 are located. I'm on a short, connecting street that slopes slightly downhill [it does that in real life as well as in the dream]. I'm hopping up and down on one foot. I observe that this action feels the same and produces the same results as it would in reality. [Though, in retrospect, I was hopping at least two feet off the ground and falling back down really slowly, or at least I perceived the falling as happening really slowly.] All at once, when I realize what I'm doing and how strange this situation is, I realize that I'm dreaming, and I say, “Oh, g**d*****.”

I decide to walk around and explore. All the streets are laid out just as they are in reality. I walk up the short, connecting street I was on, turn right, and follow the curve of one of the big, main streets until I get to the corner where another main street branches off from it. From there, I look off into the distance to the southeast, and see a panorama of lots and lots of houses reaching far into the distance on a gentle downhill slope. I also see random images on the horizon, such as a guy who might have been a hockey player. “Wow, you can see really far here!” I remark. The sky is blue-gray and filled with gray storm clouds.

I rub my hands together to keep this dream going. It feels normal to me [at the time; I realize now that it felt different from what it feels like in reality], but when I look at them, they look multiplied, like I'm looking at them from several angles at the same time. I say softly to myself, “Increase clarity,” but it doesn't seem to do anything.

A bunch of cars have stopped on the sides of the main street I'm on, to the north of me, and a bunch of people are getting out of them. I know not to trust them, so I turn and start walking away from them. Then the dream faded and I woke up.

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Side notes:
It's been an interesting week. A lot has been going on in real life (don't worry, it's good stuff), and I've learned that I have many other things to do with my time that are more important than keeping up this journal. I'll still post when I have something new to post, just not as frequently as I did in the fall.

Non-lucid, 'Video-game-controller mode' [see side notes], Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

My dad and I are on a bicycle ride together. I've just checked out a thick paperback book from the library, and it's in the rack on the back of my bicycle.

I'm outside a movie theater in Florida, with my mom. Directly across from the entrance to the theater is a small kiosk where you can get drinks in plastic cups. She and I get some drinks from it for the whole family.

False awakening in my current real room. I hear the sounds of people shouting something about a surfer dude, and decide to follow the shouting out to the creek, but decide not to wake my parents. As I'm walking out of the house, I see that there's a bunch of writing in thick, black letters on the back wall of the dining room, as well as several papers with more writing on them taped to that wall.

I'm entering an upstairs apartment. My uncle is there.

I'm walking past a junior high school. I see a large group of kids in PE uniforms setting off on a run around the perimeter of the school.

I continue walking, and my route takes me along the street in my old neighborhood that goes around the edge of the park. I'm going in the direction of House #2. I turn around and see a tiny, cartoon kid with a BB gun standing behind me on the sidewalk. I'm a little worried that he's going to shoot me with the BB gun, but in the end, I ignore him and continue walking.

I reach House #2. In the garage, floating vertically in midair, is a menu of choices, like on a DVD. They say something like 'imaginary ideal' and 'reality' [I think; I don't really remember.] I select the former first, and find myself standing in my bedroom at House #2. The room is arranged the way it was in reality, but everything in it is completely white. [I really wouldn't call that design choice 'ideal.' However, when I lived there in reality, almost everything in that room really was white, and I was pretty happy living there.] I return to the menu, and this time, I select 'reality.' After making this selection, I find myself back in the same bedroom. It's still arranged the way it was in reality, only now the bed has a green bedspread with flowers, kind of like the one I have right now in reality [which I bought when we moved to House #3], except that the pattern is bigger and bolder.

I look out the window of my room and see a wide view of rolling grassland, with a lot of people walking around all over the place. There's only sunlight shining on one small, roughly circular section of the scene, though; the rest is in shadow. I speak aloud to the scene, saying something to the effect of, “It should be sunny all over the whole scene!” The sunlight spreads to cover the whole scene.

