• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. funny girl on sketch team; wearing diaper

      by , 01-12-2012 at 02:44 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a big room, kind of like a meeting room in a church building. It had a lot of school desks in it. But the desks were all scattered about the room. There were a few standing closets or cabinets againts the walls. The room was lit with a kind of drab, greenish, fluorescent light.

      A few people were in the room, kind of shuffling about. It was like something had just ended, possibly the rehearsal for some kind of sketch comedy team. At least a couple of people were famous. One of them looked like Pam from The Office. The other one may have looked like Jim.

      The woman was standing at one of the closets, maybe rifling through a bunch of coats, looking for her own coat. The man was sitting at a desk, possibly writing on a sheet of paper.

      The man and the woman were still in character, and they were improvising some lines back and forth with each other. They were kind of insulting each other in a flirting way.

      At some point the man said something to defend himself or build himself up instead of insulting the woman. He somehow compared something he was doing to something a famous person (maybe Napoleon?) had done.

      The woman answered with some kind of rhyme that was almost a song, and used history in a very precise way to shoot down what the man had just tried to make sound like a good thing. Everybody in the room started laughing, including the man.

      (To bad I can't remember the joke! Ugh...)

      There was another man standing at a closet that stood against the wall to the left of the woman, as she was facing her closet.

      This other man was talking to somebody -- possibly me, but I'm not sure. He was saying how good the woman was at taking really slight cues at just a moment's notice and turning them into something really clever and hilarious.

      Dream #2

      I was probably in a bedroom. I was laying, or sitting in some really slouched position, on the floor. My back may have been against a wall. My legs felt crowded, as if I were right up against a bed or a TV stand that had a quilt over it. The light in the room was a nice, warm incandescent. The carpet may have been brown and kind of thick.

      I looked down at my body. I was skinnier than usual -- probably too skinny. I was wearing a diaper, probably a Pull-Ups diaper with Dora the Explorer on it. The diaper was completely broken. So I wasn't really wearing it. It was mostly just laying on my crotch. I wore underwear over the diaper -- I'm not sure if they were boxer briefs, like I wear, or some kind of panties.

      I had an erection, and I needed to pee. I may have thought at first that I should just pee in the diaper. But I knew that would be a dumb idea. The diaper was totally broken. My pee would probably just go all over the place.

      Updated 01-12-2012 at 02:46 PM by 37466 (changed "in the office" to "on sketch team")

      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. psychology lectures; hollow ship in storm; home after losing job; freud limp

      by , 12-11-2011 at 03:00 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in some large area like a high school gym or an assembly hall. The place was unlit, but there was natural light coming in through some windows high up on the walls. The hall was filled with folding chairs, arranged in two aisles of seats.

      I was toward the back of the seats, maybe even standing a few meters behind the back row. The seats seemed to lose their order toward the back, and may just have been scattered all over the place.

      Up at the front, people had been giving presentations. There were two presentations. Each presentation was given by two people. I don't remember the first presentation.

      The second presentation was about the psychology of Carl Jung. The first person gave some kind of theoretical or philosophical overview of Jung's psychology. The second person then, apparently, acted as if he were Jung, though he seemed to be acting more like Sigmund Freud.

      This presentation was now over. Everybody stood up(including me? - I guess I had been sitting, now) to leave. I seemed to be eager to leave. But now someone called for me. The person said that I still had to do my presentation, which was about Freud.

      I realized I had been hoping to get away without having to do my presentation. But now that it turned out I'd have to do it after all, I was actually kind of looking forward to doing it.

      Dream #2

      I was in some gigantic, empty structure. It was like a parking garage: just an empty, dark structure with no walls. There were no lights in the structure. I was on the second floor, which was the top floor.

      The structure looked out on a big, wooden ship. The day was grey and the waters the ship was in were getting rougher and rougher.

      Now a lot of people were getting onto the ship. I was something like the ship's captain -- a tall, kind of big and strong man with a long, red-brown beard.

      Another man told me that perhaps we shouldn't go out to sea today. The weather was looking worse and worse.

      I didn't know whether to agree with the man. It seemed like all the people getting onto the ship -- a bunch of rich-looking men and women (mostly women, I think), dressed in nineteenth-century-style suits and dresses -- were still really looking forward to the trip.

      But now I was flying down, from the top of the structure, toward the ship. I could see that the ship had two levels to it. Both of these levels could be seen through the sides of the ship. In fact, there was no protection at all in these levels, and that's where the passengers would be during the trip. I now even watched as a huge wave of water poured all the way through the levels.

      I knew this was trouble. But I still thought I could get the passengers on the ship and take the trip. Perhaps we'd all have to stay on the top level. But then, perhaps, the waters would clear up, and we'd be fine.

      Everybody was still loading onto the ship. But now I flew over the ship's deck. I now saw that the slate-grey waters were swelling up almost to the very deck of the ship. I realized now that there was no way we could go anywhere. I decided to get the passengers off the ship.

      A terrible storm had come and passed. I was now in the water with the man who had been warning me against putting the ship to sea. I'm pretty sure that all the passengers had been evacuated from the ship before the storm. But the ship itself had been sunk. The man and I were in the water, looking for the ship.

      It was black night, and the man and I were taking turns diving under water to look for the ship. Eventually the man seemed to come up with what looked to me like shattered fragments of the ship. I was sure this meant the ship was somewhere below us.

      Now I dived under the water -- or, rather, someone dived under the water whose viewpoint I had, though "I" was still above the water. As I saw from this other person's viewpoint, "I" myself was still wondering whether I should dive under the water.

      I wondered how I would be able to see under the water. The person whose viewpoint I saw now had goggles and was wearing a scuba-diving suit. He also had a flashlight attached to his head. It shone just enough for him to see a couple meters in front of him.

      The man (or I?) came upon stacks and stacks of beige, plastic cubes that almost looked like small stepping-blocks. These were apparently the basic elements that had made up the ship. The pieces were cluttered all over, almost like stacks of boxes. I knew that this meant the ship was here.

      I surfaced. Now that we knew where the ship was, I thought, we would simply pull it up, and everything would be fine.

      But I had surfaced into a gigantic, dark room. My headlight was still shining, I think. A few other people were also in this huge room. They probably had lights shining near them as well.

      I waded in the water and looked around me. Jutting up out of the water were shattered pieces of the ship. Some of the pieces looked like the ship. Other pieces simply looked like wooden boxes or the plastic stepping-blocks. Some people were wading in the water. Others were sitting on the ship fragments.

      Dream #3

      I walked into "my mom's house." I came in on the first floor, through some kind of back door. The entire floor was charred, like a fire had hit it. But this seemed normal to me.

      I saw a book of mine on a little counter-like space at the head of a stairwell to a basement. It was a white paperback book with red-pink lettering. It may have been a horror novel. I knew that there was a computer (perfectly fine) on a charred table a "room" over. The "rooms" were hardly rooms -- the walls had been almost completely burnt away.

      I walked toward the table with the computer. My plan was to get on the internet and look at some kind of entertainment thing for a while.

      But I had to walk quietly. My mom was downstairs with a few other family members. I didn't want them to hear me. I had lost my job. I was coming home really early in the afternoon. I knew if I was too loud and too obviously on the internet, my mom would wonder why I was home, and why I was wasting my time on the internet.

      I heard a few of my footsteps creaking across the weak floor. I knew that I wasn't going to get through the house unnoticed. So I figured I'd just go down into the basement, let my mom know I was home, and let her know I'd lost my job.

      Dream #4

      I may have been looking at a website like YouTube. I had chosen a music video called "Freud Limp" from a list of video.

      The video first began with some kind of Pampers diapers advertisement from the 1970s. A couple of little kids were in a place like a doctor's office with their mother. The kids all ran to a bookshelf on the left side of the room and began grabbing huge boxes of Pampers diapers off the shelves.

      The music video now began. It also seemed to take place in a doctor's office. The view was of the waiting room of the office. The area was kind of small, lit with natural light and pale, fluorescent light.

      There was a reception window on the right wall, possibly with an adjacent counter, which was lower than waist height, running along the back area. Behind the low counter was a wall of shelves of manila file folders holding patients' records.

      As the song began, the main singer, perhaps a British man, bald, pale, kind of tough looking, was carted out with a woman and maybe two babies, on something that looked like a mix between a car for a really fast roller coaster and a grocery cart full of baby supplies.

      The man sat at the back. The woman sat at the front, facing the man. The babies sat in the middle, huddled in between all the bay supplies. The man's and woman's seats may themselves had looked like car seats for little babies.

      I heard the song very distinctly, and I can recall the melody. There were two verses. The first verse ended with some statement about the man seeing a smile on the woman's face and knowing that, despite all the uncaring stuff she'd said in the first part of the verse, that she really did care.

      The second verse went something like:

      "Sometimes I want to get away,
      I want to get away, I try to get away.
      But when I finally get away..."
    3. japanese doll; alex' friend dies; haunted bathroom; cemetery drive; chicken mouth; old co-worker

      by , 11-23-2011 at 04:19 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was walking through the hallways of a school, possibly walking faster than usual. I headed into one classroom, off to my right. The classroom was big and bright, partly with morning light and partly with fluorescent ceiling lights.

      The front half of the classroom seemed empty of desks. But right at the front were three microphones, spaced about two meters apart from each other.

      One or two girls, maybe around twelve years old, may have been standing at the microphones. The girls may have been dressed very primly.

      The girls were going to give some kind of presentation for this class, which was a Japanese class. The presentation would be some kind of recital, maybe even a mini-concert.

      One of the girls may have asked me about my presentation. I realized I had to give one, too, even though I probably wasn't prepared.

      I was now "upstairs," in some room with my sister. The room had furnishings in it like might be found in a bedroom or living room. My sister may even have thought of this room as her bedroom.

      My sister was getting ready to go "downstairs" to school. She was going to bring a baby doll to Japanese class, as a kind of show and tell project.

      My sister had the baby doll sat up on the floor. The doll's legs were stretched out in front of it. My sister put a diaper on the baby doll. But the diaper was huge on the doll -- so huge that only the doll's head poked out.

      I didn't want to make my sister feel bad. I wanted her to feel like she'd done a good job of putting a diaper on the doll. But I may have made some joke about how the doll looked.

      I may then have told my sister that she should use a smaller diaper on the baby doll. But I couldn't think of what kind of diaper would be appropriate.

      Dream #2

      An episode of the 1980s TV show Family Ties. Alex Keaton was in the kitchen. He'd just heard that one of his best friends had died, right after leaving Alex' house. Alex was upset. He made some kind of sarcastic comment in a shaky voice.

      Alex was about to leave the house, either to go to the hospital or to go to the funeral. But his family stopped him. Alex' mom Diane told Alex that the family would leave the house together. Diane told Alex he wasn't to blame for his friends death. So he should just relax and go with his family.

      Everybody in the family left the house. They were all -- including Alex -- wearing hooded sweatshirts or hooded parkas. The hoodies were all in pale or pastel colors.

      The family was now in front of a door to what looked like another suburban house. I knew this wasn't the hospital or the friend's funeral. I was wondering if Alex' family wasn't purposely trying to keep him from going to his friend's funeral.

      Diane again, while waiting for the door to be answered, reminded Alex that it wasn't his fault his friend had died. So, she told him, he should just relax and take his time in getting to the funeral.

      The family all now walked in through what looked like a mix between a fancy restaurant and a living room, lit by natural light coming in through a big window at the back of the room. They all sat down -- probably at a couple different tables.

