Linkzelda's Dream Journal

11.17.2012

I'M PREGNANT LOL (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

16 and PREGNANT, OMgz0rs LOLzzz BABY SHOWER!

Okay, I'm lined up with my arms bracing against a female to the left of me, and there's probably 2-3 more females lined up just like that.

There's some random man walking around in a jacket. I had a color of red on the shoulder region, white in the middle, and red for the rest of the jacket.

It's hard to remember if he has it unzipped or zipped. And the women in line with the profile view of our faces parallel to what we're looking forward at, the glass windows far away from us, seem to be wearing red and white clothes too.

I look down, and my stomach is huge...HUGE. I look at the women to my left, and they're stomachs are huge, which is disproportionate to their actual body composition, which leads me to the assumption that they're pregnant.

Then I look at my stomach and theirs, and it's about the same radium, same surface area, same whatever you want to call it....I'm PREGNANT.

I'm pretty sure I don't feel like I have a vagina, so................


I wonder how things are going to come out!!! I rub mah belly, yes, "mah," and I swear I could feel something kicking. Oh shit.

OH SHIT. No water didn't break, thank goodness.

NOW FOR DREAM ANALYSIS TIME!!

This was taken from a site that I had here, but now it disappeared for some reason EDIT: Never mind, here it is:


http://www.astrology.com/dreams/preg...1/2-d-r-154570

A man who dreams of being pregnant himself is often in a situation where his virility or creative participation in the world is in question.

This occurs most among men who see themselves as less creative than they would like to be.

The dream serves as a form of compensation to illuminate the more creative facets of their personality.

Men who are pregnant do not give birth exclusively to children, but a wide range of objects that somehow support their mission in the world.

The first thing that pops up is that it's associated with me trying to tulpaforge, or maybe how I go about drawing. Maybe I feel like I can't be creative enough, I don't know. You see, just like the interpretation implies, my creativie participation in the world is in question, but I think it's just a question within myslef?

Bleh.

But if you are not actually pregnant in waking life, or even if you are a man dreaming this, is it usually about a new area of your potential or personality developing; a deepening relationship with your potential is producing a new area of experience, a new talent or facet of your personality. If it is still unborn – i.e. not yet expressed outwardly – it is developing. It can also be shown in the drama of the dream, how you are bringing to birth a new scheme or creative idea is ‘hatching’.

With this one, I really think it could be related to tulpaforging, making a slight dissociation, making an extra limb in your body that you are aware of that's extended. I hope this is the case, because I don't see much of myself being extended, even though the tulpa is an extension of myself.

Does that make any sense? Hahahah

_________________________

11.17.2012

Come Hither Woman (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

So there's this blonde female wearing a black shirt and regular blue jeans that I presume is my U.S. History teacher, but she's nowhere close to any of them in waking life.

She looks like she's in her 30s, and she looks pretty attractive without any makeup on. I think she announces some kind of project we had to do, and what would be considered artistic for extra points.

I was a picture of a man in a red military uniform, probably the British redcoats, and he was wearing Khaki pants. He has one foot on top of a rock that's ideal for a foot pedestal. It's curved upwards, and then makes a downward curve, almost like a mini-uphill cliff.

I believe he's holding a red flag, and it's very enticing, despite its bland shading here and there. It was shiny in a few areas as well. The man is standing proud, your classic stereotypical manifestation of the ideal patriot.

Then after she was done announcing, I wanted to talk to her SO bad. After seeing the drawing, I wanted to show her some traditional drawings I did in waking life with a pencil. So I somehow find the same blue folder where I store most of my traditional media graphie portraits of people I drew in waking life, and waited for her to get near my area.

She was about 10 feet or so away from me, and I alerted her to come next to me. She comes slowly, and then I have to motion my "Come here" finger to her, and she gets really close to me. She has her hands on her thighs, and her spine is bending down so she can move her face close to my face, so that she can hear me.

I don't know why I wanted to speak privately to her, but has I'm opening the folder, I take out one drawing, the first being this one I did:

Spoiler for A little big:

As I'm taking it out, I turned to her quickly, and told her she should keep her voice down if she'll offer any advice on whatever it is that I'm asking her to do.

I even put my index finger close to my mouth, and I feel I'm showing her this to get an ego boost or something, and to see if she would give me a response if I could get extra credit for the high example of an acceptable drawing she put up with the patriotic soldier from before.