The scene shifts without my noticing it. The window of my room is now a doorway that opens onto a scene of an arctic landscape, with a wide, shallow pool of water in it. [An aside: After all those times I complained last month about the lack of snow in my dreamworld, I finally had a dream with snow in it, and not only did I completely fail to remember that I was supposed to make a snowball and hit somebody with it, but that Task of the Month is over now, anyway! Argh.] I walk out into the scene. From the far side of the pool, I step into the water, trying to walk on it, but I quickly give up the attempt because I get scared away by an orca and a walrus approaching me through the water. I walk back out. I then get the impression that they weren't really threatening me, after all. I go back toward the house. My mom is standing outside the doorway, and I tell her she can watch me do this if she wants to. I start walking back toward the pool of water again, concentrating on continuing to walk forward, straight into the pool, while believing that the surface of it will be just as solid to me as the ground is. It doesn't work; I end up standing ankle-deep in the shallow water again. [That's all I remember.]

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Side notes:
I'm really not sure for how much of the above sequence of events I was actually asleep and dreaming, and for how much of it I was awake and actively using my regular old imagination. I felt like I was doing the latter for at least part of it, hence the green text, which I always use to indicate a sort of half-awake, half-dream state where I know that I'm using my imagination like a video-game controller to control what happens. The division between green and purple text (indicating a lucid dream) is mostly an arbitrary guess. Then again, I was definitely aware that I was dreaming by the end, so it's entirely possible that I really was dreaming the entire time, and that's what dream control feels like. If so, that's really cool! I really advanced a lot in the area of dream control last night. I will have to experiment with this further.

I'm mildly annoyed, but not at all surprised, to discover that verbal commands work really well to control my dreams. As much as I love Inception and would love to be able to alter the dreamscape just by thinking about what I want to happen, that idea is relatively new to me. I've been a Star Trek fan for years, so it's not surprising that the older and better-entrenched idea that one can change one's surrounding environment by giving verbal commands, like they do when using the holodeck on Star Trek: TNG and later series, would take precedence over the newer idea that one can change one's surrounding environment just by thinking about it. Now that I know what works for me, though, I guess I'll go along with it.

[Fragment] I'm in a grocery store, sitting at a disused checkout stand. The store has recently been rearranged so that the checkout stands that are actually being used are on the opposite side of the building, but the old ones were left in place.

I'm parking my Saturn [the car I had in Florida] in the parking lot of an Albertsons grocery store [none that I've ever been to in real life]. I notice that the temperature gauge on the car is maxed out [as it usually was in reality]. I think about how I have to make this car last all year because, in my situation, there's no other method of getting to work that will do. [In this dream,] I'm back in Florida for a second year.

When I went back to bed after having taken some handwritten notes on the above dream, I noticed that my body already felt heavy. I decided to roll with it and try to WILD. I had attempted to do so a few days before during an afternoon nap, and had gotten as far as one of my arms starting to go numb before my mom interrupted me with a question. This time, I succeeded, and to my surprise, it wasn't nearly as scary as I had thought it would be. My hypnagogic hallucinations consisted of a buzzing sound in my head that seemed to go on for a few minutes. Then it stopped, and a few seconds later, I find myself lying in my bed, looking around at my current bedroom. I immediately recognize the false awakening for what it is, since I had been expecting to be dreaming. I did it! I think excitedly.

None of the lights appear to be on, and yet I can see everything clearly. In other words, the room looks very much the way it does when early-morning sunlight is coming in through the window, and yet I'm aware that it's nighttime. I get out of bed and start walking out of the room. Just before I walk out the door, I do the nose-pinch RC just to verify what I already know, and for the cool experience. I can still breathe, which I still think is the neatest sensation.

I go out the door and walk down the hallway. This looks exactly like my real house. There's no one else around. As I pass by the door to P.'s room, I notice light coming from underneath it, but this is normal in our house, so I don't investigate. I go to the front door and open it. It's exactly like the real one, too; I even have to unlock the deadbolt on the screen door before I can open it and go outside.

