CanisLucidus

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #2??: That Sexy Corner

I think that I'm still waiting to fall asleep, but I start to get that funny dream feeling and realize that I may have blanked out for a bit. I nose pinch and blow right through, becoming lucid!

I will my legs to ooze to the floor, then I'm up and out in an OBE-style lucid. It feels dark and a bit faint, so I rub my hands together and say, "I'm out of bodyyyyyyyy!! Oh yeah, out of body!"

My perspective switches to looking up at the corner where the ceiling meets the walls. This is unexpected, but I just pretend this is what I wanted to look at all along. "Oh yeahh!!" I say. "That sexy corner!"

This seems to give me my control back, and I walk out into hall, vaulting over the railing and walk downstairs. The dream is much better lit now, and I walk over to the front door to look outside. Wife is standing there and I get the sense that she's going to ask me to take care of some chore, and I mentally remind myself not to get caught up in any distracting pseudo-waking life tasks.

This loss of concentration somehow snaps me back to lying in bed. I ooze out onto the floor again, and I mutter something about having to go all the way back down now. My grumpiness seems to take me out of the proper mood and the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #266: Whoopy Cough

I’m gazing out the window of my kitchen at my back yard. The fence is oddly low, and I see a young girl walking by with her dog. I’m astonished to see that the girl has the head of a blue hippo stuffed animal. When I mentally reality check in response to this, I realize that I must be dreaming.

I turn away from the window and the scene gets a little unstable, breaking into three rectangular pieces that seem to move independently and slide past one another. I relax and take it slow, rubbing my hands together, walking calmly around, talking out loud, and finally licking each hand.

The scene feels reasonably stable, but my vision is almost entirely faded out now. I imagine that I have a big pair of glasses covering my vision and take them off. (The glasses look just like a set of Oculus Rift virtual reality goggles.) Immediately, my vision is crystal clear and I have a completely realistic view of my kitchen!

Wife is standing in the den near my desk. “Hey!” I say to her. “I was having trouble for a second, but we’re in my lucid dream right now!”

She looks around a bit, saying something like, “Is that what this is?”

“I was thinking I’d either take you for a fly or…” I say.

“Yoooouuuuuuuuu…” Wife interrupts, pointing her finger at me dramatically, “want sex!”

“Or, right, that was my other idea.”

Spoiler for Somewhat strange, rather racy part:

We walk over to the couch, and now she’s wearing a negligee, which she quickly shrugs off as she lays down on the couch. She looks amazing! I'm incredibly excited but as I approach, her lady parts produce a loud, unmistakable coughing sound.

“Did you... just cough from there?” I ask, shocked but still no less interested than before.

Wife looks behind her and to the right, as if she heard someone or something approaching. “Hurry, we haven’t got much time!” she says. Just before we get started, though...

...the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #264: The Lone and Level Sands

I’m walking near the corner of our house with my 5-year-old son E, inspecting some kind of odd, muddy buildup that’s caked all along the side of the house. It looks like it was sprayed there. For some reason I think that my next door neighbor sprayed this mud from his yard onto the side of my house. I become fretful that our relationship has soured somehow and wonder whether there was some conflict that I’ve forgotten about. As I think more about all of this, I realized that I have to be dreaming.

I turn to the east, looking toward my neighbor’s house. But everything to the east is a vast, quiet desert. Where my neighbor’s house would be is just the skeletal frame of a house, long abandoned. And now when I turn back to where my house was moments ago, there’s nothing but a ruined frame.



E is still beside me. The desert sun is bearing down on us now. I feel like we’ve just witnessed the passing of centuries, and that everything we know is long gone. I want to be someplace else, so I take a step forward and suddenly we’re in a stone chamber looking out through a long, horizontal window at the desert scene.

“Daddy, what happened to the house?” asks E. I don’t answer, but just tell him (and myself) that this is a dream.

The view through the window grows brighter and brighter, and I’m drawn into and through it, back outside, but this time into a quiet, unspoiled grassland. I sense that this is my neighborhood again, but now centuries before humans arrived in North America. I expect to see bison, and of course I see a lone bison off in the distance.



I walk with E through this quiet paradise for just a moment before the dream ends.

I had this short lucid dream during a very brief mid-morning nap. Lucid napping is a first for me. I didn't perform at my best in-dream and I allow the dream to end much too soon. Also, I get beat up by a little kid. But hey, lucid is lucid! Always learning.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #22: Unwelcome Houseguests

I'm holding hands with my two toddler-age sons, preparing to go outside for a walk. Before we reach the front door of th house, twin boys with curly blonde hair open the door and scurry inside. They look to be about eight years old and are complete strangers to me. This feels strange, and soon I'm lucid.

I decide that I don't want these weird kids running around in my house so I start ushering them out the door. They seem to cheerfully accept getting kicked out so my thoughts turn to lucid goals. I remember that I wanted to do the Task of the Month and replace my head with a pumpkin. But what was the other one? Ah yes, get a vampire, werewolf, or zombie to bite me. Now I remember.

Just as I'm thinking this (and probably because I'm thinking this), the twin on my left suddenly lunges at me and bites me hard on the left pec, right by my armpit. He snarls like a dog, whipping his head back and forth. I'm taken completely by surprise, both by the suddenness of the attack and by how much it actually hurts. I try to shout some kind of command at him but all that comes out is this pathetic yowl.

I blank out for a fraction of a second and my perspective switches to the top of the stairs, looking down at the scene of the attack. I have no dream body and everyone (me, my kids, the twins) is now gone from the scene. My view is turned on its side, as if I were lying down. I try to move, try to RC, but with no body there's not much that I can do.

I imagine that I'm lying here because I passed out and I'm just waking up. This seems to work! I have hands and a body again and I slowly get to me feet. Just then, I hear the sound of my alarm clock and voluntarily wake up. But when I wake up, it's only been 15 minutes since I laid down! The alarm wasn't anywhere close to going off and I fooled myself into waking up for no reason.