Brainy Vapours

We're very poor and have an extremely strict budget to live on. While on our way to a food shop I notice a jewelry shop. I can't help but drool over some of the trinkets while my (ex) man waits outside. I come out, very depressed, knowing we can never afford anything in there, especially not the necklaces I love so much. I tell my man so and he drops everything, practically running into the store. I can hear him asking about second hand jewelry.

A friend that I suddenly notice with me asks me if I'm happy. I smile and say that although I think it's a nice gesture of him to do this for me, I do wish he'd have done it later while I was not here. I explain that I know he will buy something, and just come out and hand it to me, rather than saving it to give to me on Mother's Day, for example, which is in a few days. As I predict, he does just as I said he would. I ask him to take it back and give it to me on Mother's Day.

Suddenly we're mugged by a very tall man who doesn't even bother to hide his face. A fight breaks out, and its actually me that's kicking his ass while my man watches from the sidelines. I am so angry, telling the thief that his is so low for stealing from people who can't even afford to buy food. There is going to be a court case and I'm very emotional.

Dream skip and I'm at a garbage can outside that same jewelry store, sorting through what I find in there, looking for something of value. I'm shocked at my luck that I actually find something - a fairly expensive set that someone has taken a few pieces off and thrown the rest away. It looks as though they took only a few pairs of ear rings and tossed the rest, which includes some bangles and a ring. It's not really my style, all in kind of a floral print, but beggars can't be choosers, as they say. I notice a price tag that reads $124.99. I also find some ornate elephants that are covered in dirt which I wipe carefully away.

Some Fragments:

My ex keeps putting my bed covers over top of his BBQ, covering the meat he is cooking there. I keep telling him to stop, but he doesn't, saying that he likes the smokey flavour he gets when he uses my bed covers as a lid

Owen is visiting and we're trying to figure out what would be the best job for him. I am looking in his online profile to get some ideas, but I feel like I'm trespassing or snooping.

My son is sat at a large table with all kinds of fruit and veg on it. We are testing each to find out which he likes.

Flies in my Nose!

I have a sickness of the eyes and I can't seem to focus properly. Blurry, I go up to the doctor and they tell me it will be expelled soon. I sit down in a dentist like chair, or rather, I lay back, as they turn on a big overhead light. I ask them what it means that 'it will be expelled soon' and they tell me that 'it' is an insect that is in my nasal cavity. Sure enough, one tiny fly like creature comes out of my nose in a stream of liquid, then another. I am told that this happened because of the cubed tobacco I have been eating. I think of where I got it, and I see Teddy from Gray's anatomy eating it too. I picked up the habit from being around her, I rationalize.
The doctors collect the flies to send to pathology.

I have memories of three fragmented dreams, all rather random...

Fragment 1

All I can remember is I'm out in the middle of the woods, at some log cabin home where this hippy type man and woman live. They are drug dealers, apparently. The man takes my passport and makes a break for it in his station wagon (complete with wood panel!) I chase after him, crying, panicked.

Fragment 2

I'm in an Indian themed love hotel searching for someone

Fragment 3

I'm lost in a labyrinth of underground train and subway tunnels. I keep changing trains trying to find my way, but it just gets me more and more hopelessly lost. I ask for help but no one can help me or understand me. I eventually find my ex (he's wearing this strange crepe type white shirt that has a 'stylishly' ripped V neck. He's laughing and nervous because he's lost and confused too.

I'm on a break from thinking too much about LDing. This has made my dreams easier to remember, perhaps because there is less pressure on my brain.

Just like in real life, I am sick and laying down to rest on the bed. It's my same bed, but it's in the flat I had with my ex, near Berlin. Or at least, I recognize it as such, but this flat is actually much more beautiful and expensive looking.

My ex is in the other room, with him are two of his friends, both of whom I know from when we lived in Vancouver. I get up to go out, passing through a room/hallway that has my ex's computer in it. It's on. I glance at the screen and see some form of Messenger running - though it's not MSN. On it are active conversations from other friends of his in Vancouver. They all appear to be congratulating him and the two friends that are visiting, wishing them all the best and lots of fun. It doesn't say so, but I gather that my ex and his two friends are going to move in together. I wonder to myself if it will be here in Germany, or in Ireland, where he is living in RL now. I briefly wonder why he is back in Germany again.

I move to the next room. They are talking and laughing loudly, but go quiet when I enter. Awkward. I am looking for something healthy to eat, as I am not feeling well. All I can find is a big paper bag full of all kinds of junk food. They all freak out when I find it, and I tell them to relax, I don't want their stupid crap food. Not finding anything, I leave the room. My ex follows me.

In the room with the computer again, my ex immediately notices that his screen has been scrolled. He looks worried and slightly angry, asking me if I read his conversation. I say "Why would I want to read your conversation?" and look away. He seems to believe me. I feel guilty for lying.

Flash now to one of his friends questioning me - he's asking me if my ex and I are getting back together, or "kissing and making up" as he calls it. I look at him like he's nuts and tell him as much, saying that's the last thing I want. I can tell my ex's friend is just asking to make sure it's a safe bet to move in with him, but I'm not supposed to know so I stay quiet.

Feelings: confusion, guilt, bitterness, alienation, a feeling of jealousy when looking around the nice flat