I walk along the front walk. I notice that I'm wearing one of my summer nightshirts, the one with the teacups printed on it and the pocket in the front. It occurs to me that I could have stopped and gotten dressed if I had thought of it, but I didn't, and it doesn't matter anyway because this is a dream, so it's only natural for me to be wearing sleepwear. I'm not cold at all, though. [The strange part, which, of course, I didn't realize was strange until I'd woken up, was that I wasn't wearing that nightshirt in reality; I was wearing my new purple pajamas. It does get cold at night in the winter here, so I always wear pajamas in winter.]

The scenery outside my house looks just like reality, too. When I get to the driveway, I take off and fly in the way that I've learned to do it, by pushing gently off the ground with my legs and feet while thinking about initiating the act of flying. [The mental process involved is very similar to the mental process involved in starting my bicycle moving with that first push on the pedals, now that I think of it.] It works, but once again, once I get airborne, I immediately start getting pulled backward. I try to relax and let myself be pulled along, as before, but it seems I'm not being taken anywhere in particular. Then I hear a male voice that seems to come from the air around me, and yet sounds like it's coming through a radio speaker. It says something along the lines of, “If you always expect life to go the way you want it to go...” but doesn't finish the thought. I finish the thought with, “...you won't be able to control it?” [Hmm. Very interesting.] [Because, once again, I've forgotten to concentrate and pay attention to the scenery,] the dream fades and I wake up.

[This next dream is from my next sleep cycle on this same night. I'm adding this section on 1/15/11. I didn't have time to write all this out on the day I had the dream, but I did today.]

I'm watching a series of commercials and reading some poster-sized ads for kids' day camp programs at a chain of big, fancy hotels. There are two such programs: one is called “adventure camp” and features soccer, while the other is called “non-adventure camp” and features poetry and other non-athletic, creative activities.

Then, I'm at one of the big, fancy hotels, sitting on the floor in the lobby, leaning up against a wall. I use my laptop to log in to a game website, not Neopets but similar to it, that I've been to before. I wonder, Do I remember my password for this site? The login screen plays music. A lady comes by and asks me to go outside, where the music won't disrupt the quiet of the lobby, so I do. I go out to a wooden patio with several metal table-and-chair sets on it. There are people sitting at the tables and studying, though, so I press the Mute button on my laptop. I ask one of the girls on the patio if the chairs at her table are taken. She offers me a seat, and I take it. Another girl sees my laptop screen, and we have the following conversation:

Girl: Is yours a dragon?
Me: (after figuring out that she's talking about my pet on the site I'm logging on to) Yes, it's a silver dragon.
Girl: They know about it.
Me: Who?
Girl: Your 'rents.

I haven't told my parents about this site. They know about my Neopets account, but not my account on this site. I wonder about the girl, Are you my dream guide? but don't ask her. [Yes, I managed to think that without realizing that I was dreaming. I don't even know.]

Me: We don't get along very well right now. This is part of the reason.

I log in to my account anyway. The screen shows animation of the digital creatures on the site fighting each other by shooting beams of various things out of their mouths, like some Pokémon and Digimon do.

Last night, I remember waking up post-sleep cycle and thinking, Man, that dream was awesome. I don't wanna sit up and write it down, though. I already stayed up too late and am not going to get enough sleep tonight. I'll do it in the morning. And, of course, now I don't remember what that awesome dream was about I really need to start going to bed earlier and writing dreams down as soon as I wake up from them again. Since I couldn't remember that one, I decided to enjoy some time thinking about dreams by spending the morning getting caught up on DJ entries from the past two weeks that were still only in handwritten-note form, and now I'm all caught up.

Awake, Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

Night of November 26-27

[Fragment] I'm listening to one of Guy's lectures in person and/or via cell phone.

