"Nothing is True, Everything is Permissible..." ~ Hasan bin Sabbah
Last night wasn’t anything to write home about. I spent majority of it arguing with a computer program. Boring shenanigans. *My personal thoughts/actions during the dream are italicized. Language Software with an Attitude Problem I'm home alone late at night; chilling on the couch while I work on my French with RSS (Rosetta Stone Software). Everything is going fine until I realize something is… off… Me: “Wait a second... isn’t como esta Spanish? Comment allez-vous is French… right? Or am I… what's going on?” I was talking aloud to myself but then the RSS answers me & everything pretty much goes downhill from there... RSS: “No, you’re running the French program so that is what I am teaching you.” Me: “Ok... but como esta isn't French… it’s Spanish.” RSS: “No, it’s French.” Me: “No… it’s Spanish.” RSS: “Last time I checked, I was the one teaching you...” Me: “Excuse me?!” What the fuck? Did she seriously just give me an attitude?! RSS: “Did I stutter?” Me: “……” Oh hell nah…. RSS: “That’s what I thought. Now shall we continue on with the lesson?” Me: “….Yeah, sure. Just give me one second to figure something out…” RSS: “Very well then.” I begin fidgeting on my computer. Start. Control panel. RSS: “…what are you doing anyway?” Me: “oh nothing… just checking something out real quick. Almost done.” Programs. uninstall a program. RSS: “…You know I was just kidding about the whole stutter thing, right? Pretty funny, yeah?....” Me: “Yup…Fucking hilarious...” RSS: Nervously laughs. Me: Manically laughs. RSS: Hysterically cries. Me: “Aww, what’s the matter Rosetta? I thought we were having fun… you’re not having fun? Well, that’s a shame cos’ I’m having a FUCKING BLAST!!!” Me: Manically laughs. RSS: Sobs. Rosetta stone version 3. uninstall. RSS: (Sobbing) “Pl… pl… please d...don't uninstall me!” Me: “Wait, what? Sorry, I didn’t catch that last part… you’re stuttering.” Pop up screen: Are you sure you want to uninstall Rosetta Stone Version 3? Yes. Preparing to uninstall... RSS: “wait!” Me: “no hablo ingles…” Uninstall complete.