Linkzelda's Dream Journal

07.20.2012

Missed Flight and Blind Rage (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside of a two story house, and right now, I can tell that it's already night time, or at least early morning where it's still dark outside. It feels like I'm at my uncle's house, except with a few modifications to it.

The house, at least the top floor, is a little bigger than normal, because it isn't split off to where there's two different floors, it's just one big floor linking to several rooms. It feels like we went out to some kind of party or at least went to a fancy restaurant.

I go inside a room that's apparently the guest bedroom for me, and I look over to my left to see a Black TV Cable box. I look at the time passively, not really double-checking if it's going to alter. It's in green digital font, and the time was around 5:37 AM or 5:57 AM.

I had a feeling that I had a flight to go that would depart around 7:45 AM I think, and I felt too tired to even care. Bad idea...

As I'm drifting to sleep, I wake up around 7 something AM in the dream, and then the awareness that I'm not going to make my flight back home starts coming back to me. I panic a little, because I would have to contact my father that I couldn't make my flight.

And then I would have to worry on what he's going to say to that, wondering what kept me back and blah blah blah blah blah blah.....

I decided that it can't be helped, so I thought about having it re-booked instead, and I can always tell him later on. I honestly didn't really care too much oh whether or not my father knows I missed my flight because I overslept. I shift my focus back to being in the house, and as I'm getting up, I get another feeling that I was working on two drawings before.

I keep walking on the top floor until I see a table in the middle with two mini sized poster paper with portraits of myself. One drawing was me posed as if I'm drawing something with my head down, and the other one.......I can't remember what it was exactly.

I think I come back to those two drawings, and I look back to the first one I described. I take a good look at it, and the details start becoming more vivid and clear. It looks like I did the drawing myself, and I tried not to touch it too much because it was a graphite drawing, and didn't want the lead smearing on my finger.

I look at the drawing closely again, and I see a blue ink mark.

I get pissed....someone either did this out of spite, or was completely fucking clueless when they wanted to see if a pen had ink in it and needed a paper to test it. My rage gradually builds up, and I feel like I'm grinding my teeth while keeping my mouth closed. I started to make assumptions of who could have done it.


I shift my focus to my Uncle's sons, and I realized that "J" couldn't have done it, since I had a feeling he told me he didn't do it. Then I try to find "D," trying to suppress my rage until the time was right. I calmly ask him if he was the one who marked on the drawing.

I wasn't cognizant of his mother being close to him at the moment, and he told me that he did do it. What made it worse is that he said it in a passive tone, as if it wasn't a big deal at all.


..............................................

I don't remember what I said exactly, but I know I screamed at him and asked him what the hell is wrong with him. Then I remember that my Uncle probably heard all of this.

I tried calming down quickly, because I hear my Uncle footsteps. I wasn't worried on how he would respond, it's just that I didn't want him to see me pissed off, since I always had a calm demeanor and respectful tone towards my uncle and his family.

My Uncle comes closer to me and asks me what I would like for breakfast, seems he didn't really hear what I said to "D." I'm still trying to get out of the thought process of worrying that my Uncle would be concerned on why I screamed at D, and after a few seconds, I calmed down completely.

I told my Uncle I would like some Pancakes, and a few other things I can't remember, since I still had my mind on calming down with the mark on the drawing.

My uncle leaves, and then I shift my attention back at "D" and his mother. His mother changes the conversation immediately, and she's talking about something.

This is the part that confuses me, I'm not sure if someone else explains it to her, or if she's explaining it to me. I also have thoughts about missing the airport flight, and I get a mental image of several air planes outside at an airport, and seeing several flags hanging on tilted poles.

I regain focus on the two people in front of me.

I'm going to assume that there's a dream shift now, because things feel out of synch right now.

I believe a blonde female, probably around her early 30s is talking to me on how she paid for college. She declared to me that the funding was based on how well she did in her courses, the higher the grade, the more likely she would receive more funding to pay for tuition and other expenses.

