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    the Dream Almanac

    1. Pug Genocide and the Obstacle Course + Circle Class + Fragments

      by , 03-08-2011 at 03:36 PM (the Dream Almanac)
      Pug Genocide and the Obstacle Course

      Iím on my street walking two dogs, a Pomeranian and a pug. I make sure to keep them walking on the right side of the road, and my dream-mind thinks of how much I like the direction of East. I have trouble keeping them out of the roads but I manage to take them to my destination: a big building with all the kids from school waiting in line outside. Thereís something going on, but I donít really know what. I notice that if I get in line, Iíll be waiting for hours. Itís extremely hot out, the peak of summer.

      I see my Uncle Pat come at me from a distance. He has a shot gun. Suddenly I am being pulled to the ground. I canít see anything and my dogs are taken. Hands are over me. I am put in a car. I open my eyes. Iím in the backseat. My momís in front with my Nana and the dogs are here in the back. The windows are rolled up and weíre all sweating really hard because of the heat.

      ďYou canít take Pugs out in the open,Ē my Nana says. She explains that they are being killed off, and my Uncle is one of the men who shoots them. I donít know why itís happening. I roll a window down and shove my face out. Itís a little refreshing. I draw things in the thick condensation thatís formed on the windows.

      They drop me off at my dream-house, where Iím staying. Itís night time. I take the dogs into a shed and ruffle through a few boxes. I find a purple wig and put it on. In the mirror, I look the same, and my wig looks really funny. I canít fit all my hair under it.

      I go into the house. Iím staying with an autistic boy and his autistic friend. They annoy me, not because theyíre autistic, but they wonít leave me alone for a moment. I try to run into my room and quickly close the door, but they get in. I do it again, forcefully and lock the door. The dogs play around in my room.

      The scene jumps to me going back to the building with the school kids. Itís daytime again, but the same day, just a few hours later. No one is outside and I see the tail end of the line going in. Shit. To go in, you walk up some stairs on the side of the building, so I do that. The next part is the beginning of a big obstacle course. I didnít know that was what this was.

      Derek, my friend, is in front of me. After the stairs, you climb through a window-esque opening. I do so, but after casually going through, I am almost falling off a circular ledge that leads from the outside to the inside. Below me, all the kids are doing their obstacles or just watching me fall. This is the first part, and Iím already failing. Well I didnít know about it, so I donít feel that bad, I donít really care about this. The ledge is absolutely terrifying, however.

      I fall more, and Iím dangling half inside half outside the building, my hands on the ledge.

      ďFuck all you hoes,Ē I say (lols) and manage to lift myself up. I slink around the ledge and come to a bigger part of it. Kayla, a schoolmate, is in back of me. There are two doorways. They are both extremely small. I enter one, and it gets blistering hot as I walk through. I take off my hoodie, and my mind says this is why my dream has been so hot. Itís still hot in the hallway. It zigzags vertically and becomes too small to fit through. I look back and see Kayla has taken the other hallway, the correct choice. Shit, failed again.

      Scene change to the end of the course. Iíve probably come in last, but Iím hanging out with the first place and second place kids until they make a final announcement. Itís kind of like a break time. First place is ďHeatherĒ, although it doesnít look like her and she keeps taking her glasses off (which she doesnít have in waking life) and saying how she canít see.

      Circle Class

      I am in a big fancy house and I am going to interview someone. They bring me to the ďtea roomĒ, which is a huge circular white room. I sit down.

      Scene change to me sitting in the room, but in a desk. There are about thirty desks all arranged in a circular way. I see Jack sitting on the other side of the circle. Iím talking to Megan, a childhood friend, and Derek, a friend from school. We talk for a long time, most of the dream, but I donít remember dialogue much. My mouth is really dry.

      I look down the line and see Heather talking to a friend, Aimee. I get a jealousy pang but remember that Iím having a quite good time myself here talking with Megan. We are sitting in rolly chairs and I spin around the room, having some fun.

      For some reason, a lot of people start to leave. I think theyíll come back so I wait. Eventually itís just me and a few kids near Jack who are really dedicated students and wouldnít leave a class. I know everyone is having a good time without me, and I get very upset. I see Derek left me a drawing. Itís really good, and on the back it has a black scratch area. It reveals rainbow colors if you scratch it away. I doodle on it and think about what Heather is doing without me. I do some funny things to entertain the students, who laugh, but I canít close my mouth. Itís too dry!

      I wake up, and have the worst dry mouth. I drink water and go back to bed.


      I am in Goodwill with my mom and someone else. This girl Emily who is really disgusting is here. She points to a sailing instrument, a tiny globe that has a handle under it that controls a grid laying over the earth. It tells you longitude and latitude numbers. I really want it, but itís thirty dollars. I carry it around and slip it into my pocket.

      I check out the records and they have video game soundtracks. I really want the Donkey Kong 64 Part 2 (doesnít exist!) soundtrack, or the Banjoe Tooie. No money, oh well. I think about telling my friend Lotie about them, because she just got a record player.

