• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. talk about lucid fail; friend and park; brother and drawing; attack helmet; floating with family

      by , 01-13-2012 at 03:46 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      A tall, white man, bald on top, with white hair around the sides of his head, and wearing a grey suit with a white shirt and, probably, a maroon tie, was sitting at a table with me in a drably fluorescent-lit room, talking about lucid dreaming.

      I don't remember what the man said now, although I could hear it pretty well. One word in particular really struck me, although when I woke up I seemed to think that that word could have applied to any subject.

      Dream #2

      I was standing at the edge of a city park. The park felt small near me, though I had the idea that it was actually a rather large park. I stood on the inside of a black-painted iron fence. A sidewalk ran just outside the park. It was a nice, sunny day. There were a lot of people on the sidewalk.

      Somehow I saw, off to my left, my old friend R walking around the corner. He was walking under the shade of some trees. I didn't really want to see him again. But if he was here, and if he saw me, I supposed I should be happy to talk to him.

      The entrance to the park was on my side. And R was rounding the corner to reach my side. But for some reason, I started walking over to the side of the park where R was. It was like I wanted to meet him before he got to my side.

      But, only a few steps away from where I'd been, I realized that I'd just left my backpack (??? -- don't wear one IWL) behind. I turned around to grab it. It might have been leaning against a tall headstone, like for a grave.

      I grabbed my backpack. But by this time, R had already rounded the corner. He was now walking past where I stood. He may have said something to me. We may even have been talking to each other -- in my head. R was already about to reach the next corner.

      Somehow I came to understand that I would be meeting R at some other place, like we'd arranged to meet each other for dinner or at R's house or something. I now walked away from the park gates and down toward the opposite end of the park.

      The park, I'm pretty sure, had a lot of gravestones in it. It might actually have been a cemetery. I walked across a lawn full of gravestones, under the thick shade of trees.

      At some point I saw -- as if I were walking there, but not quite -- the street on the other side of the park. It was an empty street, with a big, residential apartment building. The building was kind of old and run down. It was made of stone or concrete, and it was painted white. It glared in the sunlight.

      I was thinking something to myself. But I can't remember what. I was probably still continuing my in-head conversation with R.

      Dream #3

      I was sitting on a couch with my brother. My brother sat to my right. To my left was another couch, on which sat two or three women. The women weren't my family members, though maybe they were supposed to have been.

      I was either drawing or looking at drawings and humming or singing a tune to myself. I remember sensing the tune -- hearing it and feeling it in my throat. But I don't remember the tune at all.

      The first drawing I was looking at was kind of tall and narrow. It was of some human-like figure. The figure was all green, with a masculine, slender, but muscular body, and a featureless face. The figure had smallish wings, kind of butterfly-shaped, but clear, like fly-wings.

      The figure stood before a background, like a sky fading upward, from the horizon, from yellowish to greenish-yellow, to olive-green.

      The second drawing was of a sky and a landscape below. The landscape was very small as I remember, and the sky was very vast. A whole lot of demon-like entities were being released from the sky. They may have come from some ship, but I can't remember.

      The demons were little, black, scraggly shadows. In the center of these scraggly shadows there were single, pink orbs, almost like eyes.

      The sky faded very quickly from a dark band of blue at the top, to a paler blue, and finally to a white, which took up most of the vast sky. For some reason, the whole thing reminded me of something out of Neon Genesis Evangelion, and I might even have started making up a story about Shinji Ikari attacking these demons.

      I was still humming or singing. At some point the women started singing or humming along with my tune. Finally my brother made some smart-ass comment to me about how stupid my song was. He also asked me something like, couldn't I quit making so much noise while he was around?

      I stopped. I was really offended and angry. The women stopped as well. But they took more of an attitude of being scared by the sudden change in tone in the environment.

      I turned to my brother and said a lot of really bad stuff to him. I remember sensing each thing I said to him -- but I can't remember what I said. All I know is that I was calculating everything I said to hurt him and make him feel as terrible and worthless as possible.

      Finally I said that I only tolerated being around him, and nothing more -- that I didn't like being around him.

      I then did some strange move where I lifted my hands, bent my arms, grabbed onto the back of the couch, and flipped myself over to the backside of the couch. When I did this, I was in another room.

      As soon as I had said everything I felt really terrible. I could tell that my brother had taken everything I'd said to heart. I knew that he'd probably lose faith in himself and go off and get into some kind of trouble. It really upset me that I'd started off that whole chain of events -- even though, while I'd said everything, it was exactly what I'd meant to do.

      I didn't seriously mean anything I'd said, though, and now I wanted to apologize to my brother for everything.

      My brother was standing right next to me. I figured this would be the best time for me to apologize to him and get things back in order between us.

      We were staring at a table full of arts and crafts supplies. The main thing I remember is yellow, plastic canisters of powdered paint. The canisters looked like label-less Crayola products. We had to pour the powdered paint into white, styrofome bowls and add water. I may have called this paint "tempera."

      I was looking at the table and apologizing to my brother. My brother was telling me something like, It's okay, it's okay, I'm okay, don't worry about it. But I still felt awful, and I wanted my brother to know I was sorry.

      Dream #4

      A girl, probably an Asian girl, maybe in her early or mid teens, was wearing a strange helmet. The helmet was made out of brightly polished chrome.

      The skull of the helmet held pretty close to the woman's head. But the jaw of the helmet extended straight forward, on both sides, forming something like two stylized, trapezoidal tusks. There may -- possibly, I'm not sure -- also have been ear-like or wing-like shapes coming off the top of the head.

      I wondered why the woman would need to wear something like this. It didn't make sense, for daily life.

      But somehow I got the understanding that the woman had been attacked, either physically or spiritually, in her life. She was still healing from the attack. And she was still vulnerable to future attacks. So, to protect the healing areas, the woman had to wear this helmet. The helmet may also have helped her fight, in the case of any future attacks.

      Dream #5

      I was at my old friend R's apartment. But, for some reason, it was now my family's house. My mom and my mom's best friend were at the house. My sister was also there. Other people may also have been there. But I'm not sure who they were.

      We were in somebody's bedroom, which was at one end of the apartment. I was sitting on the edge of a big, fluffy bed.

      My mom and my mom's friend were secretly worrying over me. They didn't say anything to me. But they were discussing the fact that I was seeing demons, and that I might, therefore, be suffering from schizophrenia. My sister may also have been involved in the conversation.

      I got up, not quite feeling like myself, but still trying to prove that I was sane. I'm pretty sure the fact was that I was seeing demons. But I think I was trying to prove to somebody that they were real. But if I couldn't prove they were real, I could, at least, in the meantime, prove that I had a decent grip on the rest of reality.

      I walked into the next room, adjacent to the bedroom. I'm not sure what it was. For some reason, I saw the door on the left wall of the room. I wanted to jump from where I was, through the doorway, into the hallway.

      I jumped, and I made it. But instead of landing, I decided I just wanted to keep flying. I knew that one could hover 12cm or so above the ground if one had jumped, and that one could move about a bit more quickly than walking by floating around at this height.

      I floated off to my left, up the hallway, into the kitchen, where my mom and her friend were. They may still have been talking about how crazy I was. I thought they'd especially think I was crazy, now that I was flying around. I think they'd even think I was crazy for thinking I could fly.

      But I wanted to keep flying, and I wanted to prove to somebody that I was flying. So I turned around and headed down the hallway. My sister was walking up the hallway. I figured if she saw me flying she'd know I was flying and that I wasn't crazy.

      But as I passed the front door of the apartment, right before I saw my sister, I passed a pair of high heels. The high heels were very strange. The toes and sides of them were covered in a red fabric with white designs. The heels were covered with something like blue denim and white designs. The shoes were then -- somehow -- fringed with white lace.

      For some reason, these monstrosities really caught my fancy. I said, "Ooh!" And even turned back to look at them as I passed them. My sister saw how I paid attention to the shoes. I thought, Oh great. Now she'll think I like the shoes because I like wearing women's shoes. And she'll think that since I "like wearing women's shoes," I'm crazy.

      My sister was already heading back up the hallway, toward the bathroom, which was near the kitchen. I turned around to follow her, hoping I could say something to her which would make her think I wasn't crazy.

      But my sister was talking to me about some kind of fashion show, which the shoes had been a part of. My sister was talking about one dress in particular from the show. My sister either liked the dress or the model for the dress.

      The model may have looked like an ultra-thin version of Scarlet Johanssen (I probably spelled that wrong). She had pale skin, and her hair was in a very 1930s-style, triangular kind of cut, not quite shoulder length, full of tight, blonde curls.

      The model wore a red dress with white designs. The fabric of the dress was kind of thick and practical, not thin, sheer, or soft. The collar-line of the dress was very low and had a wide v-cut. The sleeves were kind off poofy, in an angular way.

      The model also wore a blue hat, the fabric seemed to be like denim. The had basically just sat, tiltled kind of rakishly, atop the curls of the model's hair. It didn't really fit over the whole skull.
    2. block of stars; trimming trees

      by , 01-07-2012 at 01:57 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      It was daytime. I was with my mom, out in the middle of the street in what looked like a suburban block of houses. The houses were about average sized, or maybe even smaller than average. But this was apparently one of the blocks (in Hollywood?) famous for the movie stars who resided here.

      A male celebrity had just moved in here. There were a whole bunch of people, all gathered on the sidewalk around the man's house -- which was kind of small. The people were all taking pictures of the house. I think they expected the man to come out of the house soon.

      But I knew that the houses on both sides of the man were empty. To the right of the man's house, there may actually have been two empty houses.

      I knew that a lot of movie stars were out of employment, and that many had had to give up their houses. This neighborhood was becoming desolate. I even wondered why the people in front of the man's house had come here, if all they really had to photograph today was this one man's house.

      I started thinking that if these houses were so small, and if the neighborhood was so empty, perhaps the house prices were a lot lower. I thought that maybe if I got a job here, even if it wasn't a good job, I could afford the rent on one of these houses.

      I walked down toward one of the houses on the right of the man's house. I must have been trying to see if I could get into the house. I then walked up to one of the houses on the left. I think I actually tried the doorknob on that house.

      But my mom -- I think -- got my attention. I think I was trying, in front of my mom, not to look like I was thinking of moving into one of these places. My mom called me across the street, to a house we had been here to visit in the first place.