There was a specific scholarship where you had to at least have 3 100s in your current semester of courses, which elevated the difficulty of being eligible for the award in the first place. The blonde female shows me that she was able to get it easily. I think she managed to get 6 100s or something like that.

Okay lady, I'm glad you did well and all that, but I don't see how petting your ego is relevant to adding anything to my own knowledge.....sigh...

_________________________

07.20.2012

Old Camera (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I go inside of a room, and it's really dull and boring in here. I see there's a dark brown shelf with a nice wood layering to it. However, the insides of the shelf looked old and dust, and I peek to see what's contained in the shelf.

I think someone is behind me, but I don't pay attention at all of their presence. I see a Camera bag inside, and I immediately take it. I slowly opened it, because I had a feeling something would crawl out, especially if the zipper for the bag was slightly opened to let little critters go in it.

I take the camera out, and this looks like one of those non-digital cameras. That was the initial thought until I turned it on. The screen behind it flashed, and then there's just a blank bright screen that's on. I didn't pay attention to the fact that it wasn't gathering light from the lenses to show its focus.

I look back into the insides of the shelf, and I see a slightly smashed cockroach.

-________-

For some odd reason, even though the camera bag was opposite of the dead cockroach, I didn't want to touch the left side of the Camera, because I had a feeling the cockroach was contained in the bag somehow.

I really can't believe I'm going this far to describe what it was like to take out a camera from a bag.....

_________________________

07.20.2012

New Classroom (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I go inside a classroom, and I try to find a seat. There aren't many people there as yet, and when you go into the class by entering it to your right, if you stick you arm out as if you're going to spread both of them out to make a snow angel or something, the seats were parallel to the direction of your arm.

The desks were very flat and gray, with a nice shine to them, seems things are pretty new in this classroom, or the janitors know how to clean well.

I wanted to sit at the back of the classroom, and since there was a weird seat arrangement for a classroom with a small surface area, sitting in the middle wouldn't be ideal, especially if there were seats on both sides of the desk. Then I realized that I never been to this class before, and I look at the teacher, and he's a tall dark skinned man wearing glasses.

I think he glances at me to see who I was, and I take out a paper out of my backpack with my schedule on it to eventually show the teacher. While I'm in the process of picking up my black backpack, I see with my peripheral vision that an Asian girl is looking at me. She looks a lot like one girl on the tennis team I used to be in the last High School I attended.

Let's call her Angelina, since I doubt she's going to find this information in the first place. I don't know why Angelina is paying attention to me, maybe because she didn't expect me to be in the classroom in the first place.

I go up to the teacher, and I quickly hand him my schedule to show proof that this is the right class that I'm in. He nods and acknowledges this, and I go back to choosing a seat. More people start coming in, and some even put their backpacks on the desk and left for a while to confirm that's the seat they wanted.

Damn it, and they took the good seats, especially the seat that was near the door to leave the class. I tried to look for other seats near the side of the door, since there was a better walkway to quickly leave the glass. I guess it's just a habit for me to speculate on this because I wanted to make sure I was early to class a lot in High School.

More people start coming in, and it gets more complicated trying to find a seat, and I didn't want to sit next to people who had a seat saved for their friend. I had no choice but to go to the back section of the seating arrangement, but fortunately, I was able to get a vacant seat that was at the corner of the side with the walkway to the door.

A girl two seats to the right of me is saving a seat that's on the right of me. The girl she's saving the seat for is Hannah, and to my surprise, she looks exactly like the Hannah I had for my World history class when I was a sophomore in High School. Hannah has her hair tied back, and she's wearing a pink shirt that looks like the ones cheerleaders in high school would wear to show school spirit or something.

After everyone finds their new seat, the teacher begins by having these helmet parts handed out to us. You know those small race cars you have to turn the gear constantly, and then let it go on a flat surface to make it drive automatically until the gears you turned reached their end?