      I look at a television playing something on a shelf. A thought comes to mind that my mom had cancer in my dream or something. The dream details on this, but I donít recall any of it.


      Itís a year later than now, and I ďwake upĒ in a daze into the new present time, knowing nothing of the past year. I ask Heather all the things we did in the passing year, and have my mom tell me some things we did too. I go to a park with my mom and dad and my dad uncovers my old bike from under a hiding spot. He said I put it there last year.

      I'm in my first room ever. On the ground there are two vests, identical. Weird, I think. Why would that happen? I could be dreaming. I become lucid, look at the vests, and see they are remarkably different. I wake up.
    2. Boyscouts vs. the Fire Nation + Illegal Drive + Climbing The Tower + Fragment

      by , 03-03-2011 at 04:10 PM (the Dream Almanac)
      Boyscouts vs. the Fire Nation

      Holden my brother, Tyler and I are hanging around downtown. Weíre on this outside deck looking over the parking lot in the center of all the shops. I look over at a part of the brick buildings to my right thatís made of wood all the way from bottom to top. Itís made of strips of wood intersecting like Xís, like a foundation of a porch on some houses. Between the Xís I can see an old decaying sign.

      At the same moment, Tyler seems to spot it: ďLook, remember Weatherfields?!Ē

      ďFuck yeah, I loved that place,Ē I say. It was an old restaurant that everyone went to as children (such a place doesnít actually exist). Holden says he never went there, but I assure him he did.

      In front of us, a few people get out of a little car. Itís a family it seems.

      ďLetís go, thereís Kirstie Alley,Ē Holden says and starts walking out of the deck, into the parking lot and away from the family. It wasnít only a fat joke, but the mom of the family also looked like Kirstie Alley, the actress. She was huge and was wearing a pink dress down to her ankles. Her flubby arms swung and instead of walking, she seemed to just tip in the direction she wished to go and flowed with inertia.

      Holden, Tyler and I went to Goodwill, which was across the parking lot. Inside, I ran into the toys section which my dream-self never really does (Goodwill doesnít have a toys section, and the whole place was more of a real store like a small WalMart). Tyler followed me and we began talking about wanting it to be summer out so we can play with water guns.

      A couple started quarreling in the aisle so we left and went up front. There, we looked inside one of those claw machines. There was a really interesting looking umbrella. At first, I didnít even know it was an umbrella. It had spikes in bands all around it, intricately engraved motifs from the handle to the top of it, where they followed the paths of metal in the shading part.

      ďJack, you can have that blue one,Ē Tyler says. She points to a similar umbrella although colored light blue, making it kind of ugly. Where did Jack even come from? He has an ugly little face of anger when she makes this jab, and then he disappears.

      Tyler and I touch a lot of soft stuffed animals in a big metal bin. I am particularly attracted to a white elephant and canít stop touching it. Eventually, Holden asks us to leave because heís bored of Goodwill, so we do.

      The scene becomes us walking around Winslow, our neighboring town. Holden is a boyscouts parade soon, and Tyler and I are just following him around. Tylerís smoking but doesnít want her cigarettes anymore for whatever reason and asks if Iíd like them. I think for a second and say sure. One is unlit and one is lit. I put the unlit one in my pocket and look at the lit one: where the flame should be, there is a hologram of a tiny flag that dissolves if you wave it back and forth. I take a drag and nothing really happens, no smoke, nothing.

      We are walking up this big hill and I see my friend Autumn. Sheís wearing a boyscout uniform just like the guys. Itís funny for me because sheís pretty big and walking up this big hill and doing dude-things with scouts, which is not of character for her. Not on the dream-plane, though!

      ďAutumn, why are you even a boyscout anymore?Ē I ask. She shrugs her shoulders and we talk about something (but I rarely remember dialogue in my dreams at all).

      We get to the top of the hill. Tyler, Holden, and my old friend Cholage are at the top and want to slide down.

      ďWhat the fuck, youíll probably die!Ē I say and make notice of the four-way intersection at the bottom (all of this is accurate in waking life). They all shrug their shoulders and start sliding down anyway. They just jump and their feet slide on the pavement, moving it as if it was very slippery and malleable mud. I donít want to look like a coward so I start sliding too.

      Iím half-way down and everyone else is at the bottom so I decide to call it quits. I canít stop easily so I ram myself into a building on the side of the hill and then slide over and join Holden, Tyler and Cholage. They are on this floating house with a floating front yard, all of it on top of a small inlet. Iím really afraid of it sinking because I donít want to get wet. Holden laughs at me because of how afraid I am, and I laugh too.

      I look over and Tyler and Cholage are nearly naked making out with eachother. Holden is laughing and they both have smiles on their faces. I have an intuitive thought that they are doing this to make me jealous (though Iím not really attracted to either of them). I donít want to seem jealous. But! I fall while the floating yard bobs in the water and my face lands right near their nude bodies. Whoops.