      I crossed the street and walked into the house. As I did, the sky may have been getting really grey. I walked into the house, possibly with my mom.

      The house was now my mom's house. I had come into the house with one of my friends. I was in the living room, by myself. My friend and my mom may have been in the dining room or the kitchen, which was separated from the living room by a dividing wall.

      The living room was dim, unlit, only lit with the light coming from the dining room or kitchen. The living room may also have been really empty.

      But there was an entertainment center on the wall to my right. And on that entertainment center there may have been a small pile of mail. I think I took two pieces of mail and hid them under my shirt.

      I could hear my mom and my friend talking. At some point I went into the kitchen while my mom and my friend. I thought I'd join the conversation. But they'd left without my seeing them. They were now either in the living room, or standing up in a stairwell up to the second floor. The stairwell was near the entertainment center.

      The dining area was kind of L-shaped. The "base" of the L had a dining table. The "side" of the L had a sofa and a kind of long coffee table. The L-shape surrounded the kitchen, which was walled off, I think, from my view.

      As I sat on the couch, I could hear my mom and my friend talking. They were actually talking about what a lazy person I was. I sat, curled up on the couch, kind of feeling terrible about myself.

      But, for some reason, I thought that my mom would be really impressed by this magic trick I had to show her. I pulled the two pieces of mail out from under my shirt. One envelope was white. The other was black. I thought my trick of the "magically appearing" mail would be pretty cool.

      But then I realized, almost as if my friend were telling me this in my head, that my mom would be far from impressed if I pulled her stolen mail out from under my shirt. I was here -- we were both here -- to prove that we were good enough for something or other.

      I sat the two pieces of mail on the coffee table, hoping that my mom wouldn't miss them on the entertainment center and would just think she'd sat them on the coffee table. I'd have sat them back on the entertainment center, except that my mom was somewhere near it right then.

      Dream #2

      It was night. I was standing out in front of a house in a suburban neighborhood. The front yards for these houses were huge, even though the houses themselves were of about average size or smaller.

      My mom and I had just arrived, and were walking out of a pickup truck. The house we'd arrived at was set weird, like the front door was on the "right" side of the house, instead of on the "front" side, which would have faced the street. The porch light for the house was on, lighting up a really good portion of the yard with raspy, white, incandescent light.

      My mom was getting me set up on the project of trimming a tree or shrub that was in "front" of the house (the side facing the street). She gave me some kind of instructions, and told me why it would be difficult for me to do this.

      But before we got to work trimming the tree, my mom built -- almost instantaneously, and all by herself -- a plaster-like dome coming off of the "front-right" corner of the house. She encased us in it as she built it.

      It was now built. My mom led me around a kind of dividing wall in the structure. We went through a doorway and were back in the yard. Somehow this dome separated us from the truck. My mom told me something like once I started my job, I couldn't go back, or once I started my job I couldn't go back until I'd finished the job.

      I must have grabbed a pair of clippers and got to work clipping the tree. The tree was possibly a weeping cherry. It had drooping, kind of maroon-colored branches. Berries seemed to be growing off of it, more like hawthorn-berries than cherries. They were bright and red.

      Hawthorn berries

      Weeping cherry

      But for some reason, I got distracted from this work and began to fly in the front yard. My flying was controlled by my arms, mostly by the movement of my hands. So if I lifted my hands (clenched in fists) up to my shoulders, I'd lift from the ground. If I stretched my arms way over my head, I'd fly really high. If I shifted my hands to the left or right, I'd move that way as well.

      But at some point, I saw my great-grandmother (who IWL passed away a little over two years ago) sitting up really high in something like an oak tree that had no limbs until the high-up limbs in which my grandma sat.

      I landed at the base of the tree and looked up to my grandma. My grandma said if I was ----- (something in reference to the cherry tree I'd been cutting), that my real concern should, then, be to trim the -----berry tree.

      My grandma pointed across the street, to another tree in the front yard with the cherry tree. This tree was a lot like the tree my grandma sat in. It had bark like a pin-oak tree. But it was really tall, and it didn't have any limbs until way up high on the tree. But I knew that the branches of this tree also bore bright red, hawthorn-like berries.

      I was now at the base of that tree. I may have started flying in the front yard again. But now I realized that my mom was no longer here. I may have remembered her saying that she was going to get some more tools, so she could help me trim the trees. But she hadn't come back. I decided to look for her.

      I went into the house. It now turned out that I wasn't looking for my mom because she had gone missing after looking for tools. I was now looking for her because she had just come back from getting food for the family from some fast food joint, and she had forgotten to tell me and give me my food.

      I saw the bags of fast food on a dining table on the right wall as I entered the house. I may also have seen some other person there, like a childhood version of my little sister. And I probably heard or saw a television blaring somewhere. Something about the atmosphere felt very frenetic.

      Just to the left of the table was a door, which I knew was the door to my mother's room. I just thought I'd poke my head in there and ask if it was okay for me to get my food before I grabbed into the bags of food.

      But when I opened the door, I saw some young Latino guy making out with some young woman. The guy seemed kind of upset. So I closed the door.

      My mindset totally changed. It was like my mom wasn't even around anymore. I was now in this guy's house. This guy had gotten the food. I was working on this guy's trees. And he was in his room, making out with this woman. I felt ashamed for having intruded.

      The man called to me from inside the room. I opened the door. The guy was still laying there, half-naked, on this woman, on a couch. He looked up toward me. He had a kind of chubby face and chubby arms. His hair was shaved pretty short. He wore black, Oakley-style sunglasses.

      I asked the guy about the food. He told me, sure, just grab my stuff and some fries out of the bag, don't worry about it. After I closed the door and was grabbing my food, I heard the man say to his giggling girlfriend, "Geez. He sure works hard in asking for his food. But he doesn't work hard at any of the work I give him."

      I felt bad about what the man had said. I think I felt so bad that I decided not to take any food after all.

      I walked around in a room off from the living room. This room also basically looked just like a living room. But the ceilings were really high. There were family pictures dotting the walls, all the way up to the ceiling.

      For some reason, I decided to start flying again. I think I had really good control over my flight now. I practiced going up and down and left and right a lot. But then I tried doing some flips. When I'd reach the ceiling, I'd flip or somersault really close to it.
    3. why is a raven like a space station?

      by , 01-01-2012 at 04:08 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      I don't think I've ever made an out and out joke (albeit corny) in a dream before this dream.

      This dream is another instance of so-so dream control. I was watching the video below yesterday afternoon. I thought it might be fun to dream myself onto the International Space Station.

      But I got afraid of messing up the machinery if I actually projected myself up there. So I told myself not to try, after all. Anyway, the dream I had is a result of that thought process.

      Dream #1

      It was a sunny day. I was flying over the roofs of some really nice, 19th century-style mansions. I was apparently searching for a book I'd lost. It may have been some sort of classic book. But I think it was actually a porn novel or porn magazine.

      I think a bird had stolen this book. I may have seen evidence that the bird was on the roof of a house just in front of me. I may have seen something like a little nest on one of the peaks of the roof. I may have felt like the book was now a part of that nest.

      But I was now floating in between two mansions. The mansions both had complex roofs, with a lot of different angles of sloping. My oldest nephew straddled the roof of one of the mansions. My mom sat on the roof of the other mansion.

      I may have been here now in order to get some books for my nephew. My mom had a couple of books on her roof. I think I was going to bring those over for my nephew. But there was still one book missing.

      But now a cartoon bird landed at the edge of the roof of my mom's mansion. The cartoon bird was black, so I thought it was a raven. But it actually looked like the Warner Bros chicken hawk character, Henery Hawk.

      The "raven" had the missing book on top of its head, for some reason. The book was real, even though the raven was a cartoon.

      I thought, Whoa! Now's my chance!

      Still floating in between the two mansions, I turned to my nephew. I said, "Hey! Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

      My nephew said, "What?"

      I bobbed back around to the raven and said, "Why is a raven like a writing desk? Because it has a book on its top!"

      My nephew said, "Oh. I guess."

      The raven now, for some reason, did something like faint. It slid down the right slope of the roof, taking the book down with it. I floated over to the peak of the roof and sat there, looking down at the bird.

      I was a little sore that my nephew either didn't get my joke or thought it was corny. I was trying to blame him for the fact that he thought my joke was corny.

      I could see the book laying at the bottom of the roof's slope, as if it were about to slip off the roof's edge. I guess the raven had already slipped off the roof's edge.

      I thought about getting the book, before it slipped, too. But I really didn't want to do my nephew any favors, after he hadn't liked my joke. But I could see the other books, near my mom. And I figured I'd get those ones for him.

      My nephew asked me to get the other book. He couldn't see it, and he didn't know whether it had fallen or not.

      But I told my nephew I couldn't get the book. I said, "It's in too hard a place to reach. I'm an old man, now. I can't reach into all kinds of places like I used to."

      I now really was an old man. I was a tall, white man, with a big belly. I was bald, with dirtyish grey hair on the sides of my head. I probably wore a nice button-up shirt and blue jeans.

      I was walking with two extremely hot women, probably in their mid- to late-twenties. They were like models. But they were astronauts. They were dressed in these extremely sexy, silvery jumpsuits which, I guess, were their space suits.

      We walked through an automatic, sliding-steel door on a vanilla-yellow wall. We walked into some area that looked like a cafeteria. But not far above my head were all kinds of staircases, as if there were a maze of balconies above this eating area. At the other end of this room was a huge window wall, revealing a gigantic swimming pool area.

      I knew that one of these women was my daughter-in-law. The other woman was a partner on the flight that my daughter-in-law was about to take.

      I was here to see my daughter-in-law off on her space flight. My daughter-in-law and her friend were dropping me off here to relax and wait in the preparation time before launch. I knew that this cafeteria was part of some fitness area, and that the girls were probably going to do a little exercise before their flight.

      We walked toward some sort of booth table, talking and joking. My daughter-in-law, even though she was incredibly sexy, had a kind of low self-esteem. I tried to make her feel better about herself. So as we sat into the booth, I made some kind of sly comment implying how cute she was.

      This made both of the girls giggle giddily. I had a bad feeling that both of the girls were now sexually attracted to me. I thought I should back off a bit. I didn't want my daughter-in-law to be attracted to me. But, I thought, it wouldn't be so bad if her friend decided she liked me.