She tells me that they look good, and as long as I can fix a few things, I should be fine. I showed her this drawing I did at some point as well:

Spoiler for Another big one:

11.17.2012

Pinnacle of Perfection Tennis...AGAIN (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

There's this really short anime boy who looks like he's 5-8 years who is wearing a black cap, white dress shirt, and black shorts. He asks this anime girl, who looks like she's 16 years of age or so to play some tennis with her.

I had the feeling this girl was a REALLY good tennis player. She's wearing the usual Asian school outfit you would have engrained in your mind, white blouse shirt with a red tie in the middle, along with the insanely short black skirt.

She was playing the boy for a decent amount of time surprisingly, and I was shocked at how patient she was playing with him, because the boy had no skill at all.

Looking from the back of of the girl, I could see how she sees playing the boy. She can see all his weak points, and they're indicated on the green tennis courts with white arrows going one direction.

I assume these direction arrows were places she can hit the ball to. It all seems like this is a waste of her time, UNTIL the little boy suddenly unlocks Pinnacle of Perfection from Prince of Tennis.

Pinnacle of Perfection, in a nutshell, is the final gate where you have the assurance that you have fun playing tennis, and aren't worried about winning or losing.

Each ground-stroke the boy takes, they get more powerful, each grunt of him performing a backhand or forehand is replaced sighs of joy, them giggling, then laughing, he is having fun. His footwork augments tremendously, and he's so fast, I can't even catch up to him looking at the side view of the tennis court.

There's a big SWOOOOOOOSH, and he's gone. Then in a split second, he appears on right in front of the girl who is at net-play area now. He's floating in the air, and he slams the ball with immense force that it makes a white smoke.

I can't recall much from here, but I can assume the little guy owned the girl in a tennis match.

08.24.2012

Bank Statements (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside a completely different house consisting of dark cool colors, and most of the major features inside of it were blanked out, probably to make me pay attention to my father and mother instead. My father is holding a sheet, and is looking at me seriously for some reason. I look at the paper and saw that I spent $10 on one day and then $2 on another.

Oh god, here it comes....

He starts asking me what these payments were for, and I already had the answers, but how he asked me made me stutter a bit. It's as if I wasted on a Ferrari or something lol. I eventually told him that one of the payments was for some drawings that were of interest to me. I can't remember what the drawings tried to represent, just that they were mostly line art and/or graphite portraits of random people.

As I'm trying to explain him what I made on these small purchases, I walk around this house that I barely even know about and pointed to him that the drawings on the walls are what I bought with the money, most likely with the $10. I do recall one drawing where I see myself, and there's a bunch of muscle on me, which looks deformed.

I'm doing the archer pose on the left side of the drawing, the one that Usain Bolt does. I looked so weird, seeing my big head and then a larger deformed muscular body on me. Then when I'm done explaining things to my father, he suddenly calms down and leaves.

I really hate it when this happens in the dream, he's suddenly boiled up and the moment I say something simple, he just calms down. I mean, sure I want the dream projection of him to calm down, but how he goes through it is way too abrupt that it looks like he's bipolar or something.

After that little episode of unnecessary acts of anger from him, I go into a room to play a game. I don't pay attention to the controller I'm holding, I just know I have something in my hand. It's a weird game, but the objective is to try to match the words on top, and then you'll have an individual square for each letter than you have to scroll up or down really fast to go through the alphabet.

There's a timer for around 5 seconds for each letter, which is why you have to down or up so fast. I think the word I'm trying to match is:

TALES

Though I don't know why I needed to do that, since I felt that even though this is a game, something tells me this was something as a hint for me rather than a randomly generated word. Anyway, I have trouble matching the word "TALES" and ended up with the word "TRAPES" or something like that.

But I'm still not sure how it ended up, it's just the first thing that comes to mind.

I think me, my mother and father were planning to get ready to go somewhere, since I had feelings that I had to finish this quickly.

That's all I remember, I didn't get much sleep last night.

07.20.2012

Missed Flight and Blind Rage (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside of a two story house, and right now, I can tell that it's already night time, or at least early morning where it's still dark outside. It feels like I'm at my uncle's house, except with a few modifications to it.

