Visions in the Dark

I dreamed that my two brothers, my father, myself (at a younger age then I am now) and a few other men I do not recognize were by the sea side somewhere warm. There were no roads but narrow chanels for small boats and canoes to navigate.

My dad tells me and one of my brothers that he and the other men are going a head in another boat and leave me and R in the first boat. R makes me sit in the back ignores my complains that the back of the boat is sinking. I was arguing with him to let me sit up front but he ignored me and soon i'm up to my waist in water. My father and my other brother came along in another boat and got into ours. All the older and heavier men were sitting at the front of the boat, yet is was only sinking and below water at the back where I was sitting.

After complaining and whining I finally convinced my father to let me switch places with them and they all went into the back and I went into the font. The back of the boat suddenly became boyant and the front of the boat sank and I could not lift it above the waterline to help steer. I remember feeling angry and frustrated and sick of it all, like I expected this to happen all the time and I was tired of it.

Eventually I found a small boat of my own and got out of my father's and brother's boat and tried to make my way through the maze of channels on my own. My both didn't sink this time, but I had no control and would often get pushed backwards by incoming waves or the tide. Even though I couldn't really go anywhere, I was happier in my own boat for some reason. I remember at the end of the dream missing my mom and wondering where she was, and being upset that I could not get to her because I had no control over my own little boat.