      The girls had to leave me now. They may already have been gone. But I at least heard my daughter-in-law telling me, in my head, "You know, they have the ----- (press conference?) going on right before the flight. Everybody's welcome to come to that thing. And we'll be there, too. You should come, so we can see you one last time."

      For some reason I didn't think that was a good idea. I told the girls I'd probably just take a walk around before the launch, instead.

      I was now myself again. I was sitting on the ground or on a concrete floor -- somewhere. A tall, heavy, white man with feathery, black and grey hair, stood by a blackboard at a wall. The wall looked like it was part of some warehouse or unfinished building. There were thin, metal beams running from the floor to some kind of half-ceiling.

      The man was explaining something to me about Judaism. He was making calculations regarding verses in the Torah. He was trying to show that the appropriate method of studying was one passage of the Torah per week. He said that this was all a person could really handle, while keeping a balance on his spirituality.

      I saw a number of -- what I would describe as traffic poles -- like the yellow-painted concrete poles with convex tops. But these poles were comprised of crystal cogs, all stacked up on top of each other.

      The cogs were all different colors. But they were piled up so that cogs of the same color were near each other. One pole, for instance, started with orange at the bottom, worked its way up to a pinkish-red, then into a green, then blue.

      I told the man, "It doesn't make sense to me that people should only study one passage a week. It seems to me like a person could actually study a passage a day and be fine."

      The man was a little shocked that I'd said something like that. I felt like I had kind of insulted either his ideas of religion or his ideas of spiritual balance. I think I felt like I needed him for a teacher. So I had to find a way to apologize to him for having made a comment apparently against one of his major theories.

      We were both standing outside now. The man was up on a sidewalk. I stood on something like asphalt -- maybe in a parking lot? The man was taller than me by his own height and the height of the curb. And we were separated by some kind of railing.

      I decided that the best way to apologize to the man was by showing my knowledge of other religions and concluding with the idea that, compared to his religion, all the other religions I knew about were lacking.

      I had a whole bunch of papers in my hands. It was like I was going to flip through some kind of PowerPoint presentation on the faults of all the other religions I knew about.

      There were some slides regarding some religions on the top of my stack of papers. But I wanted to save those religions for later. I shuffled those to the back of the deck. Now the top slide was about some religion that was somehow based in the teachings of Edgar Cayce. I figured that would be a good place to start.

      I gave the man some explanation about the tenets of this religion (I wish I could remember them now!). I was going to move on to how I thought they were silly, compared to the tenets of his religion.

      But the man interrupted me -- as if he thought I were trying to convince him that this religion was really good. He took the same tack with me, now, that I was trying to take with him. He became really interested in what I had to say about this religion. He wanted to know more.

      I felt a little defeated. I was trying to learn more about the man's religion. But now he wanted me to teach him about mine!

      I stood up onto the curb. The man and I turned to my left and walked down the sidewalk, down a slight slope, to a complex of buildings like a university campus. There seemed to be a decent amount of people walking around down there.

      I was explaining something to the man. But now I was in some kind of limbo space, floating around and discussing things in my head. I was now apparently talking to someone, kind of like the Apollo 11 Command Module Pilot Michael Collins.

      Collins didn't believe in something about psychic phenomena. But I was trying to convince him that psychic phenomena did exist.

      Collins and I were now driving in a car at night. I had gotten onto the topic of psychokinesis. I was trying to make some point about how it was already being used in outer space, and that it wasn't causing any harm.

      To illustrate this, I had a chart in my mind. It was a white background, with an x-arrow and a y-arrow. Both arrows were really bold. The plane made by the coordinates was of either twelve or sixteen rectangles. The rectangles were stood vertically. The grid was four rectangles wide, and either three or four rectangles long.

      In this grid, I drew something like a jagged line bouncing down through the rectangles. This was made to show the minimal damaging effect that psychokinetic powers had in space.

      Somehow, Collins and I faded into some place like a residence area for astronauts who were about to head up into space. We were both inside a room with thin-panelled walls, like the fake wood-panel walls inside a double-wide trailer. The entire floor of the room was covered with mattresses, except the left side of the room, which had a set of bunk beds.

      In the center of the room was some very space-stationy-looking computer area. A pole hung from the ceiling. Suspended from the pole were a big computer system and a seat at which someone sat while using the computers.

      Collins was sitting at the computer station. I was laying on my back, on a mattress, looking up at the back of one of the screens of the system.

      I was shocked to see that the logo of the computer's manufacturer was a circle with a stylized, interlocking P and K. I thought, PK! That's psychokinesis! Is this whole computer part of some psychokinesis project?

      Apparently, though, I had been continuing my argument, because Collins, at some point, told me that I'd won him over. I don't know whether he actually believed in psychokinesis. But he at least seemed to believe that, if it existed, it wouldn't do any harm.

      Somehow, I was now asleep, my back propped up against the back wall of the room. But now another astronaut opened the door of the room.

      Even though my eyes were closed, and I was sleeping, I could see the woman. She was blonde, a little frumpy-looking, with frizzy-curly, long, blonde hair. She was maybe in her late forties. She wore a red sweater and red-plastic-rimmed eyeglasses.

      The woman poked her head in through the doorway and asked Collins, "Do you know anything about debt for the companies ----- (can't remember, ----- (Provate?), and Fluxcil, that you might be able to help me with them?"

      These were biotech companies. Collins said, "No. I don't know."

      But the woman wasn't really asking Collins so Collins could help her. She was hinting to him that they should test me out, on my knowledge. But Collins didn't get the hint. So the woman had to make it a little stronger.

      But the mention of the biotech names got me kind of interested (why? I don't know anything about biotech), and I was already waking up, lifting my dark, heavy eyelids, as the woman said, "Well... do you know anybody who might know about that debt? Like... another astronaut you work with?"

      Collins might have said something like, "Oh. Yeah."

      But I was already too interested in what the woman was talking about to wait. I stood up -- still incredibly groggy! -- and said, "Oh? Debt? I think I can get you some information." I knew I didn't know anything about biotech. But I was already making a plan in my head for how I'd do the research.

      I walked over all the mattresses, toward the doorway. The woman may have said something to me, then asked me, "Do you think fifteen minutes will be enough time for you?"

      I said, "Yeah. I can get you something in fifteen minutes."

      I thought I'd have to use my own computer. But I wondered if my wireless would work all the way from up here on the space station. I thought that the satellite system would be all messed up.

      Then I realized we weren't on the space station yet. It was still the night before we even launched up into space. I thought, of course my computer will work.

      Collins had gotten up from the computer station. He was walking out of the room, to go down the hallway for some kind of meeting with the woman. I walked back toward the back of the room, to pull my computer out of my suitcase (???).

      But I'd forgotten the names of the three companies. I turned around and caught the woman before she walked away. I said, "So the companies are... Probate... ?"

      The woman said, "-----, ----- (Provate?), and Fluxcil. You know Fluxcil. They make -----."

      I felt a little insulted by that. I didn't want the woman to think I was stupid. Of course I knew that Fluxcil made -----. But I was just having trouble keeping the companies' names in my head. My brain was still so groggy!

      The woman left and I walked back toward the back of the room. My suitcase was huge -- maybe waist-high, and as wide as two of me. I knew my computer was in a pocket at the back end of the suitcase.

      As I walked toward the suitcase I was already trying to figure out how to get my information. I knew that I'd start by pulling the most recent financial filings for each company.

      I started wondering if fifteen minutes was enough time. These filings were for biotech companies. They might be huge.

      But I thought that there were two other things I should do if I had enough time left in my fifteen minutes. One thing was to do a debt schedule. But I thought I would probably have to ask the woman if she wanted that before I actually did it.

      I also thought that, to get the most recent debt issuances of the companies, I'd probably also have to go through the most recent press releases for each company.
    4. old landlady; table troubles; haunted shower; missile birthday cake

      by , 12-06-2011 at 03:17 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I may have been flying through a neighborhood like the neighborhood I lived in as a teenager. It was a partly sunny, partly grey day. I landed in a backyard like my great grandmother's backyard.

      I started walking along the side yard, toward the front of the house. My old landlady, Ms. U, was walking up from the front of the house, on my right side.

      Ms. U still looked old, maybe in her late sixties. But she seemed to be in better shape, and to have a slightly smaller frame. She wore dark jeans and a dark green shirt, as if she were out gardening.

      I waved to Ms. U. She reluctantly waved at me. It was like she didn't really want to talk to me. I knew why. It was obvious to her, like it was to me, that I wasn't going to be able to pay my rent soon. She didn't want to talk to me because she was disappointed in me.

      Ms. U was now behind me. She met up with one of her friends. They were both going to walk down to the supermarket together. They were walking behind me. I turned right, as they did, and walked down the sidewalk, to the corner of the block.

      As I walked, I thought that maybe I would be able to pay my rent, after all. Maybe I would get a job. Then Ms. U wouldn't be so disappointed in me. So, if all that was going to happen, and I could believe it, why could't Ms. U? Why did Ms. U have to not talk to me?

      At the same time, I got the feeling that maybe Ms. U wasn't very disappointed in me. Maybe she would talk to me, if I'd just slow down and walk with Ms. U and her friend.

      The sidewalk was gone. But we weren't walking on the lawns of the front yards. We were walking on grass like grass that edges vacant lots. The grass was dry, tan, rough, and clumpy. There was a wooden fence to my right at one point. At another point there was at least one orange traffic cone. I kept feeling like I was going to lose my balance and fall into the road.

      Dream #2

      I was sitting in a restaurant. My table was basically all by itself, in a space that looked like the hallway of a house. It was dark, lit by a dim, blue light, like candlelight in a blue, glass holder. My table was in a little, doorway like niche in the wall. I sat so I faced the restaurant's front door, which was barely visible to me from where I sat.

      I knew that there were a lot more tables in another room. The room was somewhere off to my right, i.e. down the hall, and around to the right through another hall.

      People kept coming by, apparently angry or jealous of me for having this table all to myself. Some of them started trying to do things like leave their stuff on my table.

      One person had a huge, black, wire-cart, like for laundry or groceries. She tried to slide it in between the unused chair of my table and the wall. I stood up and said, "Don't put your stuff in that space!" I moved the cart right out of the way. I may have stuck it in some dark corner just off from the niche I sat in.

