Xanous' Dream Journal

#170 - 4:16AM - WILD

I decide to go for MILD this time but I have a hard time getting comfortable and end up on my left side. I'm dealing with some insomnia so I decide WILD might be better. The last time I check the clock, it's getting close to 4AM. I still feel wakeful with racing thoughts as I focus on my face and back of neck so I turn on the irrational part of my brain to avoid thought. I think of random nonsensical words and phrases and soon they come to my mind without any effort. I begin to seen random images and soon I feel myself in a deep trance while maintaining consciousness.

I suddenly feel jostled as if my wife is turning over in bed or getting up. I feel the vibrations now but wonder if she is going to ruin it for me. I concentrate on the back of my neck and the vibrations get stronger. I hear some sound like she is walking in the room and going around to the right side of the bed for the bathroom. Then, she says something to me. I don't quite understand the words but I am becoming annoyed that she is unwittingly sabotaging my WILD. She keeps blabbing away and I am considering waking myself to tell her to stop but I remember this is a common dream sign during the early stages of WILD and I consider the possibility that none of this is really havening. At that moment I hear my wife snoring on my left side and I now know this voice is a dream character.

The vibrations intensify and I transition out. When I am standing I see a figure in the dark directly in front of me. I become startled and I instinctively throw a right hook to the face of this DC. I pull back at the last instant as I realize this might be my wife. I feel my hand softly but forcefully make contact with flesh. For a brief second I cringe at the thought that I may have just attacked my wife in waking life. But no, I remind myself that I am dreaming. Without waisting any time the figure turns darker than night and takes a more shadowy, demonic and feline shape. The entity has an appearance like Katz but more muscular and realistic and dark. It takes hold of both my arms and crosses them over my chest so that I cannot swing at it again. I am forced hard on the bed with this entity pressing on top of me and I fall victim to true sleep paralysis. I try to take control of the situation and yell, "You better leave me alone. Get out of here right now!" It doesn't respond. I see red glowing eyes mocking me. Then I think of the only help I can call on. I begin to say, "I comma...." My voice gets stuck in my throat. (typical for SP) I try again forcing each word. My voice is a gasping whisper, "I command you...In the name of Jeeee... In the name of...JESUS." In that instant the weight is lifted and the presence is gone... or at least held at bay.

I am a little scared to transition again so I wait awhile and begin to spin. I feel myself rotating faster and faster. The feeling is somehow comforting and safe. At some point I feel my central axis shifting and find myself standing, then lying down, then standing again, all while spinning. Then, I blindly phase out through the bedroom door and push onward until I think I'm outside. I look around and see that I am still in the bedroom. I try falling backward through the wall and circle around through the door. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere.

Then I am back in bed and I begin to see something bright. It looks like just a chunk of vision but it looks like our hardwood flooring. I feel like my physical eyes have opened and I close them. I see the dark line of my eyelids close over but I maintain the visual on the floor. I feel like I am seeing through my eyelids now. I move forward.

I am now in the living room but its dark again. I flip a light switch but nothing happens. I remember the demon and become frightened again. I can feel the presence of it in the dark kitchen. I look around and see the rest of the house is lit as it would be at this time of night which always adds to the realism. I say to the demon, "I'm going to kick your ass!" I start thinking that I should not have said that and I start running backward to the front door. I distantly realize that I have never ran backwards in a dream and the feeling is slow and awkward but I want to keep an eye on that demon. I am afraid I will be attacked or held back. When I reach the door I yell again, "Ill kick your ass if you follow me!" I hurriedly step outside and close the door. Safe.

I look around the neighborhood. There is no light but star light and the stars are uniformly spread across the night sky in a dotted grid of purplish blue LEDs. It's beautiful in a dark and dreary sort of way. I gasp and let out a ,"Wooow." I think of trying to fly to a star but like that one dream I feel this dream is still a little too unstable. Then, I remember my original task and walk out into the street. I call out, "Doctor? Doctor Who?" My voice is strong and loud now and I find this comforting. I am looking for an intelligent DC and I want it to be The Doctor.

I see a parked truck at the neighbor's and look in the back for the TARDIS but it is too dark. Now, there is a bright street light and nothing but void beyond the light's glow radius. Several times the darkness takes my vision but I bring the dream back by looking at my hands. I rub them and feel the asphalt. The sensation is surprisingly realistic as usual. As I do all of this I continue to yell for The Doctor to come.

This waiting is hard as I really have to focus to keep the dream together. I wander a little down the street to keep the dream flowing and stay somewhat active. Soon I see the headlights of two cars coming my direction out of the void. They park haphazardly around me and I begin visualizing the doctors face as people get out of the cars. My seems to be unstable and blurry but I see two women and two men. There may have been a fifth person but I cant tell. One woman looks like Bob's wife, Linda, and the other looks and older, heavier version of Sally Field. I didn't realize this until after I woke up but one man looks exactly like a version of The Master"

and the other guy stood farther back in the darkness but he was tall and slender like The 10th Doctor.

I ask Linda, "Where's Doctor Who?"
She looks confused, "who?"
I clarify, "I mean The Doctor. Where is The Doctor?"
She shakes her head.
"You don't know what I'm talking about do you? No? Of course not." I roll my eyes.

I feel the dream fade and I grab her arm to stabilize. Then, all the DCs become very animated and start talking to excitedly to each other all at once. The conversation was very fast and seemed intelligent. I tried following but only understood bits and pieces that I can not longer remember. l speak over them all, "I want to talk to the most intelligent dream character." They don't respond. They just keep talking to each other and the noise begins to sound like a crowd of people. I am annoyed but also amused. I say with a smile, "This was supposed to be a simple thing but now I have all these multiple personalties in my head!" I raise my hands in the air in aggravation.

Suddenly, the "Sally" one stands out the most and I pull her away from the group. "I want the most intelligent dream character. Is that you?"
She nods "yes" but her eyes stay fixed on the group like shes still following the conversation.
I beg her, "Please talk to me."
She calmly replies, "In a minute."
"No. I don't have much time." I know I will wake up soon.
She looks at me now. "OK. Ill talk to you."
I forget my original questions and pause for a moment. Then I think of the nightmarish transition earlier. "Why did I have that horrible image earlier?"
She automatically and quickly replies. "Because of your background history."
I pause and think this over but the dream starts to fade. I take her in a hug for stability and let the others fade out though I can still hear them like in a tin can far away someplace.
It is dark but I can feel her next to me. We continue our conversation in the void as I speak into her ear.
"OK, That makes a lot of sense but what is it?"
There's a brief silence as if she is thinking it over then, "It's your mobile imaging..."
I feel like the DC is breaking down to gibberish now but I continue anyway. "My mobile imaging?"
"...unfolded."
"My mobile imaging unfolded?"
She replies with a flat, "Yes."
I start to ask what she means but I want to remember this so bad. I repeat the phrase over in my mind. I have thoughts that I might forget the first parts of the dream and I unintentionally wake myself up.

The "background history" comment makes a lot of sense to me but the "mobile imaging unfolded" seems a little abstract. What I take from her response is that I sometimes get these bedside demonic entities from my radical evangelical religious background coupled with childhood fears. My subconscious mind merely manifests these things into being when I feel confused that my wife or some other person is in the room with me. Basically in short, It was just a figment of my imagination. Nothing more nothing less. Definitely not spiritual warfare.