      The family was waiting for some kind of social engagement, possibly having to do with someone who would give the family money. I knew this had nothing to do with Alex going to see his dead friend at the hospital or funeral.

      Dream #3

      I walked into a school bathroom. The walls were a brown-painted concrete, and the walls were of glossy, pale-tan, wide bricks. The light was a greenish fluorescent. I had to walk through a tiny passage to get to the main area of the bathroom.

      I felt like I was all alone. But then I heard somebody's voice. It sounded like the person was annoyed that I was in the bathroom, so they were trying sigh and breathe out loudly to make me feel bad for being around.

      Out of nowhere some faucet on the wall to my right sprayed me with a bunch of water. It only hit the outside of my right leg. And it was only on for a second. But the force of the water was so strong that my pant leg was soaked.

      I was a little afraid. I didn't know how the water could have turned on and off, all by itself. For some reason, I assumed that only a poltergeist could have done something like that. (???) So I now thought the bathroom was haunted.

      I walked back into the main area of the bathroom. There were toilet stalls on the back wall, to my right, and either urinals or sinks on front wall, to my left.

      I heard the man's voice sighing, like the person was annoyed that I was here. Suddenly one of the bathroom stall doors slammed violently shut. I had been looking toward the urinals or sink. When I looked at the bathroom stall doors, they all looked equally shut.

      The slam of the stall door, though, had been so violent that I was sure the person wasn't just annoyed, but was really angry that I was around. I was pretty sure I was going to get attacked. I thought the person had hid in one of the stalls so that when I went to a stall, I would get surprise-attacked.

      I looked under the doors of the stalls from a distance. But I didn't see any feet. I thought the person may be hiding from view by standing on the toilet seat. But I suddenly felt like there really wasn't anybody here after all.

      I thought I would use the bathroom. But I felt like if I went to the urinal, I would get surprise-attacked while my back was turned. So I just decided to leave the bathroom.

      I walked into a school hallway. I was walking really fast. My pants leg was still wet from the faucet spraying on me. I didn't want to be seen like this. I wanted to get to wherever I was supposed to be, so I could just sit down and hide my leg.

      A black man, who I guessed was a teacher, came walking down the hallway. He was a bit taller than me, skinny, with long dredds covered in a hat and wearing a white t-shirt. As I walked past him in the hallway he seemed to try to indimidate me in some way or another.

      I got toward the end of the hallway. There were a couple of fat, black women, who I also thought of as teachers, gabbing with each other in the hallway. They saw me and seemed to peer at me, as if they were thinking of some way to bother me.

      A really pretty black woman, also a teacher, I thought, in a purple tank-top and tight blue jeans, walked down the hall. She got directly in my way, so I moved all the way to the right, out of her way.

      But she got back in my way. I walked really fast, figuring I'd just have to bump into her if she didn't move. But she got out of the way just in time so that we only brushed against each other.

      I was kind of turned on by how smooth, and slightly muscular, the woman's arm was. But the woman only seemed to be annoyed that I didn't try to get even further out of her way. I had been right up against the wall as it was!

      Dream #4

      I was in a National Park with my family. We were at the visitor's center, which was a complex of one-story buildings and a long, narrow-parking lot surrounded by a Southwestern kind of forest of pine trees. It may have been late afternoon -- the sky was dim and silvery grey-blue.

      My mom's old boyfriend, N, oversaw this park. He was, apparently, going to be busy doing some stuff with my mom and the rest of my family, like showing them around the park. So either he or my mom asked me to take care of something for him.

      My job was to take an urn with the ashes of somebody who had just died to a cemetery in the park. The person who had just died may have been a friend of N. But it may have been N himself. (???)

      So I took either the park-owned pickup truck or N's personal pickup truck and drove it down some wide path in the park to get to the cemetery.

      The pickup truck was really big. But the path was wide enough to accommodate two of these trucks, like a two-lane road. I kept to the right side of the road, as if I were driving on a regular road in the US.

      The path was asphalt, but it also had a coppery, gravel- or cinder-strewn look to it. On either side of the path were dense stands of tall, leafy shrubs.

      A white mother, tall, blonde, and pretty, though with a kind of worn-looking face, was walking back down the path, back toward the visitor's center.

      The mother's little girl, maybe two or three years old, had come toddling up ahead of her. The little girl wore a black dress that didn't go much farther down than her waist, and exposed a big diaper. The girl's blonde hair was done up in a top-knot, or a ponytail on the very crown of her head.

      I had to brake fast to avoid hitting the little girl. But I stopped in time. The little girl ran off to the left side of the road. The mother called to the little girl and seemed grateful that I politely stopped and didn't make a big deal about the little girl running all over the road.

      I drove on a bit more without encountering anybody else. I was proud of myself (???) for not having hit the little girl. But suddenly a gnawing suspicion came into my mind. What if I'd actually hit tons of little girls with the pickup truck so far -- but the truck had been so big, and the girls so little, that I hadn't even noticed?

      I now came on a group of black people, mostly fat women. They were spread all over the road, talking and laughing with each other. I kept to the right side of the road. But now they all veered over into the way of my truck!

      I pulled as far over as I could -- there was now a shoulder of grass to the side of the road, and I was trying not to hit that. But the women seemed to be trying to "spook" me into driving into it, by getting in my way.

      I decided to just stop the truck altogether until the women passed. As I did, I twisted the truck (or else the truck slid as it braked) so that it took up half the road.

      The women saw that I wasn't going anywhere. So they'd either have to walk onto the grassy shoulder or move over to the left side of the road. They all moved out of the way of the truck. I started driving again. But as the women passed me, they all gave me the evil eye.

      I drove on a bit more. I was now kind of worried that those women would sic some men on me to "pay me back" for having made them move.

      I just wanted to get to the cemetery and take care of my job. But I realized that I didn't really know where the cemetery was. I hoped it was close. But I didn't know if it was going to be far down the path, deep into the forest.

      And, I thought, once I got to the cemetery -- if I were even able to spot it -- what would I do there? Would someone be waiting to take the urn from me? What was I supposed to do with the urn?

      I thought I might even have to "bury the body" myself. I imagined myself having to dig a six-foot-deep grave. But then I imagined that there was already a hole dug in the ground for me, and that all I'd have to do was fill it after I'd put the "body" inside.

      I came up to a fenced-off area to my right. I could tell this was the cemetery. I stopped the truck on the side of the road.

      I looked at the cemetery through the pickup truck's window. The area was a well-groomed lawn about the size of a football field. Through the middle of it ran a concrete path, about the size of an average sidewalk. In the center of the cemetery was a huge, concrete column. The lawn was dotted with flat, plaque-like grave-markers, most with colorful bouquets placed on them

      I opened the car door, as if I were getting out to go into the cemetery.

      Dream #5

      I was somewhere -- possibly in bed! -- eating a chicken drumstick. I was eating it in some weird way, like taking swiping bites off of it, so that I'd bite down at the tip of the meaty part and then tear down all the way to the bony tip.

      But in one bite I'd rubbed the greasy joint of the bony tip against the left corner of my mouth. I was disgusted. I could feel that the corner of my mouth and a good section around it were now all gross and greasy.

      I got really panicky and decided I needed to go wash my face off right away. I couldn't seem to get enough motion into my body, though, to do this, and I just got more and more panicked.

      Suddenly I "woke up." I sat up in bed in the dark. I knew the whole "chicken leg" scene had just been a dream. But I still felt really gross, and I still wanted to go wash my face.

      But all I could manage to do was thrash around in bed, going from a sitting position to one where I was half-crawling and half-laying, facing the bed.

      I somehow managed to look at my alarm clock. I saw that it was only 2:37 AM. I told myself I should really be getting back to sleep.

      Dream #6

      A view of my old co-worker, DC, possibly as he stood over me while I sat at a desk.
    4. girl is trouble; diapers; victoria's secret; old man; grandpa and grandmas; canal city; helping rudy

      by , 11-17-2011 at 03:29 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I stood out on some covered concrete area, like between the entrances to two buildings that were a part of the same apartment complex. It was a grey day.

      I stood out with a young girl who IWL lives in my apartment complex. We may have just come out from a set of sliding glass doors. Now the girl stood with her back against a concrete pillar.

      The girl told me she wasn't really allowed to talk to adults anymore. She'd gotten involved with some adult woman who worked as something like an undercover agent for the FBI But the woman had fallen in love with the girl and gotten herself in trouble through distraction.

      I saw in my mind's eye that the FBI woman was Latina, a bit overweight, wearing black jeans and a black and red jacket.

      So now the girl's dad told the girl that she was no longer allowed to talk to adults. But I figured I could probably talk to the girl anyway. I wasn't planning on falling in love with her.

      Dream #2

      I was in a living room with a man, probably my brother-in-law, and two of my nephews, who were both babies. My brother-in-law had one of his kids slung up onto his shoulders, and he was saying something like, "Time for a diaper change!"

      My brother-in-law walked out with that nephew of mine. The other nephew was still there. I now noticed that he was wearing only a diaper, which was really soggy. I thought my nephew looked a little too old to be wearing diapers.

      My nephew jumped off the couch and cried, "Diapers are fun!" He then started crawling around in a skinny space between the coffee table and the TV.

      Dream #3

      I was at Victoria's Secret, for some reason, getting rung up for something. The items may have been lingerie, or they may have been the black slacks and jackets the Victoria's Secret workers wear.

      Dream #4

      I was at the end of some area that looked like a huge tunnel. The tunnel was lit up well and had peach-colored walls. It seemed like the area was used for something like a shopping plaza.

      I was crouched down at the mouth of the tunnel, possibly with my back to some wooden barricades or police tape. Somebody may have come up behind me and annoyed me. I may have told him to get lost. Another person may have asked me for help with something. I may have given him directions.

      Another man now approached me. He was an older, black man. He'd asked me if I'd given the other man advice about how to set up a shop in this area. I said I had. The man seemed to be mad at me. I knew people didn't like it when other people started working here. But the man didn't act too mad.

      The man and I may then have stood near his own shop, which was something like a soup shop, set up in a little, wooden shack.

      I was walking away. But I was now out on some plaza-like area like between buildings on a college campus. The blue moonlight shone down on the plaza.

      The man now came up behind me. He was fatter than he'd been before, and he was wearing a nice, orange shirt and tweed jacket But he was now, apparently, a homeless person with no money. He asked me if I could give him some money. So I gave him some change.

      Suddenly there were a whole bunch of old, fat guys pressing up against me, asking me for change. But I didn't have any more change. In fact, I didn't have any more money! I tried to tell the guys this. But they were all mad at me. They told me they'd get me soon.

      I was now in some weird space like a house with a huge window looking out over a backyard area. But the backyard area, as the dim, grey morning light revealed it, was actually a huge area of rolling, grassy hills, small, brambly, tangled trees, and shallow, muddy ponds. Up to the right was a tall hill that towered over everything else.

      I may have been out earlier in this area. I may have thrown the man over my shoulder and into one of the shallow, muddy ponds. While I had been standing over the pond, I'd heard my old friend R suggest that I just go ahead and kill the man.

      I thought there was no way I could kill another person. I wouldn't like to do it, and I could never get away with it. But R told me that I should murder the man. He even had a place where I could bury the body.

      I was now crouched down before a different hill, but in the same kind of landscape. I heard Camille Paglia and my friend R talking about how all people are at all different stages of mental development.

