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    FallenAwake

    1. Processing Practice: Jealousy Layered over Sadness

      by , 04-19-2011 at 06:52 PM
      WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
      BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT


      FFEDCIDD Practice
      FFEDCIDD = Face, Feel, Expand, Dissipate, Coalesce, Integrate, Decide, Do

      Jealousy roaring up. Expanded about a foot from my body. specks of contained heat (but not touchable?) It was like an insulation, a bit spongy. Jealousy felt bizarre - that might have been the first time I’ve really let myself feel it. I have memories of stuffing it down because it was unattractive.

      In love with my fan-157116_69886810_3202825.jpg
      A loose approximation
      (more like just a pretty thing that had similar colors)
      by fleicap

      Under it a sadness centered in my gut, heart, and throat. The sadness (or maybe my mental reflections on it) brought me to memories of soothing myself as a child by crying into a mirror alone. I feel a lot of resistance to posting that little intimate detail, so maybe forcing myself is the way to go. Gah, I’m not always this serious, an insecure voice inside me is sharply whining and pushing.

      Updated 04-19-2011 at 07:31 PM by 44605

      Categories
      memorable , side notes