      I decided that people were jealous of me because they thought I had this space all to myself. So I tried to make it look like I wasn't alone. I laid my bookbag and my jacket on the opposite seat, like somebody else was sitting there. I then pushed the seat far back, so that nobody would try to sit anything behind it. I also figured I'd act like I was waiting for someone to come back.

      Time passed. I was now being sternly lectured by a Meryl Streep-like business woman in a white blouse and long, beige skirt. The woman demanded to know why I had been away from my seat for so long.

      I vaguely remembered that I had had to go out the front door of the restaurant to help people who were loading something out of a semi-truck's trailer. It had, I remembered, seemed really important for me to have done this. If I had sat here instead of gone out to help, I suspected that this woman would have been yelling at me for that, instead.

      The woman told me, "Don't you know we have an important client coming to visit us today? How long were you runnning around outside? Do you even know? Even if it was just a few minutes, the client could have come inside while you were missing. He could be wandering around lost in the restaurant right now. And we wouldn't even know it!"

      Dream #3

      I woke up. I pulled my blanket off of myself and looked at the upper right corner of my bed. My bedroom light was off, but my hall light was on, and it lit my room a bit. My blankets and sheets were brown.

      There was a fly crawling across the corner of my bed. This kind of disgusted me, as if it were a far worse insect than a fly. I brushed the fly off and started worrying about bugs.

      I stood up and walked down the hallway -- possibly (I'm not sure), because I heard a strange noise coming from my bathroom.

      I got to the bathroom. The lights were on and were really bright. The shower was running, which was odd in itself. But after a moment of focusing, I realized that the shower itself was acting weird. The water was rushing way stronger than usual, and the nozzle seemed to be spraying out in a few different, weird directions.

      I looked closer at the shower pipe. I now saw that it didn't even have a head! No wonder it was spraying all weird. I decided to shut off the shower water and figure out how to solve this problem.

      I turned off the water. But now there was a strange rumbling in the bathroom. The walls seemed to shake. Suddenly the portion of the wall just beside and below the shower pipe began spouting out water through little holes! The force of the water I'd shut off was so strong that it had burst through the wall in little, fountain-like holes!

      I stood back from this and watched it all. I knew that this kind of plumbing problem was much more than I by myself could handle. I'd have to call in my landlord.

      I really didn't want to have to call in my landlord. I knew he was already against me for a number of reasons. I didn't want him wandering through my house, peering aroud like he thought he'd find some sort of incriminating evidence about me. But I knew, regardless of the inconvenience to me, that I'd have to call the landlord.

      But now, suddenly, the wall over the side of my bathub also burst open with little fountains of water! These fountains of water were either bright pink or else left bright pink stains on the wall. The fountains of water were also more like jets -- they blasted in a flat, sideways pattern, along the wall, almost like sheets of water pouring down a sidewalk on a rainy day.

      And then all new things came out of the wall! I thought of these things as leaks and water. But they weren't water: they were steel. They were like surgery or dentistry implements, stainless steel devices, attached to steel cords, like the ringed cords on receivers for payphones.

      Some of these cord may have had robotic, or even white-gloved, hands attached to them, holding the implements. The number of cords, hands, and implements springing out of the wall seemed to be increasing and increasing, cluttering up the whole top of the wall.

      Dream #4

      I was with a couple of men, one of whom may have been my brother. The other man was something like an ex-Marine. He was tall and muscular, slightly tanned, with blue eyes and pale-blonde hair in a buzz cut.

      We were in some kind of suburban area. It was possibly early morning, just before sunrise. We may have started out at a house or a small shop. We were loading things into a truck. These things were either items for security systems on houses, or else they were nuclear bombs.

      We drove in a pickup truck to some place. As we did, I thought about what we were doing. The man may have been talking to me about it as well. I knew we were definitely installing security systems on houses. But we also had nuclear missiles in our truck, and we were definitely concerned, in some way or another, with a slightly touchy situation regarding nuclear deterrence.

      We drove into and through a big parking lot, to a small, one-story building, possibly with white walls and a flat, steel-siding-like, blue roof.

      Somehow I now saw as if I were now twenty or thirty meters behind the truck. Missiles were being pulled out of the back of the truck. There were probably two missiles. I only saw their tail ends. They looked like the tail-end of an X-15 manned rocket, not a missile.

      I now stood just inside the building with the man. There were a few other people about, including a few little, Latino children, apparently. The inside of the building felt completely unused. There were no lights on, though there may have been some dusty office equipment. The front window may also not have had a glass pane in it.

      The man and I were talking (somehow -- telepathically?) about some woman who had had some sort of difficulty in her professional life.

      As we were talking about this, I kept hoping I'd just say the right thing. I felt like the military and government had me under suspicion. My appearance alone, I knew, marked me as suspicious. If I said the wrong thing, I'd be detained for sure.

      I wandered down a front deck and onto the parking lot, toward the Latino children. I was still "speaking" with the military man. The kids were looking at a hole in the parking lot. It was a rectangular hole, about three meters long and two meters wide. It seemed to go down a long way.

      As I looked into the hole, it began to appear as if it held something inside, like a gigantic birthday cake. The cake was covered in frosting that was colored with brilliant swirls of blue, turquoise, green, and white. Tropical fish, either plastic or sugar, also adorned the cake.

      I was now "speaking" to the military man about how the woman we had been discussing was probably suffering from an animus possession. She was letting the male side of herself dominate her personality. It was making her overly aggressive, so that nobody could work with her.

      As I "spoke" of this, it now became my task to scrape frosting off the cake. I was scraping huge, huge globs of solid green, solid blue, and solid white frosting off the cake. Occasionally I'd also scrape off a few fish.

      The scraped-off frosting all went into some deeper part of the pit. It was now like the cake was L-shaped, so that the upper left quadrant (as I faced it) of the rectangle was left free for this deep pit, this extra space for the frosting.

      But I noticed that as I scraped off the frosting, it became kind of mushy and unappealing. It still looked very sweet. But on the cake it had been firm, which would, I assumed, add to the pleasure of the taste. Off the cake it was just sickly sweet and mushy.

      I wondered why the frosting had to be scraped off the cake, anyway. Someone apparently thought there was excess frosting on the cake. But I didn't. I thought the frosting was good, and that there was just enough.
    5. running destiny; pop the transformers; transformer guilt

      by , 11-16-2011 at 02:50 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was out in a park, possibly as part of a school group. We all had to run a mile course around the park. For some reason this seemed like a lot to me.

      We started running on a narrow dirt path. There was a dense row of short trees or tall shrubs, like junipers, to our left. I didn't really see anybody, and I myself felt like I was disembodied and floating over the dirt trail.

      We worked our way up a hill and then turned left, out onto a wide lawn of dry, tan grass. To the right was a residential area. I don't think it was a part of the course, but I ran out there anyway.

      My sister may have been with me. We went up one street, then turned back down it and headed toward the park. We then turned up another street, which curved around to the right a bit.

      Just around the curve we saw a group of "gangsters" standing all the way across the road, blocking the street. The "gangsters" were a group of four or five tall, white boys wearing baggy jeans and t-shirts.

      I knew those guys were nothing but trouble, especially for some guy and girl by themselves. So I turned myself and my sister around. We were walking by this time.

      I was still afraid of the "gangsters" up the block, but I kept walking calmly. I was a little worried about whether my sister (who may also have been like my girlfriend) would think I was a coward for being so afraid.

      As we approached the park, where I saw a few of my classmates (?) milling around after the run, I heard some hip-hop style song that I knew was popular. It was called "Destiny." (I had the melody in my head for a while, but I can't remember it now.)

      I suddenly got really afraid. It was like I'd gotten so close to safety, I didn't want to lose it now by having the "gangsters" catch up with me. So I ran all the way into the park, and even past some small pine tree twenty or thirty meters into the park.

      Dream #2

      Two boys were driving a car on some road through the forest. The boys were both white, smart-looking, with kind of shaggy hairdos. One of the boys may have worn glasses. Some 1970s style song was playing on the car's radio.

      The forest outside looked fake, almost as if it were a slightly grainy or overexposed projection, like for a music video. The view of the forest then changed to a view of fields of some kind of red-purple, thistly flower (which I'm pretty sure I mistakenly thought of as poppies).

      The song also changed. It had previously been acoustic. But now, playing the same tune, it became electric.

      I knew that something bad was going to happen. The music had become too "fateful." And now the car crashed into a tree. I may have thought at first that the boys were dead. But they were now outside the car, standing as if hiding behind it, looking out for some place they could go for refuge.

      The two boys were on the outskirts of a college town. I may have thought it was Oxford. I was now in the scene, possibly as one of the boys or as myself. There was a tall church behind another, shorter building. The church seemed to be made of tan colored stone.

      An old man pointed the church out to us as one of the most famous buildings in this town. I mentioned another church, probably designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. The man sighed in disgust and waved me off. He may have made a comment about how modern architecture isn't any good.

      I was now in some different area, walking away from a different old man and a couple other people, possibly including a woman. The old man made a comment to the woman about how she should be careful, because it was going to rain today.

      I walked down a straight road with flat fields of tall, tan grass (?) on either side of me. I wondered if it really would rain. It was so sunny right now. I didn't see how it could rain.

      But suddenly it started raining. It was a pretty heavy rain, and there were no clouds in the sky. I thought that it would only get worse once the clouds got here. I knew that would be terrible. I had a long way to walk, and no umbrella. I'd be soaking wet when I got home.

      I decided to fly home. I simply levitated myself into the air. I got three or four meters above the ground. Soon after I started flying, it stopped raining.

      But I felt unstable, like I could fall at any minute. To stabilize myself I pulled off my backpack (?). I re-fit it to myself, so that I was now using some bottom flap and belt-like straps as a seat. I now had a a lot more stability.

      I was pretty excited that I was flying "in waking life." But I told myself it was nothing unusual, and that as long as I stayed calm I'd keep flying.

      I flew up toward a pretty thick intersection of power lines. I thought I'd fly over them, as "in the past" I'd always flown under them. It was tough, though, from this distance, to get a steep enough angle where I could fly over the wires.

      Suddenly my sister was with me. I now saw some insulating coils connecting the wires to the poles. My sister, apparently thinking the coils were transformers, cried out, "Pop 'em! Pop 'em!" It was like she thought I could explode transformers with my mind.

      I may have tried to explain to my sister that I wasn't trying to focus on that right now. But suddenly we veered away from the road and the power lines. We went off to the left over a field, but probably near another road.