My parents have remodeled our kitchen. The color scheme is the same as before [the same as it currently is in reality], but the stove and the sink have switched places. [Also, the layout is totally different from how it is in reality.] My mom and I are in the kitchen, making tea and coffee. I look through a canister of little packets of coffee and tea for something I like.

[Longer dream begins here] I'm driving down a street in my mom's car, with the top down. [My mom's car isn't a convertible in real life.] I'm in an old residential neighborhood that's apparently somewhere in the UK. Throughout the rest of this dream, all the environments are incredibly detailed and realistic. I turn around and drive back up the street and through an open gate in a stone wall, into the old center of town, which I explore on foot. The plaza is made of stone. There's a castle on the right and a bell/clock tower on the left.

I take the train to get up to the next town. The train car is full of old, plush couches and seats. An old man on the train starts telling a story. Looking out the window, I see fields, trees, a sign that says something like “You are now leaving (town name),” and a train on another track that looks just like the commuter trains I'm used to here in the US.

The train reaches its destination. I remember visiting this town once before. The train station there is inside an enormous hangar complex, which is also an airplane museum. Several small, old airplanes are on display. There are a fairly large number of people there playing tourist, but it's not crowded. There are also several restaurants in the complex, including a pub and a taco place. I think of getting something to eat, but I know I have no cash on me, and I worry that my credit cards won't work.

Night of November 27-28

I drive through the mountains and enter something that appears at first to be a half-underwater base, but later turns out to be a big ship, by going through an underwater airlock. There are lots of other people on the ship. There's a storm going on; big, pretty snowflakes are falling, and big chunks of ice are falling from the mountains onto the ship and into the water around it. We can't sail out in this storm, so we'll have to spend the night on board. I see Tracy F., who is in charge of the ship and all the people on it, bustling about on the deck of the ship. Either I or somebody else [I don't remember] says, “Poor Tracy's so busy she hasn't even had time to notice the storm, much less make an announcement.” There are bathrooms on board; I absentmindedly wander into the men's bathroom, which gets me some weird looks.

I'm at M.V. High School to watch an athletic meet. I've left campus, so I have to sneak back onto it by hopping over a gate in a fence. I have a shopping cart, but I abandon it somewhere. I explain to some sort of security officer what I'm doing on campus. I also meet a big, omnivorous alien that I recognize in the dream as belonging to one of the Siglerverse alien species [but who doesn't look anything like any of them], who tells me a story about something.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm standing just outside the window of a cream-colored building, looking up and into the building through the window. There is a sort of rectangular tower or column inside the building, wide enough for the name of the building to be displayed at the top in tall, narrow, bright teal letters made of molded metal. [The font is Times New Roman, or something like it.] I'm controlling what letters appear there by typing on a keyboard. First, I type “Walgreens Bookstore.” Then, my mom is standing next to me and rebukes me gently, telling me to put in the real name of the building. I backspace over what I've typed, and the teal letters disappear. I then type the real name of the building, “Public Library.”

Once again, I realize easily and naturally that I'm dreaming. Saying something like “Wait” to my mom, I turn away from the window and look to my left, intending to go and explore. The sidewalk I'm standing on outside the public library runs right along the edge of a river, which has more sidewalks and buildings all along both sides. The dream only lasts a couple of seconds before fading, though.

I'm lying on a mattress on a floor somewhere. There are blankets covering me, and my dad is bending down closely over me, as if to tuck me in. I'm breathing hard, and it feels like I'm being smothered. I start to panic, but then I think, It's okay. It's just a memory. I can't breathe because I have a stuffy nose in reality. [Which I don't, by the way, but it seemed logical at the time. Also, that must have been either a false memory or one from when I was really little.]

Dreamskip. I'm still on the mattress on the floor, but my dad is gone and the blankets aren't over my head. I'm in between two raised platforms [loft beds, maybe?] with shelves built into the sides, and there are all kinds of toys and books and stuff all over them. Someone says something about being in seminary. [I don't really remember this part.]