The house, at least the top floor, is a little bigger than normal, because it isn't split off to where there's two different floors, it's just one big floor linking to several rooms. It feels like we went out to some kind of party or at least went to a fancy restaurant.

I go inside a room that's apparently the guest bedroom for me, and I look over to my left to see a Black TV Cable box. I look at the time passively, not really double-checking if it's going to alter. It's in green digital font, and the time was around 5:37 AM or 5:57 AM.

I had a feeling that I had a flight to go that would depart around 7:45 AM I think, and I felt too tired to even care. Bad idea...

As I'm drifting to sleep, I wake up around 7 something AM in the dream, and then the awareness that I'm not going to make my flight back home starts coming back to me. I panic a little, because I would have to contact my father that I couldn't make my flight.

And then I would have to worry on what he's going to say to that, wondering what kept me back and blah blah blah blah blah blah.....

I decided that it can't be helped, so I thought about having it re-booked instead, and I can always tell him later on. I honestly didn't really care too much oh whether or not my father knows I missed my flight because I overslept. I shift my focus back to being in the house, and as I'm getting up, I get another feeling that I was working on two drawings before.

I keep walking on the top floor until I see a table in the middle with two mini sized poster paper with portraits of myself. One drawing was me posed as if I'm drawing something with my head down, and the other one.......I can't remember what it was exactly.

I think I come back to those two drawings, and I look back to the first one I described. I take a good look at it, and the details start becoming more vivid and clear. It looks like I did the drawing myself, and I tried not to touch it too much because it was a graphite drawing, and didn't want the lead smearing on my finger.

I look at the drawing closely again, and I see a blue ink mark.

I get pissed....someone either did this out of spite, or was completely fucking clueless when they wanted to see if a pen had ink in it and needed a paper to test it. My rage gradually builds up, and I feel like I'm grinding my teeth while keeping my mouth closed. I started to make assumptions of who could have done it.


I shift my focus to my Uncle's sons, and I realized that "J" couldn't have done it, since I had a feeling he told me he didn't do it. Then I try to find "D," trying to suppress my rage until the time was right. I calmly ask him if he was the one who marked on the drawing.

I wasn't cognizant of his mother being close to him at the moment, and he told me that he did do it. What made it worse is that he said it in a passive tone, as if it wasn't a big deal at all.


..............................................

I don't remember what I said exactly, but I know I screamed at him and asked him what the hell is wrong with him. Then I remember that my Uncle probably heard all of this.

I tried calming down quickly, because I hear my Uncle footsteps. I wasn't worried on how he would respond, it's just that I didn't want him to see me pissed off, since I always had a calm demeanor and respectful tone towards my uncle and his family.

My Uncle comes closer to me and asks me what I would like for breakfast, seems he didn't really hear what I said to "D." I'm still trying to get out of the thought process of worrying that my Uncle would be concerned on why I screamed at D, and after a few seconds, I calmed down completely.

I told my Uncle I would like some Pancakes, and a few other things I can't remember, since I still had my mind on calming down with the mark on the drawing.

My uncle leaves, and then I shift my attention back at "D" and his mother. His mother changes the conversation immediately, and she's talking about something.

This is the part that confuses me, I'm not sure if someone else explains it to her, or if she's explaining it to me. I also have thoughts about missing the airport flight, and I get a mental image of several air planes outside at an airport, and seeing several flags hanging on tilted poles.

I regain focus on the two people in front of me.

I'm going to assume that there's a dream shift now, because things feel out of synch right now.

I believe a blonde female, probably around her early 30s is talking to me on how she paid for college. She declared to me that the funding was based on how well she did in her courses, the higher the grade, the more likely she would receive more funding to pay for tuition and other expenses.

There was a specific scholarship where you had to at least have 3 100s in your current semester of courses, which elevated the difficulty of being eligible for the award in the first place. The blonde female shows me that she was able to get it easily. I think she managed to get 6 100s or something like that.

Okay lady, I'm glad you did well and all that, but I don't see how petting your ego is relevant to adding anything to my own knowledge.....sigh...

_________________________

07.20.2012

Old Camera (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I go inside of a room, and it's really dull and boring in here. I see there's a dark brown shelf with a nice wood layering to it. However, the insides of the shelf looked old and dust, and I peek to see what's contained in the shelf.