      I could see that up ahead was an intersection with a few buildings and shops, like a kind of busy rest station out on a long highway. But I was suddenly afraid to get up there. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to see the place once I got there, as if I didn't have enough "imagination" for it.

      I may have tried to remind myself that this was waking life, not a dream. If this was waking life, I wouldn't have to "imagine" that busy rest area. It would just be there.

      But my fear was too much for me. And I landed in the field. My sister and I turned around and walked back toward the road we'd veered off from. There was now a big mountain on the other side of the road. The road itself may have been a little up on the mountain's face.

      Dream #3

      I was in "my family's bathroom" with my sister. My sister was telling me something about how to take a shower. It was pretty inconvenient, because there was something cluttering up the bathtub.

      My sister was now gone, and I was all by myself. But, in the place of a toilet, my sister had left something like a gigantic potty-training seat, which was blocking up a lot of the bathroom. On top of that, there was something like a big head from an almost life sized action figure on the toilet seat.

      I thought something to myself like, Isn't that just like my sister? To leave intruding signs of her presence, even when she isn't here? (My sister is *not* like that IWL.) But I decided not to be bothered by it. I'd just go take a shower.

      But as I was getting into the shower, my mom banged on the door. She said, "I've got some bad stuff on you! Now I know what you've done to those kids!"

      I thought, All my life I've been waiting for my mom to pin some kind of big thing on me. And I always knew it would have something to do with kids. There's nothing she could legitimately blame me for. But I'll find out what she's going to try and pin on me.

      So I left the bathroom. My mom was sitting in the living room with my nephews, who were all little. My mom said, "You bought those kids Transformers for Christmas! You know they can't transform those things. It's just too frustrating for them. Plus, the parts break off! That's too dangerous."

      My mom was playing with a little, yellow Transformer, about the color of a Caterpillar tractor. The Transformer had a little button on its chest.

      I agreed with my mom that I'd made a bad choice in toys for my nephews. But I couldn't see how that would make me a bad person.

      I looked up or over to a long set of drawers. On top of the drawers there stood a big toy. It was green and plastic, and it looked like a weird mix between a Venus Fly-Trap and a crane. The claw-scoop of the crane was connected to the rest of the toy by a black, elastic string.

      The claw-scoop was closed, but I saw out of the top of it some pieces of what looked like a gigantic version of the Transformer Optimus Prime. Put together, I guessed, this Optimus Prime toy must have been almost a meter tall!

      I got the idea that you could break apart the Optimus Prime toy. Then you could make the crane pick up the broken pieces. But -- somehow -- when the claw-scoop opened, it would actually move all the pieces together in such a way that the toy would be reconstructed.
    6. spaceship runway; touching girl's hand

      by , 10-05-2011 at 12:42 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was out on some road that appeared to be on a building top. I may have been standing outside at first. But, at least eventually, I was inside a vehicle, possibly a van. I was with some man and someone like my mom. The day was really sunny, maybe hot.

      I saw an airplane flying up through the air, just after it had lifted off. But the back end of the airplane was shaped just like the back end of a space shuttle. The whole airplane may have been white and red, with a shiny, plasticky look.

      I got kind of freaked out because the airplane had had the back end of a space shuttle. I thought the craft should be lifting up into the air much faster if it were a shuttle. I got the eerie feeling that it would start lifting quickly up into the air very soon. But something about the fact that it kept not lifting up into the air had me really panicked.

      One of the people with me, probably the man, may have tried to convince me that the craft weren't actually a shuttle, and that its back end didn't actually look like that of a shuttle.

      I looked over the building we were on. There was a space shuttle posed in front of the building, on some kind of metal-frame, like a statue. I tried to compare the craft in the air and the shuttle on the ground.

      I must have been satisfied. We started driving away from the scene. I felt afraid to look back at the craft in the air. We passed some large passenger plane that looked normal. It gave me a huge sense of the relief, as if the craft in the air were normal.

      We were now driving around on some tarmac, possibly at the foot of the building we had been on. We drove past one experimental plane. I knew about this whole place, and I knew about these experimental planes. I told the man about this plane. The man may now have been someone like my mom's old boyfriend.

      We drove past another experimental plane. This one was all clear, like it was just a thin, metal skeleton covered over with the clear material that makes the walls of a greenhouse.

      The plane was kind of needle-shaped, with something about it reminiscent of the Blackbird. It also had something to its design very much like the grid pattern underlying some computer animations. The plane also had a logo on its side saying "Scoop Technologies."

      I told the man something about this plane as well, like I was a little kid showing off how smart I was to an adult man. We then passed another plane which may have been much, much larger than the clear craft. We then passed another experimental craft, which I may also have explained to the man.

      Dream #2

      I was in some building, on the second floor, laying on my stomach on the floor, staring out a window-wall. Below was some kind of small courtyard, floored with stone tiles, edged around with little gardens and trees, with some leafs blowing across the tiles.

      Two girls were down in the courtyard area. They may have been in their early teens. They were both dressed in costumes. The costumes were like older European dresses, like from the Elizabethan era or a bit later than that. But the colors of the costumes were very bright, like Sailor Moon uniforms.

      One of the girls saw me looking down at them. She ran up to the building, jumped all the way up to the window, and tapped her hand against the glass. The girl apparently liked me, and she was trying to let me know.

      The girl was now back on the ground with her friend. The two girls spoke with each other for a moment. I couldn't believe the girl had managed to jump high enough to tap the window. I wanted her to do it again. But I also wanted her to do it again so I could make sure she liked me.

      I tapped on the glass and waved the girl back to me. The girl came wandering back up to the building. The other girl warned the girl not to jump up to the window, since she'd get hurt really bad if she slipped and fell.

      This time she didn't jump up to the window. She climbed up something like a thin, metal drain-pipe that had little pieces of metal like ladder-rungs running up it. The wall was red stone (so red it almost looked painted), and the drain-pipe and "ladder-rungs" were the same color.

      The girl got up to the window and touched my hand.

      Now the girl was down on the ground with her friend, a ways away from the building. The girl stood near a waist-high, silvery metal column. The girl lifted up her skirt and draped it over this column. She then kind of leaned over the column, so her torso was parallel with the ground.

      I was now sitting somewhere, possibly on the roof of a building, with two women. We had a bunch of stuff with us like we were taking a trip to the beach. I sat on the floor, on a towel. There were a few other big beach towels all around me. On either side of me there were long beach chairs and tall parasols.

      One of the women was my friend H's friend Y. Y sat on the edge of one of the beach chairs. Y was telling the other woman, in a different language, how she liked me, but how it seemed like all I ever did was study and think about intellectual things. Y wondered if I could possibly like her at all.

      I spoke to Y in English, not letting on that I'd understood everything she'd just said in the foreign language, but letting her know that I was interested in her. But I then got worried about showing her any more of my feelings. H was coming back soon. And H liked me. She couldn't think I liked Y.
    7. muppet funeral; mcdonald's roofs; co-workers and dallas stars; talking, complaining, flying

      by , 08-28-2011 at 01:07 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      There were a number of views of some place, possibly "Virginia." The views were like pans across landscapes. Some of the views may have been still. Others were in motion. The views were possibly supposed to show some kind of unique situation regarding "Virginia." I was frustrated because I never saw any evidence of this unique situation.

      There may have been one pan across a residential neighborhood. All the houses were tightly packed together on the blocks, and the area was all set on a series of rolling hills. The colors in this photo may have been almost washed out, close to sepia tone.

      The rest of the views all took place in some area that seemed like a city park, even though I also got the impression that it was supposed to be a beach. There was a huge lawn, pretty much flat, dotted pretty closely with thin-trunked, tall trees. At the edge of this park there may actually have been a beach.

      One view in this park was of masses of people, packed all close together, lying out on their stomachs, as if they were all out on the beach, getting suntans.

      Another view was of masses of birds, packed together (like the last shot in Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds). The view, I understood, was supposed to be of all kinds of exotic birds. But there were very few exotic birds. Right out, I only recognized one parrot. Most of the birds were ducks, seagulls, and pigeons, some of which were deformed or ugly.

      It may have been at this point that I became frustrated with this "program." I was supposed to be seeing something unusual in these images -- specifically something unusual that had happened to alter the area. But these were all "normal" images.

      The view changed to a view of a crowd of people, still pretty dense, but not packed all together, out on the beach. Among the crowds I saw the head of a big muppet, red, like Animal, walking along. The muppet must have been two meters tall. But it looked like Animal. I then saw a big, blue muppet. Then it seemed like there were a number of muppets in the crowd.

      Now, off to the right, in a space of the park empty of people, there came a muppet funeral procession. The procession was very long. At the head of the procession there was something like a float.

      The float was like a flat-bed wagon. On top were images of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. The images were laying down. They were probably around two meters long, as well. Kermit was wearing a groom's tuxedo, and Miss Piggy was wearing a bride's gown. But both Kermit and Piggy were dead. This was their funeral procession.

      Dream #2

      I was in a car with my family. I may have been preparing to leave after a visit to my home town. On the way to wherever I was going to be dropped off, we passed a few different McDonald's restaurants. As we passed the restaurants, I had to quickly make an assessment of the roofs.

      My brother complained, asking me why we had to do this. He thought it had something to do with me criticizing him or keeping an eye on him, to stop him from doing bad things, as if I thought he was doing bad things.

      I tried to explain to my brother that my job was to inspect roofs. McDonald's just had a lot of new roofs put onto all their buildings. So I had to inspect them. And my mom had agreed that we could drive past all the McDonald's on my way to being dropped off.

      We passed another McDonald's. I don't know how I saw the roof. But one-third of the roof seemed to be missing. I remarked to myself about something regarding a special compartment being put into the roof.

      We passed another McDonald's by going along a road or a stretch of asphalt that ran along the outside perimeter of the back end of the lot around the restaurant. The asphalt of the road was continuous with the asphalt of the lot, connected by a steep, asphalt ramp. The road put our view just over the roof.

      We then drove along some road and up a steep hill in something like a residential neighborhood, although something about it all felt a bit artificial. My mom began discussing some new movie that was out. Its main characters were a few old people.

      We all started talking about "old people movies," and whether they were good or bad. My mom was angry at me for some reason, and she'd sensed that I liked movies with old people in them. So she said, "Old people movies are made for old people. And if you aren't old, they aren't any good. They're just boring."