I find myself looking up at a white stucco ceiling high above me. Thinking I've woken up, I try to DEILD back in, and succeed. [LOL, I just performed a DEILD within a false awakening! Awesome!]

I'm back on the mattress on the floor again. This time, I reach out from the mattress to feel the carpet beneath it. It's brown and semi-shaggy, the kind we have in our current house. I'm not fully immersed or engaged in the dream, though, and it only lasts a few seconds.

When I woke up for real, I remembered and remarked aloud: “This house doesn't have stucco ceilings! All its ceilings are flat!” Only then did I realize that that had been a false awakening.

--------------------
Side notes:
I really like that brown carpet. I've noticed that in my dreams, any indoor space where I'm residing usually has that kind of carpet, even if it's not my current house. I think the reason I'm so attached to it, and therefore, the reason it shows up so much in my dreams, is because I helped pick out the carpet for this house, unlike at either of the other two houses.

Also, that public library is so going into my current NaNoWriMo novel. Most of it is set in a dream world version of Louisville, where I lived once and which is by a river.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm at the camp I went to as a kid [Not the one mentioned in the catchup post below, another one] with my dad. The lodge is a Marie Callender's [Cool!], and we're going out to dinner there. We get a table and order coffee and cookies. Mom is already there and tells us to come over and join her at her table. She's mad at us for not seeing her when we came in, or looking for her in the crowd. Dad and I get up and move to her table, bringing our coffee and cookies with us.

While we're in the restaurant [I think], I start looking back at old pictures of myself on various camping trips. One of them is of my and several of my Literacy AmeriCorps friends, including Laya, Jen, and Chelisa. The oldest picture is from junior high school. It's a big, panoramic picture with lots and lots of kids and their camp counselors in it. I'm near the far right, next to Erica. [She didn't even go to my junior high.] Those of us who are on that side of the picture are standing near the grassy edge of a cliff; one of the boys on in the picture is pretending to be about to step off.

I wake up in my current bed. I try several times to turn on the lamp next to it, but the bulb just flickers and sputters every time I try. I turn the knob until the flickering stops, tighten the bulb in its socket, then try again. Still nothing. I go out into the hall to look at the digital clock on one of our cable boxes, to see what time it is. It says 7:39, which disappoints me. Aw, man! It's time to get up, I think. Then I look again and see that I made a mistake: it's only 2:39. So, I get my notepad and start taking notes on the dream I just had.

...And then I woke up for real. This time, I remembered to do the nose-pinch RC. I was very annoyed with myself for not doing any RCs before and not catching the FA, especially when I realized that I had missed not one, but two of the classic dream signs, one right after another. My mind is great at giving me clues that I'm dreaming; I'm just oblivious.

After that, it seems to take me a really long time to get back to sleep. While I'm trying to do so, I think, Oh, crap, I can't talk to Cj on the phone tomorrow at 9, because that's when I'm meeting with Frank. I get up, take my laptop into the study, and sleepily start writing her an e-mail explaining that we'll have to postpone our date to talk on the phone because I have a conflicting appointment. I'm working in Yahoo! Mail [which is what I use for my main e-mail account in reality], and press Send. Suddenly, annoying, circus-y music starts to play out of the computer's speakers, and the screen is filled with a weird, old, basic HTML page with a colored background. The page appears to scroll down automatically. One of the first things to appear on it is a single sentence of text that contains my name. This is what makes me realize what's going on: I've stupidly allowed my Yahoo password to get phished by entering it into a fake website, and now my laptop has a virus. I let out a long string of curse words (actually, the same curse word repeated many times). Windows starts scanning my computer, trying to fight the virus.

