kdellama

Non-dream Dream

Dream 1:

I am at my parent’s house but it feels like some kind of magical place. My parents ask me to cut a branch off of a giant tree in their front yard – right next to the curb. It is a magical tree. I through a rope over one of the branches and I climb up the rope. The tree is now floating and I manage to float the whole thing down to the ground without cutting the branch. My mom is helping me determine where and how to cut the tree. The tree turns out to be a date palm. We eat some of the tree with the intention of replacing the parts we eat.

Dream 2:

I am pregnant (I am a male) and I am with a number of pregnant women. I am having stomach pains and I call in my doctor because I think I am ready to deliver. The doctor (female) coaches me in front of everyone else on how to deliver my baby. She has me squat over a pool of water and tells me to start pushing. I feel crap starting to come out of my ass because of the pushing and she tells me this is normal. She says to hold my hand under my butt just in case the baby comes out – we don’t want it to drown in the pool. I just ended up getting a bunch of crap on my hands and no baby. I was very embarrassed.

A thought in the middle of the night:

Each dream you have is you creating a new universe. Once you create a suitable and stable universe you will die and go there. If you die young (before gaining the skills to produce a stable universe) or if you die a tragic death you will end up in an unstable/unsuitable universe (live a rough life).

Dream 3:

I am having dinner at my parent’s house with some of my wife’s family members. Even though my parent’s house is not in LA I am upset because we have to drive to LA 3 times in a row – it is as if their exact house has moved to LA. My brother’s family is there and they have a small dog. I am playing with AD and the dog under the table for a while. I notice that my brother forgets / loses the dog’s toy at least 3 times and I am always the one who has to go get it and nobody thanks me.

I don’t join dinner because I am waiting for my wife to get back from somewhere. I notice that I am never wearing a shirt. My brother has a black Ford something (not a real car name, something like a person’s name with 2 hyphens). Then for some reason I am driving that car by myself on a mountain road. It is almost as if I am in a commercial demonstrating features on the car. I stop and there is a dirt avalanche and the car gets completely buried in dirt with me in it. I am still able to call for help using one of the cars features even though I am deep under dirt. I recall being very scared thinking that this is a horrible way to die. People come to dig me out and they have a credit card machine with them to charge me for the service. There is a $50 tip already included in the bill but I feel bad for not tipping more.

Non-dream Dream

Dream 1:

I am in a group of 8 people and I'm not fitting in well. I am trying to hook up with some chick but she is with someone else. No matter how hard I try I do the wrong thing.

Dream 2:

I am older and at a high school party with the guys from Workaholics. Some young chicks at the party are scheming. There is a long-haired guy there who started off as Matt Damon but changed later on. The girls trick him into eating a drugged hamburger then they kill his dog. He buried his dog out on a dirt road. Some kids drive by and laugh at him. MB is there and his wife is making fun of his small penis. All of our wives show up to the party and we are embarrassed that we are there.

I am playing craps at the party and person rolling the dice sucks. I am also playing blackjack with the side bet. I almost got a straight flush but the dealer paid out for it anyway. The chips were: red-$5, green-$25, and the $100's were also green but just had a 1 on them. I won another blackjack side pot with an A,3,4 of spades. They were all in my hand somehow and I got paid. The dealer showed another spade and I tried to get paid again.

One kid at the party tells me that he was born in 1999 and was about to go to college for business. I said "WTF - kids born in 1999 are going to college?!?" At that point I realize the year must be ~2017.

Two of the girls at the party are showing their vaginas. They were very tight. One of them starts talking to me about quantum mechanics.

Dream 3:

I almost get hit by a crow.