      We reached the top of the sharp hill up which we'd been driving, and we'd woven our way into some kind of stone maze. My mom now drove up and around a curving road, up to the foot of a huge, stone staircase with a stone gate. Some distance up the stone staircase I saw some bright, yellow image. It may have been a person wearing a bright, yellow robe.

      My mom now mellowed down a bit. She said, "Well, old people movies aren't all that bad. There are a couple that I like. And if you go to any old people movie with (my grandma) J, they'll always be interesting. Because she always has something interesting to say about them."

      I now had to get out of the car and go up the stairs. I may have opened the back, passenger-side car door. I may have said some kind words to my family, maybe even hugging and kissing one or more of them.

      Dream #3

      I was leaving a building, probably after some kind of event or some kind of task I'd had to take care of. The building was kind of like a multi-floor school building. But it also felt very classy.

      I was on a high floor. I was walking down a staircase to get to the exit. The staircase was wide. It doubled-back at each half-floor and opened out at each floor.

      At some point I realized there was a guy following me. He was maybe half a floor up from me, but he kept that distance. Eventually I slowed down my walking. I figured that I would slow down until he caught up with me.

      But as I was making this decision, I was already approaching the ground floor. Instead of hearing the guy, I now heard JF, one of my old co-workers. She may have been talking to JS, another one of my old co-workers.

      I was now on the ground floor, passing through a big area and walking toward the front door. JF and JS now caught up to me. I could tell by the tone in their voice that they wanted me to include myself in their conversation. So I turned around to get a better view of JF and focus on what she was talking about.

      At this point I was past the first door out of the building. There was a small foyer and then another set of doors. At the final set of doors I turned around. JF was just coming through the first doors, still talking with JS.

      I may have walked all the way out of the building. But then I may have turned around right as JF was coming through the second doors. But now it was like I was behind her. I don't know where JS was -- perhaps she was outside.

      JF started talking about the TV show Dallas. She asked about some key characters. I somehow mentioned Victoria Principal and Peter Duffy. I knew this satisfied one question JF had and made me look like I knew about the TV show.

      I was actually back in the building, walking back toward the staircase. I realized I'd said the name "Peter Duffy." I called back to JF that I'd meant to say "Patrick Duffy." Apparently JF was writing all this stuff down on a clipboard. I also mentioned the name "Ron Hagerty."

      Drream #4

      I was in a library, sitting at a table and reading. There were no lights on in the library. The only light coming into the place was from the windows all along the walls. But the light was very dim. It felt like it was early morning. My eyes also felt scratchy -- kind of like they feel when I "wake" into a lucid dream, although I wasn't lucid.

      I was apparently on the phone with my mother. I was explaining something very important about my life. I was talking rather loud. And although I was holding onto the phone, I don't think I ever actually held it to my ear.

      I eventually put the phone down -- either under the table and on my lap or else under or beside a book on the table top. I didn't stop talking. Instead, the "scene" with the conversation faded into the exact same "scene," except that I was no longer talking.

      There was a woman, maybe in her twenties or thirties, seated in front of me. A man, maybe around the same age, sat to my right. The woman and the man both asked me if, next time I came to the library, I could please refrain from talking to myself so loudly. I think the woman had asked first, and that the man asked the same thing again.

      I was surprised. I asked, "I was talking to myself?" The woman said yes. I couldn't quite believe it. I thought I'd been on the phone with my mother! I wondered if I was going crazy. Suddenly I couldn't remember very much about the conversation at all. I wondered what I'd actually been doing and saying!

      The man repeated that I'd been just sitting in the chair, looking forward, and having a conversation with myself. He said it was really annoying and asked me if I could try never to do it again.

      I was now "downstairs." The downstairs area was actually like some kind of indoor version of a small amusement park like Coney Island. All the booths around me had some kind of pale-turquoise or sea-blue color-schemes. Everything was very clean. Nothing was operating. It was all quiet.

      I stood over some table, leafing through a thick file in a three-ring binder. A co-worker from an old job of mine, JM, came up to me. He looked very young, even thinner than usual, and kind of pale, with facial features a bit smaller and tighter than IWL. He wore a blue dress shirt and, possibly, grey dress slacks.

      JM asked me how I was doing and what I thought of my new job. I didn't tell him that I'd quit my job after having a fight with my boss. I just told him that things were okay, although they could probably be a lot better, and that I hoped I could eventually find a place where things were good.

      I seemed to be walking away from JM now, and deeper into this subterranean amusement park. But for some reason I didn't feel like what I'd told JM was enough. If he ever found out that I'd quit my job, he'd think the reasons I gave weren't sufficient, and that I'd been weak to quit.

      So I ran back to JM and told him, "Look, I really hate my boss. I didn't want to tell you this. But he's a complete jerk, and he does all kinds of stupid things. I really don't think I can take it for too much longer. I seriously hate him."

      JM looked a bit surprised by what I said. He walked away. He was going off to talk with some other people. He wasn't necessarily in the amusement park anymore, although I still saw him there.

      I was nervous about JM talking with people. But I was also kind of happy about it. I jumped up in the air, as if to get away from the situation of having to worry about what JM would say or think about me.

      I was floating a meter or so in the air, and descending slowly. I realized that as long as I jumped quickly enough, so that I didn't lose the floating height I'd gained, I could keep increasing my height.

      I really wanted to get away from the situation I was in, so I kept jumping and jumping. Eventually I had gone far above the amusement park. I was floating into the blackness. I couldn't see anything around me.

      I'd changed my flying motion from "jumping" to "swimming." I was now swimming through the air. Some sort of realization came to me. I couldn't really, physically, be flying. So I thought I was having some sort of out-of-body experience.

      I didn't get overexcited about the supposed OBE. But I kind of began to doubt that I could be having that, either.

      I had a false awakening. I was in a bed that wasn't mine. I lay face down. I felt like I was making swimming motions. I told myself, See? You only thought your astral body was flying by making swimming motions. Really, it was all just a dream, and you were lying here in bed, making swimming motions with your physical body.

      But I still felt myself making swimming motions. I looked down at my body and saw it wasn't moving at all. And, yet, I saw a second body, like a ghost body, still making the swimming motions. I faded back to blackness, thinking, Well, I guess some part of me was swim-flying somewhere. And it wasn't my physical body.

      I may have had the idea that I'd "flown up" into my body from the space I'd been in in my dream, and that, on joining my body, I'd woken. I may have thought that if I fell back to sleep, my "astral" body would sink back down through my bed and continue its swim-flying activity. I may actually have felt my body sink back down below my bed as I fell back to sleep.
    8. closet boxes; museum store; surveillance walls

      by , 06-23-2011 at 11:42 AM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I stood before my closet hallway. There were a lot of boxes in there. I had a lightbulb box in my hand. It was empty, so I figured I'd just throw it out to make space.

      There were some other boxes in there, possibly including a box for diapers. I threw them out, too. Suddenly I had only one box in my closet. It was the only box that had anything in it. It was white cardboard.

      I thought I could start stacking stuff up on this box. But I was a little afraid to. The box looked a little dirty, like it had bugs crawling on it. I didn't want to put more stuff on this box and get everything else all buggy.

      Dream #2

      I was in the gift shop for a museum. The man there basically owned and ran the gift shop. The gift shop was closing down, and a lot of its shelves were empty. I remember one particular wall of light-beige wood shelves that were completely empty. The walls behind the shelves were grey, like a dark concrete or cinder.

      The owner came up and smiled at me. He was white, bald, with a grey-white mustache and a kind of friendly look. He also seemed to be a little bit muscular. He spoke to me in some friendly way about some of the discounts he had throughout the store.

      I was now alone in the store. I somehow heard my boss talking with a woman, or possibly with a woman and a man. I had apparently left my job for good. This had been somehwat planned. But now my boss was being urged to get me back. My boss was told that I should try to be tricked into believing that I was actually obliged to stay on for two more weeks.

      As I heard this stuff, I had kind of been floating around on my back throughout the store. I had floated up high for a little while. But now I was floating at about the level of the checkout counter.

      I looked at the green, digital numbers on the display of the tan, plastic cash register. They said "4-17." I knew that meant that today was April 17th. This was, I thought, about two weeks before I was scheduled to leave work. But I really didn't want to have to go back to my office, and I was trying to think whether this story these people would be feeding me about how I needed to go back was actually true.

      Dream #3

      I woke up. The lights were on in my room. My eyes were really blurry. But, I knew, because of my half-sleeping condition, I could see things that I normally wouldn't see.

      I looked at my walls. There were black spots all around the room, at about waist height. The spots were set in pairs, and the pairs were spaced with about one meter intervals. The pairs of spots were set so that two spots were right next to each other, one set up a little diagonally to the other. The black spots were little spy cameras.

      Up near the top of the wall were much more widely spaced, much bigger devices, which may have been colored like rusty metal. They looked like small versions of the horns for old phonographs.

      I knew people were spying on me by using all this stuff. But I didn't know who was spying on me. There was suddenly a high-pitched ringing in my ears. It got more and more intense.
    9. baby for another family

      by , 05-01-2011 at 02:10 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a different family's house. I had been there for at least one day. I made some kind of agreement with the parents. After this I either left the house or fell asleep and made an out-of-body flight out of the house.

      I either drove or floated around the family's neighborhood. I thought about the deal we had made, and some kind of arrangements I would have to make. The sun eventually came up, and, as it was pretty bright, I floated back toward the family's house.

      The neighborhood looked nice, like some kind of upper class neighborhood in California, with white houses and palm trees, set, apparently, among rolling hills. I basically floated right into the house, right through a front wall, on the ground floor.

      The set up was a living room, then something like a half-room/half-hallway, then a big kitchen, then another room like a second living room in the back of the floor, and a few other rooms off to the left of that. Everything was lit with a kind of dim, blue-grey light, as if the bright early morning light were coming in through heavy, blue-grey curtains.

      I floated through the living room. I eventually touched down and began walking. When I walked into the kitchen, I saw the mom of the family. She was the only person up. She sat at the kitchen table, preparing something, possibly something for a baby.

      The kitchen table, along with the rest of the kitchen, seemed to be cluttered with household items, but not dirty.

      I was wearing a thin, powder-blue babydoll-skirt with tiny, puffy sleeves. I wasn't wearing any underwear, and I seemed to be at a pre-pubescent stage of sexual development. I don't actually know whether I was myself or some pretty-looking boy.