Mom and P. are coming home. According to the digital clocks on the cable boxes, it's 12:02 A.M. Leaving my laptop on the floor of the study, I go outside to the street to meet them. They're coming home in a red VW New Beetle (where did they get that? I wonder silently), which they're parking on the curb across the street from our house, because our two regular cars [the ones we own in reality] are taking up both spaces in the garage. I come over to greet them as they're getting out of the car. As we walk back toward the house, I look at the side yard and see that there's a bamboo tree that sort of looks like a fountain there. Ooh, that's pretty! I think. P. goes back to put some more CDs in the New Beetle. [Neither it nor the bamboo tree exist in reality, of course, but I didn't realize that anything was strange until after I woke up. :/ ]

I woke up for real at 5:00 and took down more notes. I realized in hindsight that it hadn't actually taken me as long to fall asleep as I had thought; at least part of the process, and everything after that, had been a dream. I didn't actually have any such appointment with Cj, anyway. I was amazed at how completely and totally this dream had convinced me that I was in reality.

I'm indoors somewhere, and I'm wearing a cowboy hat. I look behind me and see my friend D.W. there, riding in a wheelchair. I think, Oh, good, she got a wheelchair. I feel the cowboy hat on my head and think, Oh, yeah, this is a dream. I can feel the by-now-familiar sensation of lucid-dream consciousness. I open my dream self's eyes and look very briefly at my hands, which appear normal, then up at my indoor surroundings. To engage more fully with my dream self and its sense of touch, I reach up to touch the brim of the cowboy hat with both hands, then take it off. I'm sitting in something [possibly another wheelchair, but I don't see it, so I'm not sure]. I stand up and try to turn around and talk to D.W., but just then, I heard my mom talking out in the entryway, which took my attention away from the dream, which instantaneously kicked me back into reality.

----------------------
Side notes:
I should choose my MILD affirmations with more care. The ones I focused on the most this past night were “I am self-aware and in control in my dreams” and “I bring clarity, lucidity, and stability into my dreams.” These backfired rather spectacularly in my second dream of the night. It was perfectly clear and stable, and, as far as I could tell, I was just as self-aware and in control of my own actions as I am in reality. And yet, I never realized that I was dreaming. I focused on that aspect more as I was trying to get back to sleep after 5:00, and it worked, if only briefly.

Awake, Non-lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

[These are all my dreams from the past week or so that I hadn't gotten around to typing up and/or posting to this DJ, until now. Most of them are pretty fragmentary because I wrote about them from notes long after the fact. None of them were lucid. My most recent dream, from last night, will be in a separate post, because it's longer.]

Night of November 10-11

I take a lengthy tour of a camp I've been to several times, answering questions asked by people who have never been there before. We're all there for our organization's annual fall conference. There are two cabins up high on a ridge, and a big meeting/dining hall on the low ground, right near the entrance. [I knew it was that camp while I was in the dream, even though it has a completely different layout in reality. This was a pretty long dream, but I can't remember any more details now.]

I'm with Ariel from the Disney version of The Little Mermaid. We're finding our way through a Little Mermaid-themed maze. It's one of several mazes at Walt Disney World.

Night of November 11-12

Mom, P., and I are out to dinner at a restaurant with an outdoor patio. P. asks me if I got any gumbo the last time we were there. I answer that no, Dad ate it all.

I see a two-year-old girl on the street. I walk with her back to my grandparents' house. The front door of the house has two separate sections that can open and close independently of each other. We get into the house by opening the top section of the door first. When we get inside, we discover that my grandparents have a new, upright, Scrabble-like electronic board game in their house. It involves a countdown timer.

Night of November 12-13

I'm in my current house, and I listen to a voice mail from a publishing company. I return their call and talk to them. We try to organize a live interview in 30 minutes' time. They're even willing to give me directions to their office over the phone. We don't schedule the interview for 30 minutes from now, though, because that's not enough time for me to shower and get dressed. They put me on hold for a bit. When they come back, we agree on next week instead. They expect me to bring a completed, polished novel manuscript with me to the interview so we can talk about it, and I don't have one, so I think, Okay. I only have one week to finish one of my novels. My hair is long and in a French braid, and I decide to leave it that way and not wash it before the interview.