      Holden and I start walking with the boyscouts as their parade starts. Thereís a ton of boyscouts on the sidelines, but no actual onlookers. I think of how embarrassing this is, but no one minds. While Holden walks in the parade, I ask him about Avatar.
      ďWe should watch Avatar sometime, I love that show. Iím re-watching all the episodes,Ē I say. He kind of nods, uninterested. ďHave you seen the movie?Ē

      ďNo. Itís not Miyamotoís best.Ē (Why did my mind choose Miyamoto as the director??)

      ďYeah I havenít seen it either, I think they cast Aang wrong. He looks so serious,Ē I say. Holden agrees and we talk about it for awhile. I make a face, impersonating the actor.

      Suddenly, the Fire Nation is attacking the parade! (I love how the mind works ) Everyone is running all over the place. Most of the boyscouts are Air Benders, like me. I get separated and am by myself, almost surrounded by opponents. Luckily, most of them are engaged with other battles and donít notice me. One, in front of me, however, sends a giant flame dragon head at me. Its jaw is chomping as it comes closer. I close my eyes and focus my energy on the most powerful air attack I could do right now. I cross my arms, and when I uncross them, I send a wave of forceful air in its direction. The dragon head splits into smaller flaming heads that dissolve as someone pulls a big blanket of salt water over everyone. Itís sticky.

      Around me, big booming voices are telling their followers to say a certain word that will bring them to safety. I see one of the voices re-embodied. Itís a God, a leafy Earth God that is putting all his devotees into a vortex as they say the correct word.
      My friend Gabe says it, and I look at him strangely. He was always an atheist! I say the word, too, hoping for salvation, and I black out.

      I wake up in a recovery area. Everyone is sitting on leafy clouds. My surroundings are dim. Holden is here, but Tyler isnít. Heatherís friend Brittany is in front of me. For some reason, she pulls me really close to her and is making very affectionate moves! I apologize when our faces stick together because of how salty I am. She doesnít mind, and starts kissing me. I wake up.

      Illegal Drive

      In the middle of the night, Tyler texted me and asked if I had any money for weed. I said no and went back to sleep.
      In my dream, I am in the school, but under it, in this really cool art workshop that no one knows about. I get a text from Tyler and she asks if I have any money for McDonalds. I decide that I will take my car and get her some, even though I donít have my license.

      My car is underground where I am at the school, so I just go get it and drive off. I drive fine until I get to McDonalds, where I forget to stop at the window. Iím embarrassed so I just decide to drive home. I find that Iím going 80 down a hill and canít stop. Eventually I hit the breaks. I turn into this little section of the parking lot in downtown. I try to keep going on this ďroadĒ but I find the only ways to go are up someÖstairs? Shit, I am driving in a pedestrian park. I back out and go home.

      False Awakening: I wake up and donít know if it was all a dream or not. I tell my mom, hesitantly, that my car may or may not be here, and I may or may not have driven it last night. She laughs and says it was just a dream. Okay good!

      Climbing The Tower

      There is a big tower. A bunch of kids are climbing it, itís some game. It turns into a tunnel halfway up and then disappears, turning over and extending some other way. I try to climb it but, like a lot of the kids, I fall. Itís a difficult game-like structure. I see how some of the more ďadvancedĒ kids are climbing it and mimic them.

      I ďgetĒ how to climb it now, so Iím doing it all really easily. I pass most of the kids who I learned from. The newest part that I see is a green rope at the top of the tower that you hold on to as you fall off the side of it, into a swampy area. The tower was clearly just the beginning of a really cool journey.

      I donít grab onto the rope, I just kind of let my fingers glide over it as I jump into the swamp. A lot of kids ďdieĒ (and re-enter at the entrance to the whole tower) here. I walk around the tower in the swamp and come to weird area with a bunch of circular steps with newspaper over them. I hop along them, passing this area, and find myself in another swamp land.

      Thereís another tower which a few kids are trying to climb. I use my climbing skills and pass them as well. The top of the tower is a cool club house! Thereís a few other ďwinnersĒ inside, and we talk about the tower and just hang out.

      Something happens, and the scene changes. I want to go to the club house again. I pass all the kids trying, and at the step area, I see why people have a lot of trouble here: the steps are made of pure ice. Because I hopped passed them, I didnít come in contact with them enough to notice.

      In the club house, thereís only a girl inside. Whereíd all the cool winners go? She wants me to help her lure a Dryad from the swamp. First she suggest I set my Dryad Bow (?) into the water, but I assume sheíll take it. Instead, she puts her shiny Chaos Gloves (from Guild Wars) into the water, but nothing comes. I feel bad.


      Iím at school in a classroom Iíve never seen. I sit out back with my friend Celina. I havenít been to class in awhile I assume, because everyone is working on some project and have pages of notes, and I have none. I donít really care.

      Chase calls me over from the other side of the room. He explains what weíre doing: making our own cereal boxes. Iím excited. It incorporates English somehow by having us add propaganda to the box. The project seems really fun. I want to make my box funny, so on the bottom I put the Surgeon Generalís Warning.