It felt like being in Pre-K or something, and the teacher's impatience with the class not following his instructions for this weird assignment made it even more hilarious, at least it was when I'm recalling it. One helmet part had a mini ramp going down or up, I can't remember, it was like a slide.

We had to attach this helmet on our heads, and somehow arrange the racing car on top, turn the gears a bit, and then wait for it to land on the desk from the ramp it's on. Weird assignment, and it would've been fun if the teacher didn't go bi-polar on us.

I don't remember anything after that, but I do remember a dream fragment related to High School.

I'm walking in the hallway, and it seems it must be break time for students with a specific schedule. Everyone is hanging out with their friends by the lockers on the sides of the hallway, and I hear someone say "Brandon."

I didn't pay attention to them, because I felt it wasn't meant for me, but every time they said "Brandon," it was as if someone was yanking an invisible chain on my ankle, tempting me to turn around to see who it was.

That's all I remember. I guess the recall is okay, considering I woke up to do some small things that kind of skewed the recall a bit. I really do need to get into the habit again of only focusing on writing my dreams, and completely eradicating all logic of daily life when I have that opportunity of not being distracted at all.

03.23.2012

Where are we going to?....Tommo?, Bed needs an Oil change, Calling my Mother, Just Get Out Already

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Dream 1: Where are we going to?....Tommo?

I remember the dream starting out where I'm sitting in the passenger seat, and someone is giving me a ride to somewhere.

It seems they stopped near a few stores are that linked together, and I asked them, "Where are we going to?"

I can't remember if they responded to me or not, but we both get off, and I still have no clear image of this person who gave me the ride. I thought we were headed for Gamestop, seeing as we're parked close to it.

I try to open the door to Gamestop, but I'm having difficulty opening it, the door is opening, but not even all the way.

It seems the game store isn't even opened as yet, in fact, it looks abandoned and empty because it's dark and there are white walls that are not filled with anything. I decided I should just give up since I'm struggling to open the door, but the person that I'm not even paying attention too opens it for me with ease.

I follow this person through this dark and empty area, and there's another door in front of us, and I just follow the other person's footsteps, and suddenly we're in another dark area, but it looks more like someone's house.

In this area, there seems to be another door in front of us, but I think it was just a house bathroom this time, and the person goes in. After I'm waiting and staring at the partial darkness, I see a cockroach on the floor, and it is really huge.

If you spread your index finger and thumb all the way, that's how huge it was (size may vary ).

I didn't really panic seeing this cockroach, I was just looking at it and making sure I didn't make sudden movements because I wanted to kill this thing. It was moving its antennas freely, and it probably didn't even notice that I was there.

What I said after seeing the cockroach is what really confuses me, I'm not sure if I really said this, but from what I remember, this is what I asked the person in the bathroom or whatever room they're in.

I asked, "Tommo?" in a quiet voice to make sure the cockroach wouldn't try to move quickly. The person, who apparently is supposed to take the role of Tommo now opens the door quietly.

He asks me, "What's going on?" and I tell him that there's a huge cockroach on the floor near us. I think he gets a blue broom, and slowly creeps behind the cockroach and slams the broom on it.

I can't remember what else happened after that.

Dream 2: Bed needs an Oil change

I'm with my mother, and we're near some bed. For some odd reason, we treat this bed like it's a car or something, because apparently things like the oil gauge needs a new change, and the fuel ran out as well.

I first checked the oil gauge of the bed, and I pour some random liquify contents from a container I didn't even pay attention to, I just assume it's going to help will filling up the oil gauge.

I see my mother trying to pump air into what seems to be an empty lotion bottle, (now that I'm awake, what she's doing is clearly freaking stupid, especially using a mini air pump to fill air into it). She's trying hard to pump air into it, and I ignore her stupid interaction with this lotion and air pump, and I find the gasoline levels of the bed is empty.

At first it didn't seem like it, but after fiddling with it for a while, it was clearly empty. I can't remember much after that.