I'm with my friend Jane R. She's trying on a cute dress made out of a towel-like, terry-cloth material, and I'm helping her adjust it.

I'm watching an episode of “Rugrats” in which one of the babies helps teach another how to use the potty, and they are found by one of their moms.

When I woke up, I went, Oh. I guess I don't have to have one of my novels finished by next week. Although that would be nice. I think I had that dream about the interview because I was worrying about how I was going to balance writing, studying, and job-hunting just as I was going to sleep.

Night of November 14-15

A Christian band sings a song about their dying dog.

I'm watching the pilot episode of a superhero TV show. The show will have a superhero team consisting of 5 boys and 3 girls. I will be one of the girls on the team. I know this from watching the show's opening.

Night of November 15-16

I'm at a church camp, standing outside the little trailer where the leader of the camp is staying. His wife is sitting on a chair outside the trailer. She tells me that I can't talk to him right now because he's sleeping.

I'm getting ready to leave the camp. I'm in the process of moving my stuff out of the space in and around a twin bed in a cabin, but I'm not done yet. I come back into the cabin to continue packing, and there's another girl already lying in my bed. I tell her that I was using the space, but I'm vacating it and she can have it now, but she has my permission to play with my teddy bears. Three of my teddy bears are lying on the end of the bed [I own all of them in real life]. She answers that no, she'll take the responsibility for cleaning the place up.

A third girl who is also in the room asks me, “Can I at least do your makeup?” I look at my face in the mirror next to the bed and see that it has red blotches on it, and several large zits, including two on the left side of my jawline. I agree to let the girl do my makeup, and we go over to another wall of the room, where there is a dresser with various cosmetics on it. I see that one of the bottles of makeup is labeled inception, and I think, Oh, cool. I didn't know that was the brand name of the makeup I used. [*facepalm* Oh, dear. That really should have clued me in that I was dreaming.] I reach for this bottle, but the girl who offered to do my makeup chastises me, snapping at me to spray myself first with an alcohol-based antibacterial cleanser that comes in a pale teal bottle. I do so, wiping it over my face with a cotton ball.

[I was lucid throughout both of these dream fragments, but I didn't manage to relax or stabilize them because the house had already gotten up, so I was in a hurry because I knew I was running out of time, and I was sleeping on my side again, so I wasn't as relaxed as I could have been.]

I'm in my current bedroom. I throw two thick, blue foam-rubber mats onto the floor between the end of my bed and the closet, and throw myself down onto them. They land with a gap in between them, which I can feel when I land on them, so I go, “Ow!” The closet doors open, and P. climbs out of the bottom of the closet toward me, with a look on her face as if she were trying to scare me by pretending to be a zombie or a ghost. I think, but don't say, “No. You can't be here. You're not even at home right now. You're away at college.”

I'm standing on the grass in the backyard of House #1. There is no study. [Nor is there a swingset, now that I think of it.] It's nighttime, and the sky is a beautiful indigo blue with a few stars in it. There's an enormous, white full moon, much larger than it ever could be in reality, hanging in the sky to my left (to the north of the backyard). When I stare straight at it, it fades away into the background blue like the contrasting color does in some optical illusions where things disappear, and then fades back into view. I look back down at the grass, and the wooden bench from the backyard of House #2 is there, facing toward the moon. I think, “Wait, what am I doing here? I'm still dreaming.”

I'm in a classroom that kind of looks like it's in a high school, having a conversation about my teacher with the teacher in that classroom (I'm from another class). She says, “His name is Guy, right?” [It is, in real life, but I'm not in high school anymore.]