      Paglia said that people who like a certain poet (or listen to a certain style of music?) are of an "older stage" of mental development, like from Edmund Spenser's time. They aren't as developed, Paglia said, as people with modern minds.

      I now either saw or stood near the top of the hill. There was one large spot, maybe ten meters across, where the ground was extremely soft and slimy under the grass, compared to the rest of the rather firm, muddy soil. I knew this without touching or stepping into the spot.

      Dream #4

      I sat on my knees before a coffee table in a living room. I was all by myself. But suddenly my grandpa and my step-grandma walked in the front door.

      I was surprised to see my grandpa: he'd passed away a few years back. But I figured that my step-grandma had done something to make it so my grandpa could come back for a while.

      I was also surprised by my grandpa's hair, which was tight and curly. He also had thick sideburns, like lamb's wool.

      My step-grandma and grandpa sat down on a couch behind me. I continued to sit facing the coffee table, with my back to the couch. My great grandma may also have come in at some point, sitting in a chair to the left side of the couch.

      My step-grandma told me to remain calm about everything, and just to perceive my grandpa being here, without any questions or worries. Getting too worked up would make my grandpa disappear.

      I turned my head slowly back and tried to look at my grandpa. But now he looked really weird. I thought at the time that he was back to looking like he did before he died of cancer. But he actually looked a lot different. His eyes were huge, almost popping out of his head. And something about his face was almost plasticky.

      I looked away. I thought, If my imagination made my grandpa look like that, then I can imagine him a different way. I'll imagine him when he was young and healthy.

      But I was now in a room with my grandma, my grandpa's first wife. My grandma was talking to me about me and my little cousin A, and how the two of us are so special to her.

      As my grandma spoke to me, she was playing with two or three cylndrical, but rough, pieces of wood, each about 20cm long and 5cm in diameter. My vision was really focused on these pieces of wood.

      One or two of the pieces formed a man's body. The third had a smaller tab at its base, which was supposed to fit into a notch at the mid-point of the man. I thought that my grandma was trying to fit this third piece of wood onto the man as if it were his phallus.

      Dream #6

      It was early morning, with a clear, blue sky. I was drifting in, along a river, in toward a city, on a small, wooden boat. The river was big, but I was calling it a canal. I knew the city I was drifting in toward was something like a canal city, like Venice. But I may have also thought of it as a university town, like Oxford.

      I now drifted up toward the buildings at the edge of the river. The buildings were all massive, beautiful, and made of red brick. The rising sun was just hitting the tops of the buildings, setting them in gold light, against the blue-grey shade.

      I knew that a young man would be by soon to come pick me up. He was going to take me to a library, where I would spend some time studying. But I knew the young man was kind of resentful of me, and that he was reluctant even to come pick me up.

      I passed toward or under some tallish, stone arch. I thought that it was still early in the morning. So maybe before I went to the library I could pick up a cup of coffee. I was sure there would be a Starbucks somewhere. I may have been thinking of this place as like the Financial District in New York!

      I was now with the man in the library. We were in some kind of central spot. The place was massive, with heavy, wood walls. There was a wide balcony formed in a sqaure, looking down to the floors below. There was a staircase just ahead.

      I knew the next level down was a quiet area. I may have heard a thin, grey-haired woman with glasses telling me, as if I were already down there, that there was no activity allowed in that area except for quiet study. It sounded perfect to me.

      Dream #7

      I was walking in the parking lot of a huge shopping center. It was a grey day. I walked past a McDonald's, with the lane for the drive-thru to my left.

      Two white girls and a really short black boy came walking up toward me. The boy purposely got in my way, cornering me against the little curb separating the drive-thru lane from the rest of the parking lot.

      I twisted my body so I wouldn't hit the little boy. I'd had to move fast -- it seemed like the boy was almost lunging at me. I lost my balance and stumbled into the drive-thru lane.

      I looked back at the boy. It seemed like he was pretty amused at himself for what he'd done. People of all ages had done that to me before, and given the same amused look. But I decided this time I wasn't going to let the person get away with it.

      So I walked all the way around the McDonald's building, so I could wind up behind the boy and girls. I snuck up on them and pulled the little boy toward me by the back of his shirt.

      I thought I was really going to tell the boy off! But I said, "Hey, man, any time you need any help, any time you need me to do anything for you, just let me know, okay?"

      Updated 11-17-2011 at 03:36 PM by 37466

      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. giving friend murder weapons; diaper girls in bed

      by , 11-06-2011 at 03:42 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a huge building, either like a mansion or a museum. The building was dim, as if at night, with only a few lights on.

      I had been in a back area, where there was a high, wooden wall, with a tall window up high on the wall. I then walked forward to some narrow area with a slanted, wall-like display stand or case.

      My old friend R was standing in front of this display area. He stood really close to it. He seemed to be trying to avoid looking at me. I somehow knew he'd gotten a reputation for being violent, almost psychotic. He was so tired of dealing with this reputation that he didn't even want to have to look at anybody.

      But he actually was as violent as people accused him of being. And he actually wanted to act violently toward me, because he felt I'd somehow insulted him.

      I faced R. But now he was in a room even closer to the front of the building. He was in a little niche in a wall to my right. He may even have been wrapped in bandages, like a mummy.

      I wanted to prove that there was no reason to be afraid of R and that I wasn't afraid of him. So I handed R a whole bunch of items that looked like huge items of silverware: like huge forks and knives. There were also some huge tongs that looked like forks. Everything was sharp, and I knew it could all be used as a weapon to kill me.

      I was now going to leave the house. The idea was, I knew, that if R had weapons and I left the house, that R would kill me. But I was going to prove people wrong. Nevertheless, I was still afraid to leave through the front door.

      I ran all the way to the back of the building. There was a window I'd easily be able to climb up to and crawl out of. But as I started crawling out the window, I felt like R might be right there, waiting to throw the weapons I'd given him at my chest.

      So I climbed back down. To my right, as I faced the wall, there was a dim kitchen, just like a kitchen in any nice suburban house. Just above the sink was another window. I thought that since R thought I was going to come out the back window, I'd be safe going out the kitchen window instead.

      But as I was climbing out the window, I could feel R's presence again. I knew that this time he probably would manage to catch me, throwing the sharp weapons I'd given him at my chest and piercing my heart.

      Dream #2

      I was looking at a magazine, maybe a porn magazine. The pages were nothing but photos, maybe six photos per page, in the same kind of style as a porn magazine.

      The photos showed two girls in bed. They were about nine or ten years old. They were wearing pajama pants and pajama shirts. Apparently, under their pajama pants the girls were wearing diapers.

      The girls got into a kind of sixty-nine position with each other. The girl on top of the other girl rubbed her face against the bottom girl until her pants had been worked off. She somehow managed to remove the girl's diaper in the same way.
    6. TV train trip; mom checks heartbeat

      by , 11-05-2011 at 02:35 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a basement living room with some of my family members. The basement was kind of small, but it was brightly and warmly lit. My mom sat on the left side of the couch. One or more people may have been sitting next to her.

      I had a small space to sit in near the right side of the couch. As soon as I sat down, my second oldest nephew and my brother tried to sit down next to me. They were playfully arguing over who could sit next to me. My nephew may have been bigger than my brother!

      Eventually I decided that my brother (?) could sit on my lap, and that my nephew could sit next to me. It felt good and warm to have everybody all crowded around me.

      We had to watch some TV program that would inform us on some mission we were all supposed to be going on. An old, kind of fat, rich man was going to give us the details. The details, I knew, would involve something called "time parachuting." The man would just appear on the TV at the appointed time and give us the details.

      The TV may have been a TV at first. But now it was a low window, set into the wall under a thick, dark, wooden shelf. The view outside seemed, at first, to be of the deep blue water of an aquarium.

      My second oldest nephew and I may have gone close up to the window. It was now like we were on a subway train at night. The train was running above ground. It had just gone past the edge of town, apparently. We were riding through an area full of rails, all criss-crossing with each other.

      But now all the rails were under at least a meter of water. A deep blue light lit the water and the rails. In some places, it may have looked like the rails themselves glowed with deep blue. This brake-yard (?) seemed to extend for quite a way, all under water, with this eerie glow. My nephew and I seemed to be pretty amazed by it all.

      Dream #2

      I sat on a couch in a living room with my mom. It was daytime, and daylight came in through a window, which was probably behind the couch.

      My mom lay on the couch, to my left. But she was taking up so much of the couch that her rear end was smashing up against me. I was reading something on my phone.

      I was kind of annoyed by being smashed the way I was. But I decided not to move. I thought (a weird thought --) that my mom must be smashing up against me because she wanted to remember what it was like to give birth to me. I figured I should let her remember. I'd been so emotionally cold lately, maybe she'd forgotten what it was like to be my mom.

      My mom was now sitting up. She told me I looked weak. She grabbed my left arm and put her first two fingers on the vein on the inside of my elbow, to feel my heartbeat.

      Apparently she didn't like something about my heartbeat. She stood me up. We walked across the living room, into the kitchen. My mom stopped me right at the threshold of the kitchen. She said, "I'm going to grab the stethoscope and check your heartbeat, if you don't mind."

      I said I didn't mind. I put my book (? -- instead of my phone?) down on top of the fridge. I could see the top of the fridge really easily. I sat the book down on top of a pink diaper that sat on the fridge.

      My mom walked toward a doorway on the right wall of the kitchen, just past the fridge. This doorway led to a small hallway that led to a couple of bedrooms. My mom was getting a stethoscope from one of those rooms. In my mind's eye I saw my mom putting the stethoscope to my arm.
    7. shaw's last lecture; porn boyfriend break-in; cousin memories; museum membership

      by , 10-26-2011 at 02:26 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was out on a stage, just a little bit to the right (my right) of the stage. Back and to my left, the playwright George Bernard Shaw lay in a hospital bed. He was really sick, but he was giving a lecture. I was here either to introduce him or kind of interview him. His voice was really faint and weak.

      Now I was leaving the theatre through some backstage area and a backstage door. I was walking through some kind of brick-walled alley. It was daytime.

      Suddenly I realized or heard that Shaw was about to die. He knew he was going to die. He had announced that his next lecture would be his last. But that lecture would be today. In fact, it was starting right now! And I had left the theatre!

      I had to see Shaw's last lecture. He was my favorite playwright. And I had the feeling Shaw would die immediately or soon after he got off stage. So I had to be there.

      I ran back in the door, through the backstage area, and through a small door that led directly onto the stage. The show had just started. A woman had introduced Shaw. Shaw now sat in a nice chair on a green rug. A nice table with a lamp may have stood near the chair. Shaw had just started giving a little speech.

      I at first wanted to sit near Shaw on the stage. But since I came in late I didn't feel I deserved to. So I sat off to the right of the stage. In the shadows were some bleachers, which were pretty well filled with people. I sat on the floor on the bleachers, where I thought I would be in view of Shaw, so he'd at least know I'd attended.

      The woman asked Shaw some question about religion. Shaw responded a little ramblingly. He then said, "And, yes, I've been in a coven. I've headed a coven."

      A little, black boy in a black hooded sweatshirt with thin, widely-spaced, white stripes and sitting in a wooden chair a couple meters to the right of and behind the woman raised his hand.

      Shaw pointed to the boy, as if to take his question. He said, "Yes, you. And what's your name, little boy?"

      The boy stood up. His face couldn't be seen. He may have been turned around, or he may have had his hoodie on backwards, with the hood pulled up over his face. He said, "Some people call me Lazarus. But you can think of me as Nicodemus."