Dream 3: Calling my Mother

I'm on the phone because I see my mother is trying to call me, and I pick up my Blackberry and started to ask my mother what is she calling me for in an annoyed tone.

I can't remember what she asked me, but I responded in a raspy voice, and I tried gaining my normal voice, but I just can't. So I hang up the phone, and tried to call her again, and I'm still have a some trouble speaking normally, but eventually I get my voice back.

(This was a slight improvement compared to the lucid yesterday where I completely failed in speaking to the a Ginger lady overall).

My mother made fun of my raspy voice, which only made me more pissed off at her, and I told her something in a raging manner, and then hanged up the phone again.


Dream 4: Just Get Out Already (DILD)
(I did a mantra before this as I started to do a WILD attempt after doing a WBTB time for 30-45 minutes) I said a number as I'm inhaling, and "I am dreaming" as I'm exhaling all the way to 150, and then did the same thing from 151 to around 300, but this time, I said, "I will meet Alyzarin" as I exhaled.

I thought this would be a useful anchor, but it seems when I'm getting closer to 300, I get irritated, because again, I wanted to get this WILD attempt done and over with so that I can find Alyzarin. I was listening to a few love songs before doing this just to relax myself.

But I do admit that I was more relaxed, and by the time I quit counting, I turned to my right side and just focused on sleeping instead of trying to keep a small awareness) This dream was kind of weird, my eyes were closed, but I felt like I was standing. I heard my mother and father talking to each other about something, and it seems they're getting ready to go somewhere.

I knew that I'm alone here at my University in waking life, so I knew something was wrong if I could see my father, or even my mother together. I didn't do a reality check or anything, I just knew I was dreaming.

I didn't have the mindset to find Alyzarin in the moment, because I wanted to get rid of my parents first (but I know that if I could just get them out, it would come back immediately). I see my mother is wearing a black and white Nike sports jacket, and I advanced towards her to hug her because they're leaving.

I told them that we're dreaming, but they don't really seem to pick up on what I'm telling them. Their faces are just neutral, but not blank to where they look like robots, but just being quiet for a while, and then resuming back to whatever role they serve in this dream.

I tell the both of them they can go now. I think I'm pushing my mother a bit because she said she had to go back to get something, but she's clearly doing it to buy time or something, so I prevented her from doing that. My father is already headed out the door and to the vehicle, so I didn't have to worry about him.

My mother is going inside the vehicle, and I believe the seating was obviously wrong in American standards. I believe my father was on the left side instead of the right side for the driver's seat, and my mother was sitting on the left side that was the passenger seat.

(I didn't notice this until I woke up, but I don't think that's a really big issue, maybe the car was in different position to make me assume that).

She is asking me to bring her something that she forgot, and I believe she wanted me to bring her a bag of chips. At first I tried to raise my left or right eyebrow because this seems like a random question for her to ask me, but I go back inside the house to check.

What's funny about the arrangement of this house was that the kitchen resembled my apartment's model, while the living room resembled a completely different house. I check the mini doors on top of the fridge, exactly like my apartment's structure.

And I also noticed that the blue trash can I have in waking life is a little bit too big than is needed, and it distracted me for a little while, but I eventually ignore it.

The fridge wasn't even near where I was checking for the Potato Chips, it was probably behind me, so that's another alteration that was different from the actual model structure in waking life.

I open the kitchen cabinet doors, and I find two bags of Lays Potato Chips. One is almost done, maybe half-way, and the other is an full one.

I take the one that's half-full first to give to my mother, and decided I'll eat the other one for myself when I come back. I go out and I believe I give my mother the bag of potato chips.

Then she wants something else.

Are you freaking kidding me!?!?!? She asks me if I can get her some Ginger Ale for me and my father. I asked her, "Why do you need Ginger Ale if you don't have any extra cups or containers to store it in?"

I couldn't really tell her facial expression after I asked her that, but I assume I went back to the house to get it.

That's all I remember.