Batch

09-28-2012 -- I'm at a theater somewhere in Orlando with BC, preparing to take in a performance of All in the Timing, though it doesn't seem to be under that title. The problem is, neither BC nor I have any money for a ticket. So why are we here again? We are just about to leave when Karl O. comes running up, wanting to know what the heck we are doing here. AH is performing in this, and if she sees me, she'll blow a gasket! [In real life, this is nonsense and AH would be the consummate professional, and might well be glad for the ticket sale, even if she didn't want to interact with me personally.]

BC is saying we wanted to take in the play, and I am explaining I wanted to see all six scenes, instead of just the four I saw the last time. He is asking which two I'd not seen before, and I remember 'Variations on the Death of Trotsky', but can't bring 'The Philadelphia' to mind. He has taken long enough talking to us about this that suddenly AH is wandering into the area, and BC and I take off running before she can start screaming at us.

We are now running through a Disney park. It might possibly start out in the Magic Kingdom in Florida, but if so, it almost instantly warps to Disneyland. We find ourselves running right into an area where they are roping off the street in preparation for a parade, and are ducking under ropes and things. We get separated, and I am trying to catch up with her, but the parade ropes soon turn into a ride queue for some kind of children's ride.

Soon I am having to climb a sort of ladder, and I find myself looking at a very small hole I have to crawl through. There's no way ... not even if I was half my size. I have to apologize to people as I squeeze past them back down the ladder. I am looking for a cast member to explain the situation, but it seems they are trying to save money, and have cut back on the staffing, so there is nobody here. Instead I just duck under a barricade and into the loading/unloading area and prepare to walk out the exit, just as a boat or car appears with a cast member wondering what I think I am doing. I start to try and explain, then just say "Never mind," and bolt as the employee glares after me.

I wander around for a bit, then climb a short railing into some brush surrounding the Matterhorn, where I find my little red motor scooter. I pick it up and start to hoist it over the railing when a Disney security guard comes up to me and demands to know what I am doing. "You can't park a motor scooter back here, even if you are a cast member ..." he looks closer at me, and says "And you're impersonating a cast member, as well!" He's ticked off.

I glance down at myself, and find I am wearing western garb that might well look very much like a Frontierland costume. It gets worse as I glance at my feet and find my shoes are huge! Somehow I am wearing Goofy shoes! I think back to this morning, when I was getting dressed, and I just grabbed the first clothes I could find. I didn't mean anything by it. The shoes seemed slightly big, but comfortable. I honestly didn't realize!

But moment by moment the shoes are getting bigger, and the clothes are slightly shifting so that they look more and more like a character costume. Thank God I'm not somehow wearing the head, or I'd be dead! The security guard (who looks like Bob Hoskins in Roger Rabbit) is furious, and ties me to a rope as he is closing a gate to allow the passage of a train, monorail, and even a stage coach to pass [seems more like Knott's than Disney] but the rope falls off, and I move to an out-of-the-way spot. I could have rushed off and been free, but I didn't want to be hunted, so I waited, figuring I could explain.

But he doesn't want to listen. He drags me down to Main Street to see a supervisor, but the supervisor seems to be overseeing some sort of water show. I am told to just wait quietly, and maybe write out a report of my defense. But they have no paper, I have no paper, and am stuck either writing on my arms, or pulling out a rare 1990s park guide map from my backpack (which is loaded with such souvenirs) and writing it on that.

I am trying to point out that I am a collector of old Disney stuff, using that as some of my proof, and trying to show I meant no harm, and didn't even realize what I was wearing, but they don't want to listen. I continue to try to write my report, but splashes from the water show keep hitting the map, and the paper is getting soaked and the ink is running. I finally give up, throw away the guide book, and try to move out of the way so I won't get soaked.

I soon find myself standing in the very back, well behind all the seating, and again I could have just disappeared in the crowds to never be seen again. But when the guard starts looking around for me, I wave to him so he can find me. He seems to be wearing some kind of police car costume that looks like something from the Roger Rabbit movie. He soon discards the costume, grabs me again, and pulls me backstage.

This is the part that is much more like past dreams than real life. He is pulling me through an area that seems to be half backstage, half onstage, to a small door right next to a barber shop which leads to the Disney security office. As he pulls me through, we walk past Denny Hardwick, who I am hoping doesn't recognize me. Bob strolls right through some crowds, but I am a bit bigger, and have to wait for them to pass before I can move past them.

He leads me up to a counter where a young woman glares at me and asks me coldly "what are you in for?" By this time I am getting really disgusted with the way a simple error is being blown out of proportion, and tell her she already knows exactly what I am here for. If she didn't, she would either assume I was a normal person, or an employee, not an imposter! She doesn't deny it. They are just rude and obnoxious, and seem determined to railroad me! AAUUGGHH!!