Visions in the Dark

I am at a public fair of some kind. I don't know the place but there is a large circular Romanesque building in the center and rides and consession stands surrounding it. The circular building in the center is multistoried and I am on an elevator going down to the ground floor. There I meet someone I knew in public school, J.P, though he looks older. He is lost and trying to find his way somewhere. I help him orient himself and he goes on his way.

I am there for army training and see the group that I am supposed to be in and start following. The group is led by Lieutenant-General Roméo Dallaire and he is weaving us through thrater seat aisles and pillers around the building and various rides and events outside. After we have completed a circuit we start again but this time jogging. The rest of the group seems fine but one other girl and myself soon start to tire and have difficultly keeping up.

After the second circuit is completed Lieutenant-General Dallaire starts the group running. Halfway through the circuit I am too tired to run anymore and fall behind, losing sight of the group. I am outside of the circular building and near a large inflatable male lion that is coloured black. It is laying down but it's mouth open as if amidst a might roar. I feel disheartened already because of failing to keep up with the group and falling behind but also feel equally small and pathetic next to this mighty lion. I sit down on a folded metal seat nearby and mope.

Sometime after I have caught my breath the Lieutenant-General and the group rounds and corner and approaches me. I stand up and apologize profusely to Dallaire but he only responds by asking if I am ready to go. I do not understand and he says that he "never leaves a man behind." I protest and say that I am not good enough but he responds that I won't know if I give up trying. I am feeling a bit refreshed after my rest and agree to try again. The group starts off again at a jog and as I follow I look over my shoulder at the inflatable lion and see that it has changed colour to a bright and luminous golden. For some reason this gives me confidence to press on.

The group eventually starts to run again and this time I am able to keep up for the whole circuit. The running comes to an end at a clearing on the tarmac outside of the circular building where a small stage with a red curtain backdrop has been set up. Many civilians have gathered around and in the crowd I can see my father. Lieutenant-General Roméo Dallaire gets up on the stage and starts introducing the runners, giving them little medals and declaring that they have completed the recruitment process and are now officially in the army. Everyone else goes first and I am last.

When it is my turn the Lieutenant-General gives me a metal, says I have completed my training and then adds that I have a special significance in completing this because I persevered in the end and made my father proud. Dallaire notes that I am now in the army at the same age that my father joined the navy and that our proud family militay history will continue. I am confused by all this and though happy to have completed the training I still don't feel that I am good enough to be in the army.

The dream ends there.