      The boy may have started knocking himself on the top of his head with his right fist.

      Dream #2

      I was in some room like a school cafeteria. The floors and walls were all white, and there may have been a set of white folding chairs all arranged in a grid, like for a meeting.

      But whatever had been going on here was finished, and everybody was leaving. Apparently we'd had a meeting regarding the production of some movie. It wasn't certain the movie was going to be made. But people were feeling a lot more confident that it would.

      The leaders of the effort all stood up front, near some long folding tables. There were a few long, plastic coolers. The leaders were kind of clowning around with each other while they packed up their supplies for the day. The leaders all looked South Asian. One of the leaders looked like the Malaysian singer MonoLoQue.

      The leaders may actually have been making up some wacky, funny song based on the song they thought would be the theme song for the movie. I tried to join in, but I don't think I was very funny. The leaders were patient with me. But I got the feeling they thought I was being too much of a groupie. So I decided to leave.

      I walked down a stairwell in the center of the floor. But as I got halfway down I realized I'd forgotten something upstairs. I ran back up to get it. But I didn't really know what I was doing upstairs and I didn't want the leaders to see me again. So I went back down the stairwell.

      About halfway down the stairwell, I realized I had to go back to my apartment before I went anywhere. But my apartment was right near the stairwell. In fact, just in front of the stairwell, right where I stood, was a window to my room. (Off to my left may have been some area like a department store.)

      So I swung myself up and bashed through a wooden panel blocking the window to my bedroom. Right before I'd done this I'd seen a tallish, kind of overweight, white man in a red t-shirt and blue jeans walking along some balcony between flights of steps behind me, as if I were now in some kind of apartment building's stairwell.

      I broke through my window and rolled onto my bed, then onto the floor. The window seemed to have been open. But I noticed that I'd broken the board, a white-painted board about 33cm high and 1 meter wide, in half.

      As I landed on the floor, I heard a woman in the living room go get the door. Oh, I thought to myself, that woman must be my new roommate.

      The woman opened the door to the man I'd seen in the stairwell. (I don't know how I knew this, since I didn't see it.) As soon as the woman let the man into the apartment, she yelled, "No! I'm not doing it! I told you I didn't want to be a part of it anymore and I didn't want to see you anymore!"

      I thought I should go out into the living room and defend my new roommate. But I was afraid. So I just sat and listened.

      The man had apparently been trying to get the woman to be in a movie for a production house he'd just started up. But already the production house was having trouble with censors. The man said, "And this is a movie that, just because you got a few people saying certain cuss words, people wanna make it rated X!"

      But the woman had left the man just because he had kept putting her in porn movies. She was yelling at him that she could tell he was getting started going down the same old path, and that she didn't want to be a part of it again. She seemed either to be walking the man to the door or heading out with him.

      I sat on my bed and looked at the broken board in my hands. It sounded quiet. Maybe the man was gone, I thought, and I could go introduce myself to the woman. But I was wondering what kind of first impression I'd make with her, suddenly having appeared in my bedroom, and having broken the board on my window. The woman might think I was crazy!

      Dream #3

      I was sitting in a car with a woman who looked exactly like my mom but was something more like an interviewer or psychiatrist. I sat on the passenger side, and the woman sat on the driver's side. It was daytime. We were parked at the far end of a long driveway in front of a house.

      I told the woman, "About the time that my cousin and I were trying to figure out what to do for college --"

      The woman interrupted me. "What do you mean? I thought that before, you'd said that your cousin didn't start college until a couple years after you did. How could he be going to college at the same time as you? It doesn't make sense!"

      I said, "That's not what I mean. What I said just now was --"

      Suddenly something happened, and I knew I had to leave the car and get going somewhere else. My car door had been open all this time. I stood up and walked off to my right. I walked along a stretch of dirt on the shoulder of a road.

      As I approached a fence, an adult woman came walking toward, then past me with a bunch of little girls. It was like a school group. Most of the girls were five years old or younger. They were all wearing diapers: some only diapers, some diapers with dresses over them. I was sexually attracted to these little girls.

      But there was one little girl, an Asian girl who seemed to be maybe seven or eight years old. She had jaw-length, black hair and was wearing a white dress with thin fabric. It appeared that this girl was also wearing a diaper, though I couldn't tell for sure. I was extremely attracted to this girl.

      I passed the fence, and one more adult woman walked along past me, following one last little girl wearing only a diaper. But for some reason, I found myself so sexually attracted to the little Asian girl that I felt like I had to follow her, at least to find out if she really was wearing diapers.

      I turned around and headed for the little girls, none of whom I could see now. I knew if I caught up with them and started trying to get close to the little Asian girl I'd certainly be singled out as a pervert. So I was trying to think up excuses for heading back and being near the girls.

      I thought that the little girls must have been going to the car to see the woman. Now I was in the car with the woman. She started up the car as I started talking to her. We pulled out of the driveway and drove away.

      I told the woman, "You see, my cousin and I were in the same year of school. And we were best friends. So when we got into our Junior year, we both started thinking together about what colleges we'd go to."

      The woman had turned right around a corner and was now driving through an alley going past the backyards of houses.

      I continued. "But my cousin ended up getting sidetracked. So he didn't go to school right away. He had a terrible childhood! I'd go over there all the time to see him."

      The woman now turned right and pulled into the driveway in the backyard of some house like my great grandma's old house.

      I continued, "My cousin would be grounded for, like, six months at a time! And he'd just have to sit in his bedroom in the basement for the whole time. Sometimes he'd even have to write thousands of sentences."

      I had to leave again. I opened the car door. There were some little girls walking around in diapers in the driveway. I was kind of attracted to them.

      As I stood up and turned right, to walk away past the back of the car, I saw that my sister was leaning against the car, almost right in the doorway! She said, "Hey," in a kind of guyish voice.

      I hoped my sister hadn't seen me ogling the little girls. But I looked at my sister. She was skinny, in shape, and she wore a blue-sleeved, white t-shirt that really showed off her boobs. I suddenly realized my sister was really attractive!

      Dream #4

      I walked into a museum with my mom. The lobby was dim and narrow. The ticket counter was some kind of polished, black stone.

      We walked up to the ticket person. I was a member at the museum, and the ticket person knew me. But he might not have seen me. My mom handed the man my membership card and said something like, "He's a member."

      The man said, "Great," and was about to print a ticket for my mom.

      But my mom said, "I'd like three people, and also two children, please."

      The man seemed a bit taken aback by my mom asking for so many tickets. I was taken aback, too! I thought I was coming to the museum with just my mom. Who were all these other people coming with us?

      I said something to the man. He finally noticed me. He said, "Oh! But you're a member *here*. Why are you trying to get in with this card? This is a MoMA card."

      I saw the card in the man's hand and realized he was right. Hoping to avoid him getting suspicious of me -- like he might have thought I was trying to hide the fact that I'd let my membership expire -- I flipped quickly through my wallet, trying to find the right membership card.
    8. contact lenses and bike; mugged in an aqueduct; girlfriend in diaper

      by , 10-22-2011 at 03:52 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in an eye doctor's office, probably with my mom. The office kind of looked like a house. We were in a front room, and I was right on the threshold to a back room.

      The eye doctor, an older, kind of pretty woman wearing a white labcoat and eyeglasses, was telling me about contact lenses. I told the woman that I've always been afraid of contacts. My body is always so sensitive to contact with stuff that I've always thought that if I wore contacts, my eyes would get all infected.

      The eye doctor told me these contacts were new. They were disposable. So sensitive skin was far less likely to be infected by them.

      I looked down at a paper on the counter. The paper advertised the contact lenses. The paper actually reminded me of the Heimlich maneuver posters seen in restaurants. I wasn't very assured by it.

      I was now riding down the street on a bike. I was heading back home. It was a really sunny, clear day, and I was riding on an open road, with open fields on either side of me. It was really easy for me to bike -- I was just coating along, but going really fast.

      Eventually I came to more populated parts of town. I was riding alongside some cars. I stopped with the cars at an intersection stoplight. I thought I must almost be home by now. I was surprised. I was almost home. I had never taken this way home before. But it was really quick. I'd have to take it from now on.

      At the intersection, a maroon-colored van with "my family" in it pulled up to my right. A dad, kind of fat, with shaggy, curly, dark hair and a bit of shadow of stubble was driving. Somehow I was now "inside" the van -- even though I was still outside, on my bike. But now that I was "inside" the van, the van would control where I went.

      I was disappointed. I really didn't like this father and I really didn't want to be in the van with him. Besides, I'd been going my own way and doing well. Why did I suddenly need this father to control where I was going?

      Dream #2

      I was out walking along the street in something like a residential neighborhood. It was a clear, sunny day. I was walking on the right side of the street. To my right was probably an open field. The street, on my left, was pretty wide.

      There were blocks of houses on the other side of the street. The block forked off a bit farther up, so that one of the streets wound off and drifted off to the left, while another of the streets went kind of straight and up a slope.

      There were two people walking along the street parallel with me. There were another two people walking down the slope, coming in the opposite direction from me. I needed to cross the street.

      I began to cross the street. But when I saw the two people walking parallel with me, I thought they looked a little weird. I was about to cross back over to the right side. But I just decided I'd cross all the way over to the left side, figuring I didn't want the two people to think I was afraid of them.

      The two people were a man and a woman. The man was tall, pale white, slightly muscly, with a mustache and pale, blue eyes. He may have been wearing a pale, yellow hoodie. The woman was shorter than me, pale, with brownish hair. She wore a black, leather jacket, a white shirt, and blue jeans.

      The guy, as I passed him, said, "Hey! Hey, you!" as if he needed my help with something. I looked over at him. But then he looked up ahead and saw the other two guys approaching. He told me, "Oh, nevermind."

      I kept walking, and the two guys passed me. They were both probably black. One wore a brown hoodie and brown pants. The hoodie may have had some orange lettering on it.

      The sloped street was now something like an aqueduct -- a little concrete channel like an empty, man-made river -- instead of a street. Some of its sides may have been grafitti'd. It was already walking up it.

      I could hear the man and the woman hurrying up at me now. I thought I should turn around and go a different way, so I wouldn't be walking up the aqueduct with these two people following me. But I didn't.

      Right as I got into the part of the aqueduct that sloped up and a bit to the left, the man pushed me down to the ground. He had me pressed with my back to the ground. I don't know if he was kneeling on me, but he wasn't bent down very much. He wasn't holding me down very hard, but I didn't struggle, becaused I couldn't tell if he had a weapon.

      The woman darted her hand into my right pocket and pulled out my wallet. She stood back up. She began going through my wallet, saying, "I got your wallet from you faster than an illegal immigrant going through customs."

      I didn't know why the woman would make her remark. I figured she was trying to insult me, as if I were somehow an illegal immigrant.

      I really didn't want the woman to go through my wallet. I didn't have much money as it was, and if she managed to screw around with my cards, I wouldn't have anything.

      The guy wasn't holding me down that hard at all. So I figured I'd struggle to break free. Then I'd head at the woman. If I had to fight the man after I broke free of him, that would be fine.

      Dream #3

      I was walking out onto a beach from some kind of residential neighborhood. A lot of people were out on the beach, all looking out at the ocean, as if some kind of special event were going on. But the beach wasn't really crowded, and everybody was pretty evenly spaced.

      Near the back of the crowd was a woman on a bike. She half-stood and half-sat on her bike, with probably only her right foot touching the sand. She wore a red and white helmet and a blue one-piece shorts and blouse outfit, the leggings of which looked a little too short.