      Apparently I had made some kind of deal, either with only with the mom or with the mom and the dad, that I would dress up and act like a baby girl for them.

      Something had happened to the daughter. It was like the daughter was a product, like a doll that had broken. They needed to make up for this by using me as a baby-substitute. I can't remember the details, but it reminds me of TV shows when a puppy dies and the parents try to buy a new puppy to trick the kids into thinking the puppy is still alive.

      I didn't need to act like a little girl yet, because everybody was still asleep. Plus, there was apparently some specific event that I was acting for, and it wasn't until later in the morning. So I was about to go put on some regular boy underwear.

      But as I walked into one of the rooms off to the left of the kitchen, I decided that I wanted to wear diapers and crawl around and act like a baby around the mom. So I crept shyly back into the kitchen and stood right next to the mom. I asked if it would be alright if I put on some diapers right now. She seemed indifferent and said that would be fine.

      I walked through a left door in the kitchen. I was going to go around through the left room and then back to the back living room, instead of straight into the back living room through the back doorway in the kitchen. The diapers were in a cluttered pile of household items in the back living room, possibly near a fireplace.

      At this point in time I may also have been sucking on a pacifier. I may also have looked a lot more like a little girl than a man or a little boy. It was now also like the baby girl I was "replacing" was still around and perfectly fine.

      I thought, The little girl still has to use the diapers. The mom is indulging me by letting me wear more than I need for the time that the family needs me. It's really just wasting diapers. It's doing a disservice to the little girl, because she needs the diapers and I don't. And isn't it gross that I want to wear diapers before the event? If I'm so eager to jump into diapers right now, doesn't that prove I really like wearing diapers?

      (Side note: Sorry for the hentai character of my dreams sometimes. I'm not trying to gross anybody out.

      As for the not-so-hentai parts of my dreams, I think the family and California neighborhood themes come from my trip to the Paley Center, or the Museum of Television and Radio, yesterday.

      This is a museum where you can watch all kinds of old TV shows, commercials, etc. It's kind of like a mix between YouTube and a library. They also have a movie theatre where they run a specific set of TV programs all day long.

      So yesterday the movie theatre was showing the program An American Family, which was made in 1971 and is kind of recognized as the first "reality show." The family in that show lived in California.

      Even though the family was pretty dysfunctional, I kept wondering what it would be like to be a part of the family, in a positive way. I mean, they seemed pretty dysfunctional, but pretty glamorous, too.

      Anyway, then I watched some TV programs on my own. One of the programs I watched was a Nova special about UFOs. It was made in the 1990s, and one part of it involved an interview with a family in Miami whose children were apparently visited by aliens on a nightly basis. There were a little boy and an infant girl.

      But what reallly struck me about this family was how white their house was. The wall were blank, white, so bright. The carpet was white, the couch was white, everything was white! It was so unreal -- I thought I'd only see a setting like that in a movie or a dream. I think the family's house in my dream was a reaction against the purity of that house.

      Updated 05-01-2011 at 02:26 PM by 37466 (Added side notes)

    10. office in a kmart; flying in the dark

      by , 04-13-2011 at 11:46 AM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was at "my office," which was basically two cubicles set in one of the product islands at a discounter store like a Kmart or a Wal-Mart. I sat in the left cubicle. My co-worker S sat in the right cubicle. There was an aisle for a walkway between us.

      I had been doing some kind of work, but now I stood up from my cubicle and walked into the main part of the store. I had probably been thinking about my bad handwriting.

      I looked in the distance. Hanging on the wall or hanging from the ceiling were two signs, as big as the signs that might usually advertise products, like in a Target. The signs may just have materialized as I watched them. They mimicked my handwriting, making two whole pages out of little scrawls. The two pages seemed to be slightly curled and almost touching each other back-to-back.

      I thought that described my handwriting really well. I was now walking back toward the cubicles. I walked past some sort of exchange counter, which was just a smallish, fake wood counter which may possibly have stood before a dressing room. A kind of big-framed, kind of muscly woman with very short hair stood before the counter. She wore a white tank top and blue jeans.

      The woman was trying to exchange something that looked like a classical statue of a chest and head of a man. The sculpture was in some kind of grey, slatey material. The back of the sculpture was completely flat. It hadn't had any features carved into it, but there were all kinds of apparently accidental scratches made in it.

      As I headed back to my desk, my co-worker CB, a peer to my boss, walked up behind me. He had completely shaved his head, and he looked a little more tan than before. He wore a green shirt with white woven in, so that it looked like it was inside-out, and some blue jeans.

      I was afraid that CB hated me. I also knew that my boss wasn't around, so I figured CB would try to make trouble. So I tried to hurry and sit down at my desk. But, for some reason, CB kissed me on the head. He said something nice to me. He may have asked me to help him with some issue he was having with a project. I was relieved that he didn't hate me.

      (Although in waking life I don't think I'd appreciate it if he kissed me on the head.)

      Dream #2

      I was in a dark hallway that was made of big, stone blocks. The hallway was tall, somewhat wide, and almost completely dark. I was apparently taking a break from studying.

      Just for fun, apparently, I decided to bounce upwards off the walls. I bounced from wall to wall, bringing myself higher and higher. I was finally almost to the ceiling. At this point my body was horizontal, as if I were floating and laying on my left side.

      I thought I should probably get back to studying. But I figured that what I was doing now was also educational, as well as fun. So why not keep doing it? I decided that since I was basically floating, I might as well fly through the hallway.

      I flew through the hallway and into some dark room that was kind of like some classical study in a mansion and a messy, suburban living room. My mom may have been sleeping on the couch.

      There was a sliding glass door at the back of the room. It had a thin, light brown curtain on it. As I flew toward the door, I thought, I can only fly in my dreams. I thought, Well, I don't think I'm dreaming, even though I'm flying. But I thought, Well, if I'm dreaming, I should be able to go straight through the closed glass door. I should try.

      So I flew at the door. I may have felt myself pushing through the curtain and the glass. I may have thought, Well, I guess I am dreaming.
    11. reticent boss and outdoor cafe; girls at cafe

      by , 04-07-2011 at 11:45 AM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was at my office, sitting in my cubicle. My boss came up from behind me on my left side and asked me whether I had finished some work for him.

      Apparently I was looking at some kind of online newspaper which had a photo on it depicting the Acts of the Apostles. My boss had wanted me to do some research on that book in the Bible, apparently.

      I probably had not read the Acts of the Apostles. I might not even have quite understood what he'd wanted me to do. But he was disappointed in me. He kind of smirked at me and went into his office.

      I kind of thought everything through and realized that my boss actually hadn't told me anything he'd wanted me to do. Why should he act mad at me? So I decided to go to his office and tell him that.

      I went to my boss' office just as he was about to leave for some business trip. There was a short, pale man with pale blonde hair standing before my boss' office. The man was interviewing as a replacement for me. He was in a suit and he carried a briefcase. He wore glasses.

      My boss had walked to the printer and was now walking toward and then past his office. I followed him all the way. We both seemed to have ignored the guy being interviewed.

      I kept yelling at my boss, trying to get him to pay attention to me. But he just gave me this stone face, with eyes belying the fact that he was having a lot of fun watching me be so upset. We actually got into an elevator and went down to the first floor.

      I yelled at my boss that if he wanted me to do something, he needed to tell me to do it instead of just assuming I could read his mind. He couldn't get mad at me for the fact that he never spoke to me.

      The elevator doors opened. My boss walked out, still completely disregarding me. We were walking through an unfamiliar, but kind of nice, elevator bank. I got right in front of my boss and flipped him off, right to his face, right in front of his eyes. For some reason, the image reminded me of candle images reflected in eyeglasses.

      My boss kept smirking and ignoring me. I thought, Geez! The only time I do something like this is when I'm drunk!

      My boss was gone, and I was back in the elevator. As the elevator doors opened, I thought how it might be nice to do something like break my boss' leg. I had an image in my head of somebody's lower leg being broken.

      I walked out of the elevator and into what was apparently an outdoor cafe. It was a blue night. There were tables everywhere. There was a makeshift barista counter at the back end. That was the only thing lit. Everything else was dark.

      I saw some of my friends from college. They were talking and laughing about something like anime or j-pop. For some reason, I flew up into the air. As I did, I heard my friend B talking about a specific song.

      I flew sharply up into the air and then turned and flew sharply back downward. I heard B singing a song. At first I didn't think he was singing the actual words. I thought he was just joking. But then I realized he was singing the actual Japanese words. I was pretty impressed!

      I kept flying around. I flew at a level not too far above all the people in the cafe. I may just have been floating around, listening to everybody's conversations and having my own thoughts.

      Dream #2

      I was in a cafe I go to a lot, sitting on a couch. A pretty, blonde girl sat on the couch, at the other end. She may have seemed to be a little attracted to me. But I didn't worry about it, and I just did my own thing.

      Then a pretty, black girl sat at a table near the couch. She seemed to want to sit on the couch. There was one more space left open, so I tried to make it clear with my body language that she could sit there.

      The black girl sat on the couch. I noticed her knee-length skirt was really pretty. It was a nice shade of yellow, with some kind of quaint, pink embroidery on the lower right corner.

      The girl moved all the way over to the blonde girl's part of the couch. The two shifted around so that they were resting their backs agaist the armrest of the couch. They stretched out their legs and began snuggling a bit. It was almost like they were in bed together.

      The two girls started talking about something, some class or something. The blonde girl, sitting on the outer side, dropped a big textbook onto the floor. I somehow realized that the girls had wanted me to think they were both alone, so I'd try to pick one of them up, and then they'd reveal they were actually together to taunt me. But I hadn't tried to pick either of them up, so I wasn't really worried about it.
    12. construction project; poor neighborhoods; shaving instructions

      by , 04-06-2011 at 11:40 AM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was walking through some park with my mother. It was daytime, and the sunlight was kind of pale. My mom and I were walking along some kind of concrete walkway and up a slight slope. At the top of the slope and off a little to the left, my old friend D sat on a concrete staircase.

      My friend D wore a brown, button-up shirt, not tucked in, and light brown, casual pants. His hair was a little long and paler than usual. D looked depressed. When I first saw him, I wondered how I might be able to avoid him. But when I saw how depressed he looked, I figured I should talk to him.