My mom and I are driving on a dirt road through a big park on a cloudy day. [We're actually sitting in the front of the car this time.] The park has lots of big, dark-green trees in it, and several playground areas. It is located somewhere in the Santa Barbara area. At one point, the dirt road goes right through the center of one of the playground areas, so there's blue and orange play equipment on either side of the road. We stop here, and my mom asks me, “Did you know that this was where your dad and I met?” I say no, and then she tells me the story of how they met.

FA in which I discover that my bed has shifted around until it's sticking out from the wall between the desk and the sewing cabinet. I wonder how on earth I managed to move around so much in the night that my bed moved that far.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

When my 6:30 alarm went off this morning, I was still sleepy, despite having gone to bed just after 10, and I felt somehow sure that I'd have at least one dream that I remembered if I slept in for another hour, so I reset the alarm for 7:30. Luckily, before I fell asleep again, I remembered that REM cycles take 90 minutes, so I reset it again for 8:00. [I'm not entirely sure in what order I had the following dreams, nor am I sure whether the first one took place before or after the 6:30 alarm, but here they all are.]

I open my eyes in my bedroom and immediately notice that the light fixture in the center of the ceiling has a square cover over the lightbulb, like the light over the shower in my real bathroom, not a round cover like it does in my real bedroom. I say right out loud, “That light is wrong, so I must be dreaming! HELLS TO THE YEAH!” I get out of bed, but then stand just inside the door for a few moments, trying to figure out whether or not I can still breathe through my nose while pinching it shut. It seems I can, but only a little bit. Confused, I give up trying to figure it out and leave the room to say good morning to my mom. She's there, just like normal. I go back in my room and, still hopeful that this might still be a dream, try to walk through one of the walls. Again, it doesn't work; the wall and I are completely solid to each other.

The Dream King is talking to me. [Not the one from The Sandman; it's the gryphon from the Rankin-Bass version of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”] He says something along the lines of, “When you summoned us for fun times earlier, you bounced and lay down. The next time you do it, could you lay on your back first so the palace doesn't get shaken around?”

I'm in a park somewhere with P. We have to go through it to get home. There are all these dogs running around, and she protects me from them just by knowing how to act confidently and politely toward them. At some point, we end up riding bareback on a horse through the park. I can feel the horse's hair. Eventually we get to an escalator and start riding up it (yes, still on our horse). It goes up into an enclosed chamber with animatronic figurines in it, designed to look like the riders of the escalator are coming out of the mouth of some giant creature. There is some kind of audio narration playing, thanking us for visiting this attraction. When we get to the top of the escalator and exit the chamber, we're on a street.

The 8:00 alarm went off for real, and I recalled all of the above. I went out of my room and talked to my mom.
Me: I just had a really confusing dream. Is this the first time I've come out to say hi to you this morning, or the second?
Mom: The first.
Me: I thought so. That's what I dreamed about.
After I'd confirmed it, I started feeling happy and proud about having another lucid dream.

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Meta-commentary:

The WBTB+MILD technique seems to be working well for me, at least giving me interesting dreams with good recall, if not consistently giving me lucid dreams. I've found something that works for me, though, so I'm going to keep it up. I was making the effort with my MILDing again last night, but I could be putting even more effort into it. Also, I had my cardboard-square bracelet on for most of the night, but I think I took it off when the 6:30 alarm went off because I was tired of wearing it. I'm not sure, though, so I can't say whether or not I was wearing it when I had my lucid dream. Finally, I shall have to remember not to rely on the nose-pinch RC so much; it served to confuse the issue rather than to clarify it. Next time, I'll try the finger-counting method.

I had a late night last night and wasn't concentrating properly when I was falling asleep, so I can only remember fragments.

[1] My parents and I are having a conversation with somebody. The subject of an internship I once had comes up, and my mom describes it as “the anti-job” and goes on to explain why. [Which is, in fact, a rather apt description.]

[2] I'm in a room that looks like my bedroom, except the furniture is all in the wrong places. [doesn't count as an FA because I don't actually remember waking up]