      The woman was attractive, and I was looking at her bottom. But I noticed her bottom had a weird kind of puffed out shape to it instead of a panty line, like she was wearing a diaper. So I walked up to her and touched her bottom. She was wearing a diaper.

      For some reason this really turned me on. So I whispered in the woman's ear, "I could tell you're wearing a diaper. I love girls who wear diapers. And I love wearing diapers, too. Take me home, and we can wear diapers together."

      The girl got turned on by me, and we went back to her house. The girl had two or three female roommates. Time seemed to pass, at least a night, but maybe a few days.

      The roommates were all talking to somebody, another girl, they'd brought to the house. They said, "Yeah, it was just really lucky for her. He just walked up to her and said he liked girls like her. And they've been together ever since."

      The woman and I now had to go out somewhere. We were probably going to be gone for a couple days. We were getting ready to go. We were about to head out, when I told the girl, "Wait. Shouldn't we bring diapers?"

      The woman was now lying on the bed. I threw a diaper onto her stomach. I may also have set a whole pack of Pampers diapers on some counter somewhere.
    9. obama and rubia; high-performance request; accounting and racing; grandma's food; lesbian library

      by , 09-21-2011 at 01:26 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in some kind of auditorium, which also felt like a huge, modern church sanctuary. I sat up in a balcony. The balcony curved all the way around the sanctuary, which had an odd shape, like an octagon. Farther to my left there was another balcony over this balcony. The church was well-lit, almost like the inside of a big-box club store like Sam's Club. The place was packed. We were all here watching President Obama give a speech.

      President Obama wasn't at the front of the church, on the stage. Instead, he stood on a small podium in the middle of the crowd. But then he was standing on some little platform hooked to the balcony, so that he wad just a bit lower than eye-level with the top of the balcony's barrier.

      Obama gave his speech, which was about all the good things he was doing. One of the things had to do with fostering positive relationships between the US and the Middle East. One of the proofs he gave of this was some partnership being formed between Chile and a supposed Middle Eastern country called Rubia.

      Now Obama was taking questions from the audience. I raised my hand to ask a question. But a woman off to my left got to ask her question. After she asked her question, Obama may have said, "Okay. Now who has another question?"

      The woman had a mic, so I not only raised my hand, but stood up and walked over to the woman so I could get the mic from her. A lot of other people raised their hands to ask questions. I thought for sure one of them would get to ask, rather than me. But my old boss, DR, was sitting off to the girl's left. He said, "Let ----- ask his question first."

      So I got the mic. I was walking back to my seat with the mic. In the meantime, Obama was probably answering the first question. His response had something to do with taxes. But then he also mentioned interest. A white man with blonde hair, a blonde mustache, blue eyes, and a trucker cap, asked me, "How does the government make money doing the kind of stuff Obama's talking about?"

      I said, "Well, the government makes money through revenue, which is what they call taxes. And then they also make money through charging on debt ..."

      The man and I together said, "... which is interest!"

      The man now seemed to understand pretty well.

      It was now my turn to ask a question. Obama was now up on the balcony, on some maroon-colored steps between two aisles. I was also standing on the steps, a few steps up from Obama. I asked my question. At first the mic was really quiet.

      I asked Obama, "You say you're doing a lot of stuff to make relationships positive in the Middle East. But beyond the example you gave with Chile, which is a country in South America, not the US, and Rubia, which I've never heard of before--"

      A young, pretty, blonde man wearing a black windbreaker came up to me as if to take the mic away. I flinched away from him. But he made a poking motion at the mic with a thin, pen-like instrument. I saw a little orange light on the mic. I understood that the man just wanted to turn the volume up on the mic. So I let him do so.

      With the volume up, I asked Obama, "So there are a lot of countries I can think of in the Middle East and North Africa. Out of all these countries, when you talk about good relationships with the US --"

      The crowd began clapping and cheering loudly.

      "-- Where is this?"

      Obama seemed like he was about to answer my question. I handed the mic to someone else so they could ask their question. As I did, I thought I'd tell Obama that I was also concerned with Sub-Saharan Africa, although nobody else seemed to care too much.

      Dream #2

      I was in a car at night, pulling into a parking space before a building. A woman came out and greeted me. She said my hotel was ready. I got out of my car and went up to the hotel room with her. The hotel room was kind of small. It felt like it was a few floors up and inside the building. It felt kind of stuffy.

      At some point, perhaps in an elevator, I was -- somehow -- putting myself into a baby's diaper (???). It fit really terribly. I -- somehow -- saw it wedging up into my rear end and sliding halfway off one of my legs. I'm not sure how I did or saw all this, as I was still fully clothed.

      I was laying back on the bed, with my arms behind my head, looking up at the ceiling. The woman told me, "Well, then, I'll give you a call and let you know what I can do about your request."

      I was kind of surprised by the woman's statement. I didn't remember asking her anything. But I figured I could have been experiencing missing time. So I asked the woman (as if I thought this was a clever way to hide the fact I didn't know what she was talking about), "Sometimes I have trouble remembering the things I just said. Could you tell me what I asked you?"

      The woman, standing in the doorway, said, "Sure. You said you were a little disappointed with this room. You had made a reservation for something different. So you asked me if I could find you a more 'high-performance' room."

      I remembered having made a reservation for something bigger. In fact, in my mind's eye, I had the view of something more like a small townhouse. And here I was in this dinky, little hotel room. So I guess I was disappointed.

      I told the woman, "Thanks. That sounds right. Just give me a call when you figure out where I can be moved."

      The woman left the room. I stood up. I walked out of the bedroom and into a second room (???). This room was like another bedroom. But it was totally dark. I walked through the room and into a bathroom. I turned on the lights.

      I looked at myself in the mirror. I was naked except for a pair of panties over a pair of diapers (???). I took off the panties. The diapers had a yellow and blue color scheme. There was something like a Mickey Mouse pattern on them. They seemed a bit loose and baggy on me.

      I thought I should probably go to the bathroom in my diaper and change it before the woman called me. But I also thought that I'd wait until the woman came back before I changed back into my clothes, so I could see how she'd react to me in just a diaper.

      So I walked back to my bedroom. I was kind of surprised. I thought the woman would have called me by now to let me know if I could get moved into a "high-performance" hotel room. I thought it would have been pretty immediate. I was wondering if she had gone to look at all.

      Now I thought maybe there were secret cameras in my room. Maybe the woman was watching me walk around like this. Maybe she thought she would wait until I was fully dressed before she got in contact with me.

      But I also thought that maybe there was something wrong with my credit card. Maybe there wasn't enough money on my card to charge a different room for all the nights I wanted to stay. I thought that was possible.

      Dream #3

      I was in a living room, laying on the couch. I was possibly getting ready to play a video game. My mom came in and asked me, "So did you finish that accounting stuff?"

      I knew what my mom was talking about. In another room there was a computer system that looked a lot like a video game system. The screen had a bunch of red numbers on it. I had to do accounting with all these numbers. It was a real pain in the neck. But I knew I hadn't done it, and that I should just do it.

      I sighed in annoyance and stood up. My mom, a little taken aback at my annoyance said, "Well, you don't have to do it right now, if you'd rather relax."

      I said, "Nah... f**k it," and shrugge my shoulders.

      I went into the room and set up the system. Apparently I controlled the accounting system by using Super Nintendo joysticks.

      The scene kind of faded into me standing at the right end of a huge flat-screen TV. The TV had a really glossy surface. The screen must have been a few meters tall. My mom, sister, and maybe a couple other family members stood in front of the screen.

      I watched the screen from my side view. At first it scrolled through all the red numbers that were part of the accounting system. Then it shifted to some kind of video game, like a racing game.

      My family started talking about the game, how fun it was to play. Suddenly I was standing in front of the video game, playing it. It was like a racing game. It was set in the mountains, and you raced things like mini-hovercrafts. It was kind of like F-Zero for Super Nintendo, except all the figures were really small. The graphics were sometimes more like 8-bit graphics.

      Now I was suddenly in the game, on the hovercraft, racing around as Claus Valca, my avatar for the DV website. The view was now like reality, not like video games. I remembered some words of wisdom a really beautiful and busty woman in a maroon-and-black, Victorian-style dress had given me about safety.

      I came around a curve in the road. I was driving the wrong way. A bunch of Indy cars came driving around the curve. But they were all invisible. I could only see very faint phantoms of them as they got very close to me. A few of them actually hit me. It didn't hurt me very much. But I knew if too many hit me, my vehicle would be damaged. So I pulled off to the side of the road to let all the invisible Indy cars pass.

      Off to the left of the shoulder of the road was a small cliff that led down to a wide, green valley. I drove along the shoulder of the road for a bit, then, possibly accidentally, drifted off the cliff.

      I descended quickly toward the valley. I found the valley really beautiful, and I really wanted to see it, although I was pretty sure I'd die if I hit the ground at this speed. I even commented to my family on the beauty of the scene, as if I were still standing somewhere with them, playing the video game.

      Then, suddenly, a huge cushion of air propelled me up from the valley. The valley sunk below me, and the air rushed all around me. I felt very elated. I even shouted out with happiness. The view was incredible from this height. I may even have wondered whether I was having an out-of-body experience.

      Dream #4

      I walked into the living room of "my family's house." The room was really big, and only one side of it was lit. The room seemed to be divided in half by a blue couch. There didn't seem to be much stuff at all on the dark side of the room, in front of the couch. Directly behind the couch there was a table, or maybe an air hockey table, covered and cluttered with all kinds of stuff, a total mess.

      My mom sat on the couch, kind of sideways, her left arm resting against the top of the back end of the couch. My brother and sister may have been somewhere as well. It was like I was here, visiting for the holidays. My mom's mom came to visit and drop off some food for me for Christmas.

      I was curious as to how this would all turn out. As far as I knew, my mom and grandma were no longer talking with each other. But my grandmother was here, right in front of the couch, as if she were talking with my mom, as I came into the living room. Now that I was here, my grandma could leave. She said something to my mom then headed for the door, which was behind the couch.

      My mom didn't seem to be answering my grandma at all. I was a little upset at my mom for not talking to my grandma. But I needed to catch my grandma before she left the house. I headed for the door.

      As I reached the door -- my grandma already stood half in and half out -- I looked at the table. Amid all the mess were two containers of food. One was a clear, cylindrical container of some kind of green food, like a casserole made out of spinach. The other container had some kind of fruit stuff in it. Both containers, even though they'd only been on the table a few moments, were all messy and gross.

      My mom finally spoke to my grandma. She said something completely irrelevant to what my grandma had said. She said something kind of weird that was supposed to prove she was taking care of something very business-like with my oldest nephew or all my nephews.

      My grandma didn't respond to my mom. My grandma was wearing a blue, cotton dress with tiny, white, paisley designs on it. The collar may have been a bit elastic, slightly bunchy. The sleeves may have been the same. My grandma also wore eyeglasses that looked extremely clean, but also very, very thick. My grandma alos looked a bit younger than IWL.

      My grandma said, "Well, -----, Merry Christmas. I'm glad I got to see you. And I love you." And now she was leaving. I felt terrible that I only got to see my grandma for this very short amount of time. And I really didn't even get to speak to her!

      Dream #5

      I was walking in front of "the New York Public Library," even though the building looked more like the Metropolitan Museum of Art, out on a wide, cobblestone walkway, like where Trinity Church and the Public Library are in Boston. There were a lot of makeshift stands outside, selling all kinds of art and souvenirs.

