blackbirdrising

This was yesterday morning. I woke up around 4 am from a lucid nightmare. In it, my husband Adam and me were at a place getting the car fixed, but the mechanic shop was not a 'shop' it was a huge dumping site, excavated land, recently emptied of trash, people were walking around scrounging for the last usable pieces of trash they could find, they were wearing zipped up haz-mat suits and wearing goggled facial masks as if they were walking in a place unsuitable to breathe in, but the air was fine. I remember 4 people dressed like that. They were spraying something on the ground. I was near the car and talking to Rosa, an internet friend of mine, and Adam was outside. Rosa touched my arm and told me "Adam is dead, I think he's been killed." I fly to the dump site, land and i'm next to his body, hes laying on his back, looking asleep and peaceful, but clearly dead, hes got no pulse and hes not breathing. The 4 masked/suited people look at me and i look at them, no words are exchanged but they know that i know they had sprayed toxic fumes and Adam breathed it in.

Dream changes and I am transporting adams body in a casket, by hearse-bus (a huge bus built just to haul a funeral casket in reality this does not exist im sure), to somewhere up north for burial. im meeting his dad. im at some school building, sitting on the steps just outside of the building, and then Adam (who is dead in the casket on the bus which is parked near by) walks up to me and sits down beside me, and we talk, as we normally would if he were alive and well. we talk about what needs to be done, our happiness and thankfulness for life together, how we wanted more time, and how he hopes i am ready to live life without him, but he also says that he is still there, and always will be. suddenly i run to the casket inside the bus and open it and there on adams chest are 3 black feathers, like from a raven/blackbird. i pick them up and run back to where adam is still waiting for me at the steps, and show them to him, and say 'Look. These are the gifts you gave me.' he said 'yes. i hope you keep them.'

backs story - Adam is in reality, struggling to stay alive. he's been deathly ill for months, and has had multiple strokes since February of this year, which have left him partially blind, unable to use the left side of his body, agoraphobic, and unable to track time/think clearly. he was saved and baptised in may of this year, so i wonder if the death in the dream was of his old life before Christ.

the blackbird feathers.... 'Blackbird' was the first song he taught me to sing, the first one we performed live as a duet, and the first one he taught me how to play on the guitar.

i also have to wonder about the 4 suited hazmat people who 'killed him'. see, back in may, right after he was baptized, i dreamed of 4 demons who had been cast out of Adam, i posted this in my journal its titled "Will never forget this one!". i wonder if they attacked him, or this was simply to make us aware that they are still close by. in the first dream, they were all highly charismatic, enchanting musicians, just like Adam. they were trying to get MY attention, to get adam to come back, because adam was either unable to sense them/ignoring them. in this dream, they were hidden behind masks, in essence, attacking him unseen.

after his stroke, adam could no longer play or sing - after a lifetime of being a musical genius, songwriter, stage performer and recording artist. he mourned the loss of that more than anything else. i remember the woman who did the baptising (another musician, bless her), praying over him asking God to heal him of his afflictions, release him from his addictions, and if God saw it fit for adam to ever be able to pick up his guitar and play again and sing, that God would use him for His work in whatever way God deemed fit. its taken 4 months, but adam is finally able to use his left hand well enough to chord the guitar for a few minutes each day before the pain of using that hand becomes too much,and the strength in his voice is coming back slowly as well. he had another small stroke a few days ago, and since then his right hand (the good one) wont stop shaking, and the left one feels numb. its another healing process, another reminder of why he and i both need to be strong, together and as individuals. he blew me away two days ago when he asked me to google the lyrics to Amazing Grace, a song that until he came to know Jesus just 6 weeks ago he never thought much about. and he belted that song out, with all his strength. his voice that was left withered and cracked after the stroke, sounded like crystal, resounding such healing energy.

I spoke to Rosa about the dream, and she said that she believes that north is the direction in which healing comes from. She also said she believes the blackbird feathers are healing, as is any combination of the number 3. She's Metis (NA).

Its been at least a month since I last logged in. I've been busy taking care of my husband Adam. Its been 3 months since his stroke, and he is healing in every way! Starting from the spirit and working down to his toes!!

9 days ago Adam was baptized right here in the campground where we live, just outside our door. it was 2 days after that, that I had the dream I will remember til my last breath.

I was driving my car, me and Adam were going to the bank. I parked outside our bank and we both got out. Outside the entrance to the bank were 4 street musicians, each playing an instrument (I think 2 were stringed, 2 were flutes). They looked well dressed and normal, like you would see performing on a street corner,except these men all had red skin. Adam ignored them and walked straight into the bank (he would never in real life ignore a musician, because he is one). But it was like he didn't even register that they were there. I walked up to them, stood close to them. Up close I could see that their red skin was covered in rolls of wrinkles, boils, and blisters. I knew what they were, but I wasn't afraid. The one closest to me leaned forward, still playing the stringed instrument he was holding, and began to speak to me. Deafness washed over me. I didn't hear the music or what it said to me. This was a band of demons, expelled out of Adam when he was baptised. I calmly but firmly said "Get back - Jesus has him."

Instantly it was pushed back from me, and I was 30+ feet from the entrance of the bank with an angel on each side of me. I was surrounded by their light and I could hear the lights warmth (I know that sounds weird, hearing warmth, but I cant describe it any other way). I wanted to be with Adam,so I was instantly in the bank. No walking required. The inside was simply a white room. People were walking around, some with their head down, some talking to their self, others interacting. Very few were talking to other people. Some people were in line, some were at the front of the line. I found Adam in line and joined him,and from there, he wrapped his arm around me and we talked about what we needed to do while we were in town.

The white room I think, represented people who love God. Some of them were quiet and not talking to others, instead keeping counsel with their own self, refusing to let go of the self....walking head down,ashamed to be known for their love for God. Others in line were waiting for direction, listening and following in obedience, living in tune with God, they knew their old self was dead. It was sad to see how many Christians were wandering with their head down, hiding, hoping not to be seen.

This was the most powerful dream I've ever had. It was lucid, and at the same time simple and clear. I'll never forget coming face to face with the demon that once inhabited my husband. it wanted him back....it spoke to me because Adam wouldn't acknowledge it - which is because Adam COULDN'T see it after he was baptized. I know when the deafness washed over me,it was pleading with me -- so it could get Adam to make him fall, make him doubt....

WE'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, SATAN.... YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM OR ME ANYMORE!!!! God's building Adam up from scratch since his stroke, and building me up as well - and what ever comes of it will be for Gods glory,so BACK UP!!!!!