      D told us that he knew I hadn't wanted to talk to him. He was only here at the same time as I out of coincidence. He was actually with some group of people working on some kind of volunteer project. D was actually on a break at the moment.

      D took me to where the volunteers were. The project was all about pouring concrete for something I may have thought of as an ice skating rink. D showed me that first, people lay down wooden shipping pallettes, so that the slats of each pallette made some kind of checkerboard pattern. Then concrete was poured over the pallettes. The pallettes were supposed to hold the concrete in place.

      But I realized that the concrete was supposed to go much higher than that. I asked D how the rest of the concrete was supposed to stay in place. D said that other pallettes were added to the first layer of pallettes, stacked one on the other. But the checkerboard pattern was alternated.

      At some point, D may have tried to illustrated what he'd meant. But he may have been required to "go outside" with us, as if the construction project had been inside the whole time. He may have taken me and my mom outside. Then he may have asked more personal questions about our friendship, which I felt bad about.

      Dream #2

      Some kind of documentary about poor neighborhoods. The neighborhoods looked really torn down and destroyed. For some reason I felt bad about not living in these ruined neighborhoods myself.

      I was now flying through some neighborhood that looked like the neighborhood where my family had lived while I was in high school. It felt empty and desolate. It was daytime, and it may have been winter. I feel like there was snow everywhere.

      I flew over a lot of backyards. All the backyards were strewn with junk. I finally came to my family's old backyard. I landed on the top of a wooden fence and looked into the yard. This backyard was filled with somethink that looked like old cloths or tarps. The tarps appeared to have been frozen by the cold.

      Dream #3

      I had bought a new razor. There had been a lot of talk about my razor with a few friends of mine who work in the deli in my office building. I kept shaving and looking at my razor and the other razors I could have bought, as if the bathroom I was shaving in was somehow mixed with the store I'd bought the razors from.

      At some point, one of the deli workers slapped me on the back in a friendly way and told me to shave in an upward direction. He then said something about how I was going to have a good shave. That was apparently the same thing as saying I was a good guy.

      I was apparently shaving off my mustache. I wondered if that was a good idea.
    13. grocery store kids; bon appetit, Marilyn Monroe; lost and lucid

      by , 03-11-2011 at 12:46 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a huge grocery store. At some point I was in the produce section. A boy and girl and possibly one more child, all siblings, stood at some stand displaying apples or some other kind of fruit. One of the children may have been writing on a piece of paper that was resting on the apples.

      Dream #2

      I was in a dim room that was full of people. The place was like a club mixed with a museum. I sat on a really low chair or sofa made of red leather.

      A bunch of little kids would come up and sit with me. They didn't know me. They just thought I was interesting. I was kind of flattered. A few of the kids were Asian. Their dad was nearby, looking at paintings and talking to people. One of the Asian kids looked like an old person. He had longish hair, but he was balding on top.

      I and one little boy were now watching what was supposed to be Gentlemen Prefer Blondes on a video screen in the floor. The screen was about the size of a small TV screen.

      In one scene, Marilyn Monroe walks into a fountain at night. She was apparently naked, and she apparently said "bon appetit," though I did't hear or see any of this. The boy asked me what bon appetit means.

      I tried to explain to the boy that it didn't mean anything bad. The scene now replayed itself. I thought, there's no way Marilyn Monroe was naked in this movie. They wouldn't have allowed it!

      Marilyn now walked into the fountain, which was an enormous pool of water at the foot of a staircase before a huge building. She was wearing a thin, body-length dress. The soaked dress became kind of, but not extremely, see-through.

      Marilyn now swam up to the camera, which was positioned at the side of the huge fountain, and said "bon appetit."

      Now all kinds of weird blue and green digital drawings blotted onto the screen like crude versions of fireworks.

      Dream #3

      I was walking home at night. But somehow I had lost my way. I was walking through some kind of suburban neighborhood. I would turn down streets and think I was finally in the right place. But then I'd see I was still in the wrong place.

      At one point I got to a streetcorner which looked exactly like a streetcorner near my house. But it was completely empty, and the buildings were all shut down and featureless, maybe even windowless. I wondered what had happened to my neighborhood. But I suddenly realized this wasn't my neighborhood. The buildings I was looking at were part of some huge hospital.

      I turned around and walked another way. I was now in the parking lot of some area like a church. I felt like I might not even have been in the right borough. I turned to walk out of the parking lot. I grabbed my phone, which was my old phone, to try to get an idea of where I was.

      I wondered how I'd gotten so lost. It didn't seem possible. I thought, Maybe I'm dreaming. I didn't think it was possible, but I tested myself anyway. I jumped up into the air to see if I could fly. I began floating a little bit. So I was dreaming.

      I couldn't control my flight. I was floating backwards. I managed to get floating forward, about 3m off the ground. I was coasting through some suburban neighborhood. I still didn't know where I was. I told myself, You can't see where you are because it's dark. If this is your dream, then make it light.

      So I made it light outside. But the world suddenly got very blurry.

      I was now floating down toward something. I thought I had woken from my dream. I floated past one of my co-workers, C, who was giving some self-important lecture about something.

      I was down in the frozen food section of some grocery store. I was looking at some children's picture book or some piece of paper on which I'd scrawled some stuff. I was still thinking to myself what a disappointment it was that I'd woken from my lucid dream.
    14. aliens and car identities

      by , 02-27-2011 at 02:59 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in an alien spacecraft. The interior of the craft was very nice. It had molded, rounded walls colored cream-white and eggshell-brown. The room was round, with a round, central column, which may have served as some kind of control center.

      There may have been a window somewhere, which I may have been looking out of at some point. We were probably at some high elevation, though still in the atmosphere of whatever planet we were on, probably Earth.

      I was remembering some conversation or having some conversation in my head. It had something to do with aliens. There was some kind of idea that aliens were taking or duplicating people's identities or else using people for their identities in order to do something.

      Something about the whole argument which had been made to me regarding the aliens didn't make sense. I tried to express the idea.

      I now saw a room of cars -- kind of like one of the prize-display stages for the TV game show The Price Is Right. There were three cars of different sizes and quality. I was making an argument using cars as a metaphor for identities. I was trying to make a point that aliens wouldn't use human bodies for identities, since they'd easily be able to a lot more with their own, much more advanced, bodies.

      But I also seemed to be trying to make some argument that aliens were actually using cars' identities in some way, instead of using people's identities. Some cars weren't cars. They were actually aliens disguised as cars.

      At this point, the interior of the alien spacecraft, instead of being all smooth walls, had a number of rooms like the room with the cars in it. I don't know if all the rooms had cars in them.

      (Side notes: Yesterday I went to the Museum of Modern Art and watched documentaries for -- well, from 1:30 PM until 10 PM.

      One showing had two documentaries: one about the history of General Motors destroying the trolley car industry so it could artificially create demand for cars in the United States; the other about General Electric's nuclear weapons business and the effects it had on an upstate New York town.

      The General Motors documentary struck me deeply because, growing up as a suburbanite in America, a car was just a thing I had to have once I became 16. It was part of my identity. But, in addition, I feel very strongly that I identify with cars in my dreams. Cars stand for my identity in my dreams.

      But -- if you look at Bruno Bettelheim's book The Empty Fortress, for example, the autistic children identify with cars or identify cars as beings that can care for them and nurture them as children.

      So, it seems like, despite the demand for cars being pretty nefariously and artificially created by a small group of rich men, cars also came to stand, rather quickly, for human identity.

      The second documentary outlined the role General Electric played in the arms race, how it carelessly dealt with its nuclear waste, and how it then tried to hide all this stuff from the public. The story reminded me, oddly, of all the stories of UFOs in the United States and the stories of government conspiracies to cover up the truth about UFOs.

      Well, I don't think it's anything new to assert that a lot of the fervor around UFOs and conspiracy theories regarding UFOs was, at least some of the time, derived less from actual UFOs and more from the collective understanding in the United States that the government, military, and corporate structure were doing things without telling us about it, and that we probably wouldn't approve of these things if we knew about them. You can read Jim Marrs' books to get more of an idea about that.

      So I think my dream combined these issues, which are somewhat large, emotional issues for my little, squirrely brain, and fashioned them into my dream.)
    15. lucky boss and tractor robot; weeds and slavery

      by , 02-20-2011 at 03:13 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in some kind of building construction setting. As I was in this setting, I had some kind of conversation going on in my head, probably just a conversation with myself, but possibly a "remembered" conversation between myself and some person I looked up to.

      The conversation had something to do with the way capitalists exploit people, and how anybody with a conscience shouldn't be part of the corporate system. Of course I felt bad, thinking about my own life in this context.

      The building construction site was enormous. It was almost like some kind of futuristic landscape, where everything in site was part of one kind of building complex. But the whole area seemed to be under construction. But it was in complete disarray, as if things had been destroyed, or as if the place, instead of being a construction site, were just a gigantic dump.

      I was now either swinging on a huge crane or watching some kind of robot swinging from the crane. The crane had a red metal frame. It swung back and forth in front of a half-built building.

      As the crane swung back and forth, I heard the voice in my head talk about my boss, referring to him as a "lucky boss." Something about the way this had been said made me feel bad about myself all over again, as if I were part of some awful system where the bosses were all "lucky" and everybody else was being exploited.

      I was now definitely watching a robot swinging from the crane. The robot was yellow, like a tractor. It may even have been made out of old tractor parts. But it had cute, big eyes that looked half like oogly eyes and half like empty headlights for a car.

      The robot dropped itself off the crane. It fell down toward a huge pile of other tractor-like robots. I knew that the impact of the landing would kill the robot. But I knew that the robot had meant to do this, and that it had wanted to die.

      Dream #2

      I was in some kind of forest or rural area. I was in front of a cabin. It was a warm, partly sunny day.

      I jumped up into the air and flew over toward a dirt road or dirt path. As I did this, I thought to myself something about the history of the United States and slavery.

      I landed on the path. The path was blocked by a patch of weeds, some of which were quite tall, even flowering. I jumped up into the air again and flew over the weeds. There may have been another patch of weeds not too far after the first one. So I may have decided to keep on flying.

      As I flew over the weeds, I continued my thoughts on slavery. I thought to myself that African Americans had been kept down first by slavery. But then, even after slavery, they had to deal with so much oppression. I thought to myself, Well, I shouldn't be surprised if there's resentment because of all this. But now the situation is definitely changing.
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