      There were a lot of women heading toward the library. I heard a couple women talking behind me. One of them said, "Yeah, I'm only coming to the library because they're having that speech for lesbian empowerment."

      I wondered about the event the woman was talking about. I was hoping it wouldn't be too big. It could make getting around in the library a huge chore, with all kinds of crowds of people in there.

      Updated 09-22-2011 at 12:03 AM by 37466 (spelling)

      Categories
      non-lucid
    10. the quest for black jeans; future baby's droopy diapers

      by , 08-27-2011 at 01:55 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was probably at "my family's house." My brother and mother were around. I don't know about other people. My brother was having me act out something, and he was possibly also video taping it. It may have been a movie or a music video.

      We were in a number of different bedrooms. My view was always kind of tight and low, as if I were the height of a child, with not much attentiveness to my environment. The rooms always seemed kind of small and barren, with white walls and slightly harsh incandescent light.

      In a couple of instances, my brother seemed to tower above me. But our relationship was still of me as the big brother to him as the little brother. He seemed to want to impress me with whatever his video project was. I seemed to think the project was cool, and I was happy to be a part of it.

      At some point my brother needed me to act like a "cool person." So I needed to wear black jeans. (WTF?) I may also have needed to wear a belt with square steel studs on it. My brother and I went searching through closets for the perfect black jeans. My mother was in one of the rooms where my brother and I were going through the closet.

      At another point, we were outside the house. It was night. We may have been far from the house, possibly even in a parking lot. My brother knelt (below me now) at something like a toy chest full of jeans. There seemed to be plenty of black jeans. But none of them were right for some reason.

      At another point we were in the house again, looking through a closet full of blue jeans. (I'm pretty sure that at this point my brother was much taller than I again, like I was a little kid.) My brother thought that, if all else failed, we could at least use the blue jeans. But they were all too big for me. So they were no good, too.

      By this point I may have been walking around in no pants, just walking around in my underwear from place to place, looking for black jeans.

      Dream #2

      I was outside on a pleasant, sunny day. My view fluctuated from the left to the front. I seemed to be in the wilderness, in some open area with bare soil. It may have been on a piece of land for a cabin, or something like that. In both of my views I saw piles of stuff, like piles of discarded household items and furnishings.

      I also, somehow, seemed to be reading a message from another website I participate on. My friend, MY, was telling another person, or a group of people, that she didn't judge some boy on the site for something or other.

      MY then said, "----- (a man) and ----- (a woman) and I are going to have a baby. I'm pregnant with the baby. And when he walks around the yard, and his pants and diaper drop off, and I see his little bottom, I don't judge him. I think it's cute."

      As I looked in front of me, there seemed to be a beam, like an upright beam of wood for the frame of a house. There also may have been other rubble, mostly wood, around the beam. Just beyond the beam there may have been a pile of household goods of some kind or another.
    11. wrong trains and father; boy, girl, and power plant; lingerie shop and poem

      by , 08-22-2011 at 01:48 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was at a train station at night. I might have been with one other person. Otherwise, the place was empty. The station was like a short, long, covered platform with fluorescent lights, with another platform, which was uncovered and completely dark. It kind of felt like I was in the middle of nowhere.

      One train came on the tracks at the covered platform. I noticed either that it was the wrong train or that it was going in the wrong direction. It was like these trains were running on subway lines, even though I wasn't familiar with these lines.

      There might have been two different lines at this station. Both the lines had "Queens" as one of their final destinations. One of the lines had a town that sounded like "Cambridgeshire" (???) as the second of its final destinations.

      I was looking for a train heading away from Queens. Another train was arriving, this time at the uncovered tracks. I was pretty sure it was heading away from Queens, so I thought it might be the right train. I walked over to the train.

      The train was very tall, with the actual car maybe one and a half meters off the ground. The inside of the train was totally dark. The train was about to pull away. I got the impression that this was the wrong train. To double check, right before the train pulled away, I jumped up twice into the air, flashing a "sign" (basically, my hands were both lifted up and spread out, as if I were trying to give someone two high-fives) into the train.

      I knew now that this was the wrong train. The train may have started to pull away. I realized some person in control of some kind of rail operations had seen me flash the signs into the train. I wondered if he would think I was trying to cause some trouble, or that I had thrown something dangerous onto the train.

      I walked away from the platform. I may have been hoping to find my friend and stick to him, so that nobody would think I was dangerous.

      I was now with my brother and sister in a kitchen. The kitchen was probably really dim, which may have made it feel really small and crowded. We were gathered around a smallish, round, fake-wood table. One or two of us may have been standing. The other/s was/were standing.

      One of us, possibly my sister, may have mentioned something bad about the way my dad had been treating us. Later, somehow, I saw my dad. He was talking to me or to everybody. But he couldn't remember my name. It was simply like he hadn't had anything to do with me for so long that he couldn't remember my name. He may have apologized for this fact. I may have told him it was okay.

      Later, my dad was changing diapers. He may have been changing my diapers, although I seemed to be at least partly separated from the person changed, and the person being changed probably did seem like a small baby. The diaper was a small diaper, for a really litttle baby. It was full of urine, and it smelled horrible.

      My dad may have been balling up this diaper. He may now actually have been complaining, as if his inability to remember my name were an actual shortcoming of my own.

      Dream #2

      I was out on a sunny balcony. The floor was probably concrete. The barrier and the apartment wall may have been bright white. I may have been sitting at something like a school desk, looking out and across to another huge building.

      There was a black man behind me. He was a schoolteacher. Apparently I had been studying the subject he taught, all on my own. He was very impressed by the amount of independent interest I'd shown in his subject. He gave me some words of encouragement, then said he was going to teach his class now.

      There was apparently a window to my left. I heard it open. I knew that the teacher's classroom was actually the room with the window. I looked in through the screen as the teacher began his lesson. He had erased something off a chalkboard and then written a long, kind of complex equation on the board. Somehow he made it very easy to understand, very simple.

      I realized the teacher had been giving the lecture for me. So I decided to at least go in and listen, to show him I was thankful that he'd thought of me. I walked into the building.
      Before the classroom there was a small alcove. I had left "my backpack" in this alcove. My textbook (as if I were actually in the teacher's class now) was in my backpack. As I went to get it, I passed the doorway into the classroom. I saw that everybody in the classroom was sitting in very small chairs, possibly with no desks.

      The teacher began to criticize everybody for some kind of sloppy aspect of their work. It may have had something to do with not bringing either their work or their textbooks to class. I felt like this criticism was largely directed at me. But I felt like at least today I couldn't be criticized for not bringing my book to class.

      I opened my backpack and pulled my book out. It was jammed into my backpack, amid a whole bunch of loose papers, possibly with equations all over them.

      I was now out on a street in the suburbs. I was trying to get somewhere on time. I had probably left class at an awkward time specifically so I could get to this other place on time. I was walking along a street which may have felt like it was along some kind of ridge, looking down to an expanse of blocks of houses. The sky was dim, smoky grey, almost dirty-coppery.

      I felt drops of rain. I thought I should head back home (?) to get either a raincoat or an umbrella. I actually turned back and walked a few steps "toward home." But I decided that since I was wearing a red, waterproof jacket, I didn't need either a raincoat or umbrella. I turned back in the direction of my destination.

      I now felt a lot of rain. I turned back again, thinking I really should go back home for something. But I turned right back around, toward my destination. I figured if I hurried I could make it without getting extremely wet.

      At the same time I heard a group of young boys, maybe ten or so years old, rough-housing with each other. One of the boys, a kind of shaggy-haired, blonde boy with gold-tan skin and wearing a baggy, green, plaid, flannel shirt and baggy jeans, recognized me. He shouted out to me in his rough-housing voice.

      I kept walking, as if I didn't hear the boy. I knew I had promised before that I would play with him. But I couldn't do it now. I had to get to my destination. If the boy were to think I'd heard him, he'd follow me. And I didn't want him to follow me, either. I thought he'd get bored. I walked faster away.

      But the boy kept following me. He called after me. I was walking fast, almost running, along a grass ridge looking down to the blocks of houses in the valley. Finally I said to the boy, "Fine. You can come along -- if you can follow me!"

      I started running down a street on a slope. But I was running in something like a crawling position. But the crawling was very fast and low, almost like the height and speed of Luke Skywalker's flying car in Star Wars. (Although, on waking, I'd thought that my running position had been something like that of a scorpion.)

      It was raining a lot by now. I "ran" down a steeply sloped street and then down a gently sloped street. I sped through a few more streets, zigzagging around corners. But the boy was still behind me.

      I was now probably approaching my destination. I was in an area that felt like it was indoors, even though it probably was outdoors. The sky (if it was a sky) was dark.

      I ran past a power plant, which was a huge area, full of shiny, silvery metal pipes, all tightly banded together, and weird, beaker-shaped structures maybe three meters tall, also made out of the silvery metal, but with some kind of blue circles on them, possibly on their bases.

      It was like I was "running" on a path or aisle space around this power plant. The power plant was on my left. As I turned a corner to my left, a grocery store chain's warehouse stood on the right side of the path. It was possibly for a Kroger's, King Sooper's, or Safeway chain.

      I ran around another left corner, but I found that the grocery warehouse building was going to merge with the power plant. It did, and as I rounded another corner, I found myself in a culdesac made out of the structures of the power plant and the walls of the grocery warehouse.

      I turned around. The boy hadn't gotten around this last corner, but he wasn't far behind. I ran into him at some kind of stairway or something. We were definitely indoors now.

      I looked to my right and saw, a ways away, a few women beyond a door and in something like a library. The women were all maybe in their mid or late twenties. They were all really pretty, with really nice bodies, and they were all dressed professionally.

      I "remembered" that I had just come from that library. I had had to take a subway home from there, possibly with a group of kids I had volunteered to supervise. We'd taken a cicrcuitous route, and we'd needed to change trains at least once. After all that trouble, I "remembered," we'd only gotten to this place. But this place was a very short walk from where we'd started! I kind of thought that sometimes the train was more trouble than it was worth.

      But as the boy and I walked through a set of swinging doors (like doors going into the back area of a grocery store, like a meat area), I looked back over to the girls in the library. I felt like if I kept looking at them long enough, while they were unaware of me, I'd catch some of them starting to make out with each other. I was pretty sure they were all gay, but that they were just hiding it from me.

      The boy and I were now in a small, foyer-like area. To my left, the area seemed to fade off into something like an outdoor area with a maze of metal staircases. To my right was another set of doors, hard double-doors like the entrance to the school. Before me was a window wall. It was night outside and dark in this foyer-like space.

      The boy was now a girl. She was a freshman in high school, and I was a senior in college. But this girl still liked me. And I probably liked her. There was another girl with us. She was probably my age.

      I left the situation. The older girl told the younger girl that if she liked me she should just go with it. She should tell me she liked me.

      There was now a view of the girl's family. The oldest son of the family was in a coma. The mother was watching over him. The son seemed to be laid out on a bed-like table in a room that kind of looked like a bedroom in a suburban house.

      Now the scene had changed. The woman was still watching over the oldest son. But the mother was now with another woman, or possibly another two women her age. None of the women may have been wearing pants.

      The mother told the other women, "My daughter told me, 'I don't care what you think! I'm just gonna live my life and love who I wanna love!'" The mother was saying this in a bragging tone, as if she were proud of her daughter standing up for herself and going out with an older boy.