I think someone is behind me, but I don't pay attention at all of their presence. I see a Camera bag inside, and I immediately take it. I slowly opened it, because I had a feeling something would crawl out, especially if the zipper for the bag was slightly opened to let little critters go in it.

I take the camera out, and this looks like one of those non-digital cameras. That was the initial thought until I turned it on. The screen behind it flashed, and then there's just a blank bright screen that's on. I didn't pay attention to the fact that it wasn't gathering light from the lenses to show its focus.

I look back into the insides of the shelf, and I see a slightly smashed cockroach.

-________-

For some odd reason, even though the camera bag was opposite of the dead cockroach, I didn't want to touch the left side of the Camera, because I had a feeling the cockroach was contained in the bag somehow.

I really can't believe I'm going this far to describe what it was like to take out a camera from a bag.....

_________________________

07.20.2012

New Classroom (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I go inside a classroom, and I try to find a seat. There aren't many people there as yet, and when you go into the class by entering it to your right, if you stick you arm out as if you're going to spread both of them out to make a snow angel or something, the seats were parallel to the direction of your arm.

The desks were very flat and gray, with a nice shine to them, seems things are pretty new in this classroom, or the janitors know how to clean well.

I wanted to sit at the back of the classroom, and since there was a weird seat arrangement for a classroom with a small surface area, sitting in the middle wouldn't be ideal, especially if there were seats on both sides of the desk. Then I realized that I never been to this class before, and I look at the teacher, and he's a tall dark skinned man wearing glasses.

I think he glances at me to see who I was, and I take out a paper out of my backpack with my schedule on it to eventually show the teacher. While I'm in the process of picking up my black backpack, I see with my peripheral vision that an Asian girl is looking at me. She looks a lot like one girl on the tennis team I used to be in the last High School I attended.

Let's call her Angelina, since I doubt she's going to find this information in the first place. I don't know why Angelina is paying attention to me, maybe because she didn't expect me to be in the classroom in the first place.

I go up to the teacher, and I quickly hand him my schedule to show proof that this is the right class that I'm in. He nods and acknowledges this, and I go back to choosing a seat. More people start coming in, and some even put their backpacks on the desk and left for a while to confirm that's the seat they wanted.

Damn it, and they took the good seats, especially the seat that was near the door to leave the class. I tried to look for other seats near the side of the door, since there was a better walkway to quickly leave the glass. I guess it's just a habit for me to speculate on this because I wanted to make sure I was early to class a lot in High School.

More people start coming in, and it gets more complicated trying to find a seat, and I didn't want to sit next to people who had a seat saved for their friend. I had no choice but to go to the back section of the seating arrangement, but fortunately, I was able to get a vacant seat that was at the corner of the side with the walkway to the door.

A girl two seats to the right of me is saving a seat that's on the right of me. The girl she's saving the seat for is Hannah, and to my surprise, she looks exactly like the Hannah I had for my World history class when I was a sophomore in High School. Hannah has her hair tied back, and she's wearing a pink shirt that looks like the ones cheerleaders in high school would wear to show school spirit or something.

After everyone finds their new seat, the teacher begins by having these helmet parts handed out to us. You know those small race cars you have to turn the gear constantly, and then let it go on a flat surface to make it drive automatically until the gears you turned reached their end?

It felt like being in Pre-K or something, and the teacher's impatience with the class not following his instructions for this weird assignment made it even more hilarious, at least it was when I'm recalling it. One helmet part had a mini ramp going down or up, I can't remember, it was like a slide.

We had to attach this helmet on our heads, and somehow arrange the racing car on top, turn the gears a bit, and then wait for it to land on the desk from the ramp it's on. Weird assignment, and it would've been fun if the teacher didn't go bi-polar on us.

I don't remember anything after that, but I do remember a dream fragment related to High School.

I'm walking in the hallway, and it seems it must be break time for students with a specific schedule. Everyone is hanging out with their friends by the lockers on the sides of the hallway, and I hear someone say "Brandon."

I didn't pay attention to them, because I felt it wasn't meant for me, but every time they said "Brandon," it was as if someone was yanking an invisible chain on my ankle, tempting me to turn around to see who it was.

That's all I remember. I guess the recall is okay, considering I woke up to do some small things that kind of skewed the recall a bit. I really do need to get into the habit again of only focusing on writing my dreams, and completely eradicating all logic of daily life when I have that opportunity of not being distracted at all.