      The mother walked away from the group, still talking about some of the things her daughter had said. The mother's panties were loose, and I saw something jutting out from the back of the crotch, like a maxi pad or a diaper.

      I was now standing out on some sidewalk, possibly in a space like out in front of an airport. It was morning. The sun was up, but it wasn't over the buildings, so there were little shafts of gold light and big pools of grey-blue shadow. It may have been cold outside.

      I was out on the sidewalk with a young man who probably looked a lot like Lance Loud from the reality show An American Family. The young man was in something like the situation the girl had been in. Except now the situation was that the young man was gay. He'd told his mother, but she didn't approve. They'd gotten into an argument and hadn't spoken with each other in a while.

      But now the oldest son had woken out of his coma and was coming with his mother to meet the young man. The car pulled up to the curb. The oldest son, who kind of looked like a young Andy Warhol in terrible, sixties-style clothes, got out of the car and greeted the young man.

      The oldest son said, "What's the deal man? I know you need to express yourself. But think of how I did it! Do it with a little more sense and tact."

      The oldest son himself was apparently gay. He had, however, broken the news to his mother with a lot better results.

      The oldest son then asked the young man, "By the way, do you have any cash I might be able to borrow?"

      The oldest son and the young man walked down a few cars, to an old, seventies-style cadillac which had just pulled up. It was a drug dealer's car. The oldest son and the young man were apparently going to shoot up on heroin right there, in front of everybody. The young man even had one of his sleeves rolled up!

      The three of us were now in some trash-strewn area at the base of columns for a bridge. We were all sitting in furniture, like a whole living froom set had been laid out in this trash-strewn area. We were all waiting for some guy, possibly someone like a drug dealer, or someone to gived us money for drugs.

      As we waited, the oldest son turned on a song by Elliott Smith, probably from his album Figure 8. I thought I knew the song. But I was only getting half the words. I wondered to myself if the oldest son liked Elliott Smith because he kind of sounded like Lance Loud. Lance Loud was something of a gay icon. So if Elliott Smith sounded like Lance Loud, maybe gay males sympathized with him. (WTF???)

      The next song to play was a Beatles song. It was to the tune of "This Boy," but it had something to do with the words "Sweet Girl" or "Sweet Angel." I managed to half-sing along with this song as well.

      I began to wonder if the young man was getting jealous of me. I knew all the songs the oldest son was playing. I seemed to be showing off that fact. Would the oldest son think I knew a lot, and would he fall in love with me? Was I taking the oldest son's love away from the young man? I may have stoppedd singing at this point, so it wouldn't look like I was singing to impress the oldest son.

      Dream #3

      I walked into a narrow-looking shop on a narrow, stage-like street of wood-fronted buildings. The store was something like a Victoria's Secret. It was getting close to closing time. There were three girls working at the shop, all talking with each other. None of them seemed too worried about my presence.

      I looked around the shop. There were all kinds of panties for little girls. There was apparently lingerie somewhere as well. For some reason I thought I'd try on some of the lingerie. I thought I'd buy some of the little girl panties and wear them while I tried on the lingerie. I thought I'd ask the women working at the store if they were okay with this. (WTF?)

      But the girls were still talking and joking with each other, apparently getting ready to close the shop for the night. And I still couldn't find the lingerie.

      I climbed up on top of one table and then scaled up a bunch of wall-mounted racks. High up in a rack I found more little girl's panties. One pair was pink, satiny, skinny-looking panties. Another pair was like satiny boy-short panties. They were mostly pink, with some blue on the hips. They also had some design like a weird, almost tribal-looking, but cartoony, butterfly on them.

      I mayy eventually have spoken with one of the girls.
    12. closet boxes; museum store; surveillance walls

      by , 06-23-2011 at 11:42 AM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I stood before my closet hallway. There were a lot of boxes in there. I had a lightbulb box in my hand. It was empty, so I figured I'd just throw it out to make space.

      There were some other boxes in there, possibly including a box for diapers. I threw them out, too. Suddenly I had only one box in my closet. It was the only box that had anything in it. It was white cardboard.

      I thought I could start stacking stuff up on this box. But I was a little afraid to. The box looked a little dirty, like it had bugs crawling on it. I didn't want to put more stuff on this box and get everything else all buggy.

      Dream #2

      I was in the gift shop for a museum. The man there basically owned and ran the gift shop. The gift shop was closing down, and a lot of its shelves were empty. I remember one particular wall of light-beige wood shelves that were completely empty. The walls behind the shelves were grey, like a dark concrete or cinder.

      The owner came up and smiled at me. He was white, bald, with a grey-white mustache and a kind of friendly look. He also seemed to be a little bit muscular. He spoke to me in some friendly way about some of the discounts he had throughout the store.

      I was now alone in the store. I somehow heard my boss talking with a woman, or possibly with a woman and a man. I had apparently left my job for good. This had been somehwat planned. But now my boss was being urged to get me back. My boss was told that I should try to be tricked into believing that I was actually obliged to stay on for two more weeks.

      As I heard this stuff, I had kind of been floating around on my back throughout the store. I had floated up high for a little while. But now I was floating at about the level of the checkout counter.

      I looked at the green, digital numbers on the display of the tan, plastic cash register. They said "4-17." I knew that meant that today was April 17th. This was, I thought, about two weeks before I was scheduled to leave work. But I really didn't want to have to go back to my office, and I was trying to think whether this story these people would be feeding me about how I needed to go back was actually true.

      Dream #3

      I woke up. The lights were on in my room. My eyes were really blurry. But, I knew, because of my half-sleeping condition, I could see things that I normally wouldn't see.

      I looked at my walls. There were black spots all around the room, at about waist height. The spots were set in pairs, and the pairs were spaced with about one meter intervals. The pairs of spots were set so that two spots were right next to each other, one set up a little diagonally to the other. The black spots were little spy cameras.

      Up near the top of the wall were much more widely spaced, much bigger devices, which may have been colored like rusty metal. They looked like small versions of the horns for old phonographs.

      I knew people were spying on me by using all this stuff. But I didn't know who was spying on me. There was suddenly a high-pitched ringing in my ears. It got more and more intense.
    13. grandma's nuclear machine, girl harry potter, hamburger christmas, forest walk

      by , 06-07-2011 at 12:13 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a scientific laboratory. The floor I was on looked like the lobby for a nature center or a church. There were tall glass walls showing a clear day outside. The floors were some kind of deep-red stone, polished heavily. One other window to my left and about 5 meters away from me looked down, apparently, to a basement area, which was dark.

      My great grandmother was going down into the basement area to test out some kind of atomic science device. It was like some kind of atomic particle beam ray. It could be used either for scientific purposes or as a weapon.

      My great grandmother now walked into another room to my left and went down the stairs. I may have stood on the threshhold of the first room and the room with the stairs. A man and a woman stood with me, though they both stood in the first room. The woman was talking about how once a proton beam was set in motion, it would go into an orbit around the earth, destroying whatever came into its path. This could possibly lead to the destruction of the whole earth.

      The man now said, "Hmm... maybe we should get ----- (something like Swami Sarasvati) to talk about that kind of stuff." The man was basically implying that the physics of the machine were basically like the elements of Hindu religion.

      The woman said, "Or we could get ----- (some famous Western physicist)."

      To make a joke, I thought I'd recommend getting the Play-Doh man to talk. I envisioned holding a Play-Doh ball in my hand and smashing it. This was basically to suggest the destruction of the world, but as a joke, apparently.

      I made the hand gesture and said, "Or maybe we should get --," but I was suddenly interrupted by my great grandmother calling me from downstairs. She sounded pretty insistent, so I ran toward the stairs. I called out to the man and woman, still making the hand gesture, "Maybe we should get the Play-Doh man!"

      The woman got my joke and said, "Play-Doh man. Oh...!" as if she were going to start laughing.

      I now lay on my stomach before a staircase down to the basement. The staircase looked like in a suburban house, and it was bordered by a thin, wooden railing, like for a child's crib.

      My great grandmother's voice came from below. She said, "I need you to go get the money. I can't do the project without it." But she also discussed how she needed me to go get the money to protect it from getting into some other people's hands. My grandmother told me that the money was in a place outside of my usual activities. I took this to mean it was in some mansion in a rich neighborhood in Georgia.

      I asked my great grandmother how I could possibly get into these mansions. She told me that I wouldn't have as much trouble as I thought I would, and that I should be pretty honest about my aims with anybody I encountered.

      There was now a tall, bald, black man in the room with me. He stood over by what looked like a kitchen counter with a bunch of appliances, boxed and unboxed, on it. But the devices were actually weapons and parts to the device that my great grandma was testing out.

      The man made some kind of threatening statement, in a smirking way, about how he was going to destroy the whole project. I tackled him and pinned him to the floor. We were down beside a bed. I was on my knees, on the man's ribs. I had him pinned, and he couldn't move. But he didn't seem worried at all. He was still smirking.

      He made some move where he was now on his back. He had better control of his arms, and he tried to make some weird move against me. But I managed to counter that move and get control of him.

      Suddenly I was "my old self (?)," an old, white haired, German man who had been a Nazi. I had apparently tortured this man in the past.

      I lifted the man up and carried him over toward the head of the bed. The walls were grey concrete, like in a basement. At the head of the bed was a single wooden pole, kind of thin. I lifted the man's head up and said, "You couldn't leave things alone, could you? You had to bring the old me back. Well, now I'll treat you like the old me treated you!"

      I was going to slam the man's head down on the thin pole so that I pierced his brain through one of his eyes. But I was a little disgusted at the thought of this, and I either didn't do it or didn't see myself doing it.

      I was myself again. Some series of events had taken place, the project was completed, and my great grandma was up out of the basement again. A few people were around, like family, meeting after the project. But I still didn't have the money.

      I went to look for my great grandma to tell her I didn't have the money. I found her in her bedroom, apparently changing clothes. The bedroom was dim grey.

      I called out, "Grandma? I couldn't find the money. I don't know where it is." This actually wasn't true. I was actually kind of too shy to go to the Georgia mansions to look for it.

      My great grandma yelled, "Well I told you where it was! Go to a place outside your usual activity. You know what that is. And tell people exactly what you're doing!"

      I felt terrible. I was too shy and afraid to do this. I figured I might fail entirely at getting this money. What would happen?

      I was now in some kind of bedroom that looked like an exotic bedroom in an Arabian mansion, like in the movies. A bed stood atop a few marble steps, curtained on either side by thin, pink-orange drapes.

      Before the bed stood a kind of pretty boy dressed as a girl. He had long, blonde-brown hair and he wore a yellow-green and black striped shirt and a denim mini-skirt. He was apparently Harry Potter.

      Harry explained how I could get past my fear and take care of my mission. It took a few minutes before I realized that Harry was wearing a diaper under his mini-skirt. I started to vanish from the room, but I remained fixated on the fact that this transvestite boy was wearing a diaper.

      Harry, all by himself, began dancing in a kind of wild but sexy way all around the huge bedroom. I now saw a view from below the floor, looking straight up Harry's skirt, at his diaper. The diaper seemed to be blue, like blue jeans.

      I seemed to be sinking lowe and lower. I ended up on some kind of portico area with a group of students and a couple of male teachers. The students and teachers were all Latino and black. The students were a mix of boys and girls.

      I somehow figured that since I'd failed at my task, there would be no Christmas for these children. The children, without mentioning me (I wasn't present), kind of sadly complained about this fact.

      I felt terrible about this, but I thought there had to be some kind of magical way that Christmas could appear for these children. After all, Christmas is a magical holiday. Suddenly, slightly glowing objects began to fill the air. They were all supposed to be things like Christmas objects. But they were actually things like fast food items.

      One of the boys, seeing these items, said, "Hey guys! Don't worry! We've got Christmas right here! Just eat one of these Christmas hamburgers out of the air!" The boy himself ate a Christmas hamgurger. One of his male friends did so as well.

      The two boys were suddenly acting like they were drunk or stoned. The students were all walking to some educational site. One boy grabbed on to the arm of one of his teachers, a big, Latino man with long hair in a ponytail, as if the boy were the teacher's girlfriend. Another boy was at the back of the line, bouncing around and acting crazy.

      Finally, as the group continued walking toward the educational site, the first boy woke frfom his stupor. He ran back to the second boy and warned him not to eat the hamburgers.

      The school group was now of little, Japanese boys and girls. There were two male, Japanese teachers. I was now present with the group.

      We were walking into a forest full of yellow-leafed trees. A couple of girls, as we walked into the forest, called out, "Kirei!"

      I noticed that the scenery was getting all fuzzy, like a digitized video view getting more and more pixellated. I thought I'd comment on this to the teachers. But I didn't know whether, if I did this, I'd be breaking the Japanese customs of respectfulness.

      We walked along a really muddy path. At some point, I had to push aside the stalks of a tall, tree-like shrub. One of the branches touched my face. It was all muddy. I just decided to let the stalks go and not worry about whether I was clearing a way for the students behind me. But just as I decided to do that, it turned out that we were past that area.

      The teachers were now turning us around, but we were walking back on a path parallel to the path we had walked out on. This second path was flooded with water, which reflected the blue of the sky. I thought this would be kind of inconvenient. A horse was also standing in the water.
    14. au revoir boss; carrying steel models; guy in movie theatre

      by , 05-29-2011 at 01:59 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in an office with my boss and the head of our department, J. J made a comment about the conditions of our company. He then said, "Well, your boss will tell you more about that." J then walked out of the office, through a doorway that may possibly have been to a stairwell.

      Only my boss and I were now left on the office floor. The space was kind of narrow. There was some kind of long counter or reception desk running along the area where my boss and I stood.

      My boss stood a few feet away from me. He looked a little different than IWL. His hair was cut short, and he was wearing really nice eyeglasses with no frames on the bottom of the lenses and nice, thin, black frames across the top. He was also wearing a pale, lemon-yellow shirt that looked very clean and pressed.

      My boss said, "Well, I guess I should tell you it's going to happen to me next. But don't say I told you."

      I understood this to mean that my boss was going to leave the company. But he'd said it so quietly and mumbled, and he'd told me not to talk about it. So I acted like it wasn't a big deal, like I almost hadn't heard him in the first place. I actually may also have hoped he'd say whatever he'd said again, since he'd mumbled and been so quiet that I wasn't quite sure I heard him correctly.

      My boss was annoyed by my reaction, as if he thought what he'd said hadn't sunk into my skull at all. So, as I walked closer to him, he took out a plastic pen, kind of fatter than normal, and poked me at the top right side of my chest, and said, "Au revoir."

      It was now clear that my boss was leaving the company. My boss had given me a parting gift. It was a huge book by Marguerite Duras. I don't remember the title. It was a fat paperback. It had a yellow cover, possibly with some kind of painting inside a circle on the center on the front.

      My boss and I stood at the far end of the counter now. Just beyond us was an unlit area that looked like a living room, or even like two decent-sized living rooms separated from each other by some kind of partitions. The rooms were visible only by the fluorescent light of the office area and the deep blue morning or evening light coming in through the wall-sized windows.

      The counter looked now more like an alcohol bar made out of office materials. My boss wandered around to the other side of the bar. As he did I told him, "Well, I'm really thankful to you. You took a chance on me when nobody else would..."

      But my boss waved me off, as if to say, "Don't start with all that modesty stuff again." He came back around the bar and handed me another book. It was also by Marguerite Duras. It was much thinner than the first book. It had the same kind of yellow color. This book was titled Abe Diem----- or Abe Dies----- (can't remember the rest of the word). I figued the title was German.

      Dream #2

      I was walking on some concrete path with two other people. One was probably my sister. The other was a kind of fat man maybe my age or younger, maybe in his mid 20s.

      It was a bright, sunny day. The path we walked on was like a sidewalk, and it was in a suburban neighborhood. But it was actually crossing some area between two grassy fields on either side of which were blocks of houses. The area we were walking through at first was narrow, as if there were some kind of construction trailer to our right.

      At least my sister and I were carrying something. We both carried the objects slung over our shoulders. My sister carried one bag of something and a huge, black-metal frame almost like a bed frame. The frame had a bunch of figures molded into the empty space. The figures looked like toys, like army figures, or little toy-wrestling figures. The thing looked extremely awkward and heavy to carry. I may actually have felt this from my sister's point of view.

      I was carrying a plastic bag with a huge pack of Huggies diapers in it. It wasn't very heavy at all.

      I felt kind of guilty for carrying something so light and easy while my sister carried such a big, heavy frame. At some point either I or the other man suggested that we stop a moment, ostensibly to give my sister a break. The man stopped. I slowed down, unsure as to what our plan was. My sister kept going. She said she didn't need a break. And before long, she was altogether gone.

      We were finally now just past the trailer or series of trailers that had made the place seem so narrow. We were in a grassy field, like a litte park. The guy had stopped right past the far end of the trailers. I'm pretty sure he hadn't been holding anything before. But now he set down a white, cloth bag and a black frame like the one my sister had.

      I set down my bag with the huge pack of Huggies diapers. I was also carrying a small, black bag which had something square in it. I set the black bag on top of the Huggies bag, hoping that I could conceal the fact from the man that I was carrying all these diapers around with me.

      The man now explained the black frame to me. He said you painted one side of the figures and then pressed them against a canvas. In this way you created some kind of big painting of all these figures.

      There was also another frame, which may have been of copper or bronze. Not everybody had this second frame. But it produced a second layer on the paintings, which gave the figures "moveable arms." The arms really weren't moveable on the painting. But I guess what was meant was that the torso, legs, and head of the figures were one color, while the arms were another color.

      In my mind's eye I saw a brownish-copper color canvas or paper dotted with gnarly, little paint-figures. The legs, torsos, and heads of the figures were black, while the arms were either white or a very pale, bright shade of purple.

      Dream #3

      I was in a movie theatre with a few other people. The movie theatre was huge, but there were only a few of us, all scattered through the first three or four rows of the theatre. Two people I was aware of were an older man with big, clear glasses and pale, blue eyes, and a young, pretty, blonde woman.

      We were all here as part of some audition. Or we may actually already have been performing. But as part of this audition or performance we had to watch whatever movie was playing.

      I may have been second row. Something felt very weird just to my left, as if the seats were gone, or as if something or someone was crowding me almost to the point of pushing against me.

      The old man was in the row behind me. He tapped my left shoulder. He said to me, "See over there, in the front row? That boy? Even though he's a star, he wanted to be part of this thing, too. Heh, heh! He called his agent up directly and asked to be given a space down here today!"

      I looked to the boy the man had pointed out. He seemed to look like Frankie Muniz from Malcolm in the Middle. But he wore a round-brimmed hat and big, thick eyeglasses. He sat in the front row, in one of the far left seats. He had seemed a little standoffish to me, though I'm not sure when he had seemed this way. But now he seemed shy, kind of fragile, and in need of a friend.

      I was now sitting at a table, apparently in some kind of restaurant. The table was for four. To my right was a window wall which revealed the pink-peach light of early sunrise or late sunset, possibly over a body of water, like a huge lake.

      The "star" sat caddy-corner from me at the table, eating something like cereal or oatmeal. I may have been eating or only drinking a cup of coffee. I suddenly recognized the "star." It was a man named Aki, a guy who DJ'd at a relief concert that had been held at the Japan Society.

      I was excited to see him again, as I'd lost contact with him. But I remembered how shy and fragile he'd seemed as the "star" kid in the theatre. So I didn't speak too enthusiastically to him, or even let on that I knew who he was.

      I asked him something about his life. He responded in a kind of quiet tone, like he was a little depressed. I thought I wouldn't press any more conversation, although it looked like he was probably getting ready to say a few more things on his own.
    15. charles bronson in diapers; reverse telescope gag; little girl's wish

      by , 05-23-2011 at 11:44 AM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      It was a bright, clear day. Charles Bronson lay on his back on a stone step or bench that felt like it was either the top bleacher section of some really tall stadium or some high point on a building.

      Charles Bronson was naked except for a diaper, which he was currently wetting. A young, pretty blonde woman sat at Bronson's feet, waiting to change Bronson. From the look in her eyes she liked the fact that Bronson wore diapers and wet them.

      Dream #2

      A woman was on stage right before or at the beginning of an event like the Oscars. She gave a short speech and then said that the announcer for the show would be out to present in one moment.

      The stage and the theatre seemed really large while the woman had been speaking. I had seen everything from a far back, high up row. But now, as the woman left the stage through a door to the left, my view followed her. The woman walked out into a fluorescent lit hallway. I turned back to look in at the theatre. The place looked really small.

      My view was back inside the theatre, as if hovering just above the people in the first rows. A kind of old man walked in through the door through which the woman had left. The man may have made some comment about seeing the people in the back row. So he put a telescope to his eye. But he put the wrong end of the telescope to his eye.

      I could already tell that the guy was going to make some kind of gag about how it seemed like the people in the back row were really far away or how it was like everybody in the audience looked really small or something like that. I kind of didn't want to hear such a groaner.

      But the guy seemed to be delaying this joke. All this time he had stayed halfway in and halfway out of the door. Now he shuffled sideways all the way into the theatre and up onto the stage. I assumed he would make his telescope joke once he was up on the stage.

      Dream #3

      I was laying on a couch, on my back. There was a window somewhere beyond my feet, letting in some grey naturaly light. Just beside the couch's arm on which my head was resting there may have been a bookshelf. I think I had my hands under my head.

      A little girl with long, brown hair stood beside the couch. She wasn't wearing any clothes. She may have eventually crawled up on the couch to sit beside me. She told me, "I wish I had boobs."

      I told her, "Be glad for the time being that you don't have boobs. Probably once you have them you'll think they're a real pain in the neck."

      The little girl was now gone. There were a lot of people in the room now. I knew an older woman was coming to talk to me. I may even have heard her call for me. So I sat up and looked back.

      The couch was apparently in some place like a cafe or a grocery store like Whole Foods. The room I was in was somewhat like a living room. But beyond this room there were food counters and display shelves running down a kind of narrow hall that I think opened into a bigger room.

      There was a pretty full crowd of people, maybe men and women in their late twenties, looking around and shopping. From them I saw the woman, kind of short, skinny, with short, grey and black hair coming through the crowd. She asked, "What did you tell that little girl?"

      I didn't think that anything I'd told the little girl was wrong. But I saw how it could be construed as wrong. I lay on my right side, shouting out something to the woman. I thoujght I had been telling the woman what I'd been saying to the girl. But at some point I realized I wasn't telling the truth at all. In fact, I was telling some kind of nonsense story that would look like I was trying to cover up what I'd said.

      So now I really focused on what I was saying. I told the old woman (wherever she was), "I told the girl that she should be happy for the time that she doesn't have boobs. Because once she gets boobs it'll be a real pain in the neck. Because guys'll be